Konami headquarters. A name that strikes fear and horror into the hearts of all who hear its name, believe it or not. 'I find that rather hard to believe.' Would you believe it makes people vaguely uncomfortable? 'No I don't think so' Okay... How about they snicker and look down on it as they pass by it. 'How about we get this story moving along some sort of a semblance of a plot?' Wow that's completely different and unheard of in this story. 'Trust me.' -\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/- Improfanfic is sick of this joke (and series) and is just plain presenting: Castlevania 1970: Disco of Evil Chapter 26: The great exciting really neat incredibly unnecessarily dramatic run on sentence filled and totally cool keen insane Alucard, the formerly bishoun and cursed half breed son of Dracula whose human and vampire natures eternally war with each other and who struggles to do good in the face of overwhelming evil, filled chapter that is sure to anger and ignite controversy in true Mazoku wannabe style. or What the hell was I thinking when I wrote this? Written by Shaun Kronenfeld (aka StorytellerSJK) as Improfanfic looks on in shock because he came back for more. The glutton. The designated Alpha & Omega: Gaijin Dan Mastriani -\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/- "Alucard, the formerly bishoun and cursed half breed son of Dracula whose human and vampire natures eternally war with each other and who struggles to do good in the face of overwhelming evil, is losing it." Bob said to Plaz. "What makes you say that?" Plaz asked. Suddenly one of doors up ahead burst into pieces as a large security guard was thrown through it. Alucard stepped through the broken remains of the door seething with uncontrollable rage. "WHERE IS YOSHITAKA AMANO MORTAL FOOLS? TELL ME IF VALUE YOUR SOULS!!! I MUST FIND HIM SO THAT I CAN RESTORE MY FORMER PRETTY BOY LOOKS. FOR WITHOUT MY PRETTY BOY LOOKS I AM NOT TRULY A BISHOUN. AND IF I'M NOT A BISHOUN THEN THERE IS NO WAY I CONTINUE TO BE THE CURSED HALF BREED SON OF DRACULA WHOSE HUMAN AND VAMPIRE NATURES ETERNALLY WAR WITH EACH OTHER AND WHO STRUGGLES TO DO GOOD IN THE FACE OF OVERWHELMING EVIL. AND IF I'M NOT A CURSED HALF BREED SON OF DRACULA WHOSE HUMAN AND VAMPIRE NATURES ETERNALLY WAR WITH EACH OTHER AND WHO STRUGGLES TO DO GOOD IN THE FACE OF OVERWHELMING EVIL THEN I'M.... WELL JUST SAY YOU WON'T LIKE IT VERY MUCH AT ALL." Alucard screamed as he picked up the guard and threw him through a wall. "Lets just call it vampire hunter's intuition." Bob said as the two sidekicks walked up to Alucard." "Hey! We're not sidekicks dammit. We are partners in a equal venture to track down, destroy, and wipe out the forces of evil and disco (same thing) for all time. We are defiantly NOT sidekicks. GOT IT?" Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not sidekicks. I got it, I got it. Anyways let try this again shall we. "Lets just call it vampire hunter's intuition." Bob said as the two partners in a equal venture with Alucard to track down, destroy, and wipe out the forces of evil and disco (same thing) for all time walked up to Alucard. "Ummm.... Al? We need to grhghgghhh...." "HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU, YOUNG BELMOUNT?!!? DON'T CALL ME AL!!!!" GET IT?" "Got it." "GOOD." He then dropped Bob on the hard, cold floor. Plaz had a shocked look on her face as Alucard stalked away from his two partners in a equal venture with himself to track down, destroy, and wipe out the forces of evil and disco (same thing) for all time. "Are you okay Bob?" Plaz asked, a concerned look on her face. "Yeah, I'm fine. Look Plaz I think that's it rather clear that Alucard has lost it and we need to calm him down." As Plaz helped Bob up he continued "And I also think that its pretty clear we should not attempt a direct, head on attack. I mean I would hate to have to seriously hurt him or anything." "....." Plaz responded while giving Bob the look usually reserved for when opening a refrigerator after you have been away for two years and forgot to take out the blue cheese. "Alright geez. I would hate to have Alucard seriously hurt me or anything. Happy?" "Yepp. So Bob what's the plan." "Well I not real experienced in this leadership thing but I'm thinking the most important thing is to not let Alucard out of our sights for even a moment. I mean just think of the horrible and blood-curdling things he might do right now." "Uh Bob." "Yes." "Two things. First of all why have there been no descriptions for nearly a paragraph now." "Probably because the author is a lazy bastard who figures that since this is a chibi nobodies gonna notice the lack descriptions. But they will now, won't they smart guy? What you gonna do now?" Suddenly a large yellow hand appeared out of nowhere and proceeded to beat the crap out of Bob. How's that for description Mr. S&M whip boy?" "Bob you forgot rule number 1230 of being an impro character." "What rule is that?" Bob said sluggishly as he attempted not to faint from the pounding he had received. "Never insult an improauthor currently stuck in the grips of Black & White, of course." "Ah. Good rule. I'll have to remember that one. By the way what was the second thing you wanted to tell me." "Oh nothing much. I guess you didn't notice, but during you beat down Alucard wandered off. You see that large hole in the wall that wasn't there five minutes ago? Guess who? Now tell me again how important it is not to let Alucard out of our sights." "WHAT?" Bob shouted "Oh crap we've got to find hin before...." Suddenly a loud, high-pitched, horrible, blood-curdling scream filled the hallway. Bob and Plaz just looked at each other and began to run down the hallway in the direction of the scream. -\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/- Five minutes earlier.... He was ready. Of course that went without saying since he was after all _Sancho_. Because who could possibly be more ready than _Sancho_? _Sancho_ answered his own question since only _Sancho had the _Sanchoness_ to answer a _Sancho_ asked question. Only _Sancho. Only _Sancho_. No one could be more ready than _Sancho_ since they were not _Sancho_ themselves. Satisfied _Sancho_ watched as his target, Alucard the formerly bishoun and cursed half breed son of Dracula whose human and vampire natures eternally war with each other and who struggles to do good in the face of overwhelming evil, approached. Of course the other two, the two partners in a equal venture with Alucard to track down, destroy, and wipe out the forces of evil and disco (same thing) for all time, weren't with him. But they didn't really matter anyways. _Sancho_ continued to watch from underneath his cardboard box as Alucard drew ever closer. A lesser man would probably have been worried when Alucard sliced up part of the wall to enter the hallway. A lesser man would have probably been reconsidering the wisdom of attacking Alucard once they saw the feral and enraged look on his face. And a lesser man would have most defiantly not tried to hide from a inhuman being with senses far beyond those of normal men inside a frigging cardboard box. Of course _Sancho_ was hardly a lesser man. Before _Sancho_ could begin his magnificent and glorious attack against Alucard, two heavily armed Konami security guards (wearing the camouflage uniforms that were standard Konami issue)entered the room. Oddly enough they had large red question marks hovering over their heads. As soon as they noticed Alucard, large red exclamations marks appeared over their heads and incredibly snappy and exciting action music began playing. They immediately opened fire on the formerly bishoun and cursed half breed son of Dracula whose human and vampire natures eternally war with each other and who struggles to do good in the face of overwhelming evil. Alucard charged toward the guards, blocking the bullets being fired at him with his sword. "He's like some sort of superhuman, cybernetically enhanced mysterious ultra cool ninja with a horrible disfigurement and tortured past." The guard manage to say before Alucard grabbed him by the throat with one hand and choke slammed him to hell. Well actually just to the floor below but it was still really bad. Oh and oddly despite the fact that a full sized human being went through the floor, the hole left behind was just large enough for a foot to get stuck in it. Funny coincidence that, huh. "Hey that wasn't a Metal Gear Solid reference." The remaining guard foolishly said. Foolishly because instead of wasting time, he should have been running the hell away from Alucard. As it was he never even had a chance to avoid the vicious uppercut that sent him flying. Now if they had been outside the uppercut would have sent the guard flying off into the distant horizon leaving only a shinning star behind while he shouted something like "Team Konami is blasting off again." Unfortunately they weren't currently outside so instead the guard simply, and painfully, got his head stuck in the ceiling while his body dangled comically for all to see. Now by this point any normal and/or sane person would have wet their cardboard box. (With sweat you sickos.) As it was even _Sancho_ found himself hesitating as Alucard walked by his cardboard box. But in the final analysis he was _Sancho_. And that entailed all the obligations that being _Sancho_ brought with it. So he threw off the box, leapt back, and prepared to launch his ultimate attack at Alucard. Unfortunately he didn't look where he was leaping and ended up getting his foot stuck in the hole left by the guard. This caused him to trip and fall flat on his face. Actually this was rather fortunate for author since it saved him the trouble of trying to come up with an ultimate attack for _Sancho_. As he tried to stand, _Sancho_ heard a snarl and looked up to see Alucard in mid-air leaping towards him. He had just enough time to say 'mother' doing his best Daffy Duck and scream a loud, high-pitched, horrible, blood-curdling scream before Alucard was upon him. -\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/- As Bob and Plaz ran through another hole made by the formerly bishoun and cursed half breed son of Dracula whose human and vampire natures eternally war with each other and who struggles to do good in the face of overwhelming evil, Bob noticed something. "What the heck is wrong with this building?" Bob asked. "It is made up of nothing but hallways." Hey Bob you want do me a favor and stop picking apart the story. Trust me this part does not need the extra help. So cut it out or else you're going to end saying hello to Mr. Hand again. "Okay. Jeeze. What is this the pick on Bob part?" "No of course not Bob, we would never have an actual part put aside for picking on you." "Well thank you Plaz." Bob replied. "Yeah we do that every part so why bother making a special part for it." "Yeah thanks a lot Plaz." "No prob, Bob." Plaz began to giggle when her eyes widened in shock. She leapt at Bob and managed to knock him to the floor, just as a _Sancho_ shaped object had flown through the space he had formerly been occupying. Before Bob even had a chance to become embarrassed from the way Plaz was pressing against him, Alucard trampled them both as he ran after _Sancho_. -\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/- And thus did Alucard, the formerly bishoun and cursed half breed son of Dracula whose human and vampire natures eternally war with each other and who struggles to do good in the face of overwhelming evil, trample Bob and Plaz, two partners in a equal venture with him to track down, destroy, and wipe out the forces of evil and disco (same thing) for all time, into unconsciousness. And thus did _Sancho_ find himself wishing that he had comprehensive medical insurance. And thus did Death, Shaft, and Dracula get really mad for not even appearing in this chapter. And thus did Shaun finally finish the story, which due to real life circumstances was much shorter and a lot less entertaining than originally imagined. And there was much rejoicing. Wai. -\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/- Authors note I originally had much larger and more epic plans for this but wouldn't you know my life just kept getting in the way. Oh well, I hope this at least entertained everybody just a little. I think I'm just going to stay away from chibi's awhile. I just can't do comedy very well as this chapter proves. Later. TTFN.