CHIBI-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB
         	"Fast-paced insanity at a LOW, LOW price!!!"
                                 PRESENTS...

			     Controversial Jack

			   and the Temple of DOOM

			  Episode 2: Jack and Chill!

*

It was awful.

It was terrible.

It was someone's worst nightmares consummated.

It was the movie Spawn playing on a TV screen from above a doorway.

"Lord, that IS horrible," Jack mused appreciatively, looking up at the
monstrosity and nodding. "And I haven't even gotten *inside* yet! But this
little thing won't stop me from my quest! Right, Mr. Duck?"

Hearing nothing, Jack reached up to feel for his bosom buddy. When assured
that the cheap plastic plaything was still indeed perched on top of his hat,
Jack gave it an affectionate squeeze, making it make a mighty "Squeak!".

"Right you are, Mr. Duck!" Jack laughed at some private joke. "We've seen
FAR more terrible things than *this*! Let us sally forth into the unknown!"

Jack took a step towards the massive doorway and then there was the sound of
several clapping hands.

"Eh?" Jack said in a less than intelligent manner and then turned around to
see who had applauded him. He beheld many, many small, dark natives dressed
in considerably less than decent garb, all carrying spears, pointy sticks,
Sega Genesis cartridges, and other throwable items of little value of one
form or another.

"At last!" Jack bellowed. "A chance to use my ever-trusty whip! And it's
only the second episode too! Lucky me! En garde, villains!"

Just as Jack was about to dispatch the first row of natives in a very
unpleasant manner, the smallest of these strange, small people scurried up to
him, seemingly excited over something.

"Oh, oh! Strange white man with strange yellow thing sitting on his head!
Strange white man with strange yellow thing sitting on his head! You bravest
man Timporarip Lot Ili Mint tribe ever see!" the small one chattered,
effectively bastardizing native speech to the point of being painful. Jack
winced. "You first man brave enough to even approach big Temple of DOOM!"

Jack regarded the drooling masses before him. "Oh, is that all? For a
moment there, I thought I had been suddenly transported into a talk show.
Whew."

The small native jumped up and down in ecstatic glee and redundant happiness.
"We watch you enter big temple! This history in the making!"

At that, the native pulled a television camera out of his loin cloth and
proceeded to record Jack's momentous moment of moment-making on tape.

Jack powerposed and then turned around to get the hell on with it.

He took one step and then there was an uproar.

"HAAAIIII!" the small one screamed. "You now braver than 75% of all bravest
warriors from our tribe just by stepping on first stepping stone!"

Jack flashed them a grin and the crowd went wild. He took another step.

"Oh me!" the small one exclaimed. "You now represent 50% of all those who
didn't die of fright just by stepping on second step! Oh me!"

Jack took one more step. He felt his boot alight on something squishy.

"By the idol's testicles!" the small one exclaimed. "You now stepping on
100% of all those who ever even reached third step!"

Jack swallowed.

"Okay," he muttered as he opened the large doors amid the frenzied cheering
of the crowd. "here goes nothing..."

WILL JACK BE ABLE TO ENTER THE TEMPLE SAFELY?
WHY HASN'T HE BEEN ABLE TO ENTER BY THE SECOND EPISODE?
DOESN'T THE AUTHOR KNOW THAT THERE ARE ONLY SEVEN EPISODES PER CHIBI OF THE
MONTH!?
WHY THE HELL IS THAT BASTARD USING THESE DELAYING TACTICS?
IS IT BECAUSE HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT TO PUT INSIDE THE TEMPLE!??
WILL HE BE ABLE TO ENTER BY THE THIRD EPISODE!?

Stay tuned!