In Last Week's Installment of CASTLEVANIA 1970: DISCO OF EVIL Plaz found Alucard when he turned up under her foot. "Bob!" she called. The boy rushed over. "What happened? Where is he?" She pointed to the ground. The half-vampire was lying face down in the grass on the side of the highway. She turned him over, and with some shaking and light to rather heavy slapping on the cheeks, he came to. "Alucard!" "Alucard!" "Uhhgh," Alucard replied. "Alucard, what happened? We lost track of you at the disco and then you were gone for a whole day!" "We tried to go back to the Church of Scientology, but you have the key in your pocket.. or somewhere." "When I whipped the door, it didn't open, it attacked us. It was this wonderful, exciting fight! And when it was over, I got a magical drop!" Bob grinned, but in a moment, his pride deflated like a popped balloon. "What is a 'magical drop' supposed to do?" "What happened to your clothes?" Alucard's once snappy black leather jumpsuit now sported several rips and tears, many of considerable size. This rather fanservice-esque turn of events led to a goodly amount of pale, corded muscle being shown. Plaz wiped a rivulet of drool from her chin. "Alucard, say something!" The cursed half-breed son of Dracula brought his weary, dirty but still pretty head up and towards the direction of Bob and Plaz "Mary," he began. "Where's Mary? I need her..." Bob frowned; Plaz scowled. "Come on, Alucard, what happened?" "I lost my cookies at the disco," he trailed, then passed out again. AND NOW THE CONTINUATION "So" said Bob "Who do you think this Mary is?" "I don't know" said Plaz. "Has anyone seen my Cookies?" said Alucard who had recovered and got into 'normal' clothes. "No, anyway what do you mean by Cookies?" "My Magical Cookies, they are the source of my power." "What Power?" "My magical Power which will be revealed in the last part as a kind of 'deus-ex-machinea'" "Really?!" "I'm not sure." "So do you think this Mary has them?" "OH MARY!" "Oh Great." said Plaz, "You've started him off again." "Oh. Let's go beat up some Scientoligists" said Bob. Then John Travolta appeared out of no-where. "*GASP* JOHN TRAVOLTA" said a Passing Extra. "Yes I am John Travolta! Prepare yourselves Bob, Plaz and Alucard for my ultimate technique which will destroy you!" Suddenly there was an explosion and Bob, Alucard and Plaz dissaperred in a puff of un-logic. "Oh Crud." said John Travolta, "Oh well, I'm gonna go disco." Meanwhile in the Year 2000, there was a kind of inverted pop and four charecters were thrown onto a Movie set. Four? "Where are we?" said Bob, "I.....Don't......Know.....Bob.......Bel.......mont." "William Shatner? But you died in the Halloween Special, which was just a dream and you died in Star Trek: Generations, which won't be made for another 20 something Years, so how the Hell, do I know about it?" "It's obvious" said Alucard, "We must have been transported through time by a 'Non-Exsistent-Plot-Point'." "Non-Exsistent-Plot-Point?" said Bob. "Greetings Beings, How would you like to be help my Movie." said a Short Fat Movie Director. "Look, Alucard here was about to say something Important?" said Bob, then he stopped. "Movie?" "Yes" said SFMDirector whose name happened to be Hig Hertenflirt, "My Movie-Castlevania 1970:Disco of Evil." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Improfanfic offered this Week's Writer A BRAND NEW CAR if he wrote this week's Installment of CASTLEVANIA 1970: DISCO OF EVIL Chapter 18: Castlevania 1970: The Motion Picture But the Author Miles Reid is banned from driving untill he's 100 so he got a Broken Toaster. Creator Gaijin Dan Mastriani got the Car. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A LONG TIME AGO BACK IN 1970 THREE HERO'S EMBARKED ON AN EPIC QUEST TO SAVE THE WORLD THIS STORY ISN'T ABOUT THOSE GUYS IT'S ABOUT ALUCARD-SON OF DRACULA BOB BELMONT-GRANDSON OF ALBERT BELMONT-TOUPEE SALESMAN and PLAZ-GREAT GRANDSON/DAUGHTER TO A GUY WHO BROUGHT AN AFORMENTIONED TOUPEE. AFTER MANY ADVENTURE'S WHICH HAVE PROCEEDED TO UNRAVEL THE HISTORY OF MANKIND ITSELF. THEY HAVE BEEN TAKEN THROUGH TIME AND SPACE TO THE YEAR 2000 AND THUS. "Your Movie's called What?" said Alucard as Bishonenally as possible. "'Castlevania 1970:Disco of Evil', my Ultimate Masterpiece!" said Hig Hertenflirt. "So, are we just Charecters from a Movie or just Charecters from which a Movie was made?" said Bob, who was bloody confused. "Well, the Movie hasn't been made yet. I have the Script right here and it's all true. And it shall be made or my name isn't Hig Hertenflirt!" "Pretty funny name." said Plaz. "I'm named after my Great-Aunt Hig." "OOOkay." "Wait," said Bob, "If that Script is 100% true, then if we read it, we'd find out how we defeat Dracula!" Alucard sighed, a million Woman swooned, "Look Bob, what have I told you about thinking? That's a............pretty good plan!" "Really!" "Yes, really." "Well great, I'm gonna do the happy dance to celebrate!" Bob did the Happy Dance. The three Hero's went over to Hig. "Say Hig, can we have a look at that script?" said Bob. "Only if you tell me one thing." "Sure." There was a Dramatic Pause. "Tell me, Is Plaz really a Boy or Girl if s/he was uncursed?" All three collapsed to the floor in shock. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- William Shatner escaped the Studio in an amazing escape plan.. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, he used the Back Door. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "Let me get this straight, you'll show us the script which tells us how to defeat Dracula if you tell us what sex Plaz really is?" said Alucard. "Yes." "Okay, Plaz-tell the nice man with the strange name what sex you are?" said Bob. "Well, I'm..." BOOM! "I'm..." CRASH! "I'm obviously...." LOUD DISTRACTING NOISE! "I'm of the" JOKE WEARING THIN! "Percsasion." "I have" LOOK LET'S JUST STOP NOW! "I can't do it." "Well, a deal's a deal. No Sex, No Script." "HENTAI!!!" Plaz then proceeded to whomp him with a Mallet that Anime Charecters can conjour up magically. "I didn't mean it like that!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- William Shatner had escaped the Studio with the manuscript for his 'book' Tek War intact. He walked around for several Hours and then he found a Book on William Shatner. He was tired of being Captain Kirk, he never got the Guy always the chick who would die after 45 Minutes worth of dull TV. 'Someday' thought Shatner, 'a bunch of...... losers with no...... life will write stor.....ies in which Kirk and......... Spock........... have mad passionate Lovemaking. Yeah, that'll really SLASH up people's ideals!'. Then suddenly a Lynch Mod appeared. "LOOK IT'S WILLIAM SHATNER-HE WHO CREATED TEK WAR!" "Oh, It's......... my........ Fa....ns!" said William Shatner. "KILL HIM!" And so William Shatner was hunted down by his fans. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Bob Belmont had a Plan, he got out his whip and snatched the Script form Hig's hands. The Three Hero's made a Break for it as Hig angrily chased after them. 'If this were a Cartoon, or an Episode of 'The Monkees', there would be a five minute long chase scene right now' thought the Author of this Part. Suddenly the Monkees appeared and started doing a Music Video as Bob, Alucard and Plaz were being chased by Hig Hertenflirt and someone wearing a very bad monster mask. During this Five-and-a-Half minutes long Chase Scene, everyone proceeded to chase someone else. Then everyone stopped running around-they were tired. As Bob stopped, he tripped over and stubbed his toe. Alucard snatched the script off Bob and turned to the end of the Script. Suddenly the Script Disappered in a puff of un-logic. "What just happened!" said Alucard in a wiff of Bishonen-ness. "Thankyou-beacause of your insane and uncaring disregard for Time, the Script has vanished into the midst's of time." "Why?" said Bob. "Well, you've changed History, all this running's worn out your shoes. You wern't supposed to wear out your shoes untill the Last Part. Plus Bob never stubbed his toe. With these changes to the Timeline, that copy of the Script has ceased to be, even I don't know what really happened." "Sound's like you're making up Interdimensional Physiscs as you go along." said Alucard. "Yeah, it does, dosn't it?" said Hig. "Anyway, since History's been changed, I've got to start the Script from Scratch." "So what you going to do about Plaz in the film?" "Oh Sod it, I'm make her a Girl full time, I'll get some Bimbo with big breasts to play the role. I'll also make Alucard a friendly Animated Bunny Rabbit." "WHAT?! A BUNNY RABBIT!" said Alucard who had got an unbishonen stunt double to say this line. "Look Alucard, do'ya know what'll make you feel better?" "What?" "Do the Happy Dance." With nothing else to do, Alucard did the Happy Dance. "Oh well, I'd better send you back to the 70's", Bob, Plaz and Alucard vanished as they went downstream the river of time. But Hig Hertenflirt lied and decided to send our Trio of Heroes spinning through the Rapids of Time without knowing when or where they'll end up. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- As William Shatner was escaping his Tek War hating fans. He Blew Up unexpectadly. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- At a Walking Medical College a Doctor was holding an interview. "So Young Man, what Makes you want to be a Doctor." "I LIKE WORKING WITH ILL PEOPLE." "And What's you're Name?" "DEATH" SUDDENLY THE AUTHOR OF THIS PART SUFFERED A HEART ATTACK AND DIED. WITH HIS WORK UNFINISHED IT CAN ONLY BE TO BE CONTINUED ----------------------------------------------------------------------- AUTHORS NOTES- I hope you like it! TEK WAR-William Shatner's first novel. It sucks big time don't read it. SLASH-Basically LEMON Fiction for non Anime Series. WILLIAM SHATNER-Guy who Played Captain Kirk in Star Trek. He turned up in 1970'S Halloween Special. Anyway, this William Shatner from this part comes from the far future and has had many exciting adventures before this part. Do you want details of his mysterious adventures? No? Good. CASTLEVANIA 1970: DISCO OF EVIL-THE MOVIE-This film was never made, Hig Hertenflirt never became a Big Shot Director. ANYWAY WHAT'LL HAPPEN NEXT? WILL BOB, PLAZ AND ALUCARD RETURN TO THE 70'S? AND WILL DRACULA AND HIS MINIONS BECOME COSTUMED CRIME FIGHTERS? WILL DEATH PURSUE A MEDICAL CAREER? WILL THE NEXT AUTHOR ACTUALLY ALLOW THIS TO BE ACCEPTED OR JUST FOB IT OFF AS A CRAZY DREAM? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXSASPERATING EPISODE OF CASTLEVANIA 1970:DISCO OF EVIL!!!