Mighty Angstin' GF Rangers Episode Seven: Absurd Absurd Conclusion! Hey, are we on TV? by Hojo Chibi started by Illyria *** Flaps waving wildly in the burning lights, there sat a lone figure (beside two other lone figures.. which I suppose didn't make them lone, now did it?) in a tuxedo. One could take a look at this figure, and the first thing that would pop into mind would be one of two things - Sugar, or Ultraviolence. "..annnd we're back! For those of you who are just now joining us - what's wrong with you? You paid for this fine block of quality programming and are only catching the very tail end of it? For shame! We are here at UltraRage Chibi and are approaching our final match of the evening!" And the crowd did cheer for the genetically engineered clone of the announcer as Hiroshi gesticulated wildly with his super deformed limbs. "Remind me again why we're midgets with no fingers, Hiroshi?" Daisuke muttered under his breath as his own flap covered his mike, shooting daggers over at his hyperactive partner. "Because it's UltraRage CHIBI! Work with him, Daisuke, because if you don't, then we're going to have to put you in the middle of the carnage and the bloodshed and the WAI WAI WAI SPLEEN!" Guest Announcer Sana-chan cheerfully put in before the other was given a chance to reply, already far too gone to even notice her super deformed qualities. "..sigh. Of course, work with him this, work with him that, let's just get on with the show. Our final match of the evening is a veritable clash of the titans as the Balamb Rangers in their KramerZord take on the Sorceress Edea in her RagnarokZord." Daisuke read from the card in his usual mixture of deadpanning and even more deadpanning, staring out the audience, and trying to ignore the far off cry of "Edea REPULSA". "That's right, Daisuke! And what makes this fight even more special is that our contestants don't even know they're fighting for you, the audience! Yes you, right there, sitting at your computer screen and watching the text scroll by while your lazy finger rolls the mouse wheel instead of using the traditional sco-" Hiroshi might have gone on for a good deal longer had the Fourth Wall not come crashing down atop him, crushing him into a fine, chibi paste. "Anyway, let's get to the Abandoned Warehouse District where our battle is about to take place." Daisuke sighed as he faceflapped. "GOREBLOODKIDNEYSCUTEFLUFFYBALDROBOTGUTS!" *** Sunset. Arguably the most beautiful time of the day, and the perfect dramatic backdrop for the battle which was about to ensue as the last rays of the sun glinted off the balding head of the mighty KramerZord, staring down the aircraft-turned-mecha, the RagnarokZord. "This is the last time you meddlesome rangers will ever be able to bother me again, because you will die here! HA HA HA!" The mighty loudspeakers of Edea Repulsa's `Zord pulsed out across the abandoned district (which was full of warehouses by some odd coincidence), yet fell on deaf ears. Multiple pairs of them. "Squall, can't we just cuddle for a little while? I can be very very very very very very very very very very very very very.." "Can we use the ultimate weapon now, I wanna use the ultimate weapon now, c'mon, let's use the-" *whu-CRACK* -"owie." Quistis smirked. "You know, I don't quite trust the way she's looking at me.." "BLOODMURDERDEATHKILL!!!" *** "I like her!" Sana-chan ^_____^'d. *** (I wish we could use her `Zord. It's shinier than ours.) "Whatever." ][ ULTRARAGE CHIBI MATCH #37 : GO GO BALAMB RANGERS ][ MIGHTY ANGSTIN' GF RANGERS vs. EDEA ("Repulsa!") ][ FIGHT! "YEAH! LET'S BLOW HER TO BITS! BOM!" Selphie squealed as she settled in for the fight, gripping onto her NES Activator / Control Panel. "..I.. I can't do it!" Irvine collapsed into the corner, weeping like a poor, deranged manchild. Nobody noticed. "Mmrph." Zell mmrphed. "You never do seem to learn your lessons from your teacher.." Quistis mused as she took hold of her joystick in manners which made Zell squirm. "Squall, I'm very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very.." (These dialogue sequences take too long.) The KramerZord stepped to one side abruptly, avoiding the same crushing force that had befallen Hiroshi two pages up. "Whatever." Squall's hair fell a miniscule amount to one side inside his helmet, indicating a shake of the head to absolutely no one as the blazing Gunblade was brought to bear. "..very very very very very very very very very very very very.." *** "So what do you think of their odds, Daisuke? I've definitely got my bets on the one that doesn't look like Robin Williams." The recovered Hiroshi queried of his partner, bouncing about like an elastic ball shaped like a clone. "Well I'd say that since they're both in mecha that look to have very similar capabilities, this battle could go on for quite a while, with only sheer luck deciding a winner." "BLOODGUTSMAYHEMULTRAVIOLENCE!" *** "Aura." Quistis bespoke. "Hero DEATH DESTRUCTION ASSKICKING!" Selphie added in. "..very very very very very very very very very very very.." "Whatever." Squall finished as the KramerZord pulled back the blazing Gunblade, and the towering, imposing figure ran forth toward the far more menacing RagnarokZord. 7.9 seconds and 81,346 points of damage later, the battle was over, and the RagnarokZord fell to the ground, teleported to the middle of Utah, and then disappeared for a split second before an explosion appeared where it had once been. "..very very very scared! Wait, no I'm not. We won! WAI!" The all too cheerful girl bounced and glomped onto the Red SeeD after the destruction of the RagnarokZord and the safety of the entire Garden had been ensured. "That's IT!? We built up for six episodes for a fight that lasted eight seconds? We could have just used that to go and kick her ass in the first episode, and kicked around the garden for the rest of the time!" Zell eloquently noted. Although he forgot about the gag in his mouth, so no one paid him any mind. *whu-CRACK* Okay, maybe a little mind. "Well that was certainly anticlimatic." Irvine said with a lazy shrug of his shoulders, the Tan SeeD kicking back against the wall of the cockpit.. central area.. whatever. Just then, the disembodied floating head of Cid Kramer started yelling. "Everything you know is- Sorry, sorry. Good work, Rangers! However, your task is not yet complete! You have defeated the RagnarokZord, but Edea Repulsa still remains! You must engage her in hand to hand combat.." The holographic head's voice trailed out of their ears as his large, shiny counterpart looked down at the smoldering sorcerer on the ground. One punt to the moon later. "Er.. good work, Rangers." And the giant holographic noggin' did let forth a giant holographic sweatdrop. "Wai! Squall! Now we can go back to the Garden and you can make me your slave like Zell is and then we can have some very very very very very very very very very very very very.." Rinoa bounced up and down on each very, quite very very very very nearly giving herself whiplash in excitement. "YAHOO!" *whu-CRACK!* Zell whimpered and lowered his upraised fist. Quistis smirked. "Well I guess the only thing left to do is.." Irvine grinned, turning toward Selphie in an approximation of bishounen smoothness. "GO GO SUPER BEACH DANCE PARTII!" Selphie cried out. And the Balamb Rangers go go danced the night away. *** "." Hiroshi .'d. ".." Daisuke .'d. "I wanna be a Balamb Ranger when I grow up even though I'm an actress now, but then I can kick all sorts of booty and SPLEEN!" Sana- chan cried as she bounced. "Well, that's our final match for the evening, I suppose. So this is Hiroshi and Daisuke, saying good fight, good night!" "..Hiroshi, don't we usually have some sort of backstage scene or great big announcement or world saving relief at the end of these things? I mean, this is rather.. boring." Daisuke noted. "WORK WITH HIM DAISUKE!" And the chibi announcers were leveled by the sheer volume of the audience's cry. In other words, a perfectly normal occurrence. *** ][ ULTRA RAGE CHIBI, EPISODE #PI RESULTS/RECAP ][ VOIDUCK defeats HEADACHE ][ DAN defeats MEXICAN JELLY DONUT ][ 35 OTHER FIGHTS THAT NOONE SEES OCCUR ][ BALAMB RANGERS defeat EDEA REPULSA *** "Okay guys, joke's over. Ha ha ha, really. You can stop hiding now.. guys?" Raijin sighed. *** Author's Notes: What did I get myself into? X_x I am a known procrastinator with a penchant for writer's block that pops up at the most inopportune moments, so I'm not usually the type who's all geared up and ready to work on a deadline when it comes to fanfiction. So I figure I'll sign up for a Chibi! Nothing wrong there, no real plots to worry about. X_x Yeesh. I was inspirationally dead, I know very little about FF8, and I don't think this is my best work by a long shot, but it's done, and I hope you get some modicum of enjoyment out of it, despite the tired Ultra jokes. Comments, Flames, whatever - there's a message board. Next CotM up? Silent Screams. I don't much care for MUDs, and sure, it's just like Spirits of Hope superficially, but it's the only one that really caught my eye. ^_^ -Hojo