(-_-)... The bell rang and the battle was on. A flurry of attacks was exchanged between the two men and near-impossible speeds, they were both very skilled, and the challenger's speed and agility made up for his opponent's massive strength. After a few minutes of continued attacks, the challenger landed an open palm strike to his opponent that caused the larger man to stagger backwards. The two stared at each other as they took the time to catch their breaths. They were both winded, but hardly in trouble. The large man's eye twitched and he moved his right guard up a bit to protect it. The action was just barely noticed by the challenger who silently made a note of a possible weakness in his opponent. A sudden movement from one of them started the battle again. After a short exchange of blows, the challenger decided it was time for a gamble. A quick fake to the left was all the challenger needed this time to throw the champion off balance and expose his vulnerable right eye. The smaller man put the entire force of his body into a crushing blow that impacted the other man directly in his injured eye. The tall man staggered back once more, this time putting his hands to his eye screaming in pain as blood flowed freely from it. "AAAAARRRRGGGHH! MY EYE!" rage flowed through the champion's veins. The challenger was taken aback by his opponents reaction an accidentally lowered his guard as he stammered, "I... I..." "You'll pay for that!" screamed the champion as he lunged at the unready challenger. The tall man, fueled by rage was too much for the shorter, unready challenger to stop. Blows pounded into his body and his face became a mess of bruises and blood. Finally he hit the hard ground and remained motionless as the tall man picked him up by the head. The bald man yelled in rage and began to slam his knee into the man held defenseless in his hand. His blows rained upon the man's head and torso, breaking bones and causing massive internal bleeding. But that was all about to become meaningless. In one swift motion, the Muy Thai kickboxer known as Sagat snapped Go Hibiki's neck, killing him almost instantaneously. He carelessly threw the man's limp body to the side and began to walk over to the medical technicians to get treatment for his injured eye. "NO! FATHER!" screamed a voice from behind him. Turning around he saw a young boy running towards the dead man from the stands. The boy was dressed in a rather faded orange gi that gave the appearance of being almost pink. He had a ponytail similar to the defeated challenger. He was the dead man's son. The boy looked at the beaten, bruised, and now lifeless man with tears in his eyes, before turning to Sagat with a look of rage. "I'll kill you monster!" he howled in fury as he lunged at the giant. Sagat merely scoffed and backhanded the boy in mid-air sending him sprawling across the battle field before coming to a stop coughing and gasping for breath. Two other young men ran up to his side, to check on their injured friend. One of them, a young Japanese man wearing a white karate gi tried to stop his ponytailed friend from getting up. "Dan," he said, putting a hand on his friends bruised chest, "you can't beat him here. Your anger is blinding you." The other youth, a blonde American in a similar red gi spoke, "Ryu's right man, you won't stand a chance against him until you finish your training." Dan Hibiki coughed a few more times before finally making it back to his feet with the help of his friends. He stared after the departing figure, watching his new enemy leave without a care as to what he had done. After a pause he spoke: "I'll defeat him. No mater what the cost. I will hunt that monster to the ends of the earth to avenge my father. OYAJIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" What followed is a story of honor, a story of action, adventure, intrigue, and a pink-clad warrior's quest for vengeance. Unfortunately, it is not this story... (@_@)*** "Gee Brain, what are we gonna do tonight?" "The same thing we do every night Pinky, try to take over the-" Uh... no not that story either unfortunately. (^^); "Four score and seven years ago, our fore-" Nooooooooo, not this one either... (^^);;; "In the beginning-" Ahahahaheh... Sorry, but it's not this one as well. *********************** Otaku Wish Fulfillment Theater Episode 18: Doushita? Doushita? ... The Episode With Far Too Many Dan References! Written by: B.J. "Saikyo-Kun" Gee Started by: Scott Schimmel ************************ "Nice place," remarked Steve as the heroes passed through the golden gates and came upon a large building that seemed to be a cross between a temple and a palace. As they walked up to the entrance, the door swung open as if by magic, but actually it swung open because of an infrared beam that the heroes broke as they approached the temple/palace. Inside they found a long hallway adorned with pictures depicting... er... *things*. Fortunately for the guys, there was a small box of tissues outside of the door which was gratuitously used. At the end of the hall, a larger door with ornate designs and foreign writing awaited the heroes. Dan gulped and pushed it open. "About time you got here!" exclaimed a dominatrix clad woman (complete with whip) on a throne inside. "How long does it take to walk down a hallway?" "Uh... Hi Stephica?" Steve tried. "Hi Steve," the Goddess of Erotica returned before nodding to the rest of the party, "Ard. Kate. Dan. Illyria. Scott. Damien. How have you been?" "Alright I guess," replied Dan, "We were actually wondering if-" "If I could help you find the next seal?" interrupted Stephica. "Um, yeah actually," replied Dan, "How did you- oh wait you're a goddess, duh." "Sure I'll help you, just go through that door, it'll take you near the next seal," Stephica replied cheerfully pointing her whip at a door. Her eyes suddenly narrowed. "But only married couples can pass through the door." "You're kidding right?" asked Ardweden. "Yeah," admitted Stephica, "I need you to do me a favor, actually. I'll tell you what it is later. Get going you guys." Stephica cracked her whip twice and the door opened revealing a portal. "Onward!" exclaimed Kate pointing towards the portal, "The next seal awaits!" \(^_^)/ Five hours later. Our heroes, were currently hiking across a large valley that was dotted with many hills making it impossible to see more than 100 unobstructed yards ahead. At this point in time, the sun was setting and it was getting dark and a wind was picking up. The party had encountered few enemies that afternoon, but were in low spirits nonetheless. Not only had Stephica's portal teleported them to the middle of nowhere, but Dan had exhausted his powersource in am earlier battle and could not transform into All Terrain Dan, forcing the party to use the more common mode of transportation known as walking. "I'm cold," shivered Kate, shivering. "I'm hungry," moaned Ard holding her stomach which also moaned. "I'm itchy," wailed Scott-chan swatting away a stray mosquito. "Girls," Illyria said turning around to face the three, "Do you mind?" The three pouted and resumed walking, too tired, hungry, and itchy to continue complaining. "Hey Dan," asked Steve, "Where are we anyway? Check the map." Dan obligingly pulled out the party's map and used his nifty map locator device to find out where on wherever they were that they were. After a few seconds, he looked up and stated: "According to the map, we're in the Densetsu Valley, there should be a town over there." The rest of the group followed Dan's finger as it pointed off in the distance. The group collectively sighed as they noted there was nothing but hills for the next few miles. (Ā_Ā) It was dusk as the party entered the small town, they were tired, hungry, itchy, sleepy, craving food and... wait, did I already say that? Shoot. Well, point is, they weren't a very happy bunch. "Uhg," moaned Steve as he stumbled onto the cobblestone path, "Who would've known that something so small could be so dangerous." "Eh, look at tonberrys," Kate pointed out while checking some of the cuts she had sustained from fighting the evil thing. "Who knows and who cares," muttered Damien, "I must've lost 30 feathers in that battle. It was at this point that the author realized that he had forgotten to write about the battle that the heroes were describing and decided to simply gloss over to the next day when the heroes awoke in the local inn. (*_*) ... Scott rose from her bed and yawed, rubbing her eyes. "Wai! It's time for a bright shining new day!" she exclaimed before realizing exactly what she'd said. She quickly looked around to make sure that no one had heard her. Fortunately, Dan had already gotten up and left and Steve was still asleep, and did not witness this embarrassing side-effect of Scott's archetype. "Geez, keep it down Pretty Princess Scott-chan," Steve mumbled from another bed before being thrown across the room by a rather irate magical girl. "*Don't* call me that," threatened Scott. "Doushita? Doushita?" asked Dan coming in from the lobby unknowingly giving this episode another Dan allusion. "Scott's got issues," muttered Steve as he picked himself up and went off to get some medicine for the bruise on his head from the party's inventory. Before Scott could reply to this, Kate burst in to the room, causing the door to slam Dan into the wall in the process. "Hey! Have you looked outside?" she exclaimed ignoring Dan's pained whimper as he slid off the wall. (^_-) Outside, the party realized what had made Kate so surprised: the town had become a bustling fair, with people in stands selling various objects from healing potions to "I'm a Dan Fan" t-shirts. The party realized that they hadn't really gotten a good look at the city before finding the inn. "It appears to be some kind of bazaar," stated Illyria non-commitally. "It must be some kind of one time special event that affects the plot of our journey," Kate, the resident RPG expert mused. "Well then, maybe we should stock up on supplies," suggested Ardweden, "There's got to be some good deals from the shop keepers." The group nodded in consent and the party began walking through the throng of people and examining random booths and shops. Meanwhile, from across the street in a narrow alley, a shadowy figure was lurking. Well, it was trying to lurk at least. It was having a hard time though since it unfortunately had decided to lurk in an alley that had been converted into a shop for the bazaar. Mostly, the figure was being pushed around by busy shoppers. Eventually the shopkeeper just got tired of the figure and kicked it out of his store. "Hmm," mused Dan, "how about this healing potion? It looks likes it could come in handy later." Dan was holding a small bottle of a bluish liquid labeled: Full Heal Potion (Not to be taken less than one half hour before swimming.) "How much does it cost?" asked Steve to the generic shopkeeper who looked exactly the same as all the other shopkeepers at the bazaar, because this RPG had a low budget. "200 Fol," the man calmly stated. "What the heck's a 'Fol'?" whispered Ard to Kate. "I don't know. It sounds familiar, " Kate whispered back, "but we don't have any..." "Bummer..." muttered Scott. (&_&) A little while later. The motley crew were sullenly walking back to the inn. The entire town ran on a different kind of currency than what the rest of the RPG world seemed to run on, making them effectively penniless. How they were able to pay for their stay at the inn is a detail that the author forgot about when he wrote that part and has decided to ignore. "This is just great!" complained Scott, "We're in a town with a bazaar with hundreds of useful items and we can't buy them because we don't have the right currency." As other members of the party began to complain as well, a mysterious figure silently snuck up on the crew. Or at least, that's what it would have done had it not been wearing a bright pink cloak. The figure also managed to trip on the cobblestone path over the said garment, arousing the attention of the party. The not-so-inconspicuous character then proceeded to get up and walk over to the improadventurers. The person's face was hidden by the hood on the cloak, so the heroes could not deduce exactly who the person was. As the figure approached the party, Illyria flinched almost unnoticeably and his trenchcoat turned the slightest shade of pink. "I will accept your currency," the voice crooned in a distorted way that made it impossible for our heroes to even discern the gender of the speaker. "Would you like to see something strange and mystical?" it said holding out a round object covered with a pink cloth of the same shade of the figure's cloak. "No," said Ard. "Not really," stated Kate. "Nope," said Damien. "...," Illyria not-said. "Nah," said Scott, giving a dismissive wave with her hand. "I'll pass," Steve said shaking his head. "Does it turn beavers to gold?" asked Dan. "Uh...," stammered the figure, taken aback, "No, I don't think so..." "Pigeons to stone?" Dan asked again. "Er... no." "Forget it then." "Ooookay," said the figure, putting the cloth covered item back into it's robes. "How about this shameisen?" asked the figure, while pulling out the said musical instrument. "OOO, shameisen," Ard 'ooo'ed, instantly attracted by the shiny object. "Sorry Ard," said Dan stepping between her and the shiny object, "I have to be the voice or reason. You already have your lute. We can't just go spending what money have on something that doesn't do anything." Undaunted, (well, okay, maybe a little daunted) the figure put away the obscure video game reference in it's garments. Reaching into a deep pocket in the robes, the figure pulled out some small squares with a picture and some kanji on them. "How about an autographed picture of Dan Hibiki?" the figure tried. "OOH! OOH! ME! ME!" exclaimed Dan and Kate as they hurriedly stepped infront of the figure while fishing out all the money the party had. "We'll take however many this can buy!" said Dan holding out a bag of money. The mysterious figure sweatdropped as did the Ard, Scott, and Steve. Illyria simply tried to maintain his composure. "Wait a minute," Ard interrupted, noticing something, "Don't we know you from somewhere? You remind me of someone." The figure started suddenly and held up it's hands, "Okay, you got me," it informed the crew, "You do know me." The figure then grabbed its cloak by the hood and threw it off in one smooth motion exclaiming: "Oosha! Tiss I!" The improparty blinked. Then they blinked again. "Dan Hibiki?" asked Dan. "Saikyo Hiruma?" asked Kate. Indeed the person standing before them did look very much like Saikyo Hiruma. She had the blond curled hair, the haughty voice and a ribbon around her arm. However, she was dressed in a pink karate gi over a black shirt and had her hair tied up in a Dan esque-pony tail, the ribbon was also pink rather than the blue like the one described in the HHH improfanfic. She seemed rather irate that the party had not recognized her. She blinked once and then tried again, "Come on! It's me!" "Dan Hibiki?" asked Steve. "Saikyo Hiruma?" asked Scott. The figure blinked again, and then sweatdropped. Suddenly an exclamation point appeared over Ardweden's head and she looked closely at the figure. "Hold on a minute. A mysterious person that looks like both Dan *and* Saikyo who constantly blinks, carries around autographed pictures of Dan Hibiki and puts a '...' at the end of every sentence that's not an exclamation. You're not S-SaikyoKun are you?" she stammered. "Yahooi!" exclaimed the one known as SaikyoKun giving a rousing Dan-esque thumbs-up pose. "Wait a minute!" interrupted Kate, "I thought you were a guy! Isn't that why you call yourself SaikyoKUN?" "Uhh... Kate?" asked Steve, "What about them?" Steve pointed over to where Scott and Illyria were standing. "Who're they?" asked Saikyo. "Scott and Illyria," Dan replied. "Whoa! And I though I was the only one..." "It's kind of a long story," muttered Steve. "You see we're the destined heroes and..." (o_0) "Whew!" breathed SaikyoKun, "That's pretty interesting. So you guys are the destined heroes then? You must be on some kind of quest! I bet it's pretty cool!" "Actually, you didn't let me finish," interrupted Steve. "Eh," responded Illyria nonchalantly. "Hold on a sec Saikyo," said Kate holding up her hands, "You still haven't told us what happened to you." "Ah! That... is a secr-" began Saikyo before being bopped by Ardweden's lute. "Knock it off Sai," Ard admonished, "It's been done." "Alright, jeez," muttered Saikyo, rubbing her head, "I just went to sleep one night and woke up outside of the town. Then Brock from Pokemon appears and starts telling me about some heroes. Suddenly his beeper goes off and he gives me a pair of wrist guards and says 'Take these. They'll give you the power of Saikyo to assist the heroes. I'll tell you how to use them after I get back. They just found the first seal.' Then he vanishes and never comes back!" The improadventurers looked casually in another direction, whistling innocently. Well, all except Damien, who had not been there when Illyria had sliced up the unfortunate pokemon breeder. "So, I put these things on and THIS happens!" Saikyo exclaimed motioning to herself. "While powered up like this I have the powers of 'Saikyo' as far as I've been able to figure out..." "That's all well and good," said Dan, "but why are you powered up now?" "Hey! I'm not finished yet!" Saikyo blurted out, startling Dan, "After that happened, I found I had the powers of Saikyo-Ryu and Saikyo Hiruma. Since Brock never came back, I decided to start a dojo..." (*_*) o/~ Kick! Taunt! It's all in the mind! o/~ If you wanna test me, I'm sure you'll find, o/~ the things I'll teach ya' are sure ta beat 'ya! o/~ Never the less you'll get a lesson from teacha now... (o_o) "Unfortunately," Saikyo continued scratching her head, "that didn't really work out, something about a copyright violation..." "Uh... yeah," said Dan, "but that doesn't explain why you're still powered up." "Oh that," said Saikyo putting a hand behind her head, "I uh, haven't figured out how to change back..." The party facefaulted. Except Illyria who is subject to a running gag that prevents authors from writing him with any extreme emotion. "Hmmm, have you tried taking off the wrist guards?" asked Ard, eyeing her own silver gauntlets. "Yeah," muttered Saikyo, "Didn't work." "This is how I power down," mentioned Kate demonstrating by putting on and taking off her mask. "THAT'S IT!" exulted the ponytailed Dan-fan, "I know how to change back!" With that Saikyo did Dan's perfect victory thumbs up pose while saying: "Yayutchi!" A bright glow was emitted from the gauntlets and when it faded, there stood a young man wearing an outfit very similar to the earlier one with rather messy bluish-black hair. "Saikyo!" he exclaimed. "Not fair," muttered Scott under her breath, "Everyone can change back but me." "I don't get it," said Steve, "Why did you change back?" "Chohatsu Shinwa," SaikyoKun simply stated. Dan, Kate, and Damien nodded sagely. (~_~) Later back at SaikyoKun's old dojo, the party was had lunch. "Say," asked Steve, "Didn't you say you would accept our currency?" "Hey, I just remembered," said Dan looking up from his food, "you have autographed pictures of Dan Hibiki. I haven't bought one yet!" "Dan," Ard deadpanned, "Not everyone thinks Dan Hibiki is that great you know. Some of us don't want to spend money on this." Just then, as glowing blue portal opened next to Saikyo and a handful of gold coins spilled out on the table. Saikyo looked at the coins for a second before reaching into his vest and pulling out one of the said pictures and placing it into the portal. "Pleasure doing bussiness with your Delfina-sama," he said as the portal closed. Ardweden sweatdropped as a faint, but audible "Oosha!" came from the closing portal. "Yeah, since you are the destined heroes and Brock said I was supposed to help you, I can sell you some useful items. I'll give you a good deal too," said Saikyo as he got up and walked to the back room. He returned with a large box of miscellaneous objects and placed it on the table. After checking the contents of the box, SaikyoKun laid out the objects as he explained them. "This," he said holding up the musical instrument from earlier, "Is Expendable Shameisen. If it is played while you walk, you can recover your IP." "IP?" questioned Illyria. "Impro Points." "Nifty," said Kate. "Unfortunately," Dan said, "None of us can play it, so it's virtually useless." "I'll give it to you for 10 chrisnickels." "Sold!" exclaimed Ard handing him the required coins and snatching the musical instrument. "Okay," replied Saikyo pulling out a rock, "This is a magic rock." "What does it do?" asked Steve. "No idea!" enthused Saikyo, "It just has 'Magic Rock' written on the side. I'll give it to you for free since I can't determine it's value." Saikyo handed the rock to Steve who placed it in the party's inventory. Reaching into the box again, Saikyo pulled out a small floppy disk. "This is for Dan, you'll probably be able to find more on your quest," he explained as he handed it over. "What do I do with it?" "Put it into the little slot on your belt." Dan slipped the disk into the slot and waited while a series of whirring and clickings emanated from the belt. After a few seconds, a text box appeared over Dan's head that said: "Dan has learned technique: Boot to da Head!" "Oosha!" exclaimed Dan. The next objects that Saikyo pulled out was a small handful of what appeared to be cards. "Here are some Quadruple Bypass cards I have." Pulling them out and showing them to the party, he named them off. "Here's my card, a Dan Hibiki card, a Demota card, another Dan Hibiki card, a NeoVid card, a Brock card, another Dan Hibiki card, a Damien card, and... well, the rest are more Dan Hibiki cards..." "How much are those?" Kate spoke up, eyes gleaming. "They're not for sale, but you can try and win them off me if you want." (!_!) "And the Illyria card played on a weekday in the middle of two Scott cards on even numbered months that don't contain the letter 'e' when the opponent is sitting with their back to the West in the second floor of a building and carrying at least three things in their pockets gains plus four to both sides. I win again!" Kate chirped happily. "B-But... I... You... that..." SaikyoKun stammered. "Look Sai," said Dan interrupting, "Can we get on with what you were supposed to be doing?" The rest of the party snored in agreement. SaikyoKun lowered his head, "Alright, I guess I can always make some more." "You make cards?!" exclaimed Kate, waking up the rest of the party. "I'm not the only one, but yeah, that's what I do now that my dojo is closed. If I could just get my hands on a Mechona card I could make a really good-" *WHAP* Ard hit him again with her lute. "Just get on with it," she deadpanned. "Alright, fine... Here we have the Autograph of [JUSTICE]" Saikyo continued pulling out an autographed picture of Dan Hibiki that was glowing slightly. "Autograph of Justice?" asked Scott incredulously. "No, Autograph of [JUSTICE]" replied Saikyo using the brackets of [power]. "It costs 10 million Fol, or in your case," Saikyo whipped out a calculator and typed some numbers in before showing it to the party, "This much." Saikyo had never before heard the sound of seven people's jaws hitting the ground at once, but it's amazing what an exorbitantly priced item can do. "You've gotta be kidding us!" exclaimed Steve, "We don't even have 1/100th of that! Nothing can be worth that much!" "Suit yourselves," replied SaikyoKun indifferently putting the autograph into his vest and pulling out the next item. "And THIS," he said pulling out the same round cloth covered object mentioned earlier, "is a Seal of Maguffin!" What is the sound of six people and one phoenix-man facefaulting? SaikyoKun AND the guy living next to him found out. "You mean THAT is the mysterious item?" asked Kate astonished. "Yeah," responded Saikyo, "What else would it be? An interdimensional koosh ball?" He uncovered the object to reveal a Frisbee with a picture of Dan Hibiki on it. "Pretty cool huh?" he asked earnestly. "Uh, actually," interrupted Steve, "That seal you have Saikyo, is something we're looking for." "Really?" asked SaikyoKun blinking, "That's right, you never did tell me your quest..." "That's because you never let us get a word in edgewise," muttered Ard. Upon realizing that the young Saikyo-Ryu enthusiast had one of the coveted seals, the party began to try and persuade him to part with the small plastic object, because they were all reasonable people and could work this out without resorting to violence. (#_#) "ALL RIIIIIIGHT!" wailed Saikyo hanging out the window of his house over the street, while being supported by a rope tied to his foot. A rope that was slowly being burnt through by a candle. "I'll give you the freakin' seal! Just don't let me fall!" Okay, maybe not that reasonable. "Say," asked Scott, "who's seal is that anyhow? An item with Dan Hibiki on it is probably Dan's, but I kinda figured his was the battery from Mechona." "Actually," SaikyoKun chimed in from outside the window, "It's not the seal, I just hid the seal underneath it..." Cue sweatdrops sans Illyria. -[]_[]- Once SaikyoKun was back inside the building he took the seal out of his vest and handed it to Kate. Normally, this would be a good thing. The party had attained another of the coveted seals and were one step closer to getting back to the real world. Unfortunately, nothing ever comes easy and it was this moment at which someone else who also had been watching the party decided to make his move. The worst part about it was that this particular person decided to destroy the building our heroes were in first. Needless to say, the explosion was loud. Boom. Err... let's try that again. *[BOOM!!!]* Much better. (~_~) "Oooooowww," moaned the party except Illyria as they got up. "Ooshowww," moaned Saikyo as he got up. "Meow," meowed a cat that really wasn't important to the plot, but was actually in this story a few chapters ago in the hint shop of Ef Ephimel. "Ah!" exclaimed Kate, "The seal's gone!" "Looking for this?" asked a polkadot capped individual holding up the seal in question. "Ash?!" asked Kate. The young pokemon trainer simply chuckled and threw off his loud cap while pulling out a dark black one. "I was once known by that name, that name has no meaning for me. I am now the..." Ash paused. "The what?" asked Ardweden. "Hey! I was pausing for dramatic effect!" Ash shouted angrily, putting on the black cap. "I was going to say: I am now the... Pokemon Master." "Weren't you that to begin with?" questioned Steve. "Yes, but this time I'm evil," Ash admitted, and I've come to take revenge on all of you! Especially Scott, but especially Kate! No one beats me at Quadruple Bypass!" Ash pulled out a Pokeball and threw it at the party shouting, "I choose you!" "Hey!" exclaimed Dan, "You better... uh..." The current dumbfoundedness of Dan came about when he (and the rest of the party for that matter) saw the monster that came out of the ball. It was nearly as tall as the building that had been destroyed and looked about 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841 times as nasty as the nastiest slime they had encountered. It looked like a combination of a dragon and a bird. Actually, now that I think about it, dragons look kind of like birds already don't they? Well, I guess it just looked like a dragon then. It was colored with a color that looked similar to gold, but was a bit darker. Its eyes glowed green and wisps of flames came from its mouth. Oh yeah, did I say it was big? "It's G-g-gold Weapon!" stammered SaikyoKun, recognizing the beast. "Err," Ash sweatdropped, "Actually this is Pyrite Weapon, I haven't gotten the Gold Stone to evolve it yet. But it's still enough to beat you losers! You heroes are finished! Uh... wait, what's next?" Ash pulled out a notebook and leafed through it, "Let's see: Gloat, introduce monster, mock heroes, laugh maniacally. Oh yeah! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!." "Do you know what you're doing?" asked Scott. "Shut up! I'm new at this!" The current scene blurred as the Ard, Dan, Illyria, Scott, and Kate went into their respective battle modes and Steve and Damien hid. SaikyoKun blinked. Pyrite Weapon meanwhile did nothing as it was proper anime procedure for bad guys to let the heroes do their long power up sequence. "Wai Blaster!" shouted Ard extending her hands and launching a large energy projectile at Pyrite knocking a few yards backwards. "Fire Burst!" exclaimed Kate holding the fire scroll in her hand. A giant magma burst shot up from under the monster launching it into the air. "Pretty Love Sugar Sparkling Death Beam," muttered Scott reluctantly using her attack. A bright light sprung from her wand and sent the monster spinning. "..." Illyria not-said as he jumped up after the monster while delivering a plethora of deadly sword slashes to the dragon like monster before falling away. "Gajin Mecha Slam!" Mecha Dan intoned as he flew up and grabbed Pyrite weapon's tail and slamming him back into the ground. Dan landed next to the party breathing hard after exhausting such a strong attack against the monster. The rest of the party was also somewhat drained and panting slightly. A small white number '1' appeared above Pyrite Weapon's head as it got up. The entire part facefaulted as Ash began to laugh. "Mwahahahahaha! You can't do more than 1 point of damage to Pyrite Weapon as long as he doesn't have his head suck into the ground! You'll never defeat him!" Indeed it seemed like a bleak moment for the party; the monster they were fighting was at far to high a level for them to defeat and they had already exhausted all of their most potent attacks. Doom was most certainly upon them like flies on flytrap... wait, is that a good analogy? Ah, well, they were just about to be defeated when the self-gratuity started in earnest. "Yahooi! Sai! Kyo! Boot to da Head!" Saikyo (now transformed) flew at the monster boot first, knocking it over and then taunting it. "Are you crazy Saikyo?!" asked Kate, "You have *Dan's* powers! You can't possibly hope to beat him!" "That's why I brought some help!" Saikyo taunted the monster again, "SAIKYO TROOPERS! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOSHA!" Suddenly a group of young men and women all dressed like Dan with pink ribbons on their arms rolled out of the allies and stores and taunted the monster with a mighty "OOSHA!" Ardweden twitched. "Ah! Delfina-sama! I didn't think it could get worse!" she cried before developing quite possibly the biggest sweatdrop ever seen in any RPG. The 'Saikyo Troopers' proceeded to distract Pyrite Weapon while SaikyoKun stood off to the side seemingly in deep concentration. Dan noticed it first, "Hey, what's Saikyo doing?" "Knowing her uh, him, er, whatever, he's probably getting ready to perform some kind of ultimate attack like the Absolute Taunting Field," supplied Damien. "Do you suppose we should get out of the way?" asked Scott. "Ack!" exclaimed Steve, "Too late!" Indeed a torrent of pink energy had already gathered around SaikyoKun's standing form and the Saikyo Troopers had rolled out of the way leaving a clear path to Pyrite Weapon. The Pokemon Master uttered an audible "Eep" as Saikyo extended her fist. The improparty prepared themselves for the worst, they prepared themselves for any ultimate attack that could possibly use that kind of energy, they prepared for the near unthinkable. "[[[CHOHATSU DENSETSU SHINWA!!!]]]" Unfortunately, they missed that. It was about this time that time ground to a halt or at least seemed to. The entire party as well as everyone else in the area suddenly found that everything was moving slower. Everything except Saikyo however, who proceeded to pirouette and perform every single taunt from every anime based game EVER. After each pirouette, Saikyo's costume and gender changed to that of another anime character and when s/he stood up, s/he performed that character's taunt. Saikyo performed the taunt attacks of nearly every single taunt imaginable. (All except for Sagat's taunt since Dan fans are against Sagat by principle.) S/he finished the move doing about 10 jumping taunts and performing a thumbs up pose. That took about 30 seconds real time. Then it was over and time started back up again for the party, Ash, err, the Pokemon Master, and Pyrite Weapon. Needless to say the reaction was mixed. "That... was so... COOL!" exclaimed Dan, eyes getting starry in sheer Dan- fandom. "I think I'm gonna be sick," muttered Ardweden as she looked for a place to sit down. "I wasn't aware anyone could look so manly in shiny leather," remarked Scott before realizing what she said and fainting. "...erk," said Illyria, shuddering slightly. "Must boil eyeballs..." muttered Steve as he collapsed. "..." ...ed Kate doing a rather good impression of Illyria complete with the twitching eye. Damien molted. Twice. Pyrite Weapon, for it's part, facefaulted and got it's head buried in the ground, rendering it just as vulnerable as bug in a meat grinder. "Quick!" exclaimed Dan, "Its head is in the ground, we can do more than 1 damage at a time, let's finish it." Unfortunately, the rest of the party was still in shock. Dan groaned and turned to Saikyo. "Hey! Fellow Dan-Fan," he called out, "gimme a hand!" "Oosha!" exclaimed Saikyo, before launching herself in unison with Dan at the monster. "DOUBLE BOOT TO DA HEAD!" The amazing force of the Double Boot To Da Head, caused a huge explosion that launched The Pokemon Master high into the air where he vanished cursing the heroes and swearing revenge. Unfortunately for him, he also dropped the Frisbee. Once the explosion cleared, the number 6.02 x 10^23 appeared over Pyrite and it collapsed in a heap. "Yayutchi!" exclaimed Dan and Saikyo in unison doing a thumbs up pose in unison. Powering down, SaikyoKun surveyed the situation, and picked up the Frisbee containing the seal that Ash had dropped. "Well, looks like that's the end of that chapter! (Unless there a still a few more periods left.)" With that, he started walking over the heroes who were still recovering from his earlier taunt. As he walked past the fallen form of Pyrite Weapon, he failed to notice the faint sparks and electricity coming up from it. The rest of the people and phoenix man did notice it however and began pointing behind Saikyo to get his attention. "Eh?" Saikyo blinked as he turned around, "What the-" *BOOM!* "It looks like Team Saikyo is taunting off agaaaaaaaaain..." wailed SaikyoKun as he was blasted into low orbit making a "ting" sound as he vanished. The Frisbee containing the seal however, was not launched into orbit but flew off in the opposite direction, disappearing as it approached a nearby mountain range. "..." the party said. "Onward!" exclaimed Kate powerposing, "The seal awaits!" The rest of the party groaned and sullenly trudged off towards the mountains. (@_@) Meanwhile miles away. The no-longer-the-main-villain of this fic, E.L. Rutt, was in a dark cave plotting evil and how to get back into this impro. Actually, he was in a house sitting in a chair and... quilting. Yes, you read that correctly. Quilting. "You're good at this Rutt," remarked Triskele leaning over to look at Rutt's stitching. "You think so Tris-chan?" asked the ex-evil character looking at the quilt in his hands. "I never knew how fun it would be to join a quilting group. It's really calming and the worst thing that could happen is getting poked by your needl - do you hear something?" The two quilters raised their heads and listened. Indeed there was a faint "oooo" sound that seemed to be getting louder. Rutt pointed at the ceiling, "I think it's coming from-" "ooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHA!" *CRASH* Rutt was cut off as the Flaming SaikyoKun crashed through the roof and onto said quilter. Fortunately for Rutt, the hard unrelenting floor absorbed some of the blow. SaikyoKun immediately bounced up screaming and rolling on the floor trying to put out his clothes. The Triskele leaned over and looked at the heap of person that was formerly known as E.L. Rutt. "You okay?" "...ow," replied GooRutt. ************ Author's notes: Hey, that was fun, albeit very time consuming. I actually had the a pretty good idea about what I wanted to do for this chapter before I even decided to sign up. From there it just kinda built up until I had so many things I wanted to put in that I had to cut some out. Oh well. Try to find all the RPG references in this part. By my count there are references from... shoot, I forgot, but there's at least 4 of them that I made allusions to. See if you can find all the other references I made as well. Thanks to the following people for pre-reading: ELRutt, Triskele, Stephica and Sharyna. And an extra thanks to: Rutt and Stephica who gave me some ideas. (Beware: High levels of dihydrogen monoxide can cause copious micturition!)