Finally it had been done: a successful full chibification. Eugene sat in his upstairs bedroom in front of, as always, the computer. It was no longer simply "getting" late. Late had long since departed as the figurative adjective. The time had passed late, continued on down for three city blocks and took a left. It was so exponentially late, it was early. Yet he continued to ignore the calls of his mother to go to bed. 'The computer will be there when I wake up, indeed. What did she know of his plans, his hopes, his dreams, or that nightmare he had last week with all the squirrels? She did not know him and never had. She was just an obstacle.' He would not allow her to upset his mission... again. Both his parents were like that. It was never, "Oh, Eugene, what a good job you did on decorating your room." It was more like, "Eugene, why are your walls covered with posters of half-naked cartoon girls?" They didn't understand the otaku side of him at all. They always told him go "outside" and play for a bit and try to get a tan, his pale physique was starting to make them sick. 'Outside, bah! What do they know? Wasting away their lives with social interaction. Not for me. No way. Otaku Force is the only social interaction I need.' Speaking of which, he was currently online checking the news on the Otaku Force Homepage. The tests results on "Katie" proved beyond a shadow of a doubt she was completely chibified. It even gave a listing of the exact chemical formula she used to attain her chibi state. Right above it was a giant, red "DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME" label. Joining Otaku Force was the greatest event in Eugene's life. Although not one of the simplest things he ever attempted. He had watched anime all his life, starting, as many did, with Robotech. Once he received his home computer he spent all day everyday searching the web for everything anime. One late night, as he combed the IRC server channels, he met a very interesting person who, told Eugene about a group he helped to run called Otaku Force... once he was done uploading half a gig of hentai. "However," the person warned, "Do not take the entrance exam lightly. It, by its very nature, will peer deep into your soul and find that which is most otaku about you. You must not fear it however. You must learn to use this to your advantage." After passing the test with flying colors, Eugene said aloud, in a slow, steady voice, "There, now I don't _need_ any real friends; I belong to this mighty organization!" "Shut up and go to bed!" His mother's shout snapped him back into consciousness. 'Oh no, I'm starting to day dream... and it's night! Need... more... caffeine... but after that, they will *ALL* pay,' He thought maniacally to himself. His grasp on reality could be heard crumbling faintly in the background, as he went downstairs to search for a can of Jolt. As he descended the steps, his fried egg of a mind began to wander back to... school. *Lightning Effects* He was never very popular or "cool" as the cool kids like to say. At school no one ever talked to him voluntarily. He never did well with the girls. At times he could be witty. But that just gave him the label of "unique". * * * The Big, Big Dictionary of High School Slang defines unique as "Often times humorous or amusing, but combined with several odd personality quirks; definitely not date-able." The pocket version said simply, "see loser." * * * Back in his room, with a renewed sense of energy, Eugene examined himself in the mirror. He hated his looks. His hair always grew out of control into a giant afro, he was overweight, and worst of all he nearly blind, forcing him to wear glasses _all_ the time. How could anyone ever be interested in dating him? All this would soon change, however. For Eugene was an avid fan of anime and anime accessories. He knew how all the girls flocked to the bishounens. Studying this with great tenacity, he would spend hours on end carefully researching the correct angles at which the chin should curve in towards the neck. That the Adam's Apple was never apparent in any bishounen until the climactic high quality fashion-shot animations were used. He watched every bishounen he could, studying the smooth complexions of their skin, the warm glow that always appeared to shine from their souls through their deeply colored eyes, the way their hair blew about as if in a constant breeze, even indoors with the windows shut, the way they always stood tall and confident even in the most desperate of situations. He studied every inch of the bishounen anatomy... Not that he was gay or anything, he would told assure himself in a deep, manly voice. Suddenly, his TV flicked on. Jerry Seinfeld was on the screen holding up his hands saying, "Not that there's anything wrong with that." It switched back to the off position quicker than it takes to get bored with watching Seinfeld. Using a modified version of the chibi formula, Eugene would become... (Dramatic Pause) ... a BISHOUNEN! Which was, creepily enough, the category of anime he excelled at on the exam. After he transformed, no girl anywhere would ever be able to resist his "uniqueness". But he wouldn't stop there, oh no. Soon he would get his own talk show and write a book trashing the whole Hollywood system. Then when the time was right, he would make a movie documenting his struggle, an anime movie. The critics would trash it but it will do remarkably well in the box office. With the money he made off the film, written and directed by himself of course, he would buy a small island in the Pacific. There he would live with many beautiful girls in all the clothing that would fit into an eggshell. It was almost too simple. Using the Mad Chemistry Skeelz he developed from several grueling minutes pouring over volume after volume of Chemistry For Morons (not affiliated with the "For Dummies" line of books or their affiliated publisher) and books of crossword puzzles, he came up with a formula that was guaranteed to work. Well he was 87.3% sure it would work, hopefully. He would wait until morning, after his parents left for work, to create his concoction. It was almost too easy. I hate that cliché. ~!@#$%^&*()_+ PROJECT CHIBIFICATION Chapter 2: Continuation/Plot Developing Whatever Started by: Lady Brick This chapter written by: ELRutt +_)(*&^%$#@!~ "So why are you releasing the formula if you don't want anyone to use it?" Katie asked Anna in a setting she was becoming very accustomed to. They were sitting together in Anna's office, having their two person discussion group. Anna sat behind her desk, as per usual. Katie lounged on the pleather couch. It was almost like therapy for Katie, except Anna never offered any helpful solutions to her problems. All she did was reassure her that everything was not as bad as it seemed. Come to think of it, it was pretty much like therapy. After the initial shock, Katie thought being chibi would be great fun. Great fun after the experiments were over, that is. But they never seemed to end. Everyday the AEIOU would stretch her limbs to see how far they'd go or drop silly and extremely heavy things on her head, like anvils or grand pianos, to see the side effects. But it wasn't so much the pain that bothered her as the open-backed medical gowns (designed by Brett) they forced her wear. "Because if we didn't put it up, people would just pester us till we did anyway. It's sort of like reverse psychology, only different," Anna responded in her usual business-like fashion. "Well, what if someone tries to recreate the experiment?" "They won't." "How can you be so sure?" "Because we put a warning label on it." "Yeah, but do warning labels stop kids from visiting porn sites?" "This is different though." "How so?" "Uh... I think it's time for more experiments." Katie sweatdropped at this. Deedee mad-rushed in to collect it in a jar, as several large men in white lab coats entered the room, behind her and carried Katie bodily to the lab. * * * Eugene awoke bright and early the next morning. It was not long before he realized that it wasn't bright enough out and also way too early. His parents had not yet left for work, so he went back to sleep. * * * Nothing significant happened to Katie during this interval. * * * He awoke again much later, checked to make sure his parents were gone, tested the brightness level and began the preparations for the transformation. He gathered all the necessary items from through out his house. The paints, the hair care products, all of it went into the tub of the upstairs bathroom. He then went to the fridge to grab the Werstisha... Worsteshoes... Wurstshower... Werstishistashire (this word had always caused him great angst, how ironic his master plan revolved around it) ...The Sauce. This was his super-powerful, secret ingredient. Through his calculations he discovered that with the proper amount of... The Sauce he would attain bishouneness. He added The Sauce, then he added more, still not sure he added even more... sauce. Finally he added the talking Pikachu from Burger King. "Pika, pika..." *fizzlespark* "BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!", the bathroom exclaimed. * * * Katie once again sat in Anna's office. The experiments were through... for now. She looked a little worse for wear, which was the understatement of the century seeing as her entire body was one big bandage. Where a normal person would have suffocated in such a get-up, Katie seemed to breathe just fine, but then it's already been made blatantly obvious that Katie was far from normal. She looked like a little mummy, a small, cute mummy. "Mmph m mmr mmmph mmmmrph mm mmrmmmphr mm r mmr phmm mmphmmphmm?" Katie asked Anna through the many layers of ace wrap and gauss. "What?" Anna sought clarification like any human being would do if they were trying to carry out a decent conversation with chibified mummy. (Or is that mummified chibi?) "Mm mmph, 'mmph m mmr mmmph mmmmrph mm mmrmmmphr mm r mmr phmm mmphmmphmm?'" Katie reiterated, still quite unclear. "I didn't quite catch that." "MMPH M MMR MMMPH MMMMRPH MM MMRMMMPHR MM R MMR PHMM MMPHMMPHMM?!" Katie screamed. "I'm sorry, I can't understand a word you're saying through all those bandages." Katie's mummy face turned beat red, then mauve, then crimson, then a shade of red that could only be described as... very. Steam began to shoot out of the bandaged ears. Then, with quite an impressive display of undirected kinetic energy, all the of the bandages around Katie's body exploded off in every direction. Katie jumped ten feet into the air, which is quite a feat considering the ceiling was only eight feet high, and flailed her arms about wildly. "[I SAID, 'WHY DO I NEED TO BE WRAPPED UP IN ALL THESE BANDAGES?!?!?!']" she screamed so incredibly loudly that, had Anna been paying attention to the question, her eyeballs would have popped out and rolled around on the floor, all her skin would have melted off, and her brain would have been turned into feta cheese, in theory, of course. As it was, Anna wasn't listening, so her eyes did not pop out and roll on the floor, her skin didn't melt off, and her brain didn't turn to feta cheese and thus leaving the theory unproven. Lucky for Anna; unlucky for the AEIOU. The only effect resulting from Katie explosion of chibi force was all the furniture in the room being blow out the window and landing in an organized pile outside, next to the dumpster. Deedee, who was about to enter Anna's office, was instead blown against the wall opposite Anna's door. "Fascinating," she panted while trying to catch her breath. She stood back up and brushed herself off. Quickly, she took a guess at the relative air pressure and wind velocity. After checking her watch, she began scribbling furiously in her notebook. Anna, sitting on the floor in the middle of the bare room, looked up, "I'm sorry, did you say something?" * * * Eugene awoke to find his bathroom demolished; his parents were going to kill him. It would be just like them to do that too. He crawled to his feet and looked in the bathroom mirror. He looked the same. 'Dammit,' he thought, 'I must not have used enough werstisha-- The Sauce.' All of a sudden his forehead started to tingle and itch. A small lump was forming on his head, as if something were growing under the skin. He touched it, experimentally. It felt like a tiny creature was wiggling around under the surface. He pulled back his hand in disgust. As he watched it, the lump grew, it soon turned into a bump, even closing in on becoming a mound, after that it morphed into a bulge. He decided to go in for a closer look. Slowly, he moved his head closer to the mirror. Now, he was so close to the glass he could touch it with his tongue, if he was into that sort of thing. To his great surprise, a horn burst forth. The mirror, apparently, was also caught by surprise as it shattered the moment the horn crashed into it. 'Perhaps a little _too_ much of... The Sauce...' he thought to himself as he felt his new found appendage. It was so smooth. It felt polished. 'Must be that "new horn" feel.' Everything around him blended together and grew hair. He squinted his eyes in frustration as he took off his glasses to clean them on his shirt. While gazing downward, he discovered he could see perfectly well without his glasses on. In fact, he could see even better. To test his new found vision, he peered out the "newly remodeled" bathroom window (Read: the huge gaping hole in the wall created by the explosion) and was able to read the license plate on his parents car, which was odd since the car was in the garage and the door was closed. He felt his body also starting to enhance itself. Muscles grew in places muscles weren't normally supposed to grow in. Veins all over his body, became clearly visible under the skin as his legs and arms expanded from their normal puny state into massive sides of beef. His pimply complexion cleared itself up. Much to his displeasure, his favorite Weiss Kreuz Bishounen shirt tore apart to make room for his newly expanded manly pectoral muscles. Soon, his stature became so massive that his head pressed itself against the ceiling. With his newly expanded neck muscles, his head busted out an enormous hole into the attic. "Wow, this is--" Eugene's mouth gaped. Had he just said that? His voice become so deep and resonant it shook the walls. "Hello?" "Rumble," The walls replied. Indeed, it was his voice. "Hey, this would be pretty cool if I didn't have the horn." "Rumble, rumble," the walls agreed. As his body changed, his thoughts became more and more complex. Growing beyond simple wishing for guy/girl interaction (or even to witness some girl/girl interaction) to much grander concepts such as the meaning of life, the extent of the universe and how the bus door gets closed when the bus driver gets off. "... whoa," He expounded in much the same mentally enlightened manner as Keanu Reeves did in The Matrix. To get his mind off such eye-crossing philosophical dilemmas Eugene sat down on the can and picked up a copy of Reader's Digest. "Oh, a story about boy overcoming the odds and triumphing against diversity. 'My New Wardrobe' by Barry Davidson." * * * Katie sat alone in her room in the heart of the Otaku Force complex. A room which had become her prison despite the flowery wallpaper. She soon began to realize the experiments would never stop. The AEIOU would always want more. She must escape, she finally decided to herself. But how? She began to list all the things she had in her favor. She was chibi, which meant the laws of physics did not apply to her. She was small, so she could fit into places other people couldn't. She looked good in a hat... Those were all good examples... well, maybe not the hat. Now she just needed to come up with a workable plan. * * * Eugene wandered out of the upstairs bathroom, seeking nourishment. He tromped down the steps and entered his kitchen. What in this house could possibly feed his increased bulk and metabolism? Tearing off the refrigerator door, he peaked inside. There was nothing in there but a box of baking soda and a block of moving green cheese. He ate them. Next he tore off the pantry door. In it, he found a large, conveniently placed sack of potatoes. 'Almost seems like a plot device,' he thought as he grabbed one of the potatoes firmly yet gently. After several carefully placed sniffs, he decided it smelt decent enough... for a potato. His imagination began to wander, his thoughts were soon full of images of baked potatoes baking on summer's night in Bangkok. As his mind journeyed through the distant land of La, an odd smell drifted into his enormous nostrils. Looking down at the source, he witnessed an extremely peculiar site: the potato was baking in his hand. "Amazing," he remarked, "I simply imagined the potato baking and it baked." This was followed by an "OW, HOT!" and the subsequent dropping of the potato. Deciding his powers needed to be tested further, he scanned the kitchen for a... volunteer. First he checked the counter: 'pan... pan... pan... pot... pan... Nothing of use there.' He looked down at the floor next. It was flat. On the table, the cat. 'Ah, what the heck? I always wanted a talking cat anyway.' With all his concentration he glared at Commander Fuzz, 'Talk. Talk! TALK!!' *FOOM!* "Oh my, whoever are you?" Commander Fuzz asked in a pompous British accent. "IT WORKED!!" Eugene cried out in triumph. "What worked and who the bloody hell are you, by gum?" Commander Fuzz demanded. "I am Eugene! The kid that has fed you since you were a kitten!" He exclaimed in an overly dramatic and self-serving manner. Commander Fuzz looked skeptical, for a cat, so Eugene offered his hand for his cat to smell. He reached his head over to investigate, "I say, you _are_ the bearer of food. My, you have certainly grown big, ugly and green." "Green?!" Eugene looked around the kitchen for a reflective surface to see for himself. Unfortunately, nothing was clean enough for use as a mirror. A quick dash to the bathroom (the _downstairs_ bathroom) and few seconds staring at his reflection over the sink, he observed that his skin was certainly developing a greenish tint but even worse it looked scaly. He touched his face to study the texture, when he reached up he noticed his hands. His fingers had become claws. Long sharp pointed claws that could rip a man (or cat) in twain or tear open an envelope before you had a chance to say, "Wait, that one's for your father!" He soon realized that his was definitely not bishounen. ...He wasn't even human. "I'm becoming a monster!" He screamed at his reflection, horrified. His advanced new mind would not accept this, the wheels were already turning. He began to sink deep into thought. A minute passed. He started to put the pieces together, "I am a Youma, but I'm also a genius. That must mean I have become a Youma General, a *SUPERYOUMAGENERAL*!" He raised his arms in the air for dramatic effect. His arms flew up with such strength and speed that when they came in contact with the wall, it simply disintegrated. Eyeing the mess he just made, Eugene began to laugh maniacally. Commander Fuzz padded into the bathroom. "I say old chap, how's about fixing me a yummy dish of feline delectables before the superior ones arrive at our domicile?" Eugene stopped laughing and glanced down at the cat. "You're right! My parents will be home soon, won't they? Which means I have a mess to clean up!" Totally ignoring Commander Fuzz's plea for nourishment and the mess he just finished making, he rushed out of the bathroom to the other bathroom at a speed much faster than one might expect for a creature his size. "Oh yes, fine! Clean your mess! I wanted to starve anyway!" Commander Fuzz trotted off in a huff. "I'll just go take a nap!" And nap he did. * * * "I'm worried about Katie," Deedee stated while sitting on the cool tile floor of Anna's office. "What about?" Anna asked. All the officers of Otaku force were in Anna's office for the semi-daily staff meeting. "Her powers seem to grow everyday. Just look what she did to your office." "What do you propose we do about her?" Anna looked at each of her officers. All four officers took a moment to ponder this. Brett spoke up, "What if we took lewd photos of her in compromising positions and threatened blackmail." Everyone fell over. "That's your solution to everything," Deedee pointed out, as she picked herself up off the floor and returned to her sitting position... on the floor. "Well, so far we haven't tried it. It might work!" Brett countered. Deedee jumped up, "Youpervertedidiotgetyourmindoutofthegutterwe'retryingtohelpan innocentgirlhere!!!" She received awkward looks from everyone. "I... I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. It must be all this exposure to Katie," Deedee tried to explain. Anna, sensible as ever, brought the discussion back on track, "One thing is certain, the more experiments we do, the less she'll voluntarily stay." "What... what are you suggesting? That we stop the experiments?" Deedee asked, a little frightened. "No, the experiments must continue. We must know what she's capable of, plus they make great postcards." Anna held up a stack of postcards with Katie's stretched out, stomped on, chibi frame all over them. "We just need to find a way to keep her under our control." "If can just change the subject for a second," Cecil changed the subject, "I think we may have a bigger problem on our hands. This post to our message board posted by a member in the Los Angeles region worries me." Cecil handed out copies to everyone. "I think we might have another case of deformation on our hands." "Oo, I like this font, and the colors..." Brett complimented. "Just shut up and read it," Cecil retorted. * * * Dear friends at Otaku Force, I can not bear to live a human existence any longer. No one respects me. My parents don't understand me. I have no friends. Even my cat won't talk to me. I have decided my life needed a major change. Against the better judgment of your warning label, I have taken the recipe for chibification as used by the Great Katie and have specially modified it in a manner which will hopefully let me become a bishounen. In my new bishounen state I will become too cool for the internet or even anime. So this is my letter of farewell. I will never see any of you on IRC again. I hope you can respect that and be happy for me. If you're not, I really don't care. I'm going to be bishounen and you're not, so nyah. :P The Silent Bishounen * * * "Cecil, I thought you said the warning label would keep anyone from trying the stupid formula! What is this?!" "Uh... well Anna, it should've stopped any sane, rational person from using it." "Dammit man, these are otaku, sanity and rationality left them a long time ago! What did this 'Silent Bishounen' get on the entrance exam, anyway?" Brett spoke up, "3409." "3409? A perfect score?! MY GOD PEOPLE WE ARE DEALING WITH A MANIAC HERE!!!" Anna burst in action. "Rally the troops! Raise the flag! Clean the carpet! Get me new furniture! And someone find me a donut! This is a-" she quickly consulted the Otaku Force Handbook, "Level E-12, Top Emergency, Red Alert, people!" "NOT A LETTER-A!!" All the officers shouted together creating a fantastic moment of harmony. Otaku's throughout the complex burst into action. * * * Eugene, now sufficiently fed and still quite green and scaly, stared at the mess of plaster, porcelain, glass, metal and oozing chemical waste that was the upstairs bathroom. With all the intensity of an aardvark on PCP, he threw his will the chaos before him. 'CLEAN UP!' He thought, his eyes glowing neon red. *FOOM!* The bathroom looked spotless; Eugene looked distressed. "It's too clean. They'll never buy it." 'SLIGHTLY MESSY' He thought. *FOOM!* The bathroom exploded. "Wow, don't know my own strength...", a thin smile, typical of evil beings, spread across his face. The bathroom was left as is. He was a Superyoumageneral now and above such petty worries as obliterated bathrooms. It was time to plan his evil empire. Back in his room, he made a list of things to do on the path to world domination. Across the top of the note pad he wrote, "THINGS TO DO ON MY PATH TO WORLD DOMINATION". His first decision was he needed to hire henchmen. *scribble, scribble* Lots and lots of Henchmen. *scribble* "Stupid pen." He tossed it into the waste receptacle. Grabbing a pencil from his Limited Edition Tuxedo Mask Collector's Cup, he began to write down his steps. "Hire... Henchmen..." He paused. "I wonder how much a henchman costs to employ..." He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket. A moth flew out as he opened it. "Eww, gross!" He screeched. *FOOM!* The moth burst into flames and died an hammed up, drawn out too far for such a minor character death on the carpet. Bringing his attention back to his barren wallet, he made an amendment to the list. "Not the really expensive kind though, God-like super powers did not come with a limitless supply of monitory surplus... or did they?" Giving his wallet the evil eye, he thought, "MONEY!" *FOOM!* He liked that sound. Loads of cash flew out of his wallet spilling all over his room. He danced around, "o/~ I'm into money! I'm into money! I got a lot of what it... something, something... o/~" Now that he was assured of the financial support every evil genius needs, he would put out an add in the newspaper. TALL, DARK AND EVIL GENIUS SEEKS HIGHLY SKILLED WARRIORS FOR CARRYING OUT PLANS OF FUTURE DEATH AND DESTRUCTION. ALL APPLICANTS MUST ENJOY MURDER, SUFFERING, PAIN AND LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH UNDER THE MOONLIGHT... Inspiration struck for step two, "Find Evil Mistress." Next he would need a base of operations. His parents would be greatly displeased with him if he started hanging out with strange evil men in his room. After that he needed a philosophy. Something to live and die by, something to rally his troops behind, something to strike fear into the hearts of those who would oppose him, something that would fit on a T-shirt. Picking up the phone, he dialed operator who would connect him to the Times and inadvertently release heck on earth. His name was Frank. * * * "Are you sure this is the right address?" Brett asked Cecil as he emerged from the Official Mini-van of Otaku Force. The Mini-van was painted sea-foam green and had a colorful graphic on the side with "Otaku Force: The Mini-van" written down the middle in big neon lettering. It had been specially modified by Brett for transportation to places of anime entertainment viewing. "Of course, I'm sure." Cecil communicated with Brett from the relative safety of his office at Otaku Force headquarters. Brett was on his high dollar, designer cellular phone. Using his mad computer skeelz to hack the ISP and trace the IP address of message board post, Cecil had found the home address of the anonymous poster... again. According to his latest calculations, the post was made in that house. "That's what you said the last time," Brett replied as he popped open the back of the mini-van to get at his equipment: a tazer, three feet of rope, a large, empty sack and the latest issue of Hentaimerica. He added "You know those other three guys weren't too happy about being tazered." "Well maybe if you weren't so trigger happy with the stupid tazer," Cecil countered. "Why do you have to be so jumpy anyway?" "You try being the one out here putting his life on the line to help some kid you don't even know and see how you handle under pressure," Brett stepped onto the front walk and gazed at the enormous house before him. The lawn alone was huge. The house itself dwarfed his puny human frame. It stood over two-stories high with drapes covering every single window. It most likely had both an up- and downstairs bath. Maybe even a pool. Had he not been trained specifically for big house combat, he would have run on the spot. "Careful of that house," Cecil warned, quite unnecessarily, as he brought up the city guide program and checked the history of the house. "It's a big one." "That's what she said," insinuated Brett. "Man, this is no time for you to being thinking Hentai thoughts." "Hentai thoughts are the only thoughts I know how to think." The lone Otaku Force officer strolled up the walk to the front door. "Oh man," Cecil wondered out loud, "how did I ever get volunteered for this mission... with _you_ of all people..." "You're lucky you have *ME* here to run these stupid errands for you. You wouldn't want to be the one out here on the front line. Besides the other two officers are female, remember. They wanted us to busy ourselves with saving this kid, so they could have some time alone together to..." 'I hate it when he goes into graphic detail,' Cecil thought to himself. The Brett finally reached the front door, in what seemed like an eternity to Cecil but was actually only a minute and a half. "Okay, you better shut up now," Cecil told Brett as he rang the bell. Brett ignoring Cecil continued, "...now once they have reached the bedroom with the whip-cream in hand, the midget puts down the umbrella and the zebra..." When no answer came, Brett rang the bell again. On the third impatient ring Brett had enough, "I don't think anybody's home. What a waste of time. I'm-" Before he had a chance to finish his thought the door creaked open... * * * Frank from the newspaper had been surprisingly useless. Not only would he not print Eugene's ad, but he even went as far to call him a loony. He decided then that he needed to make a new list and _Frank_ would be at the top of that one. He needed minions and his every attempt so far had failed, not a very good tract record for an Evil Overlord. "I need minions!" He cried out in rage. As if to answer his call the doorbell rang. "Coming!" 'Wow, _that_ was easy.' He thought to himself as he opened the door. ~!@#$%^&*()_+ AUTHOR'S NOTES: I was inspired to write this part as soon as I read Project Chibification. I signed up for it as soon I learned of it being posted. Immediately afterwards I began this part, without even waiting to make sure I was first in the queue. Luckily I was. So hear is the part, in all it's original glory. Eugene is actually a hybrid character based partially on Rags and myself. And Frank... well Frank's a nice name. Robin Day's got a hedgehog called Frank. Thanks first off, are due to Rags who a lot of Eugene's traumatic personal issues are based off of his tales of high school woe. He actually gasped in horror as he read the unique part (apparently he's not over that, sorry dude). He, by the way, wrote the way to high in detail description of bishounens, which is kinda creepy. He also wins the award for inspiring the most rewrites. Of course, he tends to do that to ALL my fics. Thanks dude, you are the most unique person I know. Thanks go to Lady Brick for writing such an awesome starter and for prereading. Also she told me I had the character names all wrong, forcing me to search the entire part for every occurrence of the name "Barry", not an easy task let me tell you. That is all that remains in this part of the accursed name. She also inspired a couple rewrites. Thank you Platypus for spelling and grammar help as well.