There once was an Otaku named Dave,
Who created a tremendous wave.
With friends we thank,
And a big-ass tank,
Otakuland he's going to save.

Phreakachu maybe small and yellow,
And resembling, in ways, a pillow,
And though he can't talk,
He can deliver a shock.
You see, he's one bad-ass little fellow.

One day Vixen, a veteran,
Saw Dave about to wet 'em.
She said with a shrug,
'He deserves it, the lug!'
Cause with Phreakachu, you don't try to pet 'im!

There was a psycho named Evan,
Who with Dave, wanted to get even.
So he stole a gun,
And kept him on the run,
But he's been shot, so let's leave 'im.

After the girls, chased he,
Imaging himself to be free.
But it isn't true,
For just like you,
B1FF is a hentai, you see.