Yuri Mikagami rubbed at her eyes as she awoke. The sky outside was cloudy and grey; a distant rumble of thunder indicated that it would be a particularly gloomy day. Which seemed fitting, the teenager thought as she ran her hands through her short hair. Today she was supposed to defend the honor of her school singlehandedly at a fencing match. Of course, this presented a slight problem...being the team equipment manager, Yuri had never actually learned anything about fencing. The one time she'd held anything remotely resembling a sword was in Coach Truncheon's class, and she still felt she'd only survived the experience through sheer dumb luck. Since it was still fairly early, and classes were going to start a half hour later than normal in the wake of the previous day's attacks at school, Yuri shuffled sleepily into her slippers and padded off to take care of her morning ablutions. Several minutes later, freshly scrubbed and dressed but still not entirely awake, Yuri ambled downstairs to the breakfast table, calling a muted greeting to her parents as she did so. After she'd seated herself at the table, her mother appeared from the kitchen, smiling. "Yuri-chan," she said, "I just want you to know I'll be rooting for you this afternoon, even though I won't be able to actually come and watch your match." "Thanks, Mom," the teenager replied dully, spreading toast crumbs on the lid of a jar of bloodberry jam. "Oh, and dear...I have a little present for you," the cheerful woman with the outmoded hairstyle said. Yuri blinked as her mother wandered into the hall and rummaged around in a closet, emerging after a few moments with a long, slender box under her arm. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed her father recoil slightly, his red eyes flaring. "I used to be on my high school fencing team too," said Yuri's mother as she laid the package on the table. "In fact, the school you'll be competing against today is my own alma mater." "Wow! I never knew you went to Sakura Art, Mom!" Yuri said, wide-eyed. At her mother's insistence, she began to unwrap the package, revealing a long, thin black case. "Since you'll be fighting your first match today, I thought you might like to have my old sword. I won two championships with that sword, and more duels than I can remember." Her eyes twinkled as she reminisced. Yuri snapped open the latches on the case, not noticing that her father had quite suddenly moved a fair distance from the table. Inside the velvet-lined case lay one of the most beautiful and lavish swords Yuri had ever seen. It was a rapier, ideal for fencing and, as she quickly discovered, quite light. The sheath was some sort of light metal, or perhaps plastic, and colored a bright lavender; it reminded Yuri of candies for some strange reason. The hilt featured a large, smooth heart-shaped stone of similar color and composition, flanged by intricately tooled wings of the purest gold and silver. The silver grip had a thin band of gold decor spiralled around it, and one side was covered with a heart-shaped velvet handguard, held in place by a brass frame. The star-shaped pommel, also brass, gleamed brightly with a tiny, engraved seal Yuri didn't recognize. As she drew the blade from the sheath, Yuri gasped. Even in the darkness of the Mikagami dining room, the bright silvery blade seemed to shine with an inner light. "It's...it's beautiful," she breathed softly as she slid the sword back into its sheath and replaced it in the case. "Mom, I...I don't know what to say." "No need to say anything, dear. Just use it well and do your best." Her mother smiled, tears threatening to brim in her clear blue eyes. "Oh...and be sure to keep it in that case when you're not using it." She glanced at Troi Mikagami, who was shuddering a bit at the moment. "If your father is any indication, a lot of your classmates and teachers may be a bit allergic to the sword." "Allergic...to a sword?" Yuri blinked. Then she glanced at the time. "Ack! I'd better hurry..." Wolfing down the rest of her breakfast, she hugged her mother, tried to hug her father, grabbed her bookbag and her new sword, and dashed off to face another new day... **************************************************** Dark Heart High Netherworlds Educational Institution For The Universal Propagation of Evil Started by Mads This Chapter by: Some Lurker guy Chapter Fourteen: Exposition! **************************************************** "Whatcha got in the case, Yuri-chan?" Leilei asked as Yuri arrived a full two minutes before the bell and took her seat. "My new fencing sword," Yuri said, smiling brightly but with obvious nervousness. "Oooh! Can I see?" Leilei asked excitedly. "Sure, but maybe it'd better wait until lunch," Yuri replied. "Must be tough," an unwelcome voice drifted into their conversation. "Knowing you've got to represent the entire school this afternoon, all by yourself." Yuri turned in her desk and scowled. "I seem to recall you helping that ninja knock Ki-kun out," she said to her rival. Yasuko smirked. "It was purely unintentional, but...I do admit I am rather pleased with the end results." Rising from her desk, the succubus crossed over to where Yuri sat. "So...let's see what sort of pathetic little toy sword you've brought to defend our dear school with, shall we?" Before Yuri could protest, Yasuko had snatched up the black case and was popping the latches. "Hmm, just as I thought...looks like...a...toy..." As Yasuko picked up the sword, a strange, dull look flitted across her face, her eyes becoming blank and glassy. Yuri siezed the opportunity to retrieve the sword, and gripped it tightly as the demoness swayed on her feet. Blinking, Yuri waved a hand in front of Yasuko's face. "Ano...you in there? Yoo-hoo..." Yasuko blinked, and her lips twitched. After a moment, she fixed Yuri with a deep, penetrating, serious stare, and said: "I want to bake cookies." Yuri, Leilei, and Bala blinked. "You...um...what?" Yuri asked. "I want to bake cookies," the succubus repeated. Kurosawa-sensei finally arrived, and frowned a bit at the scene before her. "Why are you students not in your seats and paying attention?" Yasuko rushed up to the teacher's desk. "Sensei, may I be excused? I need to bake cookies." The teacher blinked. "Miss Wareme. I have never, in all my years of teaching, heard a student use such an utterly ridiculous excuse to attempt to get out of my class. Surely your junior high instructors taught you better lying skills than that..." "But...I really need to bake cookies," the succubus replied. Kurosawa-sensei scowled. "Miss Wareme, I'm warning you. Do not test my patience...sit down." Yasuko sighed, and took her seat. She immediately began doodling cookies in her notebook. As the teacher glanced around the room, her eyes alighted on the sword, still sitting on Yuri's desk, forgotten in the wake of Yasuko's odd behavior. "Miss Mikagami...WHAT on EARTH is *THAT* monstrosity?" Yuri blinked. "This? It's my sword, for fencing...my Mom gave it to me..." "PUT THAT THING AWAY THIS INSTANT!" Veins stood out on the normally calm teacher's forehead. "H-hai, sensei!" Yuri quickly returned the sword to its case and snapped it shut. Seeming to calm down, Kurosawa-sensei's normal scowl returned to her face. "Miss Mikagami...did Miss Wareme happen to come in contact with that...weapon at any time this morning?" "Ahh...hai, just before you walked in." The teacher sighed. "That explains it, then. Miss Wareme, you're excused...go to the nurse's office. NOT," she admonished, "the home ec room." Yasuko seemed crestfallen. "I can't bake cookies in the nurse's office..." "Miss Mikagami, I want you to report to the principal's office after class. I'll send along a note with you." "Umm...hai, sensei." Yuri sighed. *What did I do wrong?* At the end of class, when she took the note from Kurosawa-sensei, she asked, "Sensei? What...what happened? I mean, what's wrong with the sword?" "Principal Amakusa will explain it all to you, as if you didn't know already," the teacher replied in a frosty tone, levelling a glare at Yuri. "Now, you'd best hurry along." Leilei was waiting in the hall with Bala. "Yuri-chan? What happened?" "I'm not sure," Yuri replied, frowning. "And the note's sealed. I guess I'll find out...when I see the principal." She swallowed nervously. "Right. Well...um...good luck," Leilei said, giving a half-hearted wave. Bala blinked once at Yuri, then walked off after her. Arriving at the principal's office, Yuri steeled her nerves and went inside. ******* "Mikagami-kun...I'm curious as to how you came into possession of that...*sword*." Once Yuri had given the principal the note, and he'd read it, his demeanor had become graver than usual. She noticed a certain tone of disdain in Amakusa-sensei's voice which she had never heard before, and he was now fixing her with a dark, piercing glare. "My mom gave it to me this morning," she said nervously. The principal arched an eyebrow. "Your mother gave it to you, you say?" Yuri nodded. "As a present. It's her old sword from when she was on her school's fencing team." "I...see." Amakusa steepled his fingers, frowning thoughtfully. "Mikagami-kun, might I ask what school your mother attended?" "Sakura Art," Yuri replied, a bit confused. "Why?" The principal seemed about to say something, then shook his head slightly. "No reason, just curious. Very well then. You may return to class." He paused. "But I advise you to keep that sword in its case until the fencing match. It won't do to have any more incidents like the one with Wareme-kun." Yuri couldn't be sure, but Amakusa seemed almost...amused at that thought. Nodding uncertainly, Yuri left the principal's office and headed back for class. *I hope I didn't get Mom in trouble for giving me her sword...* ******* Nurse Sybil poked and prodded the succubus with various instruments that looked ridiculously large in her chibi hands. "You don't seem to be sick or anything." "I feel fine," Yasuko said. "I really want to bake some cookies right now." "Hmm. Not exactly normal for a succubus," Sybil said. "Did anything unusual happen to you in class this morning?" "Just had a dizzy spell when I was looking at that bitch Yuri's sword. But I feel fine, really. Can't I go bake some cookies now?" Sybil jumped down off the stool she'd been standing on and shook her head at her patient. "There's something seriously wrong with your head. You'd better go see the counselor." "Will the counselor let me bake some cookies?" The chibified nurse sweatdropped. "I...yeah, I'm sure she will." ******* The rest of the day passed swiftly, and far too early for her liking, Yuri was in the Dark Heart gymnasium. Principal Amakusa was waiting for her. "Mikagami-kun," he greeted. "Ah...good afternoon, sensei," she replied. "The Sakura Art team will be arriving shortly, as will the spectators from both schools. You have a few moments to select your gear and warm up for the match." "Ah...hai," she said, bowing. "I expect you to do well, Mikagami-kun," the principal said gravely. "If your efforts are not above and beyond your limitations, I will be most displeased." "I'll...try my best!" Yuri said weakly. Once the principal wandered off into the bleachers, Yuri unlocked the equipment room and walked over to the fencing club's armor racks. There wasn't much in the way of spare equipment, as the team's old equipment manager had been killed in an accident the previous year, and all the equipment had been destroyed with him. However, Yuri did manage to find some light, slightly rusted chain mail that fit over her uniform; it was flat black and had stains on it which appeared to be blood and...other things. Still, it was her size and it was the only thing available, so she put it on, grabbed her sword, and headed out onto the gym floor. Already she could hear people beginning to arrive, so she took a few practice swings with her sword, steeling her nerves and preparing herself for whatever might happen. ******* The first thing Yuri noticed about the Sakura Art fencing team was that they were all girls. The second thing she noticed was that nearly all of them were blondes. There was one girl in the mix with bluish hair, two brown-haired girls, and a girl with pink hair shot through with red streaks, but the rest of them were all sporting manes of gold and cornsilk. In some of the strangest styles, too...one of them had her hair tied up in a circle of five small buns atop her head, one had four individual topknot ponytails at different angles, another wore her ankle-length hair tied into highly improbable rabbit ears, and yet another favored long, springy curls. The Sakura Art uniform was a navy blue seifuku with pink skirts, kerchiefs, and trimming, white socks, and shiny black shoes. Yuri couldn't help but note that all the girls had added variations to the standard uniform: a mixture of funny gloves, brightly-colored chokers, jeweled hair ornaments, tiaras, and some other odd trappings served to further individualize the Sakura Art fencing team. None of them had thought to bring any armor or padding that she could see; in fact, their swords seemed to be missing as well. The blonde with the rabbit-ear hairstyle stepped forward, examining Yuri curiously. "Are you the Dark Heart High fencing captain?" she asked. "Errr...no," Yuri stammered. "See, there was a little accident yesterday, and...well...I'mtheonlymemberoftheteamwho'sconscious." The Sakura Art girl blinked. "I...see. Umm...are you sure you want to do this, then? I mean..." "Yeah. I mean, I gotta uphold the honor of my school and all, plus I think they're gonna stuff me in the iron maiden or tie me to a rack or drop me in a pit with a tentacle demon if I don't." "Oh...kay. Well then..." Turning to address her team, the Sakura Art captain called out, "Everyone get ready for the match!" In a fluid motion, the twelve girls all withdrew sparkling wands, pens, and lipsticks from their pockets and raised them, shouting discordantly. The gym was flooded with a blinding light, and when it abated, there was a greater amount of variance in the uniforms these girls were wearing. The navy blue and pink had been replaced by other pastel colors and more thickly padded seifuku which seemed to accentuate the figures of those wearing them rather significantly. Of more immediate concern to Yuri, each of the girls now possessed swords of varying lengths and types. The team captain gestured dramatically at Yuri with her sword. "Sakura Art stands for love, justice, and beauty! Dark Heart High is an unholy den of evil! Captain of the Sakura Art fencing squad, I'm Poppy Princess Cherry Cherry Bang-Bang! For the honor of Sakura Art, we will defeat you!" Yuri sweatdropped. ******* The official for the match was an upperclassman from Zeros Academy, the school for chaotic neutrals. Neither Dark Heart nor Sakura Art trusted the Zeros students, but it was a mutual distrust, which made Zeros the logical choice to referee various sporting events. "Since there is only one member of the Dark Heart Team able to compete," the referee said, smiling benevolently at Yuri, "I will not allow all twelve members of the Sakura Art team to compete." He turned to the team captain. "Please choose six of your team to participate." *Six against one?* Yuri wondered, nerves beginning to get the better of her. *I don't even know if I can fight one person, let alone six!* Once Cherry Bang-Bang had made her selections, the referee explained the rules. "Basically," he said, "try not to kill each other, or maim each other permanently." He opened one eye. "Let the match begin!" ******* The first member of the Sakura Art team Yuri found herself facing had a very sparkly leotard covered with sequins and spangles, silk and lace gloves and toe shoes, and a barely-existent miniskirt which was curiously longer in front than it was in back. As she pirouetted into place on the gym floor, Yuri noticed (with no small degree of embarassment) that the girl's skirt seemed to stop somewhere around the small of her back, showing off her skimpy little panties (covered with heart-shaped pink sparkles) and a generous amount of her shapely derriere. Yuri watched her warily as she went through a complex series of ballet manuevers. "Nice to meet ya!" the dancing magical girl said as she finally stopped dancing, poised on one delicate toe. "I'm Fairy Princess Too Cute Butt Dancer! My butt's too cute," she giggled, "and I'm gonna kick yours!" "...," Yuri intelligently replied. The scantily-clad magical girl whipped her shiny pink fencing foil at Yuri, and trails of sparklies floated off it. "En garde!" she giggled. Yuri drew her sword...which immediately elicited many gasps from both the Dark Heart spectators and the Sakura Art team. Not particularly noticing this, Yuri waited for the dancer girl to make a move. And move she did...erupting into a flurry of pirouettes, Too Cute Butt Dancer zipped across the floor toward her, her bright pink foil flashing every which way. Yuri yelped in panic, diving out of the way, but the magical girl was on her, whipping her with her blade... Yuri lashed out blindly with her sword, knocking the pink foil high into the air. It clattered to the ground several feet away, and Butt Dancer skittered to a halt, nearly losing her balance. "Oh NO!" she wailed. Yuri interposed herself between the other girl and her foil, feeling a lot more confident. "Give up and I'll go easy on you!" she called, trying to sound like some of her classmates and teammates would certainly sound. (Of course, being evil, they would most likely promise a quick, painless death, but Yuri thought that was just a little too much for a fencing match.) The magical girl looked uncertain and a little frightened. Suddenly, a deep voice boomed from the Sakura Art bleachers: "The forces of evil can never overcome the forces of good, Fairy Princess Too Cute Butt Dancer! Do not lose your spirit in the face of defeat!" Butt Dancer's eyes turned to little hearts. "Nutcracker Kamen-sama!" A man wearing a ballet costume and a Nutcracker mask stood in the bleachers, cape billowing dramatically in a nonexistent wind. "The sword of my love will thrust to the core of this evil girl!" he orated. Yuri turned red. "ECCHI!" Nutcracker Kamen reached into his cape, and produced a very large sword, which he tossed to the ballet girl. Butt Dancer caught it, but stumbled a bit under its weight. "Thank you, Nutcracker Kamen-sama! I won't let you down!" "Ahem," Yuri said politely. The magical girl turned around, and yelped as a swordpoint was tapped against her throat. "I believe I win," she said sweetly. The Dark Heart spectators erupted into mad cackling. Leilei cheered. ******* "Hmm. She's good," Cherry Bang-Bang said. "We'll have to be careful with this one." "Anou...Cherry-chan," one of the girls began uncertainly. "Something's not quite right about that girl." "Yeah...her sword looks like something one of...one of our kind would have," complained one of the brown-haired girls. "It's just cheap paint. A trick. They're trying to psych us out." She checked her roster, not paying much attention as Too Cute Butt Dancer plopped down on the benches, sniffling miserably. "Kauko, you're up next." "Yooosh'!" said the other brown-haired girl, pumping a fist. "I'll put this little slut in her place!" ******* Yuri felt a little worried about her next opponent. Unlike the dainty, delicate, and mostly useless Fairy Princess Too Cute Butt Dancer, this girl was tall, athletic, and looked more than a little dangerous. Her outfit, a heavily modified bridal gown, was mostly black and white, with stylish hi-tops and a skirt marginally longer than the ballet girl's. Short white wings with black spots were attached to the back of her bodice. Her chest seemed on the verge of erupting from its confinement at any moment, bouncing alarmingly with every step she took. She also had one incredibly huge sword. Striking a pose (*bouncebounce*), she pointed her sword dramatically at Yuri (*bouncebouncebounce*). "Love is the sweet, nourishing milk of life! Justice curdles the sour whey of evil! The cream of Sakura Art, I'm Milky Angel Marriage Moo!" She thrust forward her chest, which suddenly reminded Yuri of a sack of basketballs. "So you're...supposed to be a cow?" Yuri guessed. Marriage Moo fumed. "You're gonna hurt for that!" Wasting no time, she dashed at Yuri, her oversized sword flashing dangerously in every direction. With a startled yelp, Yuri backpedaled, trying to keep from being beheaded by the enraged magical girl. For over two minutes, Yuri merely fled from the heavily-endowed Marriage Moo. Just as she was beginning to wear down, however, it happened...the magical girl overextended herself, and Yuri saw an opening. She slashed out at the other girl's chest... The spectators jumped at the loud, explosive *pop*. That sound was followed by a wet, raspy whine, as though air was being let out of a balloon. Yuri seemed as confused as the spectators...until something landed on the ground between her and her opponent with a sickly *plop*. It was a burst inflatable bra. Milky Angel Marriage Moo gave a strangled cry, and fled from the gym, tears streaming down her face. Yuri curiously prodded the wonderbra with her sword, but it seemed unlikely to pose any further threat. "Ah...Dark Heart wins the match by forfeit," the referee said, looking on with amusement. Yuri just blinked. *This is almost embarassing,* she thought. ******* "Okay...now things are starting to get serious," Poppy Princess Cherry Cherry Bang-Bang said, furiously scratching on her clipboard. "We're down by two and we haven't even put a scratch on her yet. This girl may be more trouble than I thought." "Relax, I'll put her in her place," said a girl with honey-blond hair and a huge pink muffin-shaped hat. "Okay, Koko-chan, take her down," Cherry Bang-Bang said. ******* "Wai! You're doing good, Yuri-chan!" Leilei cheered between matches. "I think you're gonna win!" Yuri blushed. "I've just been getting lucky, Leilei-chan. If that cow girl's bra hadn't popped--" her blush deepened-- "she would have creamed me." "That was pretty sneaky, by the way," Leilei said. "How did you know she had falsies?" "I didn't," Yuri said, rubbing the back of her head. "Oops, gotta run. Bye!" ******* Yuri was beginning to wonder if all Sakura Art students were brain-damaged or something. This was the fifth member of the fencing team she'd faced, and the third outrageously silly speech she'd heard. And the NAMES they were using... Noodle Honey Muffin Maiden, who'd had a sword technique that made her blade limp like a noodle yet able to cut like a wire, had been a tough opponent. Slave Baby Lucky Spear had seemed more concerned with dancing around lamely and trying to sing while she fought, and had been relatively easy to beat. Power Angel Posey Pink had been more of a challenge, as she had actually put up a decent fight, unlike the others. In the end, Yuri had only won during the confusion created when Posey Pink's sword suddenly started beeping and demanded to be fed. Now, Yuri felt nervous as she was about to do battle with the captain of the Sakura Art fencing team, Poppy Princess Cherry Cherry Bang-Bang. The magical girl had grown increasingly tense during the competition, and the look she gave Yuri now told the Dark Heart High student that this match wasn't going to be much fun at all. "When this competition began," Cherry Bang-Bang said softly, "I didn't take you as much of a threat. You look like you're a freshman, and haven't even trained. But...I was mistaken. You're clearly a very skilled warrior. While I respect your abilities, you are still an evil creature, and I must dispose of you." "Anou..." Yuri blinked. "Don't get carried away, this is just sport..." "Prepare yourself, demon!" Cherry Bang-Bang cried, pointing at Yuri with her gleaming pink-and-gold longsword. "For love and justice, Poppy Princess Cherry Cherry Bang-Bang will punish you!" "Why do magical girls make all those stupid speeches?" Yuri asked, grimacing at her opponent. The other girl paused, blinked, and grew red in the face. "Don't ask stupid questions! Shut up and fight!" ******* "This should be amusing," Akurei snorted from the Dark Heart High bleachers. "That girl from Sakura Art singlehandedly dispatched half of last year's graduating class." "Mm, yes," Amakusa said, hands folded in front of his face. "However...the Mikagami girl is far more than she appears to be." A cold smile crossed his face as the match began. ******* For the first full minute of the match, neither combatant moved. Cherry Bang-Bang was sizing up Yuri, examining her stance, trying to find openings in her defenses. Yuri was wondering how to come out of this match with all her limbs intact. Finally, the magical girl charged. To her surprise, Yuri was able to parry and counter with relative ease during the first volley of strikes...apparently, she'd subconsciously picked up on some basic techniques during the previous five matches. Sparks flew as the two swords clashed, and the audience on both sides began to cheer enthusiastically. Cherry Bang-Bang leapt away and eyed Yuri warily. "You *are* good," she said. Yuri blushed at the compliment. "I'm just a fast study, really." "Then study *this*!" Without warning, several narrow bolts of golden energy streaked from the magical girl's sword at Yuri. Eyes wide, Yuri crouched low, flailing wildly with her sword. Miraculously (to her, anyway), she managed to catch each golden beam with her sword, which sent them bouncing harmlessly into the rafters. The Dark Heart crowd applauded. Yuri gasped for breath, heart hammering in her chest. This had just gotten a lot more dangerous. And Cherry Bang-Bang looked more pissed off than before. Standing, she held her sword shakily before her, watching for the next sign of attack. The magical girl narrowed her eyes. "There's no way you could have deflected that attack." She took a step back and drew herself up on one foot. "Alright then, it's time to put an end to this!" She began to trace a glowing pink heart in the air with the tip of her sword. "POPPING...CHERRY....HEART....BLOSSOM!" Yuri yelped as a giant glowing pink heart shot across the gymnasium at her, accompanied by several sprays of cherry blossoms. Transfixed, like a deer caught in the headlights, she could not attempt escape...she could only stand and watch, horror-stricken, as the shining pink death bore down on her. At the last possible second, she at least managed to close her eyes and turn her head away, crossing her arms in front of her face... A blinding white flash flooded past her eyelids, and she heard numerous gasps of astonishment. Blinking her eyes open, she turned around...and stared. The first realization was that she had failed to die a horrible pink death. The second realization was she didn't even feel like she'd been hit. The third realization was that Poppy Princess Cherry Cherry Bang-Bang was staring at her, mouth agape, eyes wide open in shock. The fourth realization was that her sword was now glowing. Curiously, Yuri pointed the blade at her opponent. Slowly, the energy bled from the sword, forming into a sickly purple heart-shaped skull with shimmering silver eye sockets. The ghastly apparition floated slowly across the gym, enveloping the magical girl. After a pregnant pause, the strange heart skull exploded. With a cry of pain, Cherry Bang-Bang was flung heavily across the gym, slammed into the wall, and slumped to the ground unconscious. Silence reigned for a long moment. Then... "Dark Heart High wins the match!" The hoots, cheers, wolf-whistles, and maniacal laughter of her classmates rang in Yuri's ears, and she smiled despite herself. ******* "She's more dangerous than I ever could have imagined." "The Mikagami girl?" Akurei gnashed his dagger-like teeth. "You overestimate her. I'm beginning to think she doesn't belong here at all. I mean, she's carrying around a magical girl sword. A pure weapon. No true being of evil could even *touch* a weapon like that, let alone use it. Best to kill her or ship her off to Sakura Art and be done with it." Amakusa shook his head, hands clasped firmly behind his back. "No...no. There is more to her than meets the eye." He frowned thoughtfully. "I know Hellstorm. He'd never have sent his daughter to us if she was a mere magical girl. In fact...he'd have long since killed her himself if that was the case." "IF she's even his daughter." The principal glanced at his second. "He registered her personally. I spoke to the registration clerk just today. She *is* his daughter." Akurei grunted. "So, what do you suppose she is, then, if not a magical girl?" "I didn't say she *wasn't* one," Amakusa said. He began slowly pacing. "Surely you've heard the legends about magical girls who turned." The reptilian vice principal's head snapped around, his eyes glittering with interest. "Those old fairy tales? Surely you can't..." "It makes perfect sense. There's nothing normal about her...except that she's almost *too* normal. She's obviously evil, given some of her exploits since she arrived here. Her father is one of the most feared generals in all the evil realms. And yet...purity weapons have almost no effect on her. And you *saw* what happened at the match." Amakusa turned to Akurei and favored him with a rare, sinister smile. "We have the pleasure of having, right under our noses...an *evil* magical girl." "Yesss...it makes perfect sense, now that you put it that way." "Yes. Such a creature is a danger to us all...but so very intriguing..." ******* As Yuri left the school grounds and started home, a figure materialized suddenly on the path in front of her. It was the captain of the Sakura Art fencing team, Poppy Princess Cherry Cherry Bang-Bang. "Oh...hello," Yuri greeted the girl. "Listen...I want to ask you something," the magical girl said. "Okay..." "Would you mind showing me your sword again?" the blonde asked. Shrugging, Yuri opened the black case and took out the colorful rapier, holding it out for the other girl to inspect. "Where...where did you get that sword?" Cherry Bang-Bang asked Yuri. Yuri blinked. "Why is everyone so interested in my mom's old sword today?" "Your...MOM'S sword?" the Sakura Art captain repeated, eyes wide. Yuri nodded. "Yeah. She used to be on your school's team. Since I'm on my school's team, she gave it to me." The blonde sized up Yuri in her Dark Heart High seifuku. "Are you trying to tell me that your mom is...?" She shook her head. "That's impossible." "What's impossible?" Yuri snapped. "Your mother can't be..." Cherry Bang-Bang paused for a moment. "That sword belonged to Lavender Fairy Heart Skittle, one of the best warriors of love and justice Sakura Art ever produced. Everyone in the magical girl world knows her name...knows her story...twenty years ago, she disappeared into a hellmouth one day after the evil demon lord Hellstorm killed her Skittle Candy Cheertroopers. She went off to fight Hellstorm, to finish him off one-on-one...and was never heard from again. After months of waiting for any sign of her return, it was finally decided that she must have been killed by Hellstorm." Yuri blinked. "By Daddy? I mean, I know he's all evil and stuff, but..." "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?" the magical girl demanded, eyes wide and staring at Yuri in horror. "Did...did you just say your father is...is..." "Troi 'Hellstorm' Mikagami," Yuri replied. Cherry Bang-Bang's eyes trailed down to the sword held in the Dark Heart High student's hand. "And...and...your mother gave you..." A slow, painful look of understanding crept over the blonde's face. After she'd stood staring at Yuri in shock for almost a minute, her eyes rolled up into her head, and she fainted dead away. "Ano...? Are you okay?" Yuri asked, prodding the unconscious girl with her toe. ******* And now, the author would like to say a few words: Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak. ******* "I want to bake cookies." "I see...and how long have you had this desire to bake cookies?" "Since about this morning. I just...want to bake cookies." "This morning when you came into contact with Mikagami-kun's sword, correct?" "Yes. I want to bake cookies." "Can you think of any reason why seeing this sword would give you this sudden, overwhelming desire to bake cookies?" "No, but I want to bake cookies." "I see. Well, this is what I think. I think something about seeing a sword triggered a memory associated with the baking of cookies...perhaps even a post-hypnotic suggestion. Either way, it has triggered a deep-seated longing to bake cookies that stems from some childhood trauma--" "Listen to me! I. WANT. TO. BAKE. FUCKING. COOKIES!" "Ahhh, now we're getting somewhere. I understand that as a succubus, you have certain...sexual kinks. But..." "I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT! AAAARGH!"