"Naga-sama?" "Yes, Mari-chan? What is it?" "It's kinda scary down here..I can't even see where I'm going. I keep thinking I feel someone next to me." "Never fear, Mari-chan. That's just Feyik, standing next to you, doing his job." "Naga-san, I'm over here," Feyik's voice piped up from the other side of Naga. "...Yes, well, fear not, Mari-chan, it's just Getehl." "Naga-san, did you say my name?" Getehl asked from the other side of Feyik. "*Lighting*," Naga chanted, a small ball of light illuminating the tunnel set before them. The light spell, however, illuminated the bodies of upwards of fifteen guards that flanked the adventurers at all sides. The four looked like deer caught in the proverbial headlights. For several moments, neither side moved an inch, both too surprised to move. The other set of headlights, however, broke the silence. "OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOO!!!!! Attack!" ------------------------ Slayers Glorious! Chapter 17: Matrimony! It's a nice day for a White (Serpent) Wedding! By Cactus. Started by Todd Harper ------------------------ The Nomad King stared at himself in a full length mirror. He flexed, admiring his overly impressive physique. He grinned into the mirror, his teeth sparkling in the light. He curled his mustache, winking at the reflection winking back at him. "Quite impressive, Milord." A short, bespectacled servant walked into the room. He put a stool behind the Nomad King and climbed on top. He pulled out a turban and adjusted it on the King's head. "She'll no doubt be stunned by your masculine charms, Milord." The King's booming voice erupted into bellowing laughter. "Of course she will. I am the *sexiest* king in this desert. She'll have no choice but collapse before my rippling muscles." "Milord, might I point out, you're the only king in this desert." The King sweatdropped, but recovered his posture quickly. "No matter. Let us place me in my royal garb so I may meet this wonderous vixen, who will no doubt be screaming my name by the night's end" Now it was the servant's turn to sweatdrop. "Er...Of course, Milord." He combed the King's neatly trimmed beard and then moved on to the eyebrows. "Do you want me to prepare the sacrifice for the wedding?" The servant hopped off the stool, and pulled a cape from the closet. "No, I've decided that this time around, I want...A Sailunian wedding. You know the kind--A bride in a white dress walking down the aisle to meet the groom, while an organ plays beautiful music. Arrange that for me, if you could, Philbert." "Of course, Milord," He slung the cape over the broad shoulders of the king. "You do realize, however, the people will need a little time to learn yet another ceremony..." The King fiddled with his cape, "Very well. Just be sure to instruct them on every aspect of the wedding." "And we don't have an organ, Milord. We're nomads. It'd be awfully hard to cart around while moving from place to place." "What do we have?" The king flung his hair behind the cloak. "My uncle can play the harmonica, if that helps." "Just get any of my citizens that can play an instrument. All I want is for my bride to walk down the aisle to beautiful music." "It will be done, Milord." "Good. Now let's go meet the bride." ------------------------ Combat in the absence of light takes a lot of practice to truly perfect. You have to overcome several obstacles that may prevent you from attacking the oppostion. First and foremost, it's dark. This presents several problems to the blind combatant. "Hold still so I can hit you! FIREB--ack!" Mariposa began. She was cut off by the rock she tripped over and her face impacting in the loose dirt below. Secondly, one's aim in the dark is greatly reduced. Reduced to the point where you could easily hit the hand in front of your face with a spell, but little else. This creates the problem known as "Friendly Fire". "FREEZE ARROW!!" Getehl ducked the oncoming burst of ice from Naga's hands, praying for his safety. He swung his sword at what he thought to be a nomad guard next to him. A sword blocked his own, the the warriors pressed towards one another to gain an advantage. Their faces got closer as they both tried to take control of the duel. However, the faces looked very familiar to each other close up. "Feyik-san?" "Getehl?" "Crap." The two echoed each other and broke apart, searching for an actual opponent. Naga heard the sound of footsteps behind her. "OHOHOHOHO!!" She flung a spell at the sound of the footsteps,"DIL BRAND!" The ground exploded around the feet of the guide Feyik as he swung his sword against an actual guard. The blow never reached, as Feyik was already airborne. Feyik's trajectory was the first sign of offense in the battle. He flew the air to land on several guards, knocking them down with large metal *CLANG*. He sat up, scratching his head as the guards lie motionless beneath him. The factor that shifted the tide of the battle for the better was Mariposa's magic. She had recovered from her earlier spill and had finally found someone to fight against. She reared hands back, chanted, and... "FIREBALL!!" The ball of flames struck the nomad guard straight in the crotch. He literally exploded into several different pieces, which flew around the room. Mariposa looked around for the guard, and after being unable to see him, she flung her arms in the air in a small victory dance. "WAI!! I GOT ONE!!" After seeing the blaze Mari had thrown, Naga and Getehl had a better idea of where the guards were. They descended upon them like rabid wolves. After the smoke had cleared, Naga raised her palm, "Lighting." The room lit up to reveal their defeated opponents--A bunch of empty suits of armor. "...I guess we're making our way through the castle...This must be the armory," Feyik mumbled, his forehead resting against his palm. The remainder of the party facefaulted "If anyone one of you ever mentions this happened--EVER-- You will personally face the wrath of the White Serpent." Naga stomped ahead, cursing under her breas--breath. ------------------------ The Nomad King walked down the hall, closely followed by his loyal servant Philbert, who was trying to keep up with the long strides of the king. Two guards scrambled out the door, attempting to rush down the hall, but were stopped by a simple hand motion from their king. "Chief! We didn't expect you! "And why is it you've abandoned your post at my bride's quarters?" The king stared hard at the two guards who kneeled before him, both looking as though they were about to soil themselves. "We were just going to get Actinaea-sama some food!" The guard on the left fumbled for an excuse. "Very well. An excuse well worth your trouble. However, you disobeyed my orders. A fiercer king would and *should* send you to the scorpion pit." The kingcurled his mustache with his fingers. Both guards dropped further to the ground, "Please not the scorpion pit!!!" The guards pleaded in stereo. "Very well. Just go help prepare for the wedding. And don't let this happen again, understand?" The king boomed. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou," The guards chorused, and stumbled past their king, bowing and scraping every step of the way. "In a bit of good mood, Milord? "I suppose the thought of my wedding tonight softened me up a bit. Or rather, the thought of my wedding night." The king smiled, and walked up to the door, rapping on it several times. "Enter," A beautiful voice chimed from beyond the door. The nomad king pushed open the door, and stepped extravagantly into the room. He looked towards the bed to find that his future bride looked less than happy. Her eyes glared daggers through him. Actinaea's glare, however, was not long in lasting. She looked over the king, and quickly went from glaring daggers of hate to going starry eyed. "I....I...." Actinaea began. "Greetings, I am Hindan, the noble king of the nomads. I am honored to meet you, Lady Actinaea. I am sure we will have a wonderful life together." For a few months, the king thought to himself. "I....I..." Actinaea stammered. "My, you are a sight of beauty. Has everything been to your liking in your accomodations?" The king asked her, his eyes quickly melting any defense the teenage(i.e emotional as all get out) Actinaea had. "I....I..." Actinaea tried futily to form a sentence. "I trust my bride to be can speak more than just a vowel, correct?" The king grinned at her. "...Yes, I'm sorry, I was just...That is...I was kind of.." "Looking me up and down and undrerssing me with your eyes, I would think." The king stated bluntly. "..." Actinaea furiously blushed. "Well, make no mistake, milady, I am as taken with your beauty as you are with mine." The king's teeth sparkled in the light as he smiled at Actinaea. "Re--really?" "Of course, your beauty rivals that of the greatest sunset. A man could get lost in your eyes." Actinaea swooned. She was expecting something less of the king than what she recieved. The hormonally-driven Actinaea put her face in her hands to hide the blush that was forming at her cheeks. "I don't know what to say." "Then say nothing more and let me gaze at your stunning beauty. Tis quite the pity I must leave you to prepare." "Prepare?" "Of course. We are to be married in just a few hours, my bride." Actinaea gasped, and looked around the room, seemingly scared at the idea of marriage. The king stepped forward. "Do you not find this agreeable? I must insist the wedding be tonight." "No, it's just that...I have NOTHING to wear. I mean, I need to have a dress...And my hair is in ruins.. And I...I..I mean this all so sudden." "I'll take care of your beauty needs, Milady," Philbert stepped up, "Why, we'll have you looking like a queen in no time." "There, that's settled." The king turned on his heel and stepped torward the door. "Um...Aren't I a little...young to be getting married?" Actinaea looked nervous. "Your youth only makes you that much more beautiful. I trust you have no further objections?" The king smiled as Actinaea numbly shook her head, "Good." ------------------------ Naga and company slowly made their way through the lower levels of the fortress. Progress was not as speedy as anyone would have liked. The stairs were large and spiralling. Whomever had designed this castle made sure to dig very, very deep. "Naga-sama, I'm tired...Can't we take a break?" Mariposa whined. "Wait just a few more levels, Mari-chan. We must be almost there. How many levels can a nomad castle *have*?" Naga whined. "A good ten or twelve." Feyik mumbled, fearing death after divulging that bit of information. When the blow didn't come, Feyik exhaled. He looked over at his travelling companions. They were worn out, and storming a wedding in their condition could not be healthy. "I say we take a break. I mean, we still have a few hours before the opening ceremonies of the wedding. We can afford a rest." Feyik tried to cheer up the trio, who were already sitting down. "Feyik-san, I have a question," Getehl monotoned. "Hai?" "These people are nomads, right?" "H-hai." "Then why is it they have a fortress this big? I mean, wouldn't it be kinda hard to move from place to place?" "It's more of a base than anything, Getehl-san. They run around, pillage, hunt, and steal, and then come back here." "Shouldn't the people find the king just a *little* unacceptable? You've said he remarries constantly..." "Well, one would think that, but as it is, they've actually prospered since Hindan became king. You see, a wedding boosts the morale of the citizens. And Hindan is more than a little bit of a lecher. Women fall at the sight of him, and he enjoys their attention. So, he marries, takes an extensive honeymoon, and returns. Then he gets sick of his bride, and marries a new one. So the people pretty much don't mind. The king is horny, they're happy, and hard working. Kinda stupid, really." "Ohohohoho....Do you think anyone would mind if we just waited the two months to get little Ace-chan back?" Naga moaned, rubbing her feet through her boots. "Naga-sama!" "Fine, Mari-chan, fine. We'll rescue her. In a mintue. Or after a nap." "Naga-san, this is a royal wedding. They will no doubt be serving rare wines." Getehl commented. Getehl, Feyik and Mariposa had to run in order to catch up with the White Serpent climbing stairs. ------------------------ Philbert sweatdropped at the collection of "musicians" that stood before him. It was almost enough to make him cry. He looked on as they scanned over the music for Wedding March. The king would not be terribly pleased. Philbert remembered the countless weddings the people had held for their king. Each and every time he changed things up. If region had a different ceremony than another, they had no doubt held a wedding of that type at some point in the past. He shook his head slightly at the memories. The worst wedding had to have been the tribal wedding the King had held several weddings back. In that ceremony, people danced around a fire to unite the King and Queen. Then the King and Queen painted each others faces. That hadn't been so bad. The part that still gave him nightmares was the fact that the marriage had to be consumated in a tent surrounded by the people. The memories of the sounds inside of that tent could send Philbert into fits of spasms. He had sworn he heard a moose. Of course, in close second had to have been the eastern ceremony. It was beautiful...It just took 47 hours to complete. And then there was the one that required acrobats, a rare species of cow, and a contortionist priest. Philbert quickly snapped out of his revereie. He had to focus on the task at hand. He turned to the musicians. The band consisted of the more musically talented of the people. His uncle harmonica, a young man on a elaborate guitar, an old woman and a piece of grass, the butcher on the bongos, and the baker on the banjo. "I don't know if I can play this." A young man with a large clay jug said, looking over the sheet music set before him. Philbert's head sunk. ------------------------ Actinaea stared at her white-dressed reflection in the mirror before her. She had been made up by several servants just an hour ago, and she hadn't moved from her seat at the mirror since. She admired her reflection. She looked...Perfect. Regal. She smiled to herself. Actinaea rested her chin on her hands and stared at the mirror in thought. Someone outside the room rapped on the door several times. It was several minutes before Actinaea even took notice of the knocking on the door. Finally, she snapped out of her thoughts and stepped up to answer the door. It was Philbert, holding several garments under his arm. "Ah! I see the dress fits you. Good, good. Milord will be pleased. My you are a sight, at that. I'll do my best to meet your needs for as long as you're here..." Philbert caught his mistake quickly, and continued on, "Which will no doubt be until you and the king grow old together. Heh." "Thank you, Philbert," Actinaea smiled. "Here, I was sent to give you this. It's customary of a Sailunian wedding," Philbert handed her a large ornate veil, "I'm sure it will complete your rather stunning appearance." Actinaea took a long, careful time putting the veil over her face. As she finally finished, she looked at her shrouded image in the mirror through the veil. ------------------------ The people of the fortress began to gather in the fortress' center. They had been preparing for the wedding since yesterday, and with careful practice, preparing a wedding was something they were close to perfect at. Everything was planned to perfection. A long red carpet was flanked by rows and rows of benches which held those attending the wedding. A beatiful altar stood at one end of the aisle. Everyone had their finest clothing on, from the oldest adult to youngest child. The entire town was there, and ready to witness the wedding of their king for the 32nd time. Everyone was in high spirits, and waited patiently for the ceremony to begin. After long minutes of waiting, their king began the long march down the aisle to wait for his bride. He was dressed for perfection in a long flowing cape and many robes. His turban had a large jewel where his head met the cloth of the turban. He waved to his people as he walked, smiling and getting a large round of cheers because of it. The King ceased his stride at the altar, and looked down the aisle where he knew his bride would be arriving shortly.The musicians were given the cue to begin the wedding march. All in all, they didn't sound terrible. It would probably be the strangest assortment of instruments to play the wedding march, but for all intents and purposes, they did their job well. Well, the banjo was slightly off key, but not even the king noticed. The people eyes all stared down the aisle, waiting with bated breath for their temporary queen to walk down the aisle. After about two minutes had passed, the natives were getting restless. "I'M NOT GOING OUT THERE!!!" Actinaea shriekd at the Philbert, who was carefully protecting his face from the claws that were trying to remove it from him. "Please, Milady, every bride gets butterflies, just walk down the aisle." "No! I'm too young to be getting married! YOU walk down the aisle!!!" "Please! Think of the king!!" Philbert awaited the deathblow waiting for him,. but sighed with relief when it didn't come. He looked up to see a much calmer Actinaea, "Are you alright, Milady?" Actinaea's face was blank. Dum dum da dum. Dum dum da dum. She listented through the curtain to the tune that was being played on the other side. She felt her knees get weak, but slowly she began to walk towards the door. The audience breathed a sigh of relief when Actinaea walked down the aisle, dress, flowers, veil and all. Philbert led her down the aisle by her elbow, and the crowd cheered. As she reached the altar, the young girl felt her stomach turn. Her fears were disuaded however, when she turned to look into the yes of her husband-to-be. She smiled up at him, and the preist that stood between them opened a book. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of King Hindan the first and Lady Actinaea in the bonds of Holy Matrimony." Actinaea nervously looked from side to side. She knew she'd get married someday, but she'd wanted a few people she actually knew to be there. She sighed, and glanced up at the king, who smiled his most alluring smile, and once again, Actinaea calmed down. The preist continued, "Should there be anyone who has cause why this couple should not be united in marriage, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace." A dead silence followed. The preist cleared his throat, and opened his mouth to continue. "Do you, King Hind---" "OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!! The White Serpent has cause and reason why this lecher and this flat chested maiden should not be married!" Naga stood at the opposite end of the aisle, flanked by Mariaposa, Getehl and Feyik, who were all prepared for combat. The preist blinked at Naga's appearance, "What reason do you have for these two to not be married?" "Ohohohohohoho!!! Because I said so! Come Ace-chan, let us escape!" "No! What if I don't want to?" Actinaea scowled at Naga. The Nomad King motioned for the preist to continue. "Do you, King Hindan the firs--" "Waitaminute! Actinaea-sama, lets go! We have to get the bell, remember?" Mariposa looked to her mentor, who was torn between the two sides. "Guards! Remove them!" The king Bellowed. No one got between him and his nookie. A small force of guards charged Naga and company, and a battle to reach the altar began. Getehl; made small work of several guards who were unprepared for his skill, and rushed past them. "Hurry it up!" The king glowered at the preist. "Do you?" The preist loked towards the king. "I do." The King held Actinaea's arm firmly, so she could not be so easily escape. "Actinaea! Come on!" Getehl yelled at the young girl. He fought past another guard, and was quickly approaching the altar. "Do you?" The preist looked at Actinaea. "I..." "Actinaea, I love you.." The King flashed his smile. "Actinaea, he's lying! He's married and remarried more times than you can count!" Getehl slammed the hilt of his sword into a guard's face, "Come on, hurry up!" "Is he telling the truth?" Actinaea glared at the king. "I...Well...Not exactly...I have had a divorce or two..." The King Stammered. "Do you, or don't you?" The preist spoke firmly, very clearly agitated by the days events. "I......DIL BRAND!" Actinaea launched her spell at the feet of the king, launching him into the air. She hopped off the altar, and grabbed Getehl's arm, running towards the rest of their party. Naga saw that Actinaea had been rescued, and grinned evily at the reamainder of the guards. The guards shrank back, wondering what the dominatrix-like sorceress could be planning. She gathered mana in her hands, and looked torwards the guards, "MEGA BRAND!!!" The ground beneath the guards and several rows of the audience exploded from beneath them, causing the people to join their king in the skies. Acinaea, now reunited with her friends, used the chaos caused by the wedding to quickly escape through the front entrance. They looked around at each other smiling. However, they did notice someone was missing.... ------------------------ The king slowly opened his eyes. He shook his head to clear his vision, and slowly stood up on wobbly legs. He looked around to see his people scattered around the town square, and then his eyes locked with those of someone directly in front of him. "Ah--heh. You're not still mad about me stealing your patrons, are you? Let's just let bygones, be bygones, eh?" The king stuttered to an angry Feyik. "Sure. You're forgiven. I knew you meant nothing by it. Leaving me in the desert to die. Little practical joke. You big kidder, you." Feyik reared back and punched the King so hard his Grandmother's teeth fell out of her head. Feyik stalked towards the exit, feeling much better about the whole situation in general. ------------------------ "Y'know, I hate to say it, but it's great to be back with you guys." The teen Actinaea smiled, still clad in a slightly battle-worn wedding dress. "Really?" Mariaposa looked curiously to her teacher. "Yeah. Despite having to deal with the Twit Serpent, you're all fun to be around. Mari, Naga, G-getehl..Thanks for rescuing me, you guys." "Hardly even a task worthy of the WHITE Serpent, but you are welcome, at any rate. Besides, I managed to get ahold of some rather rare vintage. When are we setting up camp?" Naga asked, several bottles of wine tucked under her arms. "Anytime you guys are ready. You ought to do it soon, though. We're taking an early start tomorrow. We do have a desert to cross." Feyik walked up to the group, smiling contentedly and rubbing his knuckles. ------------------------ Authors notes: Wow. My biggest part yet. I'm actually pretty proud of it. There are lots of fun things one can do with a wedding, and I barely used half of them. I kept Actinaea as a teen so that the next couple of Authors could make use of the character, whom I think I did a mediocre job of writing. Many thanks go out to Ravi, who preread the majority of this part. If there are any errors, I am to blame, as Ravi probably didn't preread the last portion of the seg. Aside from that, I just hope you guys enjoy the part. Send any comments or criticisms to RDvll@aol.com. Flames will be eaten, as I am an accomplished circus performer.