Otaku Wish Fulfillment Theater Started by Scott Schimmel Chapter 28: Friendly skies and unfriendly skies... that, and too many random encounters! By Steven Scougall Airships, in general, are truly a marvel of engineering. Majestically huge and hugely majestic, weighing in at easily more than twenty elephants (at least), the average airship can still float in the air, bobbing gently in the passing breezes. And with a roar of engines, or an unfurling of sails, or engaging whatever system is used to move, it can propel itself easily and quickly through the air towards its destination, with nary a shudder. This airship, specifically, was not quite representative of airships in general. It was old, ramshackle, and couldn't travel for more than a kilometre without juddering slightly. It barely stayed aloft. But it went. More or less. "Well, this is definitely better than walking and swimming all the way," said Steve. The airship jinked a little to the left, his pencil jerked, and his latest attempt at sketching Damien gained an unsightly pencil line right through the middle. He scrutinised the picture carefully, sighed, and tossed it over his shoulder to join the pile of similarly ill-fated sketches. "Damn," said Damien. "That one was almost done too." He ruffled his feathers indignantly. "Can't you steer this thing straight?" he yelled to the pilot. "I'm doing my best!" said Kate. "This thing handles like a brick, though. Do you want to try?" she added, desperately. "Oh no," said Damien. "You wanted to fly this the whole way. You're flying it the whole way." Kate grumbled and returned her attention to the controls. The controls had been a surprise. The airship had resembled an old seafaring ship, with cannons and even a decorative pair of sails. In the spirit of the rest of the ship, the sails were tattered and the design on them faded to the point where they couldn't make it out. But the control room resembled something out of a sci-fi show, with several monitors, lots of flashing lights, a large control panel, a yoke, and lots of gray. Kate had gravitated to it instantly. Steve ignored the mild argument between the sort-of mascot and the pilot and looked out the window. He watched the clouds go by, and the expanse of blue that was the ocean below. It was a very boring view. He looked around the cabin, looking for something to occupy his attention. He had the feeling that there was something wrong about the view. He looked out the window again, trying to work out what it was. But as before, all he saw were clouds, and glimpses of the light blue of the sky and the deep blue of the ocean. There was nothing there that could possibly *be* wrong. Except for the sun missing, he suddenly realised. He'd been able to see it when they took off and the hour after that. Then he'd gotten bored and started trying to sketch the manlike birdlike manlike bird that was their enigmatic sort-of mascot. Now he couldn't see it anywhere, and the day couldn't have gone *that* fast. "Say, Kate," he said. "Yeah?" she asked. "We're supposed to be going in a straight line, right?" "Yes." "And it's only been only two hours since we took off, right?" "Yes. What's up? Is there something wrong?" Steve didn't immediately answer. He got up, walked over to the other side of the room, and peered out the window. He could see the sun off to the side and smacked his palm to his forehead. "Something's wrong?" "We've been going the wrong way for at least an hour," Steve said. He looked at the sun again and tried to remember the angle he'd seen it at through the first window, and did some fast mental geometry. "We're about 135 degrees off course. More or less." "...!" exclaimed Illyria. "That MUCH?" cried Dan. "What happened?" asked Ardweden. "It's the traitor," said Scott, darkly. "Right now, he or she is insidiously tinkering with the controls, putting us directly on a course for Xellos' hideout!" "Or it could just be the constant shaking of the ship throwing us off course," sighed Steve. "What do we do now?" asked Kate. "This computer system doesn't even have a map!" "First, stop the ship!" barked Dan. "Excuse me?" Dan grumbled. Nobody in the team ever listened to him when he, their stalwart leader, was trying to get things done. "Stop. You know, where you hover in place. You don't want to go any further off course, right?" "Oh yeah," said Kate, embarrassed, and brought the ship to a stop. It slowly sank to the water, where it made a slight splashdown and started bobbing up and down. Dan got out the map and spread it over the table. "Okay, here's where we took off from," he said, pointing it out with his laser pointer attachment. "Here's the Isle of Bishounen, where the last seal is, and where we were headed." He activated his erasable pen attachment and drew a line between the two points. "This was our path. Judging from our speed... hm..." He stared at the map for several moments, then drew a circle. "We could be anywhere in here." They looked at the circle. It was depressingly large. "I don't envy trying to find out exactly where we are," said Steve. "And it's not as if there's anybody around to ask directions from," said Damien. A whole lot of lights and alarms went off. The group looked up and saw a sign saying "Emergency! A random encounter has been encountered!" Beside it was a monitor of the deck of the ship, on which there were some vaguely sea-serpent like creatures slithering around. "Let's go!" shouted Kate. "But they're on the deck," said Steve. "Yes, that's right! They're on the deck and invading the ship!" "They don't have hands and can't open the door to belowdecks," Steve went on. Scott turned a withering glare upon him. "Don't you *want* to defend the ship? Are *you* the traitor?" "No. I just don't see any real reason to go up there," asked Steve. "Whatever," said Dan. "I'm off to kick their asses!" He opened the door and dashed up to the deck. Four other people quickly followed him. "This is nuts," said Steve. But he picked up his Chemist Sack and followed anyway. "You said it," said Damien. 0_0 "That was surprisingly easy," said Dan, as he came down the steps. "We must be getting really levelled up!" said Kate. "Wai," said Scott, somewhat sarcastically. "That was *too* easy," said Ardweden. "Speak for yourselves," said Steve, and checked his Chemist Sack. It was definitely a bit lighter than it had been. "We used a few Heal Potions back then. I'm definitely going to need to restock at the next town." "We were trying to work out where we were and what to do," Ardweden reminded everyone. "Can we get back to that?" "Okay," said Dan. He looked at the map, which still had the depressingly large circle on it, and remembered how utterly featureless their surroundings had looked when they were fighting the creatures on the deck. "...we're really lost, aren't we." "No," said Ardweden, "we aren't, because-" The emergency encounter lights, signs, and alarms went off again. "Let's go!" shouted Dan, and sprang through the doorway and up to the deck. Kate, Illyria, Scott, and Ardweden followed him. Steve sighed, picked up the sack, and wandered up the stairs after them, Damien right behind him. 0_0 "Another easy encounter!" said Dan, as he came down the steps. "Very easy," said Ardweden. "..." agreed Illyria. "Speak for yourselves," said Scott. "You're not the ones who yelled 'PRETTY COSMIC WAI WAI SHINYDEATH OF NATURE' and had your clothes vanish." Damien and Dan looked nervously away. Steve, for his part, was counting under his breath. Scott looked suspiciously at Dan. "Did you just say something about my clothes?" "Oh no," said Dan. His gaze fell upon the map, which still had the depressingly large map on it. "We'd better get back to the map-" All the emergency lights, signs, and alarms went off again. "Not another one!" yelled Dan, but sprang through the doorway and up to the deck again, followed shortly by Kate, Illyria, Scott, and Ardweden. "Twenty three," said Steve, to a mostly empty room. "Twenty three?" "There were twenty three seconds between us arriving back in here and this latest encounter. That is *way* too short for a natural random encounter. Someone's sending them after us." "You think so?" "I'm the paranoid Sidekick, of *course* I think so." Steve started searching through the control room. "What are you-" Damien started to say, but Steve held his finger to his lips, then held his hand up to his ear, as if he was listening to something. "Your ear? I don't get it-" Damien then remembered what Steve had said, and, more specifically, what people had been saying when the encounters, for want of a better term, had been encountered. "Oh, I see." "Yes. Well, we'd better get back up there!" said Steve. "After all, as the Sidekick and the Chemist, my services could be useful!" "Yes!" said Damien. "And as a sort of mascot and a phoenix, I should go up there to motivate the team and provide down in case of emergencies!" Steve walked over to the door and opened and closed it noisily. Damien held up a piece of paper. "Where do you think it is?" had been written on it. Clumsily, as a wing can't hold a pencil very well, but it had been written nonetheless. Steve shrugged, and mouthed, "no idea." He sat down at one of the panels and stared thoughtfully into space. Damien held up a sign. "They're doing well," it said. Steve looked questioningly at him and Damien pointed towards the deck monitor. On it, the other five were battling a group of bloblike creatures. Dan was making the most headway against them with his flamethrower attachment. Steve stared at the computer screen in front of him, and an idea formed. 0_0 There was the clanking of Dan's armoured boots on the stairs and the door opened. "Steve! Damien! Why didn't you-" "QUIET! Steve is looking for a bug! Xelloss could be listening in on us!" said the sign that Damien held up right in front of the self- appointed leader's face. "Huh?" said everyone in the returning party. "Why didn't we what?" asked Damien, making 'play along' motions with his wings. "Uh... come right away," Kate hastily improvised. "You took a while to show up." No longer restrained by having to be quiet, Steve started typing normally. The clack of keys filled the cabin. "What are you up to?" asked Ardweden. SEEING IF I CAN FIND ANYTHING FROM HERE, were the words that showed up on the monitor in front of him. "Writing a log of our journey in this world thus far," he said normally. "It's pretty long and complicated, and I thought I'd be able to make sense of things by writing them down." "How far have you gotten?" she asked. "Not very," he said. The computer screen had a different story; THERE'S A LOG OF EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED TO THIS SHIP, Steve typed. JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE, ITS SECURITY IS RAMSHACKLE AND MESSY AND REALLY EASY TO GET PAST, JUST LIKE I HOPED. ACCORDING TO IT, THERE'S DEFINITELY BEEN SOME NEFARIOUS ACTIVITY GOING ON WITH CONSOLE #372-A, WHEREVER *THAT* IS. I CAN'T FIND A MAP OF THE CONSOLES ANYWHERE. "Hm," said Ardweden, looking around for console #372-A. "Continue working on it. It might be useful later." "Hey, look at this!" said Dan, from the communications console in the corner, which conveniently had 372-A written on it in big black letters. He activated the screwdriver attachment on his right little finger, unscrewed the lid of the console, and lifted it clear. Right in front of him was a small microphone, and what looked for all the world like a miniature satellite dish. Everyone stared at it for a while. "If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes," said Ardweden, "I wouldn't have believed it." "Rather pathetic, isn't it?" asked Kate. SOMEONE SUGGEST LOOKING AT THE MAP AND WORKING OUT WHERE TO GO NEXT AGAIN, Steve typed. WE'LL GET ANOTHER ENCOUNTER, COUNT ON IT. WE CAN TALK NORMALLY UP THERE ABOUT WHAT TO DO WITH THIS BUG. "That... uh... really large dead spider doesn't matter, guys!" Ardweden hastily improvised. "We've got to work out where we are! Come on, let's check the map-" Rather predictably, all the emergency lights, signs, and alarms went off as sea serpents, blobs, and some flying fish hopped onto the deck and started milling about. "Let's go!" shouted Dan, and sprang out the door and up the steps, followed closely by everyone else. 0_0 "So what will we do with the bug?" asked Dan, and fired a flame burst at a watery blob. It wailed and evaporated. "No idea," said Kate, as she threw a hail of shuriken at a serpent. It hissed, oozed a lot of green, and collapsed. "If we get rid of it, Xelloss will know we've found it and send something really big after us." "But if we leave it in," said Ardweden as she kicked her way through a group of floating fish, "we'll get an encounter every single time we try to do something, and we'll have to watch what we say all the time." "And Xelloss will know where we are all the time," said Illyria, and sliced a serpent open. "I'm getting sick of all these encounters," said Scott. "I vote we get rid of the stupid bug as soon as we get back. SHINING SHINY LUVLUV WAI PSEUDOATTACKING ACTION!" she shouted, incinerating all the other monsters. "Shining shiny luvluv wai pseudoattacking action?" everybody else asked. "Oh gods, this is getting worse," said Scott. "We have *got* to get out of here before I spout even sillier attack names." 0_0 "Yet another easy encounter," said Dan, as he came down the stairs. "Not to mention a decision," said Ardweden. She picked up the microphone. "Hi Xelloss! Bye Xelloss!" She squeezed, and the microphone steadfastly refused to shatter. "Allow me," said Illyria, and drew his sword. A couple of quick slices later, the microphone was lying on the floor in pieces. The monitors flickered, and the image of everyone's most annoying purple haired trickster priest appeared on every screen in the control room. "Found the bug, huh?" asked Xelloss. "It took you sooner than I thought it would. I think that deserves some sort of award!" There was a very loud crash as something very very large landed on the deck. One of the monitors stopped showing Xelloss long enough to show a gigantic sea serpent coiling around on deck. "Have fun!" said Xelloss, and waved cheerily. "But before I go, just consider this - how did the microphone get on board?" His image disappeared a moment later. 0_0 "How did it get on board?" asked NeoVid. "It's really quite simple. Ash got Crazy Jake to put it there," said Xelloss. "And you asked them that to start them fighting against each other, right?" Yonjuuni said. "You got it!" Xelloss answered, smiling widely. "But why the giant sea serpent?" asked NeoVid. "I thought you said in chapter 17 we're not trying to kill them." "We're not. The sea serpent will be tough on them, but they'll be able to defeat it," Xelloss explained. "And that chemist of theirs will be able to heal them in no time." 0_0 "Let's rumble!" shouted Dan. He activated the DeathLaser attachment, and his suit flickered and disappeared, leaving a startled Dan pointing his ring finger at the decidedly unimpressed sea serpent. "...oops. I'm just off to the recharge station downstairs. I'll be right back." He scurried down the stairs. Ardweden hung back. "What can I do against it? It's too big to be taken on with my martial arts!" Kate threw a number of shuriken, which bounced off the sea serpent's scales. Illyria looked at the scales, at his blade, at the dripping teeth of the serpent, and notably didn't blur into a blaze of action. Scott looked at the reluctant Ardweden, Kate, and Illyria. "Aren't any of you guys going to fight?" she asked. "...we can't hurt it," said Illyria. "Our weapons are- damn!" he finished, scrambling away from the serpent's clumsy attempt to swallow everyone. Its head smashed through the boards and became temporarily stuck. "NOW!" cried Scott. "COSMIC SHOOTING GENTLE STAR POWER!" A beam, with lots of little glowing stars around it, blasted forwards into the serpent's scales. It was followed shortly by a hail of shuriken, and then Illyria and Ardweden pounding on it from opposite sides. This lasted only a moment before the serpent managed to get its head free and reared up, its eyes blazing. A small vial arced up towards it, and the serpent reflexively snapped it out of the air. It looked puzzled for a moment, then screeched and dove overboard. "What just happened?" "A vial of superconcentrated chili essence," said Steve. "I always wondered what use it would be, and I just found one. That didn't get rid of that monster, though. It'll be back once it cools its mouth down." "You IDIOT!" yelled Ardweden. "You just made it really angry!" "...true," said Steve. "But I did buy some time." He poked his head through the hole in the deck's planking. "You recharged yet, Dan?" "This is such an old recharge station!" Dan's voice complained. "It's taking ages!" Steve sighed. "Oh well. I always hoped I wouldn't have to do this again." He concentrated, and the kanji for "magical girl" appeared on his bandanna. The rest of the group had only a fraction of a second to read them, as Steve started to spin and glow and you could barely make out the colour of his shirt, let alone kanji half hidden by his hair. Then he wasn't a he anymore, but a she dressed in a light purple armoured leotard and a short dark green skirt, with boots halfway up her calves and gloves halfway up her forearms. She instinctively powerposed. "I, am Magical Pretty Star Soldier Steph- what the hell am I saying? Why am I posing like this?" "It's automatic," Scott explained. "Why emulate me? I thought you said you'd never copy me again, back when it happened under the De Gemmel lake." "You're our heaviest hitter, and the others are having trouble doing damage. You're the only viable option." Steve sighed. "Believe me, if Dan was recharged I'd be emulating him." There was a huge spray of water, and the screech of a really angry sea serpent. It had cooled down its tongue and returned, and was ready to kick some serious butt. "PRETTY IN PURPLE NOVA BLASTER!" shouted Steve, as a purple blast blasted forwards and blasted the serpent's head. It didn't do much except surprise the creature and slow it down, but that was enough of an opening for Scott. With a shout of "GALACTIC CRY OF WAI!" Scott caused several shockwaves of air to blast upwards and into their adversary, causing it to crash backwards into the water, raising a spray several times taller than the ship. The serpent rose from the other side of the ship and struck downwards, mouth open and fangs gleaming. Everyone scrambled out of the way as it got stuck a second time, then leaped into attacking the monster. Illyria managed to stab between its scales repeatedly, Ardweden struck it several times between the eyes extremely hard, Kate peppered its head with shuriken and Steve shot another Pretty In Purple Nova Blaster. At the end of all that, the serpent's eyes were swirling and it was obviously extremely dizzy. "FINALLY!" shouted Dan. There was a cry of "VICTOLY!", then a mecha- suited Dan flew up from the first hole and powerposed in mid-air. "Sentai Dan is here!" "Hit it!" shouted Scott. Dan was only too happy to do so, as he'd been missing from the battle thus far. He unloaded with every weapon in his arsenal at once. At the same time, Scott yelled something that could be barely heard over the roar of a hundred weapons simultaneously firing, but seemed to involve the moon. An image of the moon appeared behind her, and rays of light shot out from her and homed in on the serpent's head. There was an almighty explosion, leaving nothing of the serpent except subatomic particles drifting to the sea over a ten mile radius. "We finally got the stupid thing..." said Scott, and collapsed to a sitting position. "That Moonbeam Shatter took a lot out of me." Steve picked up her Chemist Sack and rummaged through it before producing a vial of blue liquid. "Here. Take this, it should restore your energy." Scott accepted it gratefully. "Thanks." She looked up at the still female Steve. "Aren't you going to detransform?" "In a minute. I've got to heal us up first." Steve handed out a few vials to the similarly drained combatants, then drank the contents of another. She visibly brightened. "That feels much better. Time to detransform." She concentrated on stopping her emulation, there was a piffle of light as the costume disappeared, and almost instantly noticed that something was wrong. Everybody else noticed it too. "Um, Steve," said Dan eloquently, "you're still a girl." Steve patted her chest, just to make sure that the feeling of her body against her shirt was right. It was. "Well, crap," she said, and keeled over. 0_0 "Alright," said Dan. "We have two things to work out. First, is where the hell we are and how we're going to get to the Isle of the Bishounen. Second is what on earth happened to Steve." Everybody stared out the windows, straining their eyes for any sort of landmarks. Except for Steve, who was rather shellshocked and mumbling incoherently. Dan looked back at Steve, and an idea formed. "Hey, look!" he said loudly. "That cloud looks just like Leona Heidern!" Steve notably failed to spring up and say "Where? Where?" "Um, Steve? It looks just like Leona, you know! And if you look at it right, she hasn't got any clothes on!" The girls whapped him. Well, all of them except for Scott, who hadn't yet worked up a proper sense of female indignation. For that matter, Illyria technically wasn't one of the girls at the moment, and Steve didn't whap Dan for obvious reasons. So, we'll revise that to say that Kate, Ardweden, and Illyria whapped Dan for that comment. Steve, for her part, just sat there and stared into space. Dan grew worried. If Steve couldn't be snapped out of this by the possibility of a cloud that looked like Leona, then the neo-girl was in serious trouble. "Hey," Dan suggested, "how about we deal with Steve's predicament first, then worry about where we are?" "Dan?" said Ardweden. "Yeah?" "What about your Plot Compass?" Dan had clean forgotten about it. "Damn, I clean forgot about it!" he said. "Where was it again?" "If I remember right," said Ardweden, "there's a button underneath the sole of your left boot that was the key to unlocking it." Dan found and pressed the button and heard a click from his left forearm. He slid open one compartment and saw another compartment. He slid that one open and finally found himself gazing upon the piece of clear plastic that was his Plot Compass attachment. There was an arrow pointing in almost the opposite direction they'd been going, and a message saying "Isle of Bishounen. Distance: 1 chapter." "One chapter?" he asked. "What does that mean?" The message hastily revised itself, and now said "a really really long way." "Oh. It must be some weird joke that was programmed into this suit. It doesn't matter. Kate, you're still piloting, right?" "No!" "Fine, fine, Damien, could you pilot, please?" "Me?" Damien waved his wings. "How can I hold the yoke with these wings, Fearless Leader?" "Dan," said Ardweden, "you're the only one who can easily see the Plot Compass anyway. You should pilot." "Fine, fine, geeze," said Dan, and sat down at the controls. "How does this work?" He pressed a button, and the ship lifted off with no juddering and started flying forwards. "...it's just beginner's luck," said Kate, who hadn't been able to take off so smoothly. "Very nice beginner's luck," grinned Dan, and took hold of the control yoke. The ship almost immediately did a hard left. He yelped in surprise and yanked it back on course. After everyone had finished berating Dan for the rough ride, they turned to the next item on the agenda. Namely, Steve, and what had happened to her. "My best guess," said Scott, "is that somehow she overwrote her base male form with the base female form that the magical girl archetype has. How, I have no idea." "I didn't have this trouble when I emulated you before," moaned Steve. "I just detransformed normally and I was my usual male self. What happened this time?" "Those blue vials!" said Ardweden. "Steve, what was in them?" "Revitalisation potion," Steve said promptly. "It boosts your energy drastically and accelerates your healing process to many times normal. I don't see how they could have-" She broke off and groaned in realisation. "Actually, yes I do. If I was female when I took it, and there really is a difference of 'male energy' and 'female energy', then it boosted my 'female energy', and probably overwrote my base form like that." Everyone stared at her. "When did you learn all that technobabble?" asked Damien. "He's a chemist," said Kate. "Maybe Steve got a lot of subliminial chemist knowledge when he got the chemist robe and sack." "But if we know that, how do we change him back?" "It's obvious," Illyria said, sounding vaguely annoyed. "Have him emulate me, take a vial, then stop emulating me. That'll overwrite his base form with a male one." "If my theory's right, that'd work great," said Steve, "except for one small detail." She picked up the sack and held it open, letting everyone see the complete lack of blue anywhere. "That small detail is that I'm right out of Revitalisation Potions. I'm completely out and need to buy some more. When's the next shopping trip?" The airship suddenly boosted forwards to ludicrous speed for a few seconds, then stopped dead in midair. Strangely, the extremely rapid acceleration and deceleration produced no horrible G-forces that immediately killed everyone. It's just one of those things. "...sorry," Dan said. "I thought that was the 'seek out nearby town' button. Instead it was the turbocharge." "Where are we?" Ardweden looked out the window. "The Isle of Bishounen, at long last," she announced. "Do they have any shops I can resupply at?" asked Steve. (To be continued) Author's Notes -------------- Bet you thought that with me writing this chapter they'd be running into the De Gemmel Flying Hideout, huh? ^_~ I had the idea for Steve accidentally overwriting his base form a short while after writing chapter 7, and decided I had to put it in sometime. And here you are. I had fun writing this chapter. Unfortunately, I got to it very late due to writing scenes for Ultra #80 and so this hasn't been preread. Hopefully it's fine. Thanks for reading. Steven Scougall http://www.crosswinds.net/~sscougall/ 11th August 2001