Yuri caught her toast expertly in her mouth as it popped
up from the toaster.  The feat becomes more impressive if
it is added that she was pouring a glass of orange juice
with her hands and opening the refrigerator with her left
foot at the time.

Her father sat at the breakfast table, absently sipping 
a cup of coffee; her mother had already dashed off to an
early meeting.

Tucking the glass of juice between her chest and her left
arm, she replaced the juice carton and swiped a new jar
of grape jam in one fluid movement.

The doorbell rang.

"I wonder who that could be," Troi muttered.  He rose and
wafted out of the kitchen.

"Unf," said Yuri, struggling with the jam jar lid.  "Come
on, open.  Open!  Rrrrrgh!"

The doorbell rang again.  After a moment the door opened
and the misty, wraithlike form of Troi Mikagami peered
out of the shadows at the sullen youth slouching on his 
doorstep.

"What?" he said.

"Come to collect for the paper." 

Troi grunted.  After a moment a wallet emerged from 
somewhere inside his body.  "How much?"

"Thirty," said the paper boy.

In the kitchen, Yuri shifted her grip and tried again.
"Mnnfff," she huffed.  "Open!  Open open open!"

Out on the doorstep, Troi grunted again.  "Larcenous," he
muttered.  "Now listen here, young man, next month I want
the paper on the doorstep where it's supposed to be.  Not
in the bushes.  Not on the roof.  Not in the lake of 
acid.  Not in the pit of screaming lost souls.  The 
*doorstep*.  Got that?"

"Whatever," said the youth.  Troi slapped the payment 
into his outstretched hand and slammed the door.

Yuri looked at the clock.

"Hey, don't I get a tip?"

The door opened again, slowly.  Troi glowered ominously
from behind it.  "Yes," he said.  "Don't press your 
luck."

From the kitchen came the sound of shattering glass.

The paper boy was then knocked high into the air as an 
intercontinental ballistic Yuri came sprinting through
the door.  She yelled a doppler-distorted
"ByeDadgottarunsorryaboutthemessinthekitchenbutI'mgonnabe
late!" as she left.

The paper boy landed face down in the birdbath, from 
which glistening black tentacles emerged and tried to 
drag the rest of him into its unfathomable, inky depths.
He eventually pulled free and ran down the street, 
shrieking incoherently.

Troi Mikagami sighed.  It was the little satisfactions 
in life that really brought a warm, gnawing feeling to 
his heart.

*********************************************************

                     Dark Heart High

           Netherworld Educational Institution for
              The Universal Propagation of Evil

                      started by Mads

*********************************************************
Part Three: Confrontations!
by Mervyn the Wonder Slug
*********************************************************

Yuri came flying into school pell mell, as was quickly
becoming the norm.  She failed to anticipate, though, 
that some inconsiderate person might have stuck some 
limb carelessly out in front of the doorway to her
classroom.  And indeed, Yasuko Wareme had been most 
careless that morning.  Traveling at such velocity, Yuri
did not so much trip as achieve liftoff.

The world slowed infinitely, as it usually does at 
moments of extreme embarassment.  Every synthetic fiber 
of the institutional carpet stood out distinctly as she 
flew over them, arms flung wide, legs flailing 
ineffectually, toward a bright, bold future that promised
facial rug burns in large quantity.

Yasuko's nasty falsetto snicker etched itself into her 
brain as she hurtled groundwards.  She braced herself 
for the double blow to body and ego, and was thus quite
surprised to find her fall broken by the sudden 
appearance of a body in front of her.

"Unf," she said, which is about all you can manage with
your face embedded in someone's shirt.

"Miss Wareme!" she heard Kurosawa-sensei snap.  "For 
shame!  This is not *Remedial* Villainy.  The next time 
you feel inclined to pull some juvenile stunt, at least
show the initiative to use a proper pit of spikes or 
razor-sharp monofilament tripwire."

A pair of hands on her shoulders gently pushed her back,
and she found herself staring up into the deep gray eyes
of Ki Tamaida.  He gave her the tiniest sliver of a 
smile.

"You all right?" he asked.

"Y...yes.  Thank you."

"Be more careful next time," he said, and then returned
to his seat.  Yuri became aware that much of the class
was leering at them.  Ki took no notice at all, but Yuri
felt her cheeks go crimson.  Even so, she felt something
of a warm, squishy feeling welling up inside her as she
took a seat next to Leilei and Bala.  It was kind of 
nice to have a handsome...samurai...in, well, 
*metaphorical* shining armor, at least.

Even if he was always bored and cackled like a mad hen 
on nitrous.

Leilei pulled her out of her reverie by leaning over and
whispering, "That was a nasty trick.  Right, Bala?"

Yuri shifted her eyes to the bandaged boy, whose single
exposed eye was gazing dully but unblinkingly at Yasuko,
who sulked in her desk by the door.  Leilei nodded, 
apparently satsified that Bala was in complete agreement
with her, and sniffed in the fashion of a miffed society
matron.  "Don't you worry, one of these days I'm sure 
she'll get exactly what's coming to her."

The intercom crackled.

"Good morning," Amakusa's voice spoke from the cieling.
"I do hope that you all have adjusted to your first few
days of classes.  I'm sure that many of our new students
are eager to show their school spirit, and I am pleased 
to inform you that starting on Monday, the 
Extracurricular Activities Board will make 
representatives from all approved clubs available to you
during lunch periods.  I encourage you all to seek out 
like-minded peers, whose many varied experiences will no
doubt suppliment your own.

"On a related note, for the athleticly inclined, next 
week the junior varsity athletic teams will also begin 
tryouts for the new season.  I remind you that the first
match against our rivals at Knight School will be upon
us before long; I trust you will do your school proud.

"And now I am sorry to report the first casualty of the 
school year, Venefik the Unmentionable.  However, if 
success is to be ours, we must learn from all things, 
and thus I would like to thank Venefik for illustrating
so *colorfully* to us that, should you attempt to summon 
and contain the Demons of Infinity, you will need 
something substantially stronger than a standard Zip-Lock
bag.  Proper preparation is not a matter to be taken 
lightly.  For those of you eager to partake of this 
valuable educational opportunity, he will be on display
on most of the exposed surfaces in room C-241, at least
until the janitorial staff find some way of scraping him
off.  Thank you and good day."

Yuri gulped.  She'd been more right than she'd expected 
when she predicted this school would be a blast.

                          -=*=-

Basic Villainy passed without unfortunate incident, even
for Craig, who managed to remain unfrozen throughout the
entire class.  Yasuko was apparently still too busy 
chafing under Kurosawa-sensei's harsh reprimand to pay
her much attention.  The bell rang, and Yuri headed 
for her next class--one, mercifully, without Yasuko in
it.

All was not buttercups and daisies, however.  Nothing in
her life to date, not her third-grade math class, not her
father's occasional rambling lectures on the importance 
of meanness of spirit, not even her trip to the Museum
of Spackling Compounds, had prepared Yuri for the horror,
for the mind-numbing monotony that was her Dark History
class.

After the initial shock of finding that her teacher was
a brain, floating in its own juices, encased in a glass
dome atop a purple mechanical construct, Yuri quickly 
fit the class into a slot she had always reserved for 
such subjects, even back in junior high--nappy time.

"The Dark Heart High *click* institution for the 
universal propagation of evil *clickclickclick* 
was first established with the help some of the most 
underrated evil minds of the time," the brain droned 
through audio devices installed in its container. 
It sloshed in its housing as it whirred about the front 
of the classroom, writing busily on the chalkboard with
flimsy-looking metallic tentacles.  "While, at first, 
*click* the Greater Councils of Evil frowned upon the
idea *clickclickclick* of a school teaching their 
craft..."

"... zzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzZZzzzzz..."

"...with its later successes in producing relatively 
competent villains and villainesses *clickclickclick*,
generally miles beyond early self-taught practitioners of
evil, the Council *click* eventually embraced the school
as a valuable part of The System..."

"... zzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzzz...."

The brain wheeled itself to the front desk, where it 
simultaneously replenished its supply of chalk on hand 
and referred to its notes.

"By first understanding *clickclick* how Dark Heart High
came about," the brain explained, "we can then comprehend
more easily *clickclickclick* why it is important to 
examine the deeds and especially the misdeeds *click* of
the blackguards who have preceded us.  Now, I really 
shouldn't need to *clickclick* elaborate on this, as I
spoke at some length about it *clickclick* in my 
introduction yesterday, but I cannot stress enough 
*click* how vital repitition is in histo--"

*THUD*

All fifteen of the cylindrical casing's artificial 
tentacles threw themselves up in the air and waved about
madly.  The trash-bin like steel machine that held the 
brain spun once on its wheels, splashing the inside of
its crowning dome with pinkish fluid.  After steadying 
itself, the audio devices clicked in apparent irritation
at the girl in the front row who was looking very 
sheepish indeed.

"Miss Mikagami *click*," the brain said impatiently, 
still waving its tentacles about.  "The audio-receptor
implants *clickclick* in my vessel are very sensitive.
Please refrain from *clickclickclick* making any 
unnecessary noise or I may be forced to discipline you
for *click* disrupting my class."

"G-gomen," Yuri said, smiling apologetically.

"What *click* happened?"

"I... slipped, sensei," Yuri hastily invented.

"No, you *click* didn't," said the brain, putting its
tentacles where its hips would have been, had it still
had a body.  "You fell asleep in the *clickclickclick*
middle of my class, didn't you?"

Yuri's eyes shifted left and right in embarassment as
her fellow students snickered.  Leilei sighed.  Ki stared
fixedly at the ceiling.

"H-hai, Aug-sensei," Yuri confessed, bowing her head low.

"*clickclickclick*," said the brain as it processed the
information.  "You *do* realize what *click* I have to 
do now, don't you?"

Yuri cringed, remembering the subzero treatment meted 
out on Craig the other day.

"H-hai?"

Busy clicks emanated from the purple metallic housing.
Yuri prepared for the worst. The brain pulled out a slip
of paper from a compartment that slid open on its side.
Holding it firmly on the desk with one tentacle, it 
scribbled something on it with another.

"Dark History is one of the most interesting classes 
available in the curriculum," Aug said idly as it 
scribbled, voice strangely absent of clicks.  "Sleeping 
during it and in the presence of someone who loves 
history as much as I do is a serious affront to the 
school of thought in general...you *do* realize that,
don't you?"

Yuri bit her lip.  "Hai."

"I thought so... *click," said the brain, doing its 
equivalent of nodding from within its shell.

It finished whatever it had been writing.

"You are obviously *click* suffering from some sort of 
medical condition," said Aug, handing--or tentacling, as
the case may be--the slip to Yuri.  "Stress, perhaps, but
I *clickclick* doubt that, as we are still in the first
week of classes.  Not for me to *click* decide, in any
case.  Take this slip and report to the *clickclick* 
nurse's office immediately."

Yuri blinked, uncomprehending, at the slip being dangled
before her.

"Do you *clickclick* have a hearing problem as well,
Miss Mikagami?"

"Ah, no," Yuri responded, and snatched the piece of paper
from the tentacle.  "Arigatou gozaimasu."

"Don't *click* thank me," said the brain.  "I know all
about diseases.  I should know better *clickclickclick*
than anyone else how dreadfully, dreadfully *click*
CRITICAL it is to look after one's health...after one's
...body...*click*."

Yuri stared as the Aug-sensei's voice trailed down to
small, almost inaudible clickings.

After a moment of silence, the robotic body whirred to
life again.

"Leave now, Miss *click* Mikagami."

"HAI!" Yuri jumped up and made her way out as quickly as
she could without actually breaking into a run.

When the door shut behind the girl, Aug returned its 
attention to the remaining pupils.

"Now, *clickclick* can anyone tell me who the first
principal of Dark Heart High was?"

                          -=*=-

Yuri walked nervously into the school infirmary.  There
was a desk at one end of the waiting room, occupied by a
pretty young woman with a typical pointy black witch's 
hat and extremely shiny round spectacles.  They obscured
her eyes completely, or would have, had her eyes not 
already been obscured by the dense and very technical-
looking book she was holding in front of them.  She 
looked up as Yuri closed the door behind her.

"Hi!" she called.  "Can I help you?"

"Um, one of my teachers sent me down here for a 
checkup..."

"All right," said the girl.  "Name?"

"Yuri Mikagami."

"Okay, Yuri.  You new here?"

"Yes."

"Thought so."

"Are you a student here too?"

"Yep.  Name's Liza, inventor and sorceress extrordinaire.
I exempted all my science classes--" Liza paused to 
powerpose briefly--"so I work here in the mornings.  I
think the nurse is with another student, so if you'll
just wait here a moment..."

Yuri sat down and examined her surroundings.  In junior
high, the nurse's office had contained posters about 
dental health, pamphlets on alcohol awareness, and the 
requisite 20-year-old magazines.  This one contained 
four blank walls, chairs, and a desk.  The only sign of
decoration in the room was a large plant in the corner,
which had a large "Do Not Touch" sign dangling from one
leaf.  As Yuri watched, one of its heavy, pendulous bulbs
gave a gentle belch.

The inner door opened just as the bell for the next 
class rang, and Sakazashi the Fifth walked out.  Liza
nodded to Yuri, who stood up and headed inside.

"Boy, you look like hell," she heard Liza say cheerfully.

"I'm feeling really...drained," Sakazashi replied.

"...C'mere, lemme show you a little something I whipped
up this morning..."

                          -=*=-

Leilei folded up her little chair and filed out into the
hall with Bala.

"I hope Yuri's okay," she said.

Bala shifted his eye to her.

"I'm sure she was just bored," she giggled, "but I 
guess Aug is pretty nervous about illnesses...  Well, 
let's see, what's next on your schedule?  Oh, that's
right, we have to go all the way across to the chemistry
building.  We'd better get moving."

Bala followed complacently as she grabbed one of his 
chains and set off.

Behind them, Ki halted as Yasuko hooked one finger into
the back of his collar.

"Hold on just a second.  What's your game, Tamaida?"

Ki turned to face her and raised an impassive eyebrow.
"I don't know what you're talking about."

Yasuko rolled her eyes.  "Oh, come off it.  The gallant
gentleman schtick?  Please.  I'm not buying it.  Don't 
tell me the poster boy for Valium is actually sweet on 
that little strumpet."

Ki stared at her from under heavy lids.  "Correct me if
I'm wrong," he yawned, "but I thought strumpetry was 
*your* area of expertise."  He turned his back on her and
walked away.

"You little creep!" she called after him.  "You'd better
not really like her, because when I'm done with her there
won't be enough left to sweep into an envelope!  Hmph."

Ki sighed as he walked.  He'd rather not have to get 
rough with the little tramp, but Yuri Mikagami was too
valuable a commodity to allow her to be hurt.  Perhaps 
it was time to pull a few strings.  He found a quarter 
in his backpack and headed for the pay phone.

                          -=*=-

Yuri found herself in a hall, in front of another door
marked "Examination Room."  This she took to be the one.
She knocked hesitantly.

"Come in," said a soft, almost childish, voice.  Yuri 
opened the door, stuck her head in, and looked around.

"Down here."

She looked to the floor.  In front of her, holding a 
clipboard far too large for her, stood what appeared to 
be a little girl of perhaps three.  She was the most 
alarmingly cute person Yuri had ever seen.  Her hair was
done up in cute little blond pigtails, her cheeks were 
rosy and dimpled, and her eyes, which were extremely 
blue, were so large that, had they obeyed the laws of 
normal anatomy, would have had to have been the size of 
soccer balls.  She wore a nurse's uniform several sizes 
too large for her; the sleeves had been rolled up more 
than half way, and the legs trailed out behind her on 
the floor.  This understandably made walking difficult.

Yuri felt her jaw working, but no sound was coming from
her mouth.  The little girl extended a chubby hand 
upward.  "I'm Nurse Sybil," she said, with just the hint
of a cute little lisp.  "What kind of boo-boo do you 
got?"

"Er...Aug-sensei sent me down here for...a check-up..."

"Okies.  You gots to get on the table, then."

Yuri sat down on the exam table and watched with grave
misgivings as Nurse Sybil, with much difficulty and the
aid of a footstool, hauled herself up onto the table as
well.  She checked Yuri's ears and her breathing and 
scribbled a note, with difficulty, on her clipboard.

"Have you sleeped enough?" she asked.

"Ah, too much, in fact..."

The nurse made another note.  Then she gave a dainty
little sneeze and suddenly rocketed upward, burgeoning
out in many unexpected directions along the way.  It was
impressive that the uniform even managed to contain her.
She slipped off the table and looked down at Yuri, a 
pouty expression on her face.  Yuri jerked back in shock,
banging her head against the wall in the process.

"Ow!"

"Oh, I do beg your pardon," the new and very much more 
adult Nurse Sybil said breathily, delicately adjusting 
the mass of curly blond hair atop her head.  "It must be
allergy season again.  Now," she said, fishing a tongue
depressor out of a nearby jar, "open your mouth and 
say...'Ahhh~hhh~hhh...'"

She leaned forward, treating Yuri to a view that had 
caused many male students to pass out from loss of blood.
There seemed to be some danger of her spilling out.

Yuri blushed.  "I-I'm not sure I can say it quite l-like 
that," she stammered.

"Oh, that's okay....  You just do your best for nurse, 
okay, sweet thing?"

Yuri opened her mouth and Nurse Sybil peered into it,
wieldng the tongue depressor with callous disregard for 
the gag reflex.  "Anything sore?" she asked.  "Any 
muscular stiffness?"

"Ah ing ah aw ih aring oo urh."

Nurse Sybil withdrew the tongue depressor.  "What's that,
sweety pie?"

"I said, I think my jaw is starting to hurt."

"Oh.  No muscular stiffness?  Pooh.  I was hoping to try 
out my new massage oils..."

Yuri grinned nervously.

"Well, no matter," said Nurse Sybil brightly.  "Now let's
get you out of that shirt and...ah...ah...ah*choo*!  UP
ONTO THAT SCALE!  HUP!  HUP!  HUP!"

Yuri stared with alarm at the extremely muscular woman--
she assumed it was still a woman--now barking 
approximately three inches from her face.  She scurried 
over to the scale and stood on it, trembling.  Nurse 
Sybil goose-stepped over and scrutinized the dial 
carefully.

"IS THAT ALL?" she bellowed, rattling the windows and 
dissaranging Yuri's hair.  "WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, YOUNG
LADY, I WEIGHED THREE TIMES THAT!  HUAH!"  She flexed a 
massive bicep, again right in front of Yuri's face.  
Then she crushed an empty pill bottle against her 
forehead.  Yuri's expression was coming increasingly to
resemble that of a trapped deer.

"IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE IN THIS SCHOOL, MISSY, YOU HAVE 
TO BE *TOUGH*!  YOU GOTTA HAVE *GUTS*!  YOU GOTTA HAVE
*MASS*!  I'D SUGGEST YOU PACK ON SOME WEIGHT THERE, 
GIRLIE, BEFORE SOMEONE 'ROUND HERE SNAPS YOU IN HALF!  A
COUPLE OF 50-MILE RUNS WITH A REFRIGERATOR STRAPPED TO 
YOUR BACK'D MAKE YOU A NEW WOMAN, I GUARANTEE IT!"

*Well, yes,* though Yuki, *a dead one.*

"WELL, YOU'RE HEALTHY AS A HORSE, 'CEPT FOR YOUR WOEFUL
LACK OF SIZE, STRENGTH, OR STAMINA!  SO GET...AH...
AH*CHOO*!...out to the waiting room and get a lollypop,
love," old lady Sybil said.  "I'll be right out with a
note for your next class."

Yuri shook her head as the nurse guided her to the door
with a wizened hand on her shoulder.

She found Leilei waiting for her in the waiting room.

"Hey, Yuri!" she called.  "Is everything all right?"

Yuri hesitated almost imperceptably.  "Yeah, I'm fine,"
she said.  "Where's Bala?"

"Oh, I unchained him to go to the, um, you know..."

Yuri cocked her head.

"The...facilities."

In spite of every intention to the contrary, Yuri found
herself trying to imagine the mechanics involved in such
a procedure.  She blushed.

"Anyway," said Leilei, "I just wanted to check on you, 
but I need to get back to chain Bala up again when he's 
through."

From down the hall came the sound of a door opening and 
shutting, then opening and shutting again very quickly,
accompanied by a screaming male voice.  Then rapid 
footsteps as a boy ran, still screaming, past the door of
the nurse's office.  The screaming and footsteps stopped
abruptly and his head popped through--*through*--the 
door.

"He's loose!" he said, and then resumed running and 
screaming.

"That's my cue," said Leilei, moving to the door.  "We'll
see you at lunch, okay?"

"Sure thing."

"Wai!"

Yuri smiled after her, then sat down to wait.  Liza put
her book down and stared at her for a moment.  "You look
kinda jittery," she said, pushing her glasses up.  "I
pro'lly should've warned you about Sybil first."

"Er, that's okay," said Yuri.  "It is a little 
disorienting, though."  She rubbed the bump on the back
of her head.

"Heh, you should've seen her when whatsisface dropped 
that bag of sneezing powder in her office.  So what's
wrong with you?" Liza asked bluntly.

"N-nothing.  Nothing, but--"

"But she pro'lly called you woefully weak, right?  She
always does that.  Although," she said, peering over the
top of her spectacles, "you *do* look a smidgen on the 
scrawny side."

Yuri scowled.  What was with these people?  She wasn't
*that* helpless, was she?  The combat instructor hadn't
seemed to think so, though Yuri was at a loss to figure
out why.

"But I'm sure you're deceptively strong, huh?  Nono, hold
on, you look more the amazing psychic powers type.  Wait,
no, monster summoner, am I right?"

"I've...never had much combat training, and--"

"Still haven't found a specialty yet?  That's okay, it 
takes some people a while.  But it's not smart to go 
around here if you don't have some way to defend 
yourself."  The witch girl looked around furtively and 
plopped her purse down on the desk.

"I can cut you a very reasonable deal on a slightly used
plasma rifle," she said, sotto voce, pulling a six-foot, 
evil-looking metal object out of her handbag.  "Four 
hundred shots per clip, adjustable power settings, and I
personally added a wide-spread fire attachment.  
Guaranteed to vaporize steel on contact!  Just stand back
before it starts condensing again."

"Er, no--"

"Or perhaps you'd prefer a Sword of Destruction?"  Liza
rooted around in her purse and pulled out a long, jagged
yellow blade with an eye-shaped jewel in the hilt.  At
least, Yuri *hoped* it was a jewel.  "Slaughter your foes
with ease, slay dragons, topple kingdoms!  You have to 
bathe it in blood every new moon, though, or it gets 
really testy."

"That's--"

"No, I can see you'd prefer a more traditional approach."

Yuri wondered if she'd ever get to finish a sentence 
again.
  
"Now, *this*," said Liza, "*this* is something special."
She held up a small, cork-stoppered vial on a string.
It was full of a bright blue liquid that sparkled very 
prettily in the light.  "Genuine toadwart potion.  Brewed
it m'self.  Totally, 100% guaranteed to impart the 
strength of fifty reasonably strong men for one full
lunar cycle."

Yuri's mouth hung open for a second.  The vial continued
to shimmer enticingly.

"Good, huh?"

"Er..."

"If you're worried about payment, I have an easy 
installment plan."

Yuri bit her lip.  "I..."

It was tempting, to part of her, at least.  Maybe if 
she'd been stronger, she could have gotten away from 
Craig, and Bala wouldn't have had to take a day's 
detention.  And no stupid jam jar would thwart her 
breakfast again.  On the other hand, she couldn't help
but feel that it would somehow be cheating.  It wouldn't
really be *her*.

"Tell you what," said Liza, fishing a much smaller vial
out of her seemingly bottomless handbag.  "Take a trial
sample, and if you're happy with the results, we can 
talk."  She pushed the little vial into Yuri's hand.
"You know where to find me."

"Er, thanks..."

"Don't mention it."

The nurse's door opened, and in a single blur of motion
Liza swept everthing else back into her purse and buried
her nose back in her copy of "Weapons of Mass Destruction
Made Easy."

"Here ya go," said Nurse Sybil, toddling over to Yuri
with a note.  Apparently her condition was some sort of
cyclical thing.  "You gots to show this to your teachers.
Have a nice day, an' don't strain yourself!"

Yuri bowed and thanked the nurse.  After they both had 
gone, Liza pulled the vial out again and admired it.  It
was probably her best, or at least most reliable, 
invention to date.

"Shame about the temporary lycanthropy," she murmured.  
"I *did* remember to mention that, didn't I?"

                          -=*=-

Yuri was starving when lunchtime finally rolled around.
She set her tray down in her customary spot across from
Leilei, who was patiently feeding chunks of meatloaf to
Bala.

"Hey, Leilei, Bala," she said.  "What did I miss in 
history?"

"Um, not too much.  Most of what we covered was in the 
textbook anyway.  Oh, you're supposed to read pages 16 
to 57 for tomorrow, too."

Yuri's jaw dropped.  "Forty pages?  On the third day of
school?"

Leilei shrugged and wiped some ketchup off the corner of
Bala's mouth.  "If you think about it, Aug-san probably
doesn't have much to do except read and think..."

Yuri sighed and prodded her meatloaf with her fork.
"Well, I'll survive, I guess.  Oh, how was detention?  I
hope it didn't last too long."

Leilei shrugged again.  "It was only an hour, but they 
put Bala in the iron maiden for the whole time."

Yuri's eyes widened.  "The iron maiden?  That's
horrible!"
  
"Yeah," Leilei nodded, spooning some banana pudding into
Bala's mouth.  She paused to wipe away a little dribble.
Yuri reached out hesitantly and, very, very lightly, 
patted Bala's shoulder.  He shifed his eye to her hand,
then her.

"Heh heh," said Yuri, rubbing the back of her head.

"It's okay," said Leilei, "that was a good stare.  I 
think."  She readied another spoonful.  "What was I 
saying? Oh yeah.  And Bala just got all bloody the day
before, too.  But I guess they couldn't put him on the
rack with his chains on.  Open wide."

"The rack?" said Yuri, aghast.

"Uh-huh.  That's what Craig got." 

Yuri made a note never, ever to get detention.

"Don't look now," Leilei whispered, "but I think you're
being watched."

"By who?"

"Yasuko."

Bala's eye was tracking something around the room behind
her.  Yuri held up a spoon on the pretense of examining 
something on it; the image was badly distorted, but she
thought she could make out the succubus's reflection.

"Hmm..."

Leilei wiped Bala's mouth again and then started on her 
own lunch.  "Why don't we go sit outside when I'm done?"
she suggested.  "Bala likes the fresh air, and we can 
get away from *her*."

Yuri agreed, and when they had put their trays away they
headed out to the small courtyard outside the cafeteria
and sat down on a heavy iron bench.

Yuri fingered the little vial in her pocket.

"Leilei?  How much of an adjustment was it?  Coming from
a normal school, I mean?"

Leilei thought for a moment.  

"It wasn't so bad.  Actually, I got teased more in normal
school, for being different, than I did in junior high
with Bala.  I don't stick out nearly as much here--I 
guess people here aren't so quick to judge by apperances.
It's not safe, for one thing."

She paused for a moment.  "Plus I had Bala to look out 
for me," she added with a grin.  Yuri smiled too.

"So who was Bala's assistant before you?"

"Oh, nobody.  He had to get by with his feet a lot--like
with Craig the other day.  But it's not easy to get 
through a whole day like that, especially when your feet
are bandaged, too."

"Wow...that must have been really tough."

This last was addressed directly to Bala.  He blinked,
perhaps because he was so used to everyone but Leilei
discussing him in third person. 

"Uh-oh," said Leilei.  "Here comes trouble."

Yasuko had followed them out of the cafeteria and was
sauntering slowly towards them.  But as she drew closer,
Yuri was surprised by her appearance.  She looked...meek.
Indeed, there was a hint of a blush in her cheeks.

She stopped in front of the bench and looked demurely at
her feet.

"Miss Kurosawa's little...rebuke...this morning got me 
thinking, and, well..."  Yasuko dug her foot into the 
ground in shy contrition.  "I just wanted to...
apologize.  I'm sorry.  Really, these little rivalries
are kind of silly, and SOOOOOO tedious, and frankly I 
just don't have the energy for it.  No sense starting 
off the year on the wrong foot.  So let's make up, okay?
Friends?" she asked, extending her right hand.

Yuri looked at Leilei.  Leilei looked at Bala.  Bala
looked at Yasuko and back to Leilei.  Leilei looked at
Yuri and shrugged.

"Um...okay?" said Yuri.

"Yay!"  Yasuko clapped and bounced twice, setting off a 
minor seizmic event in her blouse.  "Tell you what, I've
got a special surprise all set up just to show I'm 
sincere, so meet me after school at..." she leaned over
and whispered in Yuri's ear.  Yuri tried not to gag on
her excess of perfume.

"Uh, sure, I guess," said Yuri.

"Good!  Don't be late, now," Yasuko said with a wink.

Lurking in the shadows between the cafeteria and the 
institutional food supply warehouse, Ki rolled his eyes.

He nodded to an apparently empty patch of shadows.  Three
crouching, black-clad figures detached themselves from
it and dashed noiselessly after Yuri, leaping silently
from shadow to shadow.  Then he slunk off after the 
succubus; if he read her right, she'd lead him straight
to her little ambush.

Ki smirked.  One thing he'd say for Yasuko: she certainly
was an idiot.

                          -=*=-

Yasuko looked around the squash court.  She'd drawn hex
signs all around the perimeter and around the door; all
she had to do was activate them, and pretty well nothing
could enter or leave without her say so.

She smirked.  "I'd like to see that little tramp work
her way out of this one."  She raised her hand to her 
mouth and...

"OOOOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"You still lack volume."

Yasuko whirled around to see Ki standing behind the 
glass partition.  He opened the door and stepped inside
the court.

"We need to talk," he said.

"What are you doing here?"

"I overheard you talking, and you really are pitifully
easy to follow.  'The let's-be-friends schtick?'" he
said, falsetto.  "'Please.  I'm not buying it.'"

"Dammit, Ki, you'd better not try to interfere.  This is 
between the little tramp and me.  There's no place for 
you to hide in here, anyway, so don't even *think* about 
rushing to the rescue.  Don't worry," she said, narrowing
her eyes, "I'll leave her alive for you.  I just want to
teach her a valuable lesson about upstaging her betters!"

Ki seized her wrist.  "Look," he said coldly, "I'm quite
willing to be reasonable about this, but you don't seem
to be willing to listen.  You will *not* harm her.  I
will not allow it.  It's a simple statement of fact, and
one I suggest you learn to live with."

"Ooh!  Let go of me, you oaf!"  Yasuko tried to pull 
away from him, but the grip on her wrist was viselike.
She dissolved in a shower of bats and reassembled out of
Ki's immediate range.  She rubbed her wrist.  "Jerk."

"I'm sorry," Ki oozed, "I was given to understand that
you liked it rough."

Yasuko snorted as she looked him up and down.  "With you?
Ha!  You haven't got enough soul to feed a flea."

"Whatever.  Leave Yuri alone."

Yasuko turned her nose up.  "I worked hard on this little
plan, Ki Tamaida, and I'm not about to let you or anyone
else mess it up.  So you just run along and play with 
your sword like a good little boy..."

"You've been warned," Ki said darkly, before he turned 
and melted into the shadows.

Yasuko smirked.  One thing she'd say for Ki: he certainly
was an idiot.

                          -=*=-

Battle Education finally rolled around; Yuri had already
decided it was her least favorite class, even lower on 
the totem than history.  She changed into her gym clothes
and walked out of the girls' locker room, where she met
Leilei and Bala.  Bala, not having a great deal of choice
in the wardrobe department, was unchanged.

The three of them moved to the bench outside, where the 
rest of the class was chattering loudly, waiting for the 
instructor.  There was a certain amount of horseplay 
going on amongst the boys, as well.  They sat down, 
Leilei between Bala and Yuri.

Craig, also unchanged, and running late as usual, jogged
up shortly afterward, armor a-clanging, and flopped down
on the bench next to Yuri.  It sagged dramatically and
creaked in sharp protest.

He sat and panted for a moment.

"You're looking a little taller today, Craig," said
Leilei impishly.

"Aw, now don't remind me of that," Craig muttered.

"It could've been the iron maiden, you know."

Craig snorted.

"At least Bala got to go home on time," he fumed, rubbing
the back of his head.  "First that dragonturd teacher 
*forgot* about me and left me strapped to the rack, and 
*then* when the janitor finally came in I got in trouble
for being in a 'nonapproved building' after six o'clock."

"Huh?  What happens at six o'clock?" asked Yuri.

"*I* don't know, but he had a real bug up his butt about
it.  And then to top it all off, when I got home, Ma went
psycho on me for being so late.  He'd better not forget
about me today."

"Well, if you hadn't been so intent on showing off..."

"All *right*, all *right*, I'm *sorry*.  Sheesh.  It was
nothing personal, you know!"

"You tried to kill me!"

"Uh...yeah.  What about it?"

Yuri stared at him.  

Just then, the battle instructor came out of the athletic
building, nearly hidden under a massive pile of wooden 
practice weapons.  When he reached a spot in front of the
benches, he flung the heap down and dusted off his hands.
He cleared his throat.

"All right, listen up, y'little maggots!  Yesterday 
proved that you're completely unready to handle offensive
tactics, so today we're going to take it nice and slow 
and work on basic defense!"

The class groaned.

"None of that, now.  Next time you're up against a 
ticked-off magical girl or some hulking knight with a 
+4 Sword of Happy-Schmappy, you'll be glad Coach 
Truncheon took the time to beat you senseless!  And I 
remind you that I will be a lot more forgiving than they
would be, because *I* get my paycheck docked if I kill
one of you!

"When I call your name, you will proceed to the chalk
circle beside me.  You will remain within the circle
until you are dismissed.  You will defend yourself 
against my attacks for five minutes or until I beat you
senseless, which, if yesterday was any indication, won't
take too long.

"Now..."  Coach Truncheon consulted the class roster.
"Venefik the Unmentionable!  You're up!"

The class was silent.  Someone coughed discreetly.

"Oh, right, the kid who blew himself up with a sandwich
bag...  Lessee, then.  Balabalalde!  You're up!"

Bala rose slowly and shambled over to the circle chalked
into the dirt.  He sank into a cautious crouch.  Coach 
Truncheon selected a long wooden sword from the pile, 
took a drag on his cigar, and dropped into a battle 
stance.

"You can do it, Bala!" Leilei shouted.

The coach opened with a series of rapid jabs, which Bala
nimbly dodged, and a low sweep that he jumped over.  The
coach launched into a series of wide slashes.  Bala 
caught the edge of the blade on his chains, as he had 
done with Craig's sword, but Truncheon also aimed a kick
at his legs.  Bala fell.  Leilei gasped as the coach 
raised the sword high for a finishing blow.

Bala, however, flung his legs up over his head, launching
himself into the air.  Twisting sharply as he came down,
he managed to wrap a loose chain around the blade.  With
a quick tug, he pulled it out of the coach's grasp.

"Go, Bala!" Yuri cheered.

"Waiwai!"

"Not bad, I guess," Craig said offhandedly.

With his left foot bracing the hilt against the ground
and the blade still caught in the chain, Bala brought his
right foot sharply down on it, snapping it in two.  The 
class gave a collective gasp.  After a moment fraught 
with tension, Coach Truncheon nodded curtly.  
"Dismissed," he said.  Bala shuffled back to his seat
next to Leilei.

"MAIMSWORTH!" the coach bellowed.  "You're up!"  He 
tossed aside the blade broken blade he used on Bala and
selected a larger one.  A much larger one.

"Aw, man, this is gonna *suck*..."

                          -=*=-

After the displays of wanton carnage had ceased--
fortunately, time had run out before Yuri's turn came
up--and Yuri had changed out of her gym clothes, she 
met with Leilei and Bala again.

"Yuri, are you really going to meet Yasuko?" Leilei
asked.  "I don't like this.  Something smells fishy."

Yuri was in fact sorely tempted just to go home and
forget about the whole thing.  "I think I have to...  She
seemed sincere, at least, though it *is* a little wierd.
And I'm afraid if I don't show up, she might get offended
and go back to pestering me..."

Leilei sighed.  Then she brightened a little.  "I know,"
she said.  "What if Bala and I go with you?  We'll wait
for you, and if she tries anything funny, you can call
us!  Is that okay, Bala?"

Bala blinked.

"Wai!  Okay, Yuri?"

Yuri smiled.  "Okay," she agreed.  "I'd like that."

The three of them made their way over to the science 
building.  "She said to meet her on the roof," said Yuri.
"I wonder how I get up there?"

"There're probably stairs on the top floor somewhere."

"Hmm.  I guess we won't know if we don't look, right?"

They eventually found the stairs behind a door marked 
"Employees Only."

"I get the feeling we shouldn't be going up here," Yuri
said.

"We'll wait here and keep watch."

"Okay."  Yuri looked up the staircase.  It was long and
very dark, the only light coming from the open door and
a single, dim, exposed lightbulb hanging above the exit
door.  The door itself was at the end of a tiny landing.
It was heavy and painted the ever-popular pea-soup green,
and had a steel handle with a serious, no-nonsense lock.

Yuri gulped and started up the stairs.  When she turned 
the handle and opened the door, she could swear she felt
someone dart past her onto the roof.

"Don't be silly," she murmured to herself, and stepped 
out into the open air.

Yuri heard a familiar nasty falsetto snicker from above.
The door slammed shut behind her, and a ring of symbols 
around the roof started glowing unpleasantly.

"You know, I really ought to be on the stage...  You 
won't be able to duck out on me this time, little 
schoolgirl trollop.  Not, at least, unless you feel like
taking a header over the parapet..."

Yuri looked up.  Yasuko was perched atop the lintel, 
wearing an evil smile and a great deal of leather.

The sound of Yasuko's not-quite-roaring bitch laugh came
floating downstairs.

Leilei looked to Bala.  "Oh, that's not good."  She 
dashed up the stairs after Yuri and grabbed the handle.
She struggled futilely with it for a moment, but it was
quite definitely locked.  Bala slid silently into place
behind her.  She looked around to him.

"Bala, can't you do anything?"

Bala blinked placidly at her.

"Please?  Please, Bala?  For me?"

Bala turned and slowly started back down the stairs.

"Bala?  Don't go, Bala, *please*!" Leilei pleaded.  "Yuri
might need help!"

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he turned,
paused, and stared fixedly at the little girl.

"Please?"

His eye shifted to the door.  He took one step back, and
then began charging up the stairs, chains trailing
behind.  Leilei flattened herself against the wall as he
crested the landing, sailing past her and crashing into
the door with a monstrous THUD.

Bala reeled away from the door, eyes--presumably both 
of them, anyway--crossed.

Leilei facepalmed.  "Oh, Bala, why'd you have to use your
injured shoulder?"

Bala shook his head and backed up for another attempt.

Up on the roof, Yasuko laughed as she heard the door
shudder under the blow.  "Hahaha!  It's no use!  You'll
just have to wait your turn!" she called.  "The tramp is
all mine now!"

"Why do you call me a tramp?  What did I ever do to you?"
Yuri demanded.

"Hah!  Hah!  You come prancing in here, with your famous
father, and *embarass* me in front of my classmates?  You
try to *upstage* me, *me*, in the first week of class?
And you don't know what you *did*?  I don't THINK so!"

Left hand on hip, right hand next to mouth...

"OOOHOHOHO--don't even *think* of trying to show off!--
HOHOHO!"

Yuri sighed.  The girl was obviously nuts.

She was also armed.  Yasuko uncoiled the whip hanging
from her hip and cracked it ominously.  "Let's play,"
she taunted, fluttering just over Yuri's head level.

"Eep!" Yuri cried as Yasuko targeted her legs.  She 
scrambled madly out of the way.  Fortunately, the roof
was a mess, liberally littered with old junk that no one
wanted to bother storing properly.  She ducked behind an
old wooden crate.  Exposure to the elements had not been
kind to it, however, and it shattered easily with one
crack of Yasuko's whip, sending mushy splinters flying
everywhere.

She skittered away frantically, but tripped over a coil
of wet rope.  As she fell, she felt the hard shape of the
little vial press into her leg.  She'd completely 
forgotten about it.

She stood up quickly and lunged to one side as Yasuko 
swooped low to attack.  She took a clumsy swing as the
succubus passed by, and missed completely.

"Hahaha!  Pathetic!"

Yuri frowned and dug the vial out of her pocket.  Maybe
it wasn't really *cheating*, per se, when a mad succubus
was cracking a whip over your head.

She was spared the moral dilemma, though, when Yasuko 
threw a loose piece of roofing tile at her.  It grazed 
her hand, knocking the vial out of her hand.

"Well," said Yasuko, touching down briefly and snatching
it up.  "What have we here?  A good luck charm, perhaps?
Or could it be that the little tramp's reputation comes
from a bottle?  OOOHOHOHOO!"  She launched into another 
barrage of whip strikes, slowly backing Yuri into a 
corner.  If only she had something to defend herself
with...

A length of plastic pipe fell from...somewhere, and 
clattered at her feet.  Yuri picked it up.  It was far 
too light to be of any use as a weapon, but maybe...

Yasuko growled and readied her whip again.  She zoomed
forward, ready to strike.

Yuri braced herself.  Desperately she held the pipe in
front of her face.  The end of the whip coiled around it;
taking a cue from Bala, she yanked hard on the pipe.
Yasuko squealed in surprise as she was pulled downward.
Yuri yanked again and the whip came out of Yasuko's hand,
tumbling over the edge of the roof, along with the pipe.

"All right, *fine*," Yasuko snarled.  "You're still 
outclassed."  She rose high overhead and went into a 
steep dive, aiming directly for Yuri's head.  Yuri dove
to one side; Yasuko flapped her wings in an effort to 
brake.  She bumped into  a stack of old paint cans, which
tottered briefly, seemed to regain their balance, and
then toppled over onto her.

"OW!" she yelled.  She rocketed skyward, sending paint 
cans raining down all over the roof.  "That's IT," she
rasped, her fists beginning to glow ever so faintly.

*Well,* thought Yuri, *it was a nice three days...*

Yasuko prepared for another dive.  "Now, get ready to
DI--huh?"  The succubus rocked sharply to one side, and
her left boot came off as though pulled.  She spun 
around and flew lower, searching the rooftop.  "All
right, who else is up here?" she demanded.  Show 
yourself!  I demand to know who is standing in my WAY!"

Summoning up all her courage, Yuri picked up a loose 
piece of plank and snuck up behind her.  Rather timidly,
she brought the plank around and bonked Yasuko in the 
back of the head with it.

"Ow!" the succubus cried, whipping around in midair.
"Why, you little--"

Something else ricocheted off the back of her skull
--hard.  Her face assumed an expression of extreme
puzzlement that exactly matched Yuri's and, very slowly,
she fell over.

Yuri stared at her.  Around the roof, the signs chalked 
on the floor flickered and died.  After a moment's 
debate, she picked up the little vial from Yasuko's 
outstretched hand and pocketed it again.

Behind her, the door finally burst open, the massive
deadbolt taking a chunk of the jamb with it.  Bala leaned
against it, breathing hard.

"I knew you could do it!" Leilei chirped.  "Oh, poor
Bala, I hope you get some time to rest and heal up this
weekend...  Hey Yuri, are you okay?"

Yuri blinked a few times and looked down at herself.
"Uh.  Huh.  I...I think so, yeah..."

"What happened?" Leilei asked, staring at the fallen form
of Yasuko.

Yuri cast about the roof for any other signs of life.
"I'm not quite sure," she said.

"Well, it's getting pretty late.  We should get out of 
here before somebody finds us."

Yuri nodded.  The three of them left, shutting the door--
trying to, anyway--behind them.  Yasuko, meanwhile,
slumbered peacefully on...

After a while, a black-clad figure slipped out of the 
shadows.  It looked at Yasuko for a moment, then dipped
a finger in a small puddle of spilled paint and carefully
drew a little goatee and a curly mustache on her face.
Then it leapt into the air, did a backflip, and plunged
unconcernedly over the edge of the building. 

Some time later, Yasuko's eyes opened to the unpleasant
sight of Vice Principal Akurei looming over her.

"Miss...Wareme, was it?" he asked softly.  "Do you know
what time it is?"

"Huh?  Wha'?  No..." Yasuko slurred.

"It's after six o'clock."  He grinned, slowly and 
terribly.

Yasuko's eyes widened in dawning terror.

                          -=*=-

When, after twenty minutes of lurking in the squash 
court, there was no sign of either Yuri or Yasuko, Ki 
began to suspect he'd been had.  Perhaps he'd
underestimated her acting abilities....

Ki moved toward the door.  The hex symbols flared to life
as he reached for the doorpull.  A shock ran through his
arm, flinging him hard against the serving wall.

"Little winged bitch..." he muttered to the tweeting 
bluebirds circling his head.  Then the world went dark.

When he finally came to, the hex signs had gone dark.
He struggled to his feet and shook his head.  Then the 
world went dark again.  He made a small inquisitive
noise.

The lights came back on, and he heard Coach Truncheon's
voice say, "Whut?  Who's there?"  The coach's head 
followed his voice around the corner.  He checked his 
watch.

"Well, well," he said, grabbing a racquet and a ball from
a rack on the wall.  "Look who's here.  And not wearing
protective eyewear, either."

                          -=*=-

"Thanks for walking me home," Yuri said, as they rounded
the corner onto her street.  "You didn't have to do
that."

"Oh, it's no problem," Leilei said.  "You don't live very
far out of our way at all."

Yuri looked down the street.  "There's my house," she 
said, pointing.  She could make out the slightly
indistinct, light-killing form of her father on the front
porch.

"You're late, Yuri," he rumbled, as she led her friends
up the front walk.  "Your mother was starting to get 
worried."

"Sorry, Dad," she apologized.  "I kinda got caught up 
in something at school."

"Well, try to be more punctual in the future.  Now, who
are your friends?"

"Oh!  This is Leilei," said Yuri.  "Leilei, this is my
dad."

"Wow!" said Leilei.  "Are you really the terrible 
Hellstorm?  I've heard so much about you!"

"Well, some people *do* call me that," Troi said
modestly.

"It's an honor!"

"And this is Balabalala...Babalablada..."

"Balabalade," Leilei said helpfully.

Troi shifted his burning gaze to Bala, who met it 
indifferently.  This continued for several minutes.

"Uh, Dad?" Yuri said.  "Bala doesn't talk."

"...Oh."

Bala blinked.

"Well," Leilei said," I'd better be getting Bala back
home before it gets much later.  I'll see you tomorrow,
Yuri!"

"Bye!" she called after them.  "Hey Dad, what's for
dinner?"

"You'll have to ask your mother."

"Okay!"

Troi chuckled to himself as Yuri stepped inside.  "I'm
glad my daughter's finally making some *normal* friends,"
he thought.

                          -=*=-

Author's Notes:

Whew.  This is the second-longest non-final Impro chapter
I've ever done ^_^

Major thanks go to Mads, without whose suggestions this 
chapter would have been much, much shorter.  He also 
wrote the history class scene--I just tweaked it a bit
to fit the rest of the chapter.

Thanks also go to StorytellerSJK and Scott Johnson for 
prereading and feedback, particularly on Liza and Sybil.
I was imagining Liza as a sort of Washu/Lucca/Deneb the
Witch combo, but there's plenty of wiggle room...

One of Mads' concerns was that Ki not get *too* much 
airtime, but so far all he's really done is show up, 
mutter portentous one-liners to himself, and dissapear.
If that went on forever, it'd just get silly.  I still
don't have a *clue* what his Big Bad Plan is, though ^_^;
After their rough treatment in this ep, maybe he and 
Yasuko could take a little time off to lick their wounds?

Good taste prevents me making the obvious followup.

Please note that Yuri won through a combination of wits
and illegal assists.  She presumably has a lot of power,
but no idea what it is yet, or how to use it.

For anyone who's never played squash, a squash ball is 
essentially the exact opposite of a superball.  Drop one
off the top of the Empire State Building and it'll 
bounce maybe two inches, tops.  So you've really gotta 
whack the little suckers, and you definitely don't want
to be standing in the path of one.  Trust me.  Stupid
P.E. distribution requirements...

Anyway, C&C to mervynwonderslug@yahoo.com or
keith_knop@yahoo.com or the MB.

                          -=*=-

Two battered bodies sprawled in the exam room, awaiting
the arrival of the nurse.

"Creep!  This is all your fault," Yasuko sulked, 
clutching her ribcage in agony.

"Oh, shut up," snarled Ki, cradling his sword arm and 
glaring at her with his one non-blackened eye.  "I gave
you fair warning."

"Oooh...  You weren't supposed to have other people
watching her, you, you, you DOLT.  You weren't supposed
to have a backup plan!"

"Well, neither were you!"

"..."

"..."

They glowered at one another for several long minutes.

"...so who got you?" Yasuko finally asked.

"...Truncheon.  You?"

"...Akurei, the scaly bastard."

"Hmph.  Serves you right."

"Creep."

"Slut."

The door opened.  "Now children," pouted Nurse Sybil.
"Healing comes first, and then you can resolve this 
*silly* little argument."  She winked slowly and pushed
them both back on the examination table.

"Now," she said, cocking her hips, "which one of you
should I *examine* first?"

Yasuko eyed the nurse's overflowing uniform.  "Ooh," she
moaned, "I'm in *such* pain...you'd better do me first."

Nurse Sybil smiled at her and slowly pulled on a pair of
gloves.  She paused with her fingers just above the first
button of Yasuko's blouse.

Then she sneezed.