In a dimly lit room on the second floor of what could charitably be called 
a nice inn, a tall moderately-built man sat on the edge of his bed and held 
a small crystal ball in his right hand.  Studying the multifaceted globe
carefully, he held it out in front of him and began chanting a soft
incantation.  

The ball began to glow softly and then pulsed suddenly as the image of a
woman in a dark robe made itself visible within its center.  

"Torr," the woman in the crystal identified him.  "What have you to report?" 

"They have arrived, and are preparing to set out after a night's rest.  I
believe they will be heading toward Saillune." 

"Very well.  Our Lady of the Sea is pleased that you have chosen to join us.  
You understand your objective?" 

"I believe so." 

"Good.  We have someone else in the group, but she may be unable to handle
the situation by herself.  I trust you will be more than capable of the
task." 

"Yes, Lady Erika." 

"Be sure to convince them of the importance of the item, so that they will 
be all the more pressed to find it quickly.  And when they do recover it, 
resort to whatever means are called for to retrieve the item.  If you need 
to kill every last one of them, do so." 

His lips curled in a slight frown.  "I don't do children." 

Erika answered without pause.  "You do not need to worry yourself over such
things.  Our other agent will act to prevent the girl from getting in the way
of things.  Your only concern is--" 

"Yes, yes, yes..." interrupted Torr.  "I understand completely.  I'll be in
touch." 

"Wait! Do not forget that you mustn't--" Erika was cut off as Torr ran his
left palm over the surface of the sphere and held it clutched between his
hands.  He placed the crystal in a small pouch attached to his belt and
removed a whetstone from his traveling pack.  Sitting down, he set about the
task of sharpening his sword, unconsciously singing to himself.  

"Et la tête, et la tête, oh!" 

- = - 

Improfanfic Presents...  

Slayers Glorious! 
Chapter 3:  Enter the Mongoose 
by Ravi Duvvuri

started by Todd Harper

- = - 

The two opponents squared off, neither daring to make the opening move.  The
lights above glinted off steel, and the tension in the air was nearly
tangible.  

"On a count of three, Mari-chan?" Naga asked Mariposa.  

"Hai!" Mariposa agreed, tightening her grip on her knife.  

Naga smirked.  "Very well.  Actinaea, would you please do the honor of
counting off for us?" 

"I do not believe you should be taking such gross liberties with the
education of _MY_ student," Actinaea protested as she slammed her palms on
the table.  

"Oh-HOHOHOHO!" Naga whooped.  "She must learn the proper gusto with which to
approach life before she can truly come into her own as a spellcaster.  If
she does not, the best she can aspire to is to become a cut-rate hack such
as yourself!" 

Actinaea grit her teeth.  "I fail to see how 'teaching' her to gorge herself
on slop is going to make her a better user of magic." 

Naga turned to Actinaea and raised an eyebrow.  "Perhaps that would explain
your own failings as a magician." 

"Mariposa Manin Fehlmeier, you are not t-" Actinaea stopped in midsentence 
as both she and Naga realized that the young girl was busily making her way
through her third roast duck.  

"Oh-HOHOHOHOHO! That's the way to do it, Mari-chan!" Naga encouraged, as she
herself began making the dishwasher earn his overtime pay.  

Actinaea breathed a sigh of surrender and slumped in her chair.  Realizing
that she did not wish to go hungry, she began defending her plate from the
predations of Naga and Mariposa.  

The rest of the diners in the inn, choosing the path of wisdom, stood up in
unison and made their wishes known.  

"Check please!" 

- = - 

Getehl chuckled to himself as people began streaming out of the door of the
inn.  He leaned against the counter of the fruit cart and took another
careful bite from the apple in his hand.  

"What do you suppose is going on over there?" the fruit merchant asked.  

Getehl tossed the remainder of the apple in his mouth, chewed twice, and
spit the seeds out onto the cobbled street.  "The beginning of an adventure,
my friend.  The adventure of a lifetime." 

After tossing a couple of coins to the merchant, Getehl hefted a small sack
of fruit over his shoulder and set off to his next stop in preparing for the
next day's journey.  

- = - 

Later that evening, Naga and Mariposa stood around a table in their room.  A
map of the continent lay spread out on the table before them.  

Mari ran her finger across the surface of the map, tracing out the major
trade routes and thoroughfares.  "It's so...  large," she whispered to 
herself.

"You've never been to the mainland before?" Naga asked her.

Mari shook her head excitedly.  "Nope.  I was born on Singe, and grew up
there, too.  Until the Mage Guild was built, I figured I'd spend the rest of
my life there."

"You poor, poor thing.  Well, we shall have to remedy your provincial
upbringing.  We wouldn't want you to end up like Actinaea, now would we?" she
said with a sly smile on her face.  

From the door came a reply, "Of course we wouldn't." Actinaea scowled as she
closed the door behind her.  She sat down in a chair and slowly toweled her
wet hair.  Although normally she would not be caught dead bathing in such a
hovel, it had been necessary after the boat trip to Vartia.  "What is our
plan of action, oh Great and Powerful White Serpent?" 

"We were just considering that now.  I was thinking that we should just cut
north to Sairaag and look for some clues there, instead of charging out into
the Desert of Destruction blindly." 

"I'm sure they'd love to know the reason we were searching through their
archives," Actinaea retorted.  "'No, sir.  We aren't trying to find that
mystical item that we claimed to have in our possession in exchange for the
rights to our guild'," she singsonged.  

Naga slowly nodded in agreement.  "How about Atlas City, then?" 

Actinaea looked down at the map.  "Why not just head east to begin with,
instead of going north and then backtracking? We could cut through Saillune,
and stop off at the Royal Library.  I'm sure we'd be able to find some
information there." 

Naga paused for a moment before responding.  "No, let's not go through
Saillune.  We'll follow the coast down through the Alliance into the Desert."

Actinaea merely raised an eyebrow in response.  

"Wouldn't it be easier to sail down the coast to somewhere like Alkal?" Mari
asked, breaking the brief silence.  

Naga and Actinaea made eye contact, and in a moment that seemingly defied
all reality, answered as one.  

"No." 

- = - 

The next morning, Naga stumbled out into the hallway only to trip over the
prone figure of Getehl just outside the door.  She gave an annoyed half-
hearted kick at his side.  "Are you okay?" she asked.  

Getehl's eyes sprung open and he sat up.  "Why yes, thank you.  It's a lovely
morning, isn't it?" he responded.  

Naga mumbled something about morning people and went off in search of some
coffee just as Mari came out of the door.  

"Good morning, Getehl-san!" she bubbled.  

"The same to you, Mari." 

"Um, did you sleep in the hallway? I'm sooo sorry.  We should have gotten you
another room.  I'll remember to tell Naga-sama to get you a room next time.
And if she doesn't, I'll have Praetor Actinaea do it.  And if she doesn't do
it, then--" Mari's hyperactive ramblings were cut short as she paused to
breathe.  

Getehl held his hands up in reassurance.  "No, it's all right.  I can't sleep
in beds anymore anyway.  I've spent too much time on the road." 

"Oh.  Okay." 

"Let's grab breakfast, shall we? We've got a long journey ahead of us." 

- = - 

Having decided on visiting the Guild Hall in Atlas City first, the four
travelers began their trip after a surprisingly light breakfast.  

The morning and early afternoon passed without event, and while Naga and
Actinaea weren't exactly chatting like best friends, they had managed to go
all day without getting into a screaming match.  

Actinaea had made good on her promise to make sure Mari studied, and the
subsequent recitation of magical incantations and resulting discussions of
magic theory were causing Getehl to remember why he had never tried
spellcasting.  

"So what is it that we're looking for?" he tried to change the topic.  

"The Silver Bell of Shazard Lugandi," Naga answered.  "It's an ancient and
powerful artifact." 

"Don't you mean the 'Silent Bell'?" Actinaea asked.  

"That's what I said," snapped Naga.  "The Silent Bell." 

"What's it do?" Getehl probed.  

Naga shrugged.  "No clue." 

Actinaea stopped in her tracks.  "Wait, you don't know either? I thought you 
were supposed to be an expert on Lagundi's creations..." 

Naga froze, realizing her mistake.  Stumbling for an answer, she rambled,
"Well, you see...  it's not one of his major works.  I've only ever seen it
mentioned once, and that was in a catalogue of magical items written by
another magician who wasn't even alive at the same time as Lagundi..." 

"Just perfect," Actinaea mumbled to herself.  "Not only are we sent off on a
near-certain wild goose chase, but our supposed expert turns to be as fake
as--" 

Naga narrowed her eyes.  "Don't even think about finishing that sentence,"
she cautioned.  

"My feet are killing me," whined Mariposa, breaking up the brewing argument
between the two women.  "Do you think we can see about getting some horses
when we get to Atlas City, Actinaea?" 

"I'll see what I can do." 

"Say," Getehl interjected.  "Is it just me, or does it look like there's a
roadblock up ahead?" 

- = - 

For Marcus, Bandit King extraordinaire, it had been a very slow week.  His
gang, Marcus' Marauders, hadn't even robbed ten people yet, and it was
already Thursday.  Apparently, some trade embargo on the part of Ralteague 
was keeping merchants from traveling north along the road.  

So when he saw the group of four people coming down the road, he figured he
could at least take some of his frustration out on them.  When he noticed it
was three unprotected women and a single guard, he began to think that maybe
things were beginning to look up.  

"All right, ladies and gentleman," he announced as they drew near, "Kindly
cooperate, and no one will get hurt.  Please hand over all of your valuables
and supplies." 

The four travelers looked around them, apparently unfazed when the bandits
revealed themselves and surrounded the group.  

"You dare try to rob the mighty Naga the White Serpent?" Naga boomed, coming
to a stop in front of Marcus.  

The chief bandit paled at the mention of her name, which sent shivers of
satisfaction running down her spine.  All of which was lost with his next
uttering...  

"Naga? As in Lina Inverse's sidek-URK!" Marcus asked as eloquently as he
could manage with Naga's heel wedged firmly in his throat.  

"No, you miserable fool!" Naga barked as she shoved him onto his back.  "SHE
has nothing to do with this!" Looking into his terrified eyes, she grinned
and mouthed the words "mono.  volt." 

The bandit leader shrieked in pain as he slumped unconscious.  

"Oh-HOHOHO!" Naga laughed, a maniacal gleam to her eyes.  "Come on Mari-chan,
let us show the flat-chested taskmaster what you've learned!" 

"Hai!" Mari answered brightly, bringing her hands together and casting,
"Fireball!" 

The bandits, realizing that they were, in fact, in for a world of hurt,
decided to act in the only rational manner available to them.  They turned
tail and ran, gibbering in terror.  

"Oh-HOHOHOHO!" Naga cackled as she went into action.  "BURST ROND!" 

Several balls of flame flew in every which direction, sending the bandits
into even more of a panic.  She followed up with a few fireballs launched
towards the backs of the retreating Marauders, with Mari following her
example.

Actinaea watched her pupil cast a series of Fireballs, nodding her
grudging approval.  Not to be left behind, she too joined in the fray.

Getehl, meanwhile, had started to unsling his sword.  Upon seeing as how the
girls seemed to have everything well in hand, he instead elected to sit back
and watch the entertainment.

"Flare Arrow!"

"Aieeeee!"

"Freeze Arrow!"

"Mommy!"

"Fireball!"

"Not in the face!  Not in the face!"

Between the three spellcasters, short work was made of the band of highway
robbers, and those who hadn't managed to run away were either unconscious 
or wishing they were.

Mari made herself busy tying up all of the bandits, while Getehl made sure 
they relieved the would-be muggers of their ill-gotten monies. An 
exasperated Actinaea attempted to formulate a complaint about the poor
role-model Naga was providing for Mariposa, but wasn't having much success. 

Naga was, of course, busy harassing Marcus after slapping him back to 
wakefulness.

"Oh-HOHOHO!  Do you dare mention that other one now?" Naga demanded of
Marcus.  Marcus shook his head vigorously, to which Naga smiled.  "Good.
Now what do you have to say?" 

Marcus gulped.  "Um, would you believe me if I said there was a troll behind
you?" 

"Oh-HOHOHO! The White Serpent is not so gullible as to fall for such an
obvious ploy!" Naga laughed, falling silent when she felt Getehl tap her on
the shoulder.  "What is it?" she asked.

"Um, there IS a troll behind us.  And one in front of us.  And all around us." 

"Friends of yours?" Naga demanded of Marcus, squinting her eyes.  Again,
Marcus shook his head vigorously in reply.  Looking up, Naga caught sight of
a group of about twenty trolls, apparently drawn out of the deep forest by 
the commotion.  "Damn. Well, here we go again..." 

Amid the shouts of "Freeze arrow!" and "Mega Brand!", the four managed to
get split up in the ensuing chaos -- Getehl and Actinaea in one group, Naga
and Mariposa in the other.  

Actinaea was characteristically cool under fire, picking off the trolls
one-by-one as they rushed her.  The methodically encased her opponents in
blocks of ice in her usual unflappable manner.

For his part, Getehl found himself filled with the same strange berzerker
rage that he had felt the previous day, and charged into a group of trolls.  
Slashing and parrying, he cut a swath through the group, hoping to do enough
damage to counteract their regenerative powers.

Meanwhile, Naga was having troubles dealing with the attacking trolls and
keeping an eye on Mari, who appeared to be having trouble concentrating on
casting spells.  Several of Mari's fireballs flew wide of their intended
targets, and it was only a matter of time before...

"Mono Vol-- aieeee!!" cried Mari as her attempted spell backfired.  The bolt
of electricity coursed up through her body and she was thrown backwards onto
the ground, catching her arm under her.  

Swearing under her breath, Naga lashed out with a Demona Crystal, hoping to
stall the trolls for a couple of minutes.  She dropped to one knee by Mari's 
side.  "Are you hurt?" she asked.

"No, but I ripped up my thumbnail," Mari offered, as she held her injured
digit out for Naga's inspection.  

"B-b-b-blood!" Naga shrieked.  She managed to whisper, "I'm so delicate,"
before fainting.  Mari tried to prop up the fallen sorceress and failed,
looking up to see herself surrounded by a gang of trolls. 

Babbling in fear, Mari raised her hands and tried to cast any offensive
spell that might work.  She was about to give up when a tall man with
straight shoulder-length red hair stepped out of the woods and drew a sword.

The blade of the sword blazed with a brilliant blue glow as it seemed to
dance through the air.  The man leaped, bobbed, and weaved among the trolls
as his sword severed flesh and limbs from the large monsters.  

After dispatching the last of them, his blade stopped glowing and he
resheathed it.  Mari found herself unable to move as he turned and approached
her.  

The man gently took Mari's jaw in his hand and slowly turned her head as he
studied her.  "Flutter away, little butterfly," he said.  "You don't have to
get caught up in all of this." 

He turned to face Naga, who was just sitting up. "Naga," he nodded in 
acknowledgment.  "My name is Torr.  I will leave you this day, but I warn 
you now to abandon your quest.  If you continue, I will be forced to stop 
you."  And with that, he disappeared into the forest.  

"Who was that?" Mari asked breathlessly, gazing intently into the foliage.  

Naga frowned and answered, "I'm not sure.  But I get the feeling we'll be
seeing him again, soon enough." 

Getehl and Actinaea came running up behind them, gasping for air.  

"Are you both all right?" Getehl asked.  "I saw Naga-san go down, and then
Mari-chan was surrounded by those trolls." 

"Yeah, we're fine.  Let's get on to the next town.  I could really use a nice
hot bath." 

Shaken, tired, but not quite battered, the four adventurers continued on
their way.  

FIN (chapter 3) 

- = - 

AUTHOR'S NOTES: [or, In Which Ravi Realizes How Dumb He Really Is] 

So I sign up for this story, figuring I know enough about the Slayers
universe to handle it.  Boy, was I ever wrong...  I'd seen the first series,
and the majority of the second and third, but it was quite a shock to
realize quite how much of the cosmology I didn't know.  Doh.  

I'm sure there's a lot of stuff that slipped through the cracks or that I
didn't make clear enough.  Please mail me and let me know if you have any
questions or comments.  

Thanks go out to The Author Formerly Known as Puu and to the Legendary
Phoebe for prereading, and to the folks at inverse.org, without whose
invaluable resources I would have been totally lost.  Special thanks to Todd
Harper, for starting the story and taking a look to make sure I didn't botch
anything major.

-r