"Yoosh!  Another mission completed for UNATCO!  Time to report back to headquarters!" Excel 
exclaimed as she skipped/twirled through the three-foot high water.  Unfortunately, the ground 
then sloped downward suddenly and she drowned.

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Deus Excel
Starter: Lawrence Chu
Part 5 by: Cyndane
People hurt most by this: Warren Spector/ION Storm/EIDOS Interactive
Character Creator: Koshi Rikudo.


Chapter Five:  I'll Come Up with a Title Later

Place:  Near UNATCO headquarters
Time:  Happy Hour
Date:  The day after yesterday
Dog:  The other white meat.

			---Loading---

"Puuchuu, puuchuu,"  said the sinister, yet cute creature into his wrist communicator.  [I 
am outside the UNATCO headquarters.]

*Subtites provided by Soft Fuzzy Pink Things Corporation*

"Puuchuu, puuchuu puuchuu puuchuu," said the leader from the battleship high in the atmosphere.
[Good, now be sure to meet with your contact Excel in order to get access to the enemy 
headquarters.]

"Puuchuu puuchuu puuchuu puuchuu puuchuu puuchuu puuchuu puuchuu puuchuu."  [Ok.]

			---Loading---

"Yoosh!  I must report back to headquarters about headquarters about our victory!" Excel 
exclaimed as she powerposed on the raft floating towards headquarters.  The raft promptly 
capsized.

			---Loading---

Excel beached the raft and hop/skipped/jumped toward headquarters.  Just outside headquartes 
a small yellowish creature lied in wait under a blanket to protect it from the rain.  As Excel 
approached the headquarters, she saw the cute one under the blanket.  She ran up to the creature 
and picked it up.

"Aw... how cute.  But what the hell is it?!?" she exclaimed as she hurled it at speeds up to 
Mach 2 towards the closest wall of headquarters, and through several walls behind that.  

"Puuchuuuu," it said on it's dying breath.  *Translation censored due to MASSIVE profanities*

The blanket covering the cute one drifted softly onto Excel's head.  Upon removing the blanket, 
she spotted a device resembling a hair dryer on the ground.

"UNATCO must have already heard of my victory and left me this reward.  I guess there's no need 
for me to report in today.  I'm going home!"

Excel dragged the raft out to sea and floated slowly home because she lost the oars.

Once she got home, she prepared a bath as she ate a meal consisting of little more than rice.
After her meal, walked into the bathroom and...

*It has been brought to my attention that the following content was not tasteful and was removed 
with extreme prejudice.*

			---Loading---

Excel left the bathroom without the stress she went in with.  Jumping around can be very 
stressful sometimes.  Anyway, she then plopped on the floor and pointed her new hair dryer at 
her head.  A puff of pink smoke drifted out and caused her to cough.

"What kind of *cough* hair dryer *hack* is this *sneeze*?"

She then proceeded to press several buttons and flipped a switch.  A pink ray shot out and up 
through the roof.

			---Loading---

[On the Cheese-Wedge-of-Dhoom space ship in the atmosphere.]

"Puuchuu," said the cute creature leader.  [I wonder why the UNATCO agent has reported back yet.  
He is usually quite punctual with his reports.]

A pink ray then shot through the engine bay of the ship causing it to blow up like a firework.



Episode Five:  I'll Come Up with a Title Later


Today's Experiment........Failed.


~~~~~

This was quite fun to write.
This is my first thing I've written for Improfanfic.
I hope to write more often.
Of course, my turn came during midterms here at college.
heh
And yes, in the second episode of Excel Saga, I really did think the puuchuu's gun was a hair 
dryer at first glance.

	-Cyndane