Otaku Wish Fulfillment Theatre
Started by Scott Schimmel

Chapter 14:  To play or to pay...That, and Dancing Scotsmen in Kilts are
really sexy!
By Delfina

H_H

"Listen to my wonderful idea!  I am great!  I am invincibl--urk!"  The
speaker was immediately crushed by a raging mob.

Scott sweatdropped.  "Um, that's the fifth one."

Ardweden nodded.  "I don't think they encourage self-confidence here, do
they?"

"What are those people doing?" Kate asked, pointing at a small crowd
that was looking expectantly at the sky.

Steve shrugged.  "Let's ask."  He walked over to the small group.  "What
are you doing?"

In unison, they replied, "We are waiting."

"Waiting?  For what?"

"For Evanjellydonut."  As one the group turned its focus back to
observing the sky.

"Let's move along, shall we?" Dan suggested, looking somewhat nervously
at the group.

Illyria struck a pose, his hair being swept gently by the wind.  "Yes.
Let us find the Seal."

"...Right."

^_~

"This city is a maze!" Kate complained.  "And the people aren't very
good at giving directions.  They're all either waiting for something, or
trying to kill each other!  How are we going to ever get to that silly
temple?"

"Can we use the bird?" Dan pointed at Damien.  Damien shook his head.

"No way.  I am not flying up there with all of you.  And besides, it's a
no-fly zone."

Scott stared at Damien.  "A what?"

"A no-fly zone.  The Goddesses have prohibited flying creatures and
aircraft from flying over cities or temples or other such places.  It's
why everyone has to get off before we go into the city."

Kate snapped her fingers. "Right!  I remember that rule!  That's why you
always leave the airship outside of the town!"

"And besides, look at all of the flame wars!  I don't want to get burned
out of the sky."  He pointed towards some nearby explosions.

"Nah, I'm sure you'd be fine.  You're a great flier, Dame!  We believe
in you!" Ardweden smiled brightly at Damien, who blushed a bit.

"We could throw Steve up in the air to see," Illyria suggested, before
grabbing Steve and tossing him up in the air.

*BOOM*

A slightly singed Steve came crashing down.

"Well.  Never mind then," Kate hurriedly said.

"Do any of you hear bagpipes?" Dan asked.  The party paused a moment.

"Yes, yes I do," Ardweden said.  "They're this way, I think..."

"They're PERFECT!"  The party turned to look at a crowd of strangely
dressed folk who looked like magical girl wannabes.

"Perfect? Well, I know I'm perfect, but as for the rest of them..."
Scott started, before being cut off.

"You are the ones we want!" the leader of the group cried, pointing at
Illyria and Scott.  "Get them!"  Before anyone could blink, the crowd
swarmed over Illyria and Scott, trussed them up and ran off with them.
Ardweden, Kate, Dan and Steve were knocked to the sides by the
out-of-control mob and had no chance to react.  By the time they brushed
themselves off and stood up again, Scott, Illyria, and the crowd were
out of sight.

"That was...odd." Dan said.  "Where'd they go?"

"Illyria?  Scott?  Where are you?" Kate peered down the street trying to
catch a glimpse of their friends.

"No clue...but it's really amazing how they got Illyria...wow." Steve
replied, looking around.  Turning, he spotted a sign hanging on a door
that had conveniently just come to his attention.  "Hint shop?"

"Hint shop?  Ooh, let's go in there!" Kate exclaimed. "I'm sure whoever
is inside will be able to help us!"  She briefly checked their
inventory.  "And we have some money too!  Since the hint shop person
will most likely charge."  She opened the door and charged inside.  The
other three party members exchanged glances and followed her in.

"Hello there!  What can I do for you today?"

"Terence?  Is that you?" Ardweden grinned at the man standing behind the
counter.

"Yup, it would be me," Terence nodded.  "Delfina-sama convinced me to do
this."

Ardweden looked surprised.  "You've seen Delfi?"

"Oh yeah," Terence chuckled.  "She wanted me to let you know that she's
watching."

A brief look of frustration flitted across Ardweden's face.  "But why
doesn't she do anything to help us?"

"Hey, I'm here, aren't I?"  Terence shrugged.  "Now, you get five
questions for free.  Make them count."

Dan nodded.  "All right, how do we get home?"

"Oh, that's easy.  Complete the game, and don't turn off the power until
the final FMV... wait, that doesn't apply."

"My turn!  Where are all the rest of the Seals?" Kate exclaimed.

"Can't answer that."

"Why not?"

"In my contract.  I'm not allowed to give away hints that cover more
than the present situation."  He displayed said contract that had
slightly more belligerent wording, signed by Delfina-sama.  Kate
winced.  "Any more questions?"

Steven sighed.  "Will I *ever* get to do anything cool?"

Terence thought a moment.  "Well... if you complete the Golden Smartie 
Subquest, you can gain the Apprentice Funkster skill by taking Shaft's 
powers.  300 AP nets you Diva, which allows you to inflict Funky Dance 
Status on all enemies, which causes them to dance wildly while they 
attack."  Terence looks a little sheepish.  "Okay, okay, so it's not 
really *useful*, but it *is* cool.

Ardweden snickered.  "Who will get the power from this Seal?"

"Oh, who gets the power depends on how you treat the cat."

"What cat?"

"The cat over there sitting on top of the barrel."  He pointed at said
cat.  The cat blinked once, then jumped off and ran out the door.
Terence blinked.  "Darn... there goes the Pickle of Happiness
subquest."  He paused.  "That's... catflag equals 2, I think.  Which
means... lemme check my notes."  He started thumbing through some
scattered papers on his desk and, failing to find the notes, looked up
again. "Ah... I think I'll skip the rest of this question.  I'll give
you a bonus question instead."

Steve grinned. "All right, then answer this!  How much wood could a
woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

"Five cords.  Next?"

Kate glared at Steve.  "You just wasted one of our freebies!  I'll ask
the final question.  Um.  Right.  What should it be?"  She blinked.
"Aren't we forgetting something?"

Ardweden rolled her eyes.  "Hello?  Illyria and Scott!  Terence, how do
we rescue the others?"

"Oh, the Sailor Moon subquest!  Hang on... ah, here we are!"  He handed
the party a pamphlet inviting them to the new opening of Negagames
Workshop, a collectable card store.  A card slipped out of one of his
pockets and fell to the ground.  Ardweden snatched it up.

She turned the card over in her hand.  "What... is this?  And why does
it have a picture of Kate on the front?"

Terence rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.  "Um... well...
it's part of my Quadruple Bypass collection... you know... a Collectable
Card Game?  Quadruple Bypass is THE game to play.  It's
Goddess-approved."

Kate's eyes lit up at those magic words.  "A CCG?!  Wai!  Lemme see!"
She snatched the card away and began poring over the details in
excitement.  "It looks just like me!  Ooh!  I'm Shadow Elemental!"

"That's mine... you can't just... I'd like to have it back... um..."
Terence's protests fell on deaf ears.  He sighed.  "Ah, forget it.  I'll
just have to win another.  In any case, to rescue the others, all you
have to do is win the Quadruple Bypass tournament."

"But we don't know how to play Quadruple Bypass," complained Steve.

"It's a few hours before the tournament," Terence suggested.  "You might
be able to learn some of the rules in that time... but it's
complicated--"

"Yeah!  I want to learn Quadruple Bypass!" Kate exclaimed.  "Um... the
fate of Illyria and Scott hangs in the balance, right guys?  I pretty
much *have* to learn how to play this game!"

"We could just bust in and break them out," Dan said.  "I mean, after
all, they *were* kidnapped--"

"Nope!  We have to win this tournament.  There's no other way," Kate
said, adamant.

"But--"

"Nope.  No other way at all.  You'll teach us, huh, won't you, Ter?"
Kate asked with sparkling eyes.

"80 chrisnickels, plus 10 for a starter pack," Terence replied, unfazed.

Everyone looked at Steve and he reluctantly pulled out the coins and
handed them to Terence.  Terence then swiftly produced a board and two
packs of cards, placing them on the counter.  Some tinny music started
playing in the background, but the rest paid it no mind.

"Right..." Terence started, "Quadruple Bypass is played on a four by
four grid, like so.  Starting a game is reasonably simple.  First, you
shuffle your deck and take eight cards from the top; that's your hand."

Kate nodded, paying full attention.

"Right, for this next practice game, we'll be using the Revised Miznian
Rules with the Seventh Level Amendments.  That means we'll be dropping
Rule 14.4.1.b and the Fozberry Flop.  We check the date... ah, Scorpio
is in alignment, so Rules 4.c, 56 and 1217.1 are in effect.  Now we--"

"Wait, wait!  What are all these rules?" Kate asked, slightly confused.

"Oh, sorry.  4.c is the Friday rule; all non-Element cards get a +1
bonus due to it being the end of the week.  Rule 56 is the Falling
Leaves rule; any card with an image that has over 50 percent brown in it
has its top and bottom point values reversed.  Oh, and 1217.1 is just
the Little Bull amendment; no bulls allowed at the Quadruple Bypass game
while it is session."  He ignored the others' stares, looking over his
cards.  "Anyways... now to decide who goes first, we just toss a coin,"
Terence said, fishing out a chrisnickel.

"Well at least *that* part's simple," Steve muttered.

"...wait," Terence interrupted.  "Do you want Rule 274 enacted for this
game as well?"

"Rule 274?" Kate asked.

"Edge Toss Rule.  If the coin lands on edge, we have to sacrifice the
nearest bishounen and ask the Gods who should go first."

Ardweden, Dan and Steve sweatdropped.  Kate just continued listening,
enraptured.

"No?  Okay, then, we'll just toss again if we get edge.  Right... let's
start...."

x_X

Three hours, a whole rereading of the Quadruple Bypass Rules (1987
Edition, Volumes I-III), and several practice games later....

Terence placed his final card down, silently turning over all the cards
on the board immediately afterwards.  "Double Surprise Rule: Any Himitsu
Element Card, if placed as the last card in a game, can take any Player
Rank Card it touches, irregardless of card strength.  Couple that with
the Standard Combo Rule, and it looks like I've won."

Kate frowned at the card's image, which displayed a picture of Xelloss
winking.  "Drat.  One more game!  One more!"

Terence looked at the clock, and shook his head.  "No... no time.
Besides, it looks like you've got the hang of it."  He cleared away the
board and cards finally, placing the huge tomes that made up the
Quadruple Bypass rulebook back under the desk.  "So... that's pretty
much the gist of Quadruple Bypass.  Think you're ready?"

Kate nodded vigorously.  The others merely snored, having long since
fallen asleep.

"Good.  You'll need a starter pack to enter the Tournament, so here you
go."  He produced a small hand-sized pack that he handed to Kate.
"You've got the Kate card, there's probably a few other Rare cards in
that starter, and you'll probably win some at the tournament as well."

"Zzzz," zzzz'ed the other party members.

Kate tapped her foot impatiently.  "Hey, guys?  We've got to go.  The
match starts in a bit and Illyria and Scott are the prizes, see?"  She
waved the little pamphlet around that had a cute picture of Illyria and
Scott dressed up as Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon on it.  They were listed
as "A genuine bishounen and his magical girl, first prize to the Winner
of the Quadruple Bypass Tournament!"

The party snoozed on.

Kate glared at them.  Light snores were her only response.  Terence
handed her a bucket of ice-cold water, which Kate utilized.

"AIIEEE!  That's COLD!" was the general response.

Kate smiled cutely at them in response.  "Let's go kick some Quadruple
Bypass butt!"

^_~

"Wow, look at all the people..." Ardweden said, glancing around her and
trying to avoid being jostled by the various Quadruple Bypass
combatants.

"This is like a Pokemon convention.  Only much worse," Dan observed.

"I don't see why we can't just break them out." Steve remarked.

"This is GREAT!" Kate cried, "I love it!  I can't wait to start
playing!  Where do I sign up?  Where do I start?"

"Try that little table over there that says 'sign-up here'." Dan dryly
remarked, pointing at said table.

"Right!  Let's sign up!"  Kate bounced happily over to the table and
started conversing with the moderator sitting at it.  Ardweden, Dan and
Steve looked for a place to get comfortable.  It looked like it was
going to be a long wait.

^_~

Kate sat down at the first table, waiting for her first opponent to show
up.  It took a minute or so, but finally, a huge mountain of a man
walked over and crashed down into the seat opposite her.  Kate blinked,
somewhat alarmed.

"What you --ing staring at?" the man grunted.

"Uh, nothing," Kate replied uneasily, turning her attention to the
cards, wondering what sort of word 'ing' was, and why the man felt he
had to pause before saying it.

An attendant flipped a coin, giving Kate the first turn.  She paused
slightly, considered her options... then started off by placing her
Black Mage card down in the bottom left corner....

$_$

Three rounds in, and Kate had lost her initial nervousness.  Bouncing
from foot to foot, she happily recounted her new cards already.  "Wai!
Wai! I won an ultra rare Todd card!  Look!  Look!  And with a Jessie and
a James, I can enact the TR Combo if I place them both on Earth
Elemental!  Wai!"

Kate's lost nervousness had, however, seemingly found a home in Ardweden
and the others.  "Uh, Kate?  You know, this competition is really
important... shouldn't you be preparing for the next round or
something?  The Quarter Finals are just coming up...."

"Oh, don't be such a spoilsport," Kate admonished.  "I know what I'm
doing!  Ooh!  They're calling me!  I better get going!  Wish me luck,
guys!"

As she walked off towards the gaming tables, the others shared worried
glances.

"I vote we confiscate those cards as *soon* as this is all over,"
motioned Dan.

"Say... look at Kate's next opponent," Steve noticed.  "Isn't that...?"

-_-

Kate blinked at the familiar young man sitting in front of her.
"ElRutt?!"

Ex Leader Rutt scowled in reply.  "Don't you get on my case now.  I came
here to get away from it all... and just when I thought I'd found
something I could do without *someone* interfering... *you* all come
along!  I mean, what, are you *that* determined to beat me at
everything?!"

Kate shrugged, not really listening.  A win would be a win, no matter
who she thrashed.  The gaming attendant flipped the coin, announcing
E.L.Rutt as the starting player.

E.L.Rutt smirked, and slammed his first card down.  "Let's see how you
like *this*!"

Kate sweatdropped.  Heavily.  "Um... ElRutt?"

"Heh heh heh... worried already?" he gloated.

"That's an ElRutt card."

"Yep!  My *best* card!"

"You just placed it in the top right center square as your first
move...."

"Uhuh.  Your point?"

"...while there was a Bishounen Elemental on that same square."

"Look, are you going to play, or what?" E.L.Rutt complained.

"Rule 741.3, the Another Fine Mess rule, states that if these precise
conditions are met (ElRutt Card placed as first card on top right center
square with Bishounen Elemental), then you have achieved an 'untenable
position' and must instantly resign."

"..."

Kate clapped her hands together, holding them under her chin.  "Isn't
this game fun?!"

Extreme Loser Rutt simply stared.

^_^

The Semi-Final round wasn't *quite* as easy for Kate as the last had
been.  Throughout the game, her next opponent (a pirate of some
description, by the look of him) fiercely defended his cards, forcing
Kate to play a much more aggressive stance.

She eventually won through the use of an 'indefensible gambit'; the Todd
card, while having extremely low point values on the bottom and right
sides of the card, automatically won the game for her when she placed it
as her last turn in the far top left corner.  It was the only place she
could put it, and due to the precise circumstances, it immediately
enacted the Goddess of Destruction rule: Instant Win.

The dread pirate scowled and left the tournament to console himself with
something to eat.  Perhaps some sherbet or something.

And then came the Final round....

@_@

You're probably wondering what Illyria and Scott have been doing during
all of this time.  No, it's not HOT LUVLUV.  Although that would be
interesting, wouldn't it?  Actually after they were kidnapped, they were
pretty much kept unconscious the whole time.  And dressed up, of
course.  But since they haven't been given much screen time in this
episode, they're going to have some HOT LUVLUV right now.

No, just kidding.

Instead, they're going to do a little song and dance routine.

"What?  I don't think so," Scott cried, then tugged at Illyria.

"I do not dance."

You waltz.

"...Yes, I do waltz."  Illyria took Scott's hands and started dancing
with her around the room as Cullen Anderson played in the background.

Isn't that sweet?  And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

H.h

"I'm Ash Ketchum, and I'm a Quadruple Bypass Master!  I'm gonna Collect
'Em All(TM)!  And you-- ...hey!  What are you doing here?!"

Kate blinked.  "Me?  What about you?!  I thought Scott--"

Ash growled.  "Yeah he did!  Do you have *any* idea how hard it is to
get a new cap here?  It's not even the right color!"  Kate glanced up at
the blue with yellow polkadots 'baseball' cap Ash now sported.

"Uh... sorry... but I thought you were a *Pokemon* Master?!"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you!  But someone stole all my Pokemon!  I'd
be getting ready for a battle, and then I'd throw one out, and then this
girl would run by and grab it, shouting out things in French!  Don't
they have any concept of the rules here?!"  He grunted in frustration.
"In any case, I'm the best, and I'm gonna prove it!  You're going down!"

Kate shrugged... then hesitated.  "Why do you want a magical girl and
her bishounen protector anyway?"

"Just shut up and play, will ya?!" Ash yelled, cheeks flushing.

The coin was tossed... and Ash was given the first move.

He pulled down his cap, and carefully placed his first card in the
bottom right square, where a Bishounen Elemental was resting.  "All Your
Bishounen Are Belonging To Us," he announced, revealing the Delfina card
he'd just played.

Rats, thought Kate.  I hate that rule.

She got rid of her Hotohori card, watching glumly as the recently
enacted rule immediately allowed Ash to capture it.

Smirking, Ash laid down a non-element card as bait.  Kate ignored it,
and placed her Damien Phoenix card on the Radiation Elemental square
next to Ash's Delfina card.  She smirked as the Rules allowed her to
capture Delfina.  "Giant Irradiated Hummingbird Rule," she explained.
"Damien gets +2 on Radiation Elemental squares."

Ash scowled, adjusting his cap.   "The AYBABTU rule is still in
effect."  Unable to capture any of Kate's cards he laid one of his
lesser cards beneath Hotohori, increasing his defense.

Kate responded by holding the upper right corner with one of her own
high defense cards.  Ash yelled in triumph, slamming down a Yonjuuni
card next to it.  "Same Rule!  They're made by the same artist, so that
card is *mine*!"

Kate sighed, then placed her Jessie card in the gap between Hotohori and
Yonjuuni, flipping both the Hotohori card and one of Ash's non-Elemental
ones.  She didn't like being forced to use her power cards.

Ash immediately retook the card with his next move.  He gave Kate a cold
stare.

Kate hesitated, watching the Ex-Pokemon Master carefully.  She laid her
next card in the remaining corner.  Ash simply used his next turn to
strengthen his defense.

Kate placed her remaining Bishounen card down, watching as the AYBABTU
rule allowed Ash to take it as soon as it landed.  Ash smiled grimly,
then put down a Demota card to prevent Kate from retaking her card.

"Score's 7-5, and I'm winning," he said, smirking.  "Wanna give up?"

Kate shook her head.  "No way!"  She looked at her two remaining cards.
Her left eye twitched.

Ash swept his cap back, turning it back to front.  "You're going down,
lady."

Kate slowly put down the Todd card she'd been keeping back.  It was
enough to retake one of Ash's cards... but Ash's next move attacked
Todd's weak side, putting the score to 8-6.

I just need to take *one* card to win, Kate thought.  But... the defense
on the only card she could take was phenomenal!

"You've lost, lady!  Give it up!  Nothing can beat the Phoebe card on a
Whimsy Elemental square!"

Kate sighed, then took one last look at her remaining card.  Then she
smiled, and placed it in the final remaining space.  The look on Ash's
face was priceless.

"Kevin Smith.  Rule 381."  She flipped over the Phoebe card, capturing
it.  "I win!" she announced happily.

Ash finally closed his mouth.  "You... you cheated!  This was a fix!"
He leaped at Kate, but was restrained by the gaming attendant, who
started dragging him away.  "No!  There's no way you could have won!
I'm the Quadruple Bypass Master!  You'll pay for this...."  His protests
trailed off as he and the attendant disappeared through a nearby door.

Kate smiled.  "I believe *I'm* the Quadruple Bypass Master," she finally
said.

"Tonight, then," Dan muttered to Steve.  "You hold her down, I'll grab
the cards."

Ardweden groaned.  "Let's go pick up our 'prizes' and get out of here
first."

^_~

The party emerged out of the Quadruple Bypass Tournament after hours of
grueling competition.  Scott and Illyria weren't talking about what
happened to them, and the others didn't want to ask after receiving
several glares and Illyria's sword at their throats on more than on
occasion.

Ardweden decided that it was time to change the subject and get them
back on track.  "Well, that wasn't *that* bad.  Not as bad as the slimes
at least."  She smiled.  "Now, to find the Seal..."  Ardweden paused.
"It's those bagpipes again..."

Illyria stopped and listened, then pointed towards a small grove of
trees.  "They're coming from there."  Pulling out his large sword he
started to cut a path through the various underbrush, revealing a small
staircase behind the thick trees.

"A path!" Kate jumped up and down excitedly.  "Now we can get to the top
of the hill and get the Seal from the dancing priestesses!"

"But what if they're really big and scary priestesses?" Scott asked,
then flushed.  "Forget I asked that."

Dan and Steve took a moment to laugh and point at Scott while Ardweden
and Kate simply rolled their eyes in amusement.  Illyria was already
heading up the stairs.

"Come on, guys," Ardweden said as she and Kate dragged Dan and Steve
behind them.  They trudged along their way until they ran into Illyria
who had stopped on the top of the steps.  "Yes, Illyria?"

The bishounen did not reply, but merely pointed.  The party collectively
gasped.

"Those aren't priestesses..." Dan started.

"They're men in kilts," Steve finished.

"WAI!  Dancing Scotsmen!"  Ardweden drooled.

Everyone turned to give Ardweden a strange look.

"What?  They're not bishounen.  And my, they are nice looking men..."

Kate sweatdropped.  "I think she's channeling her sister.  Let's just
find that Seal."

"Hey, I do agree with Tsuin-chan on some things.  Especially dancing
Scotsmen in kilts."  She continued to watch the dancers with a strange
look in her eyes.  The rest of the party shuddered.

"Right.  Well.  Um.  Anyways.  Why are there no dancing priestesses?"
Scott asked.

A large crowd of giggling dancing girls wandered past.

"Ah, it's good to be king!"

"Thank you, Delfina-kami-sama!"

"Ravi?  Yu?"

The crowd stopped and the two emerged from the center, scantily clad
girls surrounding them.  "Hey!  What's going on?  You guys done with
that quest thing yet?"

"Delfina-sama tells me that you're doing just fine."

Kate nodded.  "Well...we're about to get the next Seal...but we were
looking for the dancing priestesses who guard it..."

Ravi smacked his forehead.  "Right.  Well, I've decided to uh, take
them.  And Yu kindly arranged that they be replaced with those dancing
Scotsmen."

The Oracle nodded in agreement.  "Yes, Delfina-sama and the other
Goddesses much prefer them to the dancing priestesses."

"But...what are you two doing here?" Steve prodded.

Ravi smirked.  "Being a king is really stressful.  And everyone knows
that Delfina-sama expects so much out of her clergy, so Yu's taking a
little vacation."

"Something like that.  I think it was more the distraction of lovely
eyes that did it for her.  She's pretty, ah, occupied."  Yu-Mei grinned
widely.  "Anyways, we have a schedule to keep, right girls?"  The girls
obligingly giggled.

"Nice seeing you again, but we must be off," Ravi said as he and Yu-Mei
rejoined the crowd of women and moved on.

"Well, that was...interesting," Illyria remarked.

"Wait!  Ravi!  Yu!  Take us with you!"  Steve and Dan rushed after them
but were promptly stalled by Kate and Scott pulling them the opposite
way.

"Could we *please* get the Seal already?  It's got to be there
somewhere..." Kate said.  "Ard, would you stop drooling?"

"Eh?  Wha?" Ardweden looked blankly at Kate, obviously still focusing on
something else.  Like the way cute dancers with awesome thighs and
kilts.

"They are good dancers," Scott observed, then stomped her foot cutely
and marched towards the altar in the middle of the dancers.  On the
altar was a covered figure, difficult to make out.  "Never mind.  I'll
get the Seal."  A hand landed gently on her shoulder.  She turned to see
Illyria staring at her soulfully, extending a rose to her.

"Be careful."

Scott blushed cutely and absently stuck the rose in her hair.  "Um.
Thanks, Illyria."

"Aww, that's so cute."

"They're so adorable!"

"Does anyone have a camera?"

"Tsuin-chan has excellent taste in dancers."  Everyone stared at
Ardweden again, then shrugged.

Scott strode towards the altar confidently, the rest of the party close
on her heels.  The dancers kept dancing.  Scott tried to walk through
them, but they moved to block her.  "Argh."

A sudden giggling started, centered on the altar.  "Well, well, well..."

Scott blinked.  "Xelloss!"

The main villain type person grinned and bowed from his position,
roughly three feet above the altar in the air.  "That would be me!  And
I'll be the one who gets this Seal!"

"No you shall not!"  A voice resounded from the heavens, and Xelloss
winced.  A large glitzy float with dancing bishounen gathered upon it
rolled into the area from...well somewhere.  A large divan was in the
center of the float and surrounded by random scantily clad bishounen,
either waving palm fronds or hand-feeding grapes to the figure reclined
upon the couch.

"Niichan!" Ardweden gasped, momentarily distracted from her careful
observation of the dancers.  Yeah, that's it.  She wanted to learn the
steps.  Uh huh.

"Hi there, imouto-chan.  Gotta kill Xelloss."  Todd grinned evilly and
flew up into the air after the Mazoku.  The Mazoku eeped and grabbed the
rather large item on the altar, apparently intending to take it away
with him.  Said item kicked him and he dropped it.

Of course, this served as the perfect distraction for Todd to get in
close and knock off a good shot on this, his most hated Slayers
character.  "Let's cause some destruction, baby!"  Hauling off a large
ball of energy he directed it at the Mazoku who didn't dodge fast
enough.  Falling to the ground heavily, he twitched a few times, then
disappeared.

Todd eyed the spot where Xelloss used to be and shrugged.  "Well,
anyways."  His bishounen-sense suddenly perked up and he flew over to a
figure slumped on the ground.  "Ooh, a bishounen!  I have to add you to
my collection!"  He snickered.  "And for once I beat Delfina to it."
Picking it up, he waved at the party and returned to his method of
conveyance.  "I'll see you later!  Have fun!"  The float slowly turned
around and returned to wherever it had come from.

The party recovered from their bout of speechlessness.

"That...was the Goddess of Destruction, baby?" Dan coughed out.

"Niichan...?" Ardweden sighed, and then looked at the dancers again.  It
was about this time that she noticed they weren't dancing anymore.
"Hey, they aren't dancing any more."

Illyria pulled out his sword and pointed it at one of the dancers.
"Tell us where the Seal is."

"Aye, well, it appears that it is heading to the Isle of Bishounen,
m'lord."

"The, um, Isle of Bishounen?" Steve asked.

"Aye.  The Goddess of Destruction, baby, grabbed it and left."

Scott groaned.  "It was the bishounen.  Wasn't it?"

"Of course it was.  The Bishounen Seal after all."

"Great.  Just great."

_

Xelloss groaned as he pulled himself up to a sitting position.  Taking a
brief tally of his injuries he decided that since he hurt, he must not
be dead yet.  And he hurt a LOT.  "Ah well, at least I still have one
Seal.  If the Goddess of Destruction, baby, had been paying more
attention, I would have died.  Heck, if I had been paying more attention
I wouldn't have gotten hit so hard.  Drat."

o.O

Author's notes:

Thanks very much to Ter-chan for writing the game stuff. He's very wai.
^_^

Thanks to Illyria for pre-reading.

And thanks to chat for giving me such wonderful ideas.  And of course,
many thanks to the other Goddesses.  *gives Goddess secret hand sign*