It was a bright and clear day. Birds chirped. Squirrels hopped. Grass grew. Locking his front door with a satisfying 'click-thunk', Kashin, the captain of Dark Heart High's Fencing Club, began the final day of school year. Today was the final day of examinations, the long, torturous tests that took a full week to complete, and the swordsman looked forward to the weeks of fun that were just around the corner. Little did he know that, at that vary instant, he was being scrutinized and studied by the most awesome of monsters. Oblivious to the threat encompassing him, Kashin walked off into the distance, humming a happy tune. From a van parked across the street from his residence, a lumpy faced man lowered his binoculars. "This Charlie Foxtrot to all units," he spoke into a walkie-talkie, "the area is secure. Baby bird has left the nest. Commence operation." In an instant a multitude of trucks and vans screamed across the parkway. Dozens of red-jacketed men and women streamed out of the vehicles and converged on Kashin's house. Immediately, they went to work deactivating the traps and security devices, mystical or otherwise, concealed around the residence. Several devices were set off prematurely, resulting in the sharp and painful deaths of a handful of agents. Still, the rest pressed on. The lumpy man awkwardly slumped out of his van. Reaching into his back pocket, he retrieved a worn baseball cap with the words 'REPO' emblazoned upon it and slapped the hat on his balding head. "All right boys and girls," he announced, pausing only to spit out a wad of flavorless gum, "now we enter *end game*." ********************************************************* Dark Heart High Netherworld Educational Institution for The Universal Propagation of Evil (Founded by Mads) ********************************************************* Part Fifty-Nine: Vacations! I by Doublemint ********************************************************* Deep within the teacher's lounge of Dark Heart High, a mysterious place that all students were banned from entering, a blasphemous rite was being performed by an unholy trinity of teachers. Words spoken, unfit for the ears of their pupils, struck to the vary core of the teacher's profession. "Drav'har. That's my pick for worst student." Truncheon glared into his steaming novelty mug. "That damn fool can't even climb a rope. Hell, his insane cackle couldn't unnerve a mosquito." Aug-sensei wobbled his tentacles in agreement. "I do not *click* understand how that boy bears any relation to his father. Why, he reminds me *clickclick* more of his great- grandfather Dante from his father's side. Such a *click* waste he was. *click*. Or was it his great-great-grandmother *clickclickclick* Dominique? How time passes. Perhaps it was-" "He'll be lucky to pass at any rate," Fujiko Kurosawa observed distantly, more concerned with the steam rising off her pure black coffee. "If there was any student's final I'd grade first, it would be Miss Mikagami's." "Now THERE'S a gal with potential." Coach Truncheon raised his faux soccer ball shaped mug in a salute. "I never believed in that loser's philosophy of the race not going to the fastest or the swiftest or the strongest. Still don't; it's horse hockey. But if anyone, girl or not, can ever make a believer out of me it'll be her." -or maybe his *clickclick* sister-in law." Aug-sensei turned to regard the gym teacher. "Miss Mikagami? She's just as bad as her father. He used to *click* nod off in my class but I *clickclick* could never prove it." Kurosawa sipped her drink. "She has potential, I'll give you that, but I think everyone overestimates her abilities. No one is, if you'll pardon the phrase, as good at evil as Miss Mikagami is supposed to be. I don't care if you're Amakusa, everyone has their shortfalls." Truncheon chuckled. "Like tipsy Akurei at a karaoke bar?" The comment elicited a small smile from Kurosawa. Aug- sensei laughed. "Ha*click*ha!" "Ahaha." Truncheon wiped a tear from his eye. "I know, it's so true." He sipped his drink. "Still, sometimes I can't help but pity the poor bastard. One of these days someone's gonna knock him off _good_ and no regeneration tank will heal him." Kurosawa saw it differently. "Don't waste your attention on him; he's in no real danger of 'retiring'. Really-" The door to the teacher's lounge opened with a creak. Vice-Principal Akurei eyed his subordinates as they busied themselves with latest 'World Pillagers Monthly' and 'People' magazines. Truncheon and Kurosawa sipped their drinks quietly as they read. Aug-sensei indulged in a stimulant injection. The Vice-Principal poured himself a large cup of coffee, and then added a lavish amount of sugar, cream, and cinnamon. Sampling it, he smiled happily and made his way out. Akurei left. "-no one considers him a threat," Kurosawa added. "He doesn't even have Seals like the rest of us." "Right. Right." Truncheon turned to Aug-sensei. "So what's the lowdown on the deadpool?" he asked, referring to the bet teachers made over the total freshmen causalities for the year. Aug-sensei, being a postmortem brain in bottle, was the only faculty member sensitive enough to keep up with obituaries after the second month or so. "Miss Kurosawa needs a minimum of *click* five more fatalities by the end *clickclick* of the day to beat Miss Reitetsu. Mister Eye needs an additional eight to beat Miss Kurosawa." The coach knocked back the last of his coffee and grimaced. "Close game. Damn close game." He looked over at the Basic Villainy teacher. "Well Fujiko, think you can still pull off a three-peat?" The well-dressed woman gave the smallest of smirks. "I have confidence." Truncheon let loose a hearty bellow. "Ah, Fujiko, that's what I like about you; ya never show the slightest bit of fear!" "Fear is best kept within," she observed coolly. Over the public announcement system, the first bell of the day sounded. Truncheon grinned wildly. "So it beings...." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Wormtongue! Sweet Jimmy Cthulhu, does ANYONE here know the atomic weight of Wormtongue?" "Groups are the sideways thingies and Periods are the up- and-downers, right? Right? No? WHAT'DA MEAN 'NO' ?!?" "I am One with the Universe.... Its secrets are not secrets to my inner eye.... Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm.... Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm...." It was almost time for the Chemistry final and some were dealing the situation better than others. All the students in the class scrambled to cram every last bit of information into their brains, eyes darting from their notes to the ticking clock hanging above the blackboard and back again. "This is useless," Craig moaned, chucking away the stack of notecards in his hands. "I'm not gonna know any of this. I'm gonna fail. I'm gonna fail and have to repeat this year!" Yuri Mikagami patted the armored teen's back reassuringly. "Don't freak out Craig, you'll do fine. Why, I'll bet you'll do better than I will." Craig's cheeks gained a bit of color. "Aww, you're just saying that to make me feel better." "Well, I guess I sorta am." The other teen smiled. "But it doesn't make it any less true; you haven't blown up, transmogrified, or teleported yourself into an alternate reality in, like, forever!" "I guess you're right." Yuri closed her binder with a sigh. "But _you're_ right about one thing, it's no use studying anymore." "Right," Craig nodded. "If we don't know it now, we never will." "Still, I can't help but feel I've forgotten something." Yuri shook her head. "That's just your doubts gnawing at you. Ignore them." "Maybe." The teacher entered the lab. "Okay ladies, gentlemen and otherworldly fiends, the time for your final has come. I'll pass out the instructions for the book test in a moment but first I need next-of-kin information for anyone sitting in a ten foot radius of Mister Maimsworth." This caused the boy in question to flinch. "In any case, close your books and put away your notes. Oh, and I'll consider anyone cheating to be volunteering for the position of "Example A" in the seniors dissection labs next testing period." The test booklets were handed out. The testing began. Five minutes in Craig's stomach growled. "Aww man," he groaned, "I knew I forgot *something*!" ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ It was a strange little lunch table. Over the course of the year, the teeming hordes of freshmen that filled the school cafeteria were gradually squeezed together more and more closely, even as the population of that student body declined as time went on. Many tables and chairs went unused. And these disused lunch tables formed a barrier with one _other_ lunch table, one that sat in the very middle of this desolate corner of the cafeteria. The explanation for this anomaly was simple: fear. Yuri Mikagami sighed as she peeked into her lunch bag. "Aww, peanut butter and eyeball jelly AGAIN!" "Umgph," chimed in Craig, his mouth stuffed an overly dry sandwhich. "Ah champh baweve kawine im stawhal gawiven may thumes weftwuver uhmachorm kahwets, tder pawst, *swallow*, their prime." Amy blinked. "What was that?" The eldest of the Maimsworths swallowed. "I said: Uh-huh. I can't believe Klein is still giving me these leftover unicorn cutlets, they're past their prime." "Oh." Conversation this day was light, the participants overlooking the academics of the day in favor of unwinding in the company of others. "Say Ki," poised the Merkla Demon, "don't you get sick of eating the same thing every day? Why'ya always eat that rabbit food?" The swordsman gagged on crouton. Yuri looked over at her friend, concerned. "Are you alright, Ki?" "Yes," he replied, rapping his chest lightly with a closed fist, "I'm *cough* fine." He looked over towards Ryouji. "And to answer your question: it's healthy." "But don't you get cravings for manflesh? I know I do when I'm in corporal form." "Meat, yes. One occasion." Ki cast his eyes quickly towards Yuri. "Manflesh, no. Never." Ryuji shrugged. "Whatever man." "I don't know how I ever got to the top of that rope," Amy mused. "I never realized how little upper-arm strength I have when I'm not trans-" The triclops stopped and whipped her head around. There stood Bala. Yuri turned around as well. "Oh, uh, hi Bala." Bala blinked. A tense moment passed. "Oh," Yuri 'oh'ed, noticing the lunch tray in the mummy's hands. "Do you want to sit with us?" Amy and Ki narrowed their eyes. Bala dragged a seat from an adjacent table and sat himself down. Turning his eye away from Yuri, he viewed the wiggling pile of mystery meat on his tray with suspicion. After poking it with a fork several times to ensure deadness, he loosened the wrapping around his jaw and began to eat. Yuri's mind raced through the possible subjects of conversation. "So, uh, how's Leilei doing?" Bala shrugged. Yuri took it as a sign of 'well enough'. "That's good," she said. Amy purposely fumbled her soda can, drawing Yuri's attention away from Bala. "Whoops. That was too close." She looked aside to Yuri. "So... any progress on who started that rumor about you?" Mikagami furrowed her eyebrows, momentarily irked. Her expression then changed to something more downtrodden. "No," she said, "nothing yet." Ki scratched his chin. "Maybe the person or persons spreading those rumors about you are the same ones spreading that scandalous little lie about Craig and Yasuko." Craig projected an knowing, "I'm here for you, my brother" look at Ryuji. The meaning of this escaped to newly the dead corpse for several seconds. Craig, meanwhile, proceeded to violently stand up from his seat, knocking back his chair in the process. "Wait!" Ryuji urged stridently, but it was too late. "I can't put up with your lying eyes anymore, Yasuko!" "What are you *doing*?" the succubus hissed. "People can hear you!" Ki stabbed at his lettuce. "No one will hear you; no one's sitting close enough." "Oh yeah," Craig muttered to himself. He drew in a deep breath. "Well, uh, (Caps) I can't believe you'd do that to me! I thought the trysts with the magical girls were bad, but to leave me for, uh, a mummy!" Yasuko drew back. "_WHAT_?" "I thought I could trust you Bala!" Craig thrust a thick finger at the boy in question. "But you had to fall for her seductress's ways, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?!" Bala stared blankly. "And YOU!" he returned to Yasuko. "Why did I ever trust YOU, who used me as a cat's-paw against the one demon who REALLY holds your heart!" He winked non-too-obviously at Ryuji. "I was a fool!" Quaking with anger and embarrassment, Yasuko sank her clawed fingers deep into the lunch table. "You... you...." Craig picked up his backpack and slung it over his armored shoulder. After a moment's indecision, he reached for his half- finished thermos of marrow. "WE'RE THROUGH YASUKO! GOODBYE!" With that he turned and sauntered off, quietly whistling a happy tune. Yuri, Bala, Amy, and Ki all stared at one another, unsure of what to do next. The rest of the cafeteria was likewise quiet. Ryuji stared at the door where Craig had been standing, jaw agape. Yasuko's right eye twitched. Suddenly the doors opened, and Craig stuck his head in. "Oh yeah, and now that Yasuko's *FREE* and *BACK ON THE MARKET*," he winked extra hard at Ryuji, "I won't have anything to do with her! At all!" With that, he was gone. Somewhere in the back of the cafeteria, a student mused aloud. "So... does this mean the Yasuko and Ryuji are gonna get married?" Yasuko's scream rattled the walls. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The lunchtime group reassembled in their homeroom. The time had come for their last exam, the Basic Villainy 101 final. Booklets were passed out, as well as scantrons, and Fujiko Kurosawa gave her penultimate lecture to the class. "Today's final will consist of two parts. The first, as we discussed previously, will be a standardized test with multiple choice, definitions, and fill-in sections. I expect all you know how to fill in an oval with a pencil by now." Kurosawa, arms still crossed, took three carefully placed steps forward, the click from her high-heels rebounding throughout the silent classroom. "The second section will be an oral examination." Pause. "And no, Miss Wareme, it is not what you're thinking." The disappointed succubus slumped in her seat. "Phooey." The unfriendly-looking instructor continued. "The oral examination demands each student take a turn standing in front of the class, at which point they will demonstrate why they are, in fact, a complete and total bitch or bastard. The oral examination comprises a majority of your final grade, so I expect you to draw not only upon everything you have learned in this classroom but from your life in general." "Take your No. 2 pencils out and begin." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Over the better part of an hour and a half, the students in BV-101 worked through the first half of their final examination. Ovals were shaded in. Essay responses were written. Definitions were matched to random vocabulary. So it went. 3. 2. 1. "Pencils down," the teacher ordered tersely. Around the classroom, students slouched in their seats, mentally drained from their exam. Finals at Dark Heart High were generally harder ('more evil', one might say) than at most netherworld educational institutions, and Miss Kurosawa's final was no exception. Rather, it was more stringent than most, keeping in line with the instructor's personality and philosophy. "To review," Kurosawa began, "you will take turns explaining to the class why you deserve to be called a bitch or bastard. You will do so standing at the podium." She pointed at ghostly student hovering in the back corner of the classroom. "Herr Ditko, we begin with you." The ghost levitated up to the podium and shortly thereafter began his speech. Three offensive minutes later, he returned to his seat. Kurosawa scribbled a few last minute notes. "Barely satisfactory," she mused aloud, "but satisfactory nonetheless. Next." The process repeated itself through several students over the course of roughly one half hour. Finally, it was Yasuko's turn. "Well," she began with a fiendish smile, "not only do I take pleasure in the misery, pain, and suffering of others but, since I am what I am, I thrive on their tortured pleasure as well. But that makes me evil, not a bitch. What makes me a bitch is my glamorous self, a terrible beauty that leaves men in awe. I break their hearts, devour their souls, and destroy their lives and do so with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I lie, cheat, steal, and most definitely manipulate others into destroying themselves. I am well-versed in the art of taunts and deathtraps, and feel great pride in designing them in such a way that robs the victim of their dignity." Yasuko stood straight up, arms akimbo. "That's why I'm a total and complete bitch." "Next," droned Kurosawa, scribbling the word 'delusional' and 'minion?' on her evaluation sheet. Ryuji went up in front of the class and gave his speech, following him were several other students. Finally it came to be Balabalalde's turn. With great anticipation, the whole of Basic Villainy 101 watched the mummy as he shambled up to the podium. Bala stared out at the class. Silence filled the room. Closing one hand into a tight fist, Bala drew it back and then threw it into his other, open, hand. The two came together with a meaty smack. "Aptly put," the teacher commented. "Next." A few turns later, it was Amy Angeleye's turn. Almost. Kurosawa continued her note taking, not bothering to look up as she spoke. "Mr. Ikari has informed me of your medical condition, Miss Angeleye. Your written exam was constructed to reflect this, therefore it will count for double in the absence of the oral exam." She crossed off Amy's name. "Next." With the clatter and clanking of metal on metal, Craig Maimsworth approached the podium. He stood their awkwardly, unsure of what to say. "*Coughcough*!," he cleared his throat noisily. "*Ahem*. I guess I should give the speech everyone wants to hear, hell, the speech *I* want to hear, but I, uh, I can't." Craig paused, gulping nervously. "See... see, I'm not a real bastard, not like Ms. Kurosawa trains us all to be. Not yet. This past year, I've gone through a lot, met a lot of, uh, interesting people. Friends you might say." He gathered his courage. "I've also had a couple victories. Real victories. Over real enemies! I avenged my Father and killed my maniac Brother, all the while carrying on my image as a fool and a clown. Which, truthfully, I was... a clown, that is. Now I'm the eldest son and scion of my family, and I don't want to be what I was before. And I wasn't a bastard, I was a just a fool. But I'm less of a fool now, and one day, one day _soon_, I won't be one at all." A lopsided smile spread across the blond teen's face, hinting at the teeth concealed within. "One day I will be a total bastard, who dispatches his enemies, sparing neither quarter or nor dignity. And I'll rule over the weak and the strong alike. I'll rule over YOUR children and THEIR children. Mwahahah!" Craig chortled, then, suddenly, grasped the podium with both hands and broke out into a megalomaniac bellow from deep within. "Mwahahaha! Hahaha! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA..._HA_!" Face flush with pride and embarrassment, Craig hustled back to his seat. "You rambled on, to your detriment," Kurosawa announced evenly, "but I must congratulate you on your improvement this year, Mr. Maimsworth." She scratched off the word 'minion' from the evaluation sheet spread before her. "Next." In front of Craig, Ki Tamaida stood up. Katana brandished at his hip, he calmly walked up to the front. Taking a moment to look out over his fellow classmates, he felt an odd quiver in his chest. It caught his breath for a brief moment. Gathering himself, he began to speak. "I came to Dark Heart High to learn the ways to crush my foes and gain ultimate power for myself, I said so myself on our first day here." He paused, the words sounding strangely hollow to him. "Now I know that knowledge, let alone power, isn't enough to satisfy my desires. But more importantly, I know what those desires are now." Ki said this, consciously turning his attention to the side of the classroom opposite Yuri. "I will sacrifice anything and anyone to fulfill my desires, my goals. Not for... family," Ki hesitated, still uneasy with this new mode of thought, "they are unimportant. Family is transitory and must be abandoned if it becomes a barrier to one's goals." "One day I will become the greatest of assassins, of men, and no one will stand in my way. Not adversaries. Not family." The words came quicker now as the lie began. "Certainly not friends. And if I can achieve my goals one second faster if I sacrifice my allies, so be it." He held his sheathed katana aloft. "But I will do so it an efficient manner. Brutality is an indulgence none of us can afford." "In the end, to achieve my goals, I must be totally and completely ruthless. _That_ is why I am a bastard." A few teens began clapping, but they were shot down by a withering glare from their teacher. "Next," Kurosawa announced. Yuri Mikagami watched with growing nervousness as the line of student speakers snaked around the room. All to soon (in Yuri's opinion) it was her turn. Bracing herself, she began. "I am a, uh, bitch because... because...." Yuri faltered, at a loss for words. Suddenly the words of her Aunt Venoma came to her: "Whenever you need to impress people, always speak from the bottom of your dark, pulsating heart. But don't forget to frame it in such a way they understand it, that's half the battle." Yuri started over. "I am a bitch because I don't treat people well. It doesn't matter if you're a friend or an enemy. I use and abuse anyone because I, er, feel like it. I string my friends along because, truthfully, half the time I don't know what I'm doing.... I feel lost sometimes," she added quietly. "But I feel hap---no---confident in knowing that those who do place their faith in me, even if they don't _really_ know me, will be, uh, rewarded for that faith. I want to protect the people I trust, that I know and love." She paused, searching for a cap for her speech. "And, well, if I have to be a... a bitch, then so be it!" "That's all." She sat down. The teacher added her comments to Yuri's report and then moved on the next student. This general process repeated itself until the last student had given their speech. Kurosawa finished her notations, gathered her things, and stood. She walked to the podium where her students had given their speeches, dropping her notes on her desk along the way. "Congratulations," she said tersely, "you survived." The students looked at one another, unsure of how to comment on that statement. Kurosawa carefully observed her students for the last time in their Freshmen school year. "...You may talk *quietly* until the dismissal bell rings." She began to move away from the podium, then caught herself. All the teens leaned forward, wondering what their impeccable teacher might have forgotten. "Oh yes," she added, "try not to die over the summer. I'm curious to see how this all turns out." With that Fujiko Kurosawa walked over to desk, sat, and began grading papers. A few minutes later, the bell rang. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" screamed a former- Freshman-turned-Upperclassman, streaking out the gates of Dark Heart High. Aside from such spots of excitement, most students exited in a subdued fashion, tired from the cumulative stress of the last week of final exams. Yuri Mikagami and Amy Angeleye were two such students. "Wanna get a scoop of ice cream?" Amy asked, clutching her backpack tightly. "My treat." Yuri thought about it, then smiled. "Sure. Double-fudge?" "Why not? My Stepfather gave me enough yen." The two made their way to the gate. At the cusp of the barrier, Amy turned to Yuri. "Did you really mean what you said back there?" Yuri blushed. "Oh that. I don't really think I'm a bitch, if that's what you mean." A voice spoke out. "I think the lady was referring to feeling lonely." Yuri and Amy looked up. Sitting atop the wall surrounding the school was Ki Tamaida of the Steel Thorn Clan and his piercing gray eyes. "Ki." The two girls. "So do you?" "Do I what?" The boy looked at the sky. "Feel lonely." "Uh, well, sometimes. Sometimes, I suppose I do." Ki lowered his head and smiled a sad smile. "I get that." The assassin hopped to the ground. "Do you two mind if I tag along? I don't really want to go home right now." Yuri glanced sideways at Amy. "Sure, we don't mind." Angeleye frowned. "No, we don't." "Great!" exclaimed Ki. "Let me guess," drawled Amy. "Butterscotch?" Ki smiled slyly. "You're a perceptive one, aren't you?" "Can't fool an Angeleye," she said proudly. 'Wanna bet?' he thought to himself. "HEY GUYS!" yelled a familiar voice. The three teens turned around. Running up to them was Craig Maimsworth, with Bala trailing behind. Craig sauntered up to the trio. "Hey! You guys want to catch a flick or something?" Amy. "Actually-" "-we're-" Ki. "Not busy at all!" Yuri smiled cheerfully. "Wanna join us at the ice cream shop?" Craig wiped a bead of sweat away and grinned fiercely. "That sounds great! Where's the shop?" "This little place down the corner." Yuri gestured in the general direction. "Bala knows the way. Right, Bala?" He nodded. "Great!" she skipped off. "Let's go!" Amy, Ki, and Bala glared at one another. Craig, meanwhile, studied their interactions curiously. "Guys?" The armored boy glanced at each classmate. Bala turned away from the staring match. He was followed by Ki and Amy, and the three, plus Craig, moved to catch up with their mutual friend. Thankfully the ice cream shop wasn't *too* close and everyone together soon enjoyed the afternoon, with its promise of many weeks of freedom, to its fullest. And they feasted. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Author's Notes Blessings to Smlee and Diku Kurayami for their collaboration on this chapter, which originally was supposed to be the first of a three part arc. Without them, this part would be totally alien. Hopefully the next two chapters won't fall through since it's always a shame for a decent outline to die. Thanks to Nicolas Juzda for prereading and to Jax for adding his two cents in at the last minute. Extra special super thanks to Lawrence Chu for the extension. This part would not exist without him. And as a final message, I'm asking everyone who reads this chapter to seriously consider writing for Dark Heart High. It's a really great series with plenty of opportunity for good humor and is nearly always a stress-free write. Self-deprication aside, if I can write for impro, any monkey can. And if you're a first timer, take a look at my part for Final Fantasy Legands. It sucked! But look at my second impro, my first one for DHH, and how I improved. So please PLEASE *P L E A S E* sign-up! The queues hunger.... ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The knocking was polite and patient. The door opened. Kashin (last name?) waved cheerfully at the figure standing in the doorway, Tokiko Sanzenin, the girl with the Ingram Mac-10. "Hi!" "What do you want, Kashin?" "I, uh, need to crash at your place for a few days." Tokiko's expression remained the same behind her opaque sunglasses. Unfazed. "Why?" "I got evicted." "You got evicted?" she echoed. Kashin held up a glossy public notice of eviction. "Seems I owed some millions of yen in back taxes, so the nice Repo Man decide to take away everything I owe, house included, and sell it at auction. I can't go to mom and dad before they get back from touring the empire; I'll look irresponsible." "Hmm." Using the tip of the gun barrel on her Ingram Mac- 10, the black-clad girl scratched an itch on her knee. "I can see how that might be a problem." The young man clasped his hands together and summoned his best puppy-dog look. "Can I please stay with you until I exact revenge on my enemies? I have to show that Unbidden bastard who's boss." She cut back quickly. "I really don't have-" "Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?" "Look, now isn't the best time for-" "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaasssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeee?" Thumbing off the safety, Tokiko leveled her Ingram Mac-10 at her friend's pleading vestige. "Speak that way one more time and 'please' will be the last word you ever say." Kashin sighed. "Tokiko," he said normally, shoulders sagging, "can I please stay with you? Please?" "...fine," she conceded shortly, lowering the firearm. "Thanks!" he chirped, and then shuffled through the doorway, jagged tower swords in hand, and made his way upstairs. Halfway up the staircase he asked playfully, "So, which side of the bed do you want?" Tokiko thought it over for a moment. "Whichever side you're on," she replied with a small, chilly grin. Kashin chuckled. "I wasn't joking." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ In a spacious dimensional pocket, Hikari Hikari beamed with joy. "A meditation room! Five spare bedrooms! 24-packs of Jolt! Praise the Lord, it somehow has a Playstation 3!" He turned to his girlfriend. "Wow Liza, your house has *everything*!" "It should, considering what I paid for it...."