"OHHHHHH..... Wha.... Ah... " Bob moaned weakly as he slowly began to 
regain consciousness. As he slowly sat up and looked around he could 
see that it nighttime and that a burning greyhound bus was in the 
background. Suddenly he was being smothered between two somethings.  

"Oh thank G-d your ok. You are ok right? OF COURSE YOU ARE. You have to 
be. Right RiGHt RIGHT?!!?"

As Bob attempted to gasp for breath he became aware that it was Plaz 
smothering him and that the two somethings were her breasts. He knew 
that if he did not stop her hugging soon he was going to be smothered 
to death, but he figured there were worse ways to go. 

Plaz quickly pulled away as she realized what she was doing was 
completely out of character (not that's ever really mattered to this 
story before). She looked away rather nervously and then said "Sorry 
but you unconscious for three hours and I was really getting worried. 
Do you feel alright Bob?"

Bob slowly stood up and stretched out his muscles while nodding to 
Plaz. "What happened to me. I had this really strange dream about 
William Shatner, us trick or treating, and Alucard singing a music 
video. At least I desperately hope and pray it was a dream because I do 
not want to hear Alucard sing in real life." 

Plaz just looked at Bob for a minute before sighing to herself. "What's 
the last thing you remember Bob?" 

"Umm let me see... We fought Hecubus and _Sancho_ and then you did 
something unbelievably, mind numbingly, pain-inducingly, idiotically, 
bone headily, stupid and AGHHHHH.........

Unfortunately for Bob he had forgotten that Plaz was still a girl at 
the moment and this being at least vaguely anime like, did what any 
anime/manga/fictional Japanese female would do. She hit with a giant 
mallet of death.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Improfanfic, Without Any Real Joy, Presents For Your Viewing Pleasure?:

Castlevania 1970: Disco Of Evil

Chapter 13: The Pair Witch Mini-Saga 

Please Have Mercy On: Shaun Kronenfeld

While Doing Your Worst, Since This Was His Idea Initially, To:
Gaijin Dan Mastriani
-----------------------------------------------------------------------


After Bob regained consciousness again and retold what he remembered 
(minus the insults since even Bob isn't that dens) up the end of the 
fight with _Sancho_. "Wait now I remember, My father, My father saved 
us. Where is he and for that matter where's Alucard?"

Plaz once again got that upset look on face as led Bob to a picnic 
table near the edge of some woods. In the background fire trucks and 
police cars had surrounded and roped off the burning bus. Plaz had 
already cast a spell that would cause other people to ignore Bob and 
herself. If only what she had to do next was as easy. "Bob that was not 
your father."

"What do you mean he did an item crash that only those of the Belmont 
line can do." 

"Yes he was of the Belmont line Bob. He was... He was... He was your 
cousin Gerald Reinhart. I am sorry Bob."

"What do you mean your sorry. And where IS Alucard? What is going on 
Plaz?"

"I'm sorry" Plaz began "because he was a Vampire."

"WHAT ?!?!!??" 

"Alucard was able to smell his blood and immediately identified him. 
You were running towards him but Alucard shouted out a warning and 
tried to catch up with you but he was to late. Gerald sent out a huge 
wave of bats that surrounded and attacked you. I was able to destroy 
them with my magic but there was no way to do it with out you catching 
some of the spell as well. I am very sorry about that."

Bob nodded with a stunned look on his face. "What, what happened next 
Plaz?"

"Well when Alucard saw what happened to you he became enraged. It was 
scary really because he became monstrous and filled with power. Gerald 
began to laugh and said that this proved the master of funk 
*Handjive* and evil Dark Priest Shaft's point and that Alucard not only 
should join them but eventually would. He then turned into a group of 
bats. Alucard quickly examined you and used some potion that he had on 
you. He told you would be all right in about little while and that I 
should watch over you. He then ran off to chase Gerald down. But that 
was three hours ago and I was beginning to get really worried about 
you. That was why I over reacted the way I did."

Bob just sat there for few minutes taking it all in while Plaz caught 
her breath from the long winded paragraph she had just finished. Bob 
finally looked up and began to speak "Boy there sure has been of 
exposition this chapter" 

"Tell me about it. At least you don't have to say all of it. It took me 
forever to memorize my lines for this chapter."

"Yeah well looking ahead at the script it looks like there's still 
quite a bit left. At least this chapter is pretty short. I guess the 
author felt the need to move the plot along allot."        
"Yeah"

The two companions then slipped back into comparable silence as they 
watched the last of the police cars and fire trucks pull away. The off-
ramp they were on had been closed off so there was only the faint noise 
of traffic in the distant background. The only source of light was the 
lamp next to their table. It was amazing how calm and peaceful it was 
Bob mused to himself. This was probably the first real chance he had to 
relax since this entire madness had started. He sighed again as the 
memories of Gerald filled his head. Although his cousin always had 
teased him when they were younger there nether less had been a strong 
bond between to two of them. "Is there anyway to restore him Plaz?"

"I.... I don't know. There are conflicting accounts but in the end it 
all probably comes down to what future authors want to do."

"Yeah well they better restore him if they know what's good for them." 
Bob said menacingly while he fingered his whip. 

"Now Now Bob, it is not a very good idea to threaten future authors 
like that. After all they might decide to turn you into a blue chicken 
or something. Besides it's not really their fault, it's Brother Drac's  
fault." 

Yet again silence fell upon the two young hunter of darkness. Bob 
finally broke the silence with a question he had wanted answered for a 
long time "Are you a guy or a girl?"

"What?"

"I have to know and every time I try to find some plot development 
interrupts us. Since I'm getting board waiting for Alucard to show up I 
figured if I ask either I'll find out or else something will happen. 
Either way works for me." 

"I see. Well like I have been trying to say for quite some time know 
the answer is obvious. I am............"

Bob sat there for a minute before impatiently saying "Well? What are 
you waiting for?"

"Sorry I just expected to get interrupted that's all. As I was saying I 
am.........."

"WILL YOU GET ON WITH IT ?!!!?"

"Okay, Okay. I am both a guy and a girl. There I said are you happy?"

Bob had a look of utter confusion on his face. "What do you mean you 
are both?"

"I mean I was born with the ability to switch my genders at any time I 
see fit. Thus I see myself as both a guy and a girl."

"But, but, but you told Alucard and me that it was a witches curse that 
caused you to change." 

"No that is not what I actually said. You misunderstood me Bob. Here 
I'll show you. Mr. Kronenfeld would you please go to Chapter 7, No Need 
for Belmont (Belmont No Muyo), and cut and paste out the part where I 
explained all this for the first time.
        
SURE THING PLAZ.

_______________________________________________________________________

"When I was younger, I tried to hunt evil witches for fun, because I 
have 
a mystic bloodline, blah blah blah.  One I tried to hunt, didn't find 
it 
amusing.  When the sun is up, I'm a man.  However, when the moon is in 
the sky, 
I am female."  Plaz recited solemnly.

	"What happens during a New Moon?"  Bob asked from his viewpoint 
of hiding 
behind Alucard.  

	"I'm a real bitch to be around then."

	"..."  Both men echoed.

	"Forgive my impertinence Belnades.."

	"Fernandez."

	"But which... gender... is truly your own?"  Alucard tilted his 
head in 
query.

	"Duh.  I'm.....
______________________________________________________________________

THERE YOU GO PLAZ. THAT GOOD ENOUGH?

"Yes, thanks Mr. Kronenfeld."

HEY NO PROBLEM KID, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME STORYTELLER SJK IF YOU WANT. 
WELL I GUESS WE SHOULD GET BACK TO THE PLOT KNOW. TTFN.

"TTFN?"

"That is how he everything he writes. Do not worry about it Bob. So as 
you can see I never said that curse made me change. I was fighting this 
one nasty witch who went by the name of the Pair Witch. She always 
video taped everything she did and did not take kindly to me smashing 
her camera. So she cast a spell that caused me to lose control of my 
ability to change. She then escaped through a mysterious red portal and 
that was the last anybody ever saw of her. As long as she's alive I 
will never be able to regain control of my change either." 

"Didn't you try looking for her?"

"Well yeah, but it was no use. I have grown to accept this as part of 
who I am but it has not been easy. I know now that I will never find 
her."

Suddenly a rustling sound could be heard coming from the bushes along 
with disconcerting laughter of children. Bob jumped to his feet as Plaz 
backed up in horror. "No" she said "it can't be. Not you. Not THE PAIR 
WITCH!!!!"

Suddenly the lamp light exploded and Bob leapt to the side to avoid the 
falling glass. He pulled a flare that Alucard had given just in case of 
an exploding lamp (Alucard believed in being prepared for every 
situation.) and looked around. He immediately noticed that Plaz had 
disappeared. 

Suddenly (and yes the author loves to use this at the beginning of his 
paragraphs.) a ancient and horrifying voice cried out "Brother Drac 
sends his regards. You want the thing back than come and find it."

With that Bob was left alone for the first time since his quest had 
begun......
							TO BE CONTINUED.......

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Authors Note:

A short note for a short chapter. I want start by thanking everyone who 
helped me with this (you know who you are). I know this is a very short 
chapter but this is the first time I have actually put a fan fic 
written by only me on the web so I did not want to try and go 
overboard. Plus I have never really been any good at this comedy stuff. 
I know there was no Alucard but I really wanted to develop Bob and Plaz 
a little more. Well I guess that's all for now. See you next time (when 
ever that is) E-mail me any comments at StorytellerSJK@yahoo.com TTFN.