"Atsuko, I fm worried about you." Reika stated, her eyes nervously scanning the room, as if something oozing would pop out from behind her friend fs dresser. Atsuko blinked. "Worried? Why?" "First you go to some summer drama camp where you know absolutely no one. Way out of character. Then you meet a guy at said summer camp; you NEVER talk to guys. From what you tell me, he wears a suit of armor! Who wears a suit of armor?!" "Shush. We fve met him before. Remember that time when we met Yuri for lunch and were temporarily turned into werewolves? He was there." Reika paled. For one who professed a disbelief in ghosts, she could have passed for one at that point. "Which didn ft happen. We had bad stomachaches. The food was off." Atsuko restrained the urge to roll her eyes. "Right. Reika, when are you going to stop fooling yourself? Sure, things around Yuri are weird, but she fs our friend. And her friends are okay. Yes, some of them aren ft human. I fve come to grips with it. They fre a nice bunch, if you ignore some odd quirks." "One girl had eight legs! Another had bat WINGS!" Reika almost shouted. "Oh?" Atsuko replied slyly. "Does that mean you are acknowledging the fact they _had_ wings and extra legs?" "NO! ... Yes. I fm not sure. Since when did you become so good at psychology, anyways?" The doubter eyed her friend suspiciously. "Oh, we did a piece a little while back in that drama camp, Othello, and we had to understand Iago fs motives." Atsuko shrugs. "Yeah... Hey, why fs that owl at your window?" * * * * * * * * * Dark Heart High Netherworld Educational Institution for The Universal Propagation of Evil Engineered by Mads * * * * * * * * * Part Sixty-Six: Investigations! By Ciardra * * * * * * * * * Kuniko eyed the room she was in. It was a bright room, with large windows, tasteful furniture, and a suspicious lack of torture devices. Her escoop f was busy bringing in what looked to be a plateful of chocolate chip cookies on a Hello Cluthu (TM) plate. Cookies. Yuri seated herself on the beige sofa in between Amy and bondage boy ? err, Balabalade, and his pink-haired assistant Leilei. "So, Kuniko, what exactly do you want to know?" Flipping open a notepad, Kuniko grinned. "Here fs an easy one to start out with. Explain the function of the Monroe Doctrine and how it influenced US, European, and Asian foreign policy in the years between its issuance in 1812 and 1900." Bala blinked. Amy stared, an eyebrow raised. "Huh?" Yuri laughed nervously. "Oops, sorry, that would be my world history homework I was assigned over the break." Kuniko paused, rifling through the pages before coming to stop at another page, presumably with the correct questions. "Let fs try that again, shall we? Now, why did you decide on this shield? I can only assume it fs for your summer project." "How fd you know?" Amy blinked, before whacking her forehead. Her ward assumed this was an intentional assault and as such, it stung. A lot. Amy winced before answering her own question. "You fre uncle. Sorry. Forget I asked." "Nah, like I said before, my uncle and I really don ft talk. Call it a hunch. Your classmate, Ramidra the Unscrupulous, was it? She held the island of Ryukyu hostage a few days ago. If I didn ft guess what for, I would fve hung up my journalist badge." "Ah." There fs a bit of that awkward silence that pervades all good and evil conversations. "Uhh, you guys may be new to this whole interview thing, but this is the part where you answer my question," Kuniko volunteered. "Right!" Yuri grinned. "We stole the shield because of its mystical properties and its defense system. If we could get it then we fd be the first to steal it." "What sort of mystical properties?" Kuniko asked, pen in hand. "You know, physical and spiritual revenants of a slain demon, the ability to drive all mere mortals within a 500-meter radius raving mad if unwarded, powerful enough to blight most of Eurasia. The usual." Amy smirked at Kuniko, who nods and makes a few notes on her paper. Kuniko rolled her eyes. "Let me indulge in some petty speculation: The demon it belonged to was some big-shot in Hell?" It _always_ belongs to some hell demon. "Good guess. It was used to be one of the lesser guardians, Apollyon, of one of the Pits. The snake-inhabited one, I think." Leilei nodded, the resident expert on various trivia and reigning undefeated champion in Trivial Pursuit. "Yeah, that fs it." "How fd you guys find out about the shield? Things like that aren ft usually out in the open for anybody to waltz by and pick it up." Yuri smiled proudly. "Dad tried to steal it, but decided it wasn ft worth his time. Since he had done all the legwork on finding the thing and scouting out the security system, it was kinda easy waltz by and pick it up." "SHH!" Leilei motioned for Yuri to shut up. "This is graded on difficulty, remember? If she prints how easy it was for you three to steal the shield, then the whole effort fs down the drain." Bala blinked in agreement. "Okay, that won ft be in the article. Next question: What do you three plan on doing with the shield of Apollyon?" "Umm..." "Err..." Bala blinked rapidly. Kuniko idly wondered if he was having some sort of seizure. Leilei supplied an answer. "Wreak havoc o fer the land, of course." Amy snorted. "Not happening. Didn ft we already decide that there was to be no devastating mayhem ecause we didn ft have legions of willing minions?" "Kuniko, could you just write that we said our future plans were a secret and that we cackled evilly or something?" Yuri intervened before Bala could take offense. "Ahh, yeah, I can." Kuniko winced. "You fre not leaving me much to work with, you know." "Maybe if we described the actual robbery?" Amy suggested, toying with her ward. Kuniko nodded slowly. Details are always good. "That would work." "Okay. Amy and I did the actual breaking and entering, and Bala took care of the guards." Kuniko sweat-dropped. " eTook care f of the guards is putting it mildly. This is the boy who single-handedly creamed our soccer team in every match." Bala blinked with pride. Leilei beamed at the praise given to her ward. "What type of wards was protecting the shield?" "Anti-darkness ofuda, a few enclosing spells, one nasty barrier charm, 243 containment wards." Yuri answered, checking off each type on her fingers. "Cool. Who originally was protecting this thing again?" "A bunch of Light priests." Amy shrugged nonchalantly. "Anything else?" Kuniko asked desperately. There was precious little she could possibly write. Forget front page article spanning front and back ? with the smidges of information she could probably make a page three blurb. Tops. What a escoop f. "Nope!" Yuri smiled. "Thanks." Kuniko eyed the page of notes sourly, before giving a weak smile as she got up. Trying to ignore the rolling mass of darkness that was flowing up from the basement, presumably Yuri fs infamous father, Kuniko left quickly. * * * * * The seductress of the century smiled enticingly at the hapless guards from the half-shadows, winking coyly and posturing in some rather tight clothes. To their credit, they wrestled with the decision to join her for about three seconds. "Hello boys." Yasuko whispered huskily, moving completely into the light, but still avoiding the outside perimeter cameras. "Now, which of you big, strong, men is going to help me find my way?" Eyelash flutter. "I fm _so_ very lost." As predicted, the security forces were too busy drooling to notice Ryuji fs new body slip past. Now all she had to do was to keep the idiots busy. Not too hard, excepting she wasn ft allowed to steal their souls. A pity, really. Might as well have a bit of fun. * * * * * Ryuji slipped past the security measures easily. It was a windfall, this war between the Doombringers and the Steel Thorn Clan: there was no short supply of nice, supple, and generally, still cooling bodies for him to use. Granted, some of the more violent duels between the two enemies resulted in pulpy fashion, but more often than not, the bodies were usable. Whether the scions of these factions minded or not. He made his way silently through the halls, not a single magicked item on his body, no spells cast to make his path easier. For once, the forces of Light were acting as paranoid as the hordes of the dark. They had mystics watching their bank accounts. Unfortunately for the forces of Light, the mystics they had hired were too busy watching anime or sleeping. The security cameras were a joke to avoid, as Craig had supplied him with an item any science geek would have been proud of: X- Ray glasses. While they really didn ft use X-Rays, they _did_ allow him to view the sweep pattern of the cameras and thus avoid them. They also looked damned fine, or so he thought. Ryuji was never one for following current fashion trends and had thus missed out on twenty years of enlightened optometry. Regardless of his eyewear, Ryuji made it to the cliched super-computer with no problems. With a grin, he connected the easily accessed USB port to his own on a slim laptop. Craig was in the mainframe, the firewall laughable. Within minutes of furious typing, Craig Maimsworth had the Bank of Hikari (no relation to the current principal of Sakura Arts) in the palm of his hand. Which he promptly handed over to Ryuji, whose skill at creative accounting knew no bounds. Indeed, Arthur Anderson would have been proud. The transfer of money was accomplished simply, if you loved accounting and every nuance of its hated maths. Craig hacked into the Foundation for the Training of Magical Companions and other Mystical Creatures Aiding All That Is Good (henceforth known as Account A for simplicity fs sake) rather quickly. No need to get into details, it would take longer than the actual process itself. The personal account of a well known highly placed Knight School teacher was summarily hacked, in the same fashion (henceforth known as Account B, also for simplicity fs sake). Account A fs financial history was clean, as was Account B fs. Not for long. First, after the control of the computer had been relinquished to Ryuji, Account A was relieved of a large amount of funds in a short amount of time. That money was transferred to Account B. Using the system, Ryuji changed the dates and the size of the transfer so it would span over the course of five years past. The records thus changed and damage done, Ryuji handed the metaphorical controller over to Craig, who left a nice virus that would destroy any mainframe that tried to access the Maimsworth account. There was no way he was going to let the family funds be trashed because of some school project. That fll teach him for using a bank of the forces of good, all right. Ryuji left the darkened bank quietly, motioning for the succubus to follow whenever she felt necessary as he passed and disappeared into the streets nearby. He would circle within a five-block radius for ten minutes, before returning to a now-moved ice cream truck to throw off any would-be-stalkers. Yasuko would join whenever she could manage to rid herself of several new love-slaves. Back in the ice cream truck, the three cackled evilly. Kurosawa-sensei would have sniffed at their efforts. "So Craig, does this thing come stocked with cookie-dough ice cream?" * * * * * First and foremost, I fd like to apologize to Mads for desecrating his story. But, man was it fun! Extreme thanks to Doublemint and Lawrence Chu: without you two this would have never gotten out. Cookies (of the sulfur kind) go to Doublemint, who edited for me. I bow in her honor, grovel in her presence, etc. Like many other Impro writers, I found that my best work comes in the wee hours of the morning, when all other sane creatures should be sleeping. NOTES: The Shield of Apollyon is now up for grabs to the future writers. Anyone can have fun with it, but I add a humble request: snakes HAVE to be involved. Enjoy! ----Ciardra * * * * * A bewildered ninja blinked at his bank statement and the substantial increase in his account. "No, this can ft be right." He mumbled in his screechy voice. "I don ft have another raise for the next three months." He would have had longer time to muse over the puzzle, had someone not been knocking insistently on his door. The ninja put down his bank notice on a low table and headed to the door, a dagger behind his back and a throwing knife ready in the other hand. Just because he fs Good doesn ft mean he can ft be prepared. Constant Vigilance and all that jazz. His vigilance failed him as the door slammed down and the Japanese equivalent of a SWAT team stormed in both front, back, and secret entrances. All the epoof f smoke in the world couldn ft have helped the Knight School teacher escape. "Kenji Tendo, you are under arrest for the embezzlement of funds of Sakura Arts f Foundation for the Training of Magical Companions and other Mystical Creatures Aiding All That Is Good. You have the right to remain silent."