Due to popular request (by one person, at least) and the wish of the author to write more pages for this chapter, we present: THE OTAKU WISH FULFILLMENT THEATRE EPISODE RECAP!!! [The theater curtains rise to reveal a classroom where SD versions of the cast are seated. SD Kate in front of the class, holding a laser pointer to the screen at her back.] SD Ard: (Looks down on herself) We're in SD mode! Wai! SD Dan: Yosh! (Flexes his arms.) SD Scott: And in script format, too. This is new. SD Illyria: ... SD Steve: My hair is more of a mess! Wai! All except Steve: ... SD Kate: Konnichiwa, minna-san! We are here to give you a recap of the events from the past 8 chapters or so. (She points to the screen as the scene changes to a picture of a roller coaster with six people riding.) As you may remember, we were but six normal impro people... SD Ard: Though with special impropowers. SD Steve: Not in RL, I'm afraid. SD Kate: *Ahem!* As I was saying, we were just simple normal people until a freak roller coaster incident transferred us to this world. (The scene on the screen changes to show them receiving powers from Ash, the Pokemon Master.) Each of us was given a special archtype and a mission to retrieve the seven Seals of Maguffin. (The screen now shows a picture split into six parts, each showing each of the main characters. Kate looks at the audience.) I received the power of a ninja! Isn't it cool? (She swirls around and poses.) SD Steve: (Looks at the audience) I got to be the sidekick. (Points to the bandanna on his head.) Looks cool? Not much use, though. I can only copy powers level one. SD Dan: (Nudges Steve) You're not acting SD enough. Say "Wai!" All except Steve and Illyria: WAI!!! SD Steve: (Deadpan) Wai. SD Dan: (Sweatdrops) Good enough. (Looks at audience) I got this really wicked sentai suit. Watch! (He transforms and poses.) All except Illyria: WAI!!! SD Ard: (Turns to audience) I got the power of a martial artist. (Shows off some cute kicks and punches) All except Illyria: WAI!!! (Everyone turns to look at Illyria. He's fallen asleep.) All except Illyria: ... (Scott goes over to Illyria and kicks him off the chair. Illyria lands awake. He nonchalantly shrugs and poses with a rose. Sparklies surround his SD form.) SD Illyria: I got the archetype of bishounen. I can also detect danger when my trenchcoat turns plaid. OFFSTAGE VOICE: Plaid? SD Illyria: Don't ask. (Sits down and returns to brooding.) All except Illyria: ... SD Steve: Anyway, Scott got the *best* archetype. (He and Dan grin and leer at Scott-chan. Scott turns red. The two chuckle.) SD Scott: (Cries, little anime streams of tears burst from her eyes) WAAAHHHH!!! Steve and Dan are MEAAAN!!! (Steve and Dan crack up. Scott continues wailing Usagi-style. Ard and Kate bap Steve and Dan.) SD Steve and SD Dan: Ow!!! SD Ard: Stop that! We won't finish in time for the chapter! (Hands tissue to Scott, who loudly blows her nose on it) SD Kate: (Turns to the audience) As you can see, Scott turned into Scott-chan and can turn into a magical girl. (Conspiratory whisper) He seems to be enjoying it, too. SD Scott: I do not! You're being mean, Kate!!! (Starts crying again) (Kate pushes a button on a little black box. Scott continues crying but no sound comes out.) SD Steve: What did you do? SD Kate: Pressed the mute button. (Puts the box inside her costume) Let's return to our recap. (Goes back to front of screen. Screen now shows a scene where the heroes are walking and the scenery changes behind them.) We've been travelling for an undetermined time now. (Shrugs) But since this is an RPG world, time is largely unimportant. (Scene now shows them holding up two seal.) We have already found two of the Seals. Isn't that cool? WAI!!! All except Illyria: WAI!!! (Scott merely mouths the words. He's still in mute.) SD Illyria: ... SD Kate: But we have a hidden set of enemy. (Scene shows a new scene but Kate immediately goes in front of it and covers it.) WAIT! We're not supposed to know the villains yet! Everyone! (The six cover their eyes with their hands as the scene behind Kate becomes clearer. It shows the group of Lady Brick, Rags, ElRutt, NeoVid and Yonjuuni, all in cute evil SD mode looking cutely evil.) SD Steve: Can we open our eyes now? SD Ard: (Whispers to Steve) Not yet. The evil guys haven't been given exposure for a while now. They're getting irritated. SD Dan: (Whispers to Ard and Steve) Yeah! And this is the only exposure they're going to get in this chapter anyway. (The expressions on the villains' faces transformed from sneers and scowls to open-mouthed surprise and angry shouts. The picture has no sound though. Kate pushed the picture offscreen.) SD Kate: Okay, we can open our eyes now. (All remove their hands from their eyes.) We've also met lots and lots of our friends in the place and learned lots of new things. (Pictures of the different authors the group met flashed by the screen. The present Author would have described them one by one, but he's too lazy.) In the end, we also picked up a mascot! (SD Damien Phoenix pops out of the left.) SD Damien: (Extends wings) Squawk-- er, I meant... Let's get on with the show! SD Kate: That's it for this recap! Thank you for watching! (Bows) We now go back to our regular chapter. (Starts to walk off the stage. Others follow behind.) SD Ard: (Whispers to others) That wasn't much of a recap. SD Dan: (Whispers) Shhh! The Author gave instructions not to point that out. SD Steve: (Whispers) At least, we're able to break the fourth wall in SD mode. SD Illyria: ... SD Scott: (Still in mute. Keeps motioning to the others to get their attention.) ... (Everyone leaves the stage. Curtain comes down.) END END END OTAKU WISH FULFILLMENT THEATER EPISODE RECAP 1 END END END Otaku Wish Fulfillment Theater Started by Scott "Scott-chan" Schimmel Chapter 9: Shopping and Upgrades... That, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree! ~_~; Three hours of walking non-stop and carrying six riders weighing about-- HEY!!! --er, sorry. Forgot that it's not nice to *THWAP!* OW!!! Okay, sheesh! Let's try that again... ~_~; Six hours of walking non-stop and carrying six riders was starting to take its toll on Damien. The manlike birdlike man or something was walking slower than when he first started and already panting. "He looks tired," Ardweden noted. She turned to her companions. "Maybe we should give him something to drink?" "With what?" Steve pointed out. "Scott and Kate drank the last of our water!" "Hey! We were thirsty!" Kate defended herself. Upon hearing this, Damien's eyes rolled up and he slumped to the ground, exhausted. "It appears as if our transportation is tired," Illyria pointed out nonchalantly. The others, except Dan, stared at him as he returned to brooding. Dan looked up from where he was studying their map. "Don't worry, guys. If this map and this Handy Dandy Town Locator(tm) I just recently discovered by accidentally pressing a wrong button on my suit"--he took a deep breath before continuing--"is right, we ought to be near a new town." "Wait a minute, since when did you have a Handy Dandy Town Locator(tm) and why didn't you tell us about it?" Scott asked. "I told you, I discovered it by accident," Dan answered. Looking at his suit again, he sweatdropped. "Er, and now that I recalled it, I forgot which button I pressed." Scott facepalmed. "So, where's the town?" Steve asked. "A few kilometers west of here," Dan said, pointing to the direction he indicated. He jerked a thumb towards Damien. "Think we should leave him?" "Hey, *gasp* I can *pant* understand you, *pant* you know," Damien reminded him. "Oh, yeah, sorry," Dan apologized. "Anyway, shouldn't we be heading towards the town now?" The others nodded. Steve and Dan carried the pooped-out Damien between them and the group trudged towards the town. ~_~; "So, like, where do you suppose the next Seal is?" Kate suddenly asked. "I don't know. Wasn't it explained in the last chapter?" answered Damien, who was feeling a bit better now. Ardweden raised an eyebrow in inquiry. "Last chapter?" Damien gulped. "Er, sorry, forget I said anything." The others, except Illyria who was too busy sweating under that heavy trenchcoat, twirled a finger in the air near their temples, making the internationally known symbol of "loony." ~_~; [Insert some joke here about the Author being a lazy creep who couldn't even keep one piece of dialogue going.] ~_~; "I guess this is the town," Dan pointed to the buildings. The town looked like an old medieval setting, seeing as how this story was loosely based on an RPG world and so required-- --Ahem, where was I? Oh, yeah! A guy was busy writing on a signboard in front of the town gates. Our intrepid heroes approached him. "Hi! Could you tell us where we are?" Steve inquired politely. The guy stopped scribbling and turned to him. "Welcome to Markstown!!!" The group sweatdropped. "Markstown?" Ardweden repeated a little uncertain. "Welcome to Markstown!!!" the guy repeated, grinning. Kate's curiosity was aroused. "Could you--" "Welcome to Markstown!!!" the man repeated. The group sweatdropped again. They backed off a bit and huddled. "Looks like we found the brother of that guy from Illyria," Scott commented. Ardweden and Kate giggled. "Please don't make use that name," Illyria requested bishounenly. "Anyway, looks like we're here to stay. Any Marks we know?" Dan inquired. "Hmmm... There's Mark Elliot, then there's Mark Poa..." Steve paled. "You realize how many Marks there are in the world? What if someone we know was named Mark but just doesn't use it for his impro name?" "It is a possibility," Illyria agreed. "Damien, are you molting?" "No." Scott held up a feather. Damien sweatdropped, snatched the feather, and thrusted it into... someplace in his person. "Must be the fatigue," Damien explained sheepishly. Kate suddenly giggled. "You know, I just realized something." "What?" said Ardweden. Kate pointed at the man they were talking to. He was back finishing the sign that now read "WELCOME TO M". "He's making that sign with a marker! Get it? Marker?" Kate giggled some more. The others sweatdropped. "I'm suddenly reminded of Xanth," Steve said to himself. "Anyway, let's look around," Dan suggested. "I think we need to buy new tents. The old ones are starting to fall apart." The others voiced no objections so they entered the town. ~_~; "What a quaint little town!" Ardweden noted. "Though it's not as nice as Illyria..." "Please don't say that," Illyria requested, sniffing on a rose. The group reached the town plaza where a nice-looking fountain was located. Several trees were planted in the area, providing shade and light breezes. A few birds were moving from branch to branch and twitting while they did. Steve surveyed the scene. "How idyllic," he noted. "Wai! Pretty flowers!" Steve and Dan turned towards Scott who was busy wai'ing over the pretty flowers. The former-boy-turned-magical-girl picked some of them and brought them to her nose. She took a deep breath. "You know, I'm feeling really glad I got the sentai suit," Dan commented. Steve nodded. Scott suddenly went into bouts of sneezing and coughing as the pollen from the flowers irritated her, ruining the scene. The others sweatdropped. "By dose. I theem to have a thniffle." Scott blew on her hankie before realizing that the others were looking at him. She groaned, realizing what she had done. "The universe hates--OOF!" Illyria withdrew her elbow from his gut. "Stop wasting your transformation. You're giving off too much fanservice." "Huh?" Scott asked the bishounen, but said bishounen was already standing away from him, posing dramatically while a wind stirs up his trenchcoat in cool Matrixy fashion. Out of the blue, two burly men in tights and funny masks came running towards the plaza screaming "RARRGGH!!!" Their path was taking them directly towards Ardweden. "Eeeek!!!" Ardweden screamed, putting in a good four E's, as the men leapt and dove towards her. Twenty seconds later, they were stuck on the street, heads buried and legs sticking out in ridiculous angles. Ardweden was panting. Scott came nearer and poked one of the legs with a stick. It twitched, making a *ping, ping* sound. "Hey, cool! Let me try that." Scott passed Kate the stick. She poked the other guy's legs. It also twitched comedically, making those little *ping, ping* sounds. We could continue on with this scene for everyone of the characters, but it could get tired. Besides... "Ping, ping ain't easy!" ... ... ... Er, *Ahem* Let's continue, shall we? "There seems to be a lot of them in that area," piped in Dan, pointing to the area behind the town Toy Store. The group saw an open field. Several mats were laid out with big burly men grunting and wrestling with each other. "A wrestling ring in a medieval town?" said Steve, arcing an eyebrow. "You know, I..." Kate snapped her fingers. "Could they be... wrestling 'marks?'" She grinned. The others facepalmed. Scott pointed to the opposite open field. There, several people were firing arrows at several other men with bull's eyes drawn on their shirts. Don't worry. The arrow were of the flat sticky toy variety, not real arrows. No person was harmed in the making of this episode. An arrow hit Kenny, decapitating him. Well, except for him. "Ohmigod, they killed Kenny!" Damien shouted. "THE BASTARDS!!!" Dan shouted. The two looked at each other. "What in HFIL came over us?" they asked simultaneously. "Let me guess. 'Marksmen,'" Steve guessed. Ardweden nodded. "But what were those guys with the bull's eyes on their shirts?" "I don't know." Steve shrugged. Then he pointed at the town weapons store, with the nameplate "Weapons Market." Scott facepalmed. "Since we're going for supplies, how about checking that out?" "Shouldn't we be looking for a supply store instead of a weapons store?" Kate piped in. "They're usually different in RPGs." "But aren't they the same in Slayers?" Dan asked. "Maybe," Ardweden answered. "Anyway, there doesn't seem to be any other store around here. Except for that Toy store." "What would a toy store be doing in an RPG?" Scott asked. "Haven't you played Brave Fencer?" Kate asked back with a grin. "Okay, let's head inside that weapons store!" She raised an arm. "Onward!" The others sweatdropped, shrugged and followed her inside. ~_~; The group entered the store and looked around. It was fairly nondescript. There were the standard swords hanging on the walls, the complete suit of armor displayed on the window, the signs that said "NO REFUNDS" and "YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT"... fairly regular weapon store stuff. The storekeeper was arranging something on the shelves. He had his back turned to the group. "Be with you in a moment," he announced. "You know, I'm beginning to get a bit irritated by all these Mark puns," Damien announced to the others. "If I see another Mark reference, I'll--" The storekeeper finished his task and turned towards the group. He adjusted his glasses. "Hi, guys!" "Mark Poa?" Steve said. "ARGGGHHHHH!!!" Damien flipped out and ran out of the store. The others sweatdropped. "What's his problem?" Mark inquired. "Must have been the pressure," Kate suggested. "He probably won't go far, though, since he's still in our party." "Party, Miss Kate?" Mark asked. "Oh, you're a traveling band of heroes. I see. Looking for weapons, Steve? Ard?" He moved towards some axes on display. Ardweden looked at him curiously. "You seem to be taking this pretty well. Do you even know how you got here?" Mark shrugged. "I just woke up and here I am. The other townspeople said I was their weapons master, so..." "And you like it here?" Scott asked. "Hey, I don't recognize you. Who're you?" "That's Scott," Dan supplied. "Scott Schimmel?" Mark looked again. "Boy, I don't *want* to know what happened to you!" "And that's Illyria," Ardweden pointed out Illyria, who was busy looking at some scabbards on the rack. Mark sweatdropped. "And the birdlike manlike bird who just left?" "Damien." "Ahh, fitting," Mark said. "Anyway, I don't necessary like it here. It has its disadvantages." "Such as?" Steve asked. "Let me show you." Mark went to the entrance of the store, opened it and called out. "HEY, MARK!" The people walking by his store all turned to look at him. "Oops! Sorry!" he called back. They shrugged and continued walking. Mark returned to the group to find them sweatdropping. "See?" "Even the women?" Kate asked, wide-eyed. Mark nodded. "That's weird," Illyria noted. "Anyway, you guys look around. Maybe you'll see some stuff that might interest you. I'll be in the back," Mark offered, going to the back of the store. Kate shrugged. "Might as well. Maybe we can get some cool weapons here!" They browsed around the store. ~_~; "How come I can't use any of these weapons?" Steve complained. He had just picked up an axe and it immediately flew back on the display. "Maybe there's no weapons made for the Sidekick Archetype," Kate suggested. She looked at some ninja darts and grimaced. "Ewww... I don't think I can use any of these when we fight. It's going to be messy." "I agree," Ardweden agreed, running a hand along the edge of a sword on display. "I really don't want to use any of these." She sighed. "I miss my lute." Ardweden turned to Illyria and Dan. "Aren't you guys going to check these out?" "I don't need weapons," Dan said, flashing a V-sign. "My sentai suit contains all that I need." "If you can get them to work," Steve mumbled. Illyria just held up his sword for them to see and continued staring moodily out of the window. "Hey, where'd Scott go?" Kate suddenly realized. "I'm here!" Everyone turned to see Scott fully dressed in Warrior Princess duds, complete with weapons. She was grinning. "This way, I don't have to use that humiliating magical girl persona! I can take care of myself," she announced. Kate eyed the armor. Calculating their combined weight and noting the stressed expression on Scott-chan's face, she asked, "Can you actually *move* in that?" Scott grinned sheepishly. "Ahahaha, that's the teensy problem." She strained to lift her armored arm. "It's a little bit heavy, but it's better than the magical girl outfi--WHA!? Whoooaaah!!!" Despite windmilling her arms to regain her balance, Scott fell flat on her back from the weight of the armor. The magical girl collapsed in a heap of different metallic parts and stuff. A hand emerged from the pile and gave a thumbs up. "I'm okay," Scott's teeny voice said from the pile before her arm immediately slumped down. The others sweatdropped. Mark emerged from the back. "I heard a noise. Is there--" He saw the pile of armor and Scott. His eyes narrowed as he turned to the group and pointed to the sign "YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT." "You guys are paying for that," he announced in a sinister tone. "Nice going, Scott!" Steve grimaced. Kate tried to mentally calculate the gold they'd have to pay. Mark grinned. "Just kidding, guys. It's no problem." The group breathed a collective sigh of relief. "Anyway, I was just in back and I came across some stuff you might find more appealing." He held up a musical instrument. "Hey, that's a lute!" Ardweden immediately ran towards her preferred mode of assault. Mark handed it to her before she bowled him over. "Does it have chibifying abilities?" Ard asked excitedly. "Er, I'm afraid not. It does hurt someone a lot if you hit someone with it," Mark explained. "Oooh! Can I have this? Can I?" she asked. "Sure," Kate said. "We have some extra money." Her gaze turned to the weapons she was checking out earlier. "Not that we're going to buy that stuff anyway." "WAI!!!" Ard wai'ed and hugged the lute. She ran around the store. "Spirited, ain't she?" commented Steve. Turning to Mark, he asked, "Do you have anything for me?" "I'm afraid we don't have anything that can be used by a Sidekick. But I do have a bokken lying around." Steve sighed. "Whatever," Steve accepted the bokken from Mark. "Gee, a level 1 weapon for a level one fighter." "It does have the attribute of raising the bearer's skill points and strength points by 1." "How?" "I don't know. I just sell them," Mark explained. "I had a sword of Duality..." Illyria's ears perked up. "...unfortunately, it was stolen just last night," Mark finished. Illyria sighed and resumed looking out the window. "Do you have anything that can change a magical girl's costume?" Scott inquired. Mark shook his head. "No, but you could try the dress shop across the plaza. The dressmaker there makes nice clothes." "Any others?" Kate asked. "I think that's all the specials I have around here. Though if you want, I can sell you a Cloak of Invisibility that renders its wearer invisible and add 3 speed points," Mark offered. "Nah, it won't be any use for me," replied Kate. "Well, I have the other stuff you wanted wrapped up." Mark gave the bundle of supplies to Dan, who added them to their inventory. "See ya guys!" He waved as he led them out. "I was just thinking," Kate suddenly said. "What?" Steve added, because someone had to. He made a few practice swings on his bokken. "In some RPGs, the same weapons seller appears in different towns during the quest. Wonder if..." Kate and Steve looked back at the Weapons Market, then back at each other. "Nah!" they said simultaneously. ~_~; They found Damien Phoenix near the entrance of the town. "Calmed down now?" Dan asked. Damien nodded. "Good," Illyria said before jumping on Damien's back. "OOF!!!" Damien exclaimed. "What did you do that for?!" Illyria was too busy brooding to listen. "Don't worry, Damien," Ard comforted the hurt manlike birdlike man thingie. "I'll play you a song so that you won't get easily tired from carrying us." She grinned and held up her beloved lute. Damien groaned. "We're moving out again?" "Yep," Kate agreed and climbed up. Steve was the last to climb aboard. "Onward!" Dan announced, posing. "TO THE NEXT SEAL!" Damien sighed and trudged on. ~_~; Sometime that night, in a little town called Markstown, a cry was heard. "I forgot to get their payment for the weapons! ARRGGHHH!!!" ~_~; Xellos chuckled as he cradled the Sword of Duality in his clutches. His master will be pleased. ~_~; TO BE CONTINUED... ****** Author's notes: This was fun to write. ^_^;;; Though it was a bit hard to come up with the time to *actually* write it. Apologies that this did not pass through any prereader. I only finished it...[Looks at clock] weeeell, I made the deadline, at least. ^_^;;; No offense meant to anyone in any of the situations. I hope you guys (especially the author avatars) enjoyed my take on the series. ^_~ Some of the ideas here were from chit-chat I had with Scott Schimmel and Steve Scougall. Scott, I'm afraid I couldn't use the "someone falls in love with Scott-chan" angle. Steve, now you know what I've been babbling about doing. ^_~ What were the guys with Bull's eyes in their T-shirt? They're Hit Marks in Training. ^_~ That joke I have to credit to Jonatan, who's IFR's resident Hit Mark in Training. I'll shut up now. Mark Poa ^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^