The first thing Katie saw when she woke up was black leather. Lots of it. And a chain. And a big green guy. Of course, Katie put two and two together, as the saying goes. "Brett? When did you get so big and green?... Where am I, anyway?" she asked woozily. As coherent thought slowly returned, Katie realised that nothing kinky was really going on, she was just sitting on a leather couch with a chain attached to a big lead ball locked onto her leg. Katie frowned, trying to piece together her last memories. She blushed at the thought of she and Frank almost... "Katie! You've awakened! ...And you're in my war room, the centre of my operations, from where I shall take over the world!" Eugene exclaimed and explained, derailing Katie's miniaturized (of course) train of thought. His toothy, reptilian grin startled her, and Katie's eyes tripled in size. She tried to jump back, but quickly discovered that the chain she had spied earlier was attached to her foot, preventing escape. Eugene didn't seem to notice her struggles, instead, he was practically jumping up and down with glee. "This is wonderful! Now that I have a Dark Queen, everything will be great and I can take over the world!" "Dark Queen? You... don't mean me... do you?" Katie said, dreading the response. Eugene looked at Katie in confusion. "Of course I mean you. Who else would I be talking about? Didn't I already explain this, anyway?" "But why do you need a Dark Queen?" Katie asked in desperation. As soon as the words left her mouth, she realised they were the wrong ones. "I'm a SUPERYOUMAGENERAL, and *every* SUPERYOUMAGENERAL needs a Dark Queen. Someone to help me form evil plans. To help dispose of my enemies. To make me milk and cookies when I come home after a long day's plotting and just can't get to sleep..." "But that's crazy! You don't really..." Katie noticed that Eugene had turned around and just kept on babbling, not even listening to her talk. "...And of course in Sailor Moon, Queen Beryl had her four generals, and we can't forget Escaflowne, which didn't really work that way at all, but still..." He trailed off, and turned back to face Katie again. "But Dark Queen Katie... I just don't like it. Dark Queen Kate has a better ring to it, but that would be too Days of Our Lives... Hmm." Eugene was deep in thought, when suddenly a big, green light bulb lit up above his head. "Perfect!" Eugene cried, "You shall be called... Dark Queen Katarina. Named after my first goldfish, you know." Katie groaned. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* PROJECT CHIBIFICATION Created by Lady Brick This part by Dayglo Part Nine - Madcap Hijinx Ensue *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* "And you're sure this castle was never there before yesterday? ...Well, who owns the land? ...I see. Well, thanks for your help... Yes, yes, I know the ad said a reward was offered, just give me your mailing address... two hundred dollars? Well that's a little more than I had in mind, but I guess I can afford it... thanks again. Bye now." Frank hung up the phone, and finished scribbling down the address. "Well?" asked Rosa expectantly. "It looks like we've found her. Apparently, a castle just suddenly appeared yesterday, near a small town upstate... the owner claims he 'won the lottery', but a lot of the townspeople just don't buy it." Frank explained. Rosa nodded. "I can't believe we finally found her... I was starting to think we never would." Rosa said, suspiciously. Frank sighed. "Rosa, you can't really believe that Otaku Force is behind this. We saw Eugene, and Katie told us herself how much he hates them." "Oh Frank, you just don't get it. This isn't about Otaku Force, or Eugene, or even Katie... its about the A.E.I.O.U. They're dangerous! How much do we really know about them? For all we know, they could be one wing of the secret worldwide government!" Rosa had a dangerous gleam in her eye, and Frank groaned. "Look, lets just go find her, okay?" he said, getting up. "We can worry about that sort of thing later." *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* Josh hadn't checked his email in weeks. So it was really no surprise when he opened his hotmail account (dragonballZfan5383@hotmail.com) and had 129 new messages (Well, okay, it was a surprise to Cecil, who was used to getting that much every two days). After deleting all the spam, Josh was left with a grand total of... 22 new messages. Five were from his considerably more web-savvy friend Ryan (the same friend who had, incidentally, loaned Josh the Ranma 1/2 tape that cursed him), fifteen were from his Dragonball Z mailing list, one was from his cousin in North Haverbrook, and the last one was from someone with a nick he didn't recognize. Clicking on the message, he noticed the email address. "Cecil, you better take a look at this." Josh said, turning toward the mecha otaku. Cecil put down his half-completed Evangelion 03 model and headed toward the computer Josh was working at. "What is it? Not another one of those stupid 'virus alerts' I hope. I already explained to you those are just spam..." Cecil stopped, as he caught sight of the email address in the from field: superyoumageneral@mailcity.com "Just read it." Josh said, beginning to read the message himself. Dear Josh, So, you think you can take over the world do you? Well you can't. You're just a dense Dragonball Z fanboy with disturbing stalker experience. How do I know all of this, you ask? I'll tell you... in time. And, by the way, replacing my parents with robots was uncalled for. Of course you know I'm not going to take this. I could destroy you right now... but I'm not going to. Because I believe in ending this the right way. The _anime_ way. Yes, much like the Dragon Ball Z characters you so envy, you need an enemy. Like Goku fought Cell and Freeza, you must fight me. To the death, of course. From my castle (the address is at the bottom of this letter), I will be taking over the world. Unless you can stop me, which I doubt you can... I just need a laugh. -The Not-so-Silent SUPERYOUMAGENERAL "Its obvious what we have to do. We can have an A.E.I.O.U. Elite Strike Team mobilized within 48 hours, and then-" Cecil began, thrilled at the possibility to maybe see some mechs in action. "No," interrupted Josh, "That is not the Dragonball Z way. I have to go fight this insane monster... to save the world." "Are you crazy? You can't beat him on your own!" Cecil said incredulously. "That's what they all told Goku." Josh said, a determined look on his face. "But that's just a TV show! And not a very good one, at that." Cecil said, trying to make Josh see reason. It wasn't working. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that," Josh began, glaring at Cecil, "And you're going to drive me to this castle." "Oh no. There is _no_ way I'm driving to that insane monster's castle without backup. Its a suicide mission!" Cecil protested. But Josh had already started toward the models. Cecil froze, with the look of a deer caught in the headlights. "Cecil old friend, I didn't want to have to do this, but you've left me no choice," Josh said, pulling a rather old looking box from out of Cecil's model display case. "Not the limited edition Macross original model set! Josh, you don't know what you're doing!" Cecil said, his eyes almost as big as Katie's. Josh started to tighten his grip on the box, and the cardboard started to bend. "Alright! Okay! I'll drive you there. Just don't hurt my model." Cecil muttered dejectedly. Josh nodded solemnly, and placed the model back on its shelf. "Lets move out." Josh said, heading for the door. Cecil followed behind him, a worried expression on his face. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* Eugene was ranting again, and Katie was bored. She had been bored for quite a while now, and nothing seemed to get rid of the boredom. She tried to make up Sailor Moon fanfics in her head, but she kept ending up with Sailor Moon being kidnapped by the bad guy, just as she and Tuxedo Mask were confessing their love for one another. Katie had tried playing eye spy, but it just didn't work with only one person. She had even tried twiddling her thumbs, but it was hard with her chubby, hard-to-manoeuvre hands. Katie felt something nudge at her foot. Looking down, she discovered it was a small, green table lamp. With arms. Remembering her last encounter with the lamp minions, she pulled her leg back, intending to kick the lamp into orbit. However, something made her stop. The lamp was shaking for some reason. Quivering? She suddenly felt guilty. This was just a tiny, sentient lamp, and she had been about to kick it away. Cautiously, Katie leaned toward the lamp, stretching out her hand. The timid lamp cringed away at first, but then slowly reached one porcelain hand toward Katie. She took the hand in her own, and the lamp turned on its light bulb. With a happy glow, it bounced into Katie's lap, nuzzling its shade into her other arm. Katie patted it on the shade, and the lamp glowed back at her. She felt another push on her leg, and looked down, to see the base of a lamp. Looking up, her eyes scanned the tall, off-white floor lamp. Katie smiled at it, and the lamp's shade seemed to turn pink. It reached behind its "body", and pulled out a little yellow buttercup. The lamp held the plant out to Katie, and turned even pinker when she took it. "Shingo! I thought I told you to watch the East gate! What are you doing here?!" Eugene yelled angrily at the lamp. It cowered in fear, its shade turning from off-white to the kind of white you only see in the kitchens of neurotically clean people. "That's it, I've had enough of your insolence! I don't like to do this, but Shingo, I'm going to have to make you listen to the entire Pokemon movie soundtrack, 376 times! Yes, I'm talking about the soundtrack including such 'artists' as Baby Spice and Aaron Carter." Eugene threatened, grabbing the lamp in one muscular, clawed hand. He started to walk toward the war room exit, lamp in hand, when he was stopped by Katie saying: "Stop." Katie said, her voice cold (well, as cold as someone who talks a lot like Alvin, of the Chipmunks fame, can get). Eugene turned around to face his newly crowned Dark Queen. "Hmm?" he said, before being horror-stricken by the site before him. For Katie had gone into full-on chibi anger mode. She was glaring menacingly from above Eugene, her head and body growing to ten times their normal height, her eyes red and demonic, with flames licking around her. "Put. Down. The. Lamp." Katie said, the unearthly red glow of the flames around her reflecting on her cutely demonic face. It was Eugene's turn to eep, and eep he did. Not taking his eyes off of Katie for a moment, Eugene slowly put down the lamp, the backed away. When he felt he was close enough, he leaped for the door, not even bothering to open it before barrelling through. Katie stared at the Eugene-shaped hole in the door, then shrunk back down to her normal size. With a contented "Wai!" she settled into the couch, surrounded by four or five happily glowing lamps. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* The parking lot was empty, except for the Otaku Force van. "Look, are you sure you still want to go through with this?" Cecil asked Josh. He nodded solemnly. "I can't just stand idly by and let Eugene get away with being evil." Josh said, looking toward the slowly setting sun with an air of nobility. Cecil just rolled his eyes. He'd had quite enough of Josh's posing, "nobility", and the whole way he'd been acting since they read Eugene's email. Did he really think he was going to fight some powerful force of evil? From what Cecil had seen of Eugene, he just seemed like nothing more than a pest. Cecil put his feelings aside for the moment, deciding instead to worry about what was the best way to get to Eugene's castle. He unlocked the van's doors, and got into the driver's seat. Josh climbed in beside him. Cecil started the engine, and pulled out of the parking lot. He drove along the dirt road connecting the secret Otaku Force complex to the freeway, wondering whether or not he should really be showing Josh the way in. Of course, Josh had gotten in on his own, so its not like protecting the location was such a big deal any longer. The Otaku had been driving for a good half hour, when Cecil heard a rustling in the back of the van. He adjusted the rear-view mirror, and caught sight of something white. Turning to look in the back, he was shocked to see... "Brett? What are you doing here?" Cecil asked, confused, "Never mind. I don't think I really want to know." "I'm here hiding from Anna... I thought I was off the hook, but somehow she found out about me posting those pictures of Josh-chan to my website." Brett said quietly. He caught sight of Josh and raised one eyebrow. "Oh, do you have a Dragonball Z website too?" Josh asked eagerly. "...Something like that," Brett said, smiling. Cecil cleared his throat nervously. "So, anyway, Brett, you probably want to know where we're going." Cecil said, changing the subject to something safer. Brett shrugged, Cecil assumed that meant yes. "We're going to attack Eugene, apparently," said Cecil with mock excitement, remembering why he was in such a bad mood. "What Cecil means to say, is that I'm going to go fight the evil that is Eugene. Its the only way to save the world," Josh said, turning toward Brett. Brett nodded knowingly. "You know, I once saw this movie about this team of three girls who decided to save the world from a monster a lot like Eugene. Only it had tentacles. Anyway, when they reach the castle, the funniest thing happens. They accidentally-" "Hey, does anyone feel like listening to the radio? I know I do!" Cecil said loudly. He flicked on the radio and quickly flipped to the nearest station he could find. "But Cecil, I thought you didn't like hardcore rap," Brett said, playing with a length of rope he had just happened to find in the back. Cecil gritted his teeth. "I can make an exception just this once," he muttered, gripping the steering wheel much more tightly than required. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* There was a whole lot of plotting going on, and for once, Eugene wasn't involved... well, not directly, at least. Deedee idly popped another star candy into her mouth, while reading the latest issue of Smile. Every now and then, she peeked over the top of the magazine to look at Anna and Commander Fuzz, who were busy being deep in thought. Okay, Anna was deep in thought, Commander Fuzz was sharpening his claws and eating cat treats. The Otaku Force leader and talking cat had been planning what to do about the power-hungry Superyoumageneral for hours now. "Hmm, I wonder if Eugene likes to eat sugar cubes?" Anna thought out loud, making a note on the piece of paper before . Commander Fuzz shrugged and started grooming himself. "Wait, that wouldn't work... I mean, where are we going to find ten pounds of carbon-14 by the next full moon?" Anna muttered, "Fuzz, do you have any new ideas?" "Absobloodylutely not," Fuzz said, yawning, "Did we really have to work all night? Cripes, I could use a kip." Anna and Deedee stared at him blankly. "Oh my gosh, Katie!" Deedee exclaimed, throwing her magazine into the air, as well as breaking the uncomfortable silence. "What is it?" Anna asked, interested, "Do you know where she is?" "No, and that's just the problem!" Deedee said, not noticing her magazine was stuck in the ceiling fan. "Deedee, what are you talking about?" inquired Anna, starting to get wary. "Well, remember how the A.E.I.O.U. gave her that big nasty green shot when we first brought her in?" Deedee began. Anna nodded. "I was looking at my research, and I'm afraid the mind-restoring serum might be... wearing off." "You've _got_ to be kidding," Anna groaned, rubbing her temples, "As if we didn't have enough problems to deal with right now." "Oh yes, I remember him banging on about that Katie girl. Some rubbish about nabbing her and making her his Dark Queen or something. I didn't bother listening, really." Commander Fuzz said petulantly, using a wet paw to clean behind his ears. "Poor Katie! I hope he hasn't caught her." Deedee sympathized. Anna just smiled. "This is perfect! If Eugene has Katie in his clutches, all we have to do is find him, and we've got her too! Fuzz, can you direct us to Eugene's house?" Anna said, standing up. She was already forming a plan. "I doubt he's still there. Before I left, that anorak wouldn't stop talking about getting a hold of an evil castle. He nearly drove me balmy with all his bloody ranting!" Fuzz grumbled, not even looking up. "Alright, that's not a problem. Deedee, you head to Cecil's office, see if he can find out anything about this castle... See if he can drive us there in the van too, if its not too far away. Now Fuzz, I want you to tell me everything you know about Eugene, whether you think it could help us or not." Anna said, taking charge of the situation. Deedee nodded and practically sprinted out the door, happy to be doing something. "Where do I begin? Well, my master, pardon the expression, doesn't know his arse from his elbow. He never clams up, never listens to me... Cripes, all he ever talks about is taking over the world. Before he turned into a giant green monster, Eugene was always a bit unhinged. He would sit at his computer like a zombie, always having an argy-bargy with his parents about nowt, or he'd just be brooding. I joined the family when he was just a kid, a real ankle-biter. He always had this obsession with the New Kids on the Block when he was little. But then he found that Japanese animation, not really my cup of tea, but it sure beat those awful singers. Say, I fancy you people know a thing or two about that stuff, right?" Commander Fuzz explained. Anna was about to reply in the affirmative, when Deedee came bounding back into the room. "Okee, so I ran into Cecil's office, and he and Josh are gone! And I looked out the window and the van is gone too! So I found this mysterious email on the computer screen. Anna, I think you better take a look at it." she said, handing a printout to the leader of Otaku Force. It was still warm. Anna read the sheet quickly. "The van's gone, you say?" Anna asked, "I guess we'll need to take the bus." "We're really up the swanny now." grumbled Commander Fuzz petulantly. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* Frank carefully backed his Honda Civic into a small stand of trees. Once assured that the vehicle was hidden from view, he turned off the car, tucking the keys into the glove compartment. He turned to Rosa. "Ready?" Frank asked. As Rosa nodded her head, an ominous crash of thunder rang through the air. Frank handed Rosa a flashlight, taking one himself. The pair stepped out of the car. Before them was a castle like any from a fairy tail (or fantasy novel, for that matter). It sat atop a foreboding hill, the castle massive and made of worn grey stone. It had matching turrets, reaching toward the sky on either side, like a giant's arms. The castle's windows were little more than tall, thin slits, with no light emanating from them. Gargoyles perched high above the ground, staring blankly, with granite eyes. The only entrance to the imposing structure seemed to be two solid oak doors, accented with long, flat strips of metal. "Lets look for another way in, shall we?" Frank said, eyeing the doors warily. "Good thinking," Rosa replied, distracted. She was trying to contain her excitement at the fact that this was just like an episode of the X-files. Frank had either not noticed her giddiness, or was trying not to encourage her. At any rate, Rosa wasn't paying attention to the her surroundings. She searched mindlessly for another entrance, as visions of monsters, aliens and other unexplained phenomena danced in her head like so many sugarplums. In fact, Rosa didn't notice the door open beside her before she walked into it. If she had been an avid Maison Ikkoku fan, she would have noted the Godai-esque situation as such. But Rosa wasn't, so it was a moot point. "Owie..." she whimpered, clutching her forehead, "Great, now I know I'll get a bruise." "Rosa, are you alright?" Frank asked, running over to where Rosa was standing. He patted her on the back sympathetically. "Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine in a sec. I just bumped my head, that's all." Rosa looked up at Frank, and smiled gratefully. "But thanks for making sure." "No problem... Rosa, was this door open when you got here?" Frank said, looking around suspiciously. Rosa shook her head, and looked around as well. She noticed something, and pointed it out to Frank: Standing near a grove of trees was a cluster of lamps, smoking. "I think they're... on a smoke break," whispered Rosa incredulously. "Whatever they're doing, now's our chance," Frank whispered in response. He crept through the door, and motioned for Rosa to follow him. She did, taking one last look at the addict lamps and shaking her head. The passageway was pitch black, which made sense, since the lamps probably turned on their bulbs when they went through it. Frank and Rosa flicked on their flashlights when they realised that the dark would make it easy to see a lamp approaching from far away. The pair wandered along the halls for a while, Frank in the lead. He was getting a bit bored, and his thoughts returned to the event he had replayed in his mind for the past few days: Katie's kidnapping. Or rather, the events just before she had been taken. Frank wasn't sure how he felt about the almost-kiss... on one hand, he was happy. It had seemed so right. But Frank couldn't shake his feelings of guilt. Maybe it was the age difference... it was only a few years, but it seemed like more sometimes. Katie had been acting more and more immature lately, Frank mused, and he wasn't sure whether or not he liked it. He had loved Katie's vivacity, the way she could brighten up a room with her smile, the way her laugh sounded like- "Aaargh!" came a muffled voice. Frank frowned. No, Katie's laugh didn't sound like a scream. He suddenly realised he had actually _heard_ a scream, coming from behind him. "Rosa?" he asked nervously. No response came from behind him. Frank turned around slowly, running his flashlight beam along the walls and floor. There was nothing, save for a closed door on the left wall. "Rosa, where are you?" he called fairly quietly. Getting no response again, Frank decided to try the door. Finding it unlocked, he opened it and took a step inside. The room seemed to be some kind of library, with books lining the walls and a table and chairs in the centre. Frank searched the room with his eyes, but there didn't seem to be anywhere to hide, or other doors to leave through. "Damn!" Frank muttered, pounding his fist in annoyance on the nearest bookshelf. He was surprised to hear a creaking sound from the shelf, and even more surprised when it swung around, pulling him with it. As Frank was thrown into the passage behind the door, Rosa stumbled forward from the other side, into the library. "Hmm, and I was just about to stop pushing. Good thing I didn't!" she said, dusting herself off proudly, "Oh no! I hope Frank didn't get too far ahead while I was stuck in there!" Rosa tore out of the room and bounded down the hall. She didn't notice the muffled, steady sound of someone banging their head against a bookcase. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* "There it is." Josh said, pointing at the castle ahead of the van. Josh's expression of nervous anticipation was sharply contrasted by Cecil's appearance of mild resentment. Brett, leaning over the front seats, merely looked vaguely interested. Cecil pulled the van up to the stone posts which presumably marked the entrance to the castle. "Okay, so here's the plan. We go in, you distract Eugene while we get the tazers ready. When we're ready, I'll raise my arm like so, and that's your cue to jump to the side, while we hit him with so many volts of electricity, he'll light up like a Christmas tree. Understand?" Cecil explained, holding a tazer and looking from Brett, to Josh, and back again. Brett nodded, but Josh just stared at Cecil silently. "Josh? Do you understand?" Cecil repeated, starting to get irritated. He didn't have time to blink, as Josh used his lightning fast reflexes to grab the tazer from his hands. "Sorry guys, but I can't let you do that. This is my fight," said Josh. He tazered Brett and Cecil, then dropped the weapon as Cecil slumped over, with Brett falling on top of him. Hopped out of the van and dashed toward the castle single-mindedly. Josh was almost at the towering main doors, mere steps away. Then he was intercepted by a trap door, disappearing underground. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* Meanwhile, somewhere far, far away (Tahiti, to be exact)... "Darling, would you like another Mai-Tai? I'm headed for the bar." Eugene's father said, getting out of his sun chair. "No thanks, dear, but I would like a Pina Colada," replied Eugene's mother, indicating her empty glass. "You know, we really must remember to do something to thank Eugene. When we get home." *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* "Deedee, why didn't you tell me the bus stop was three miles from the castle?" Anna asked quietly, through clenched teeth. "But Anna, it was only a little space on the map! I didn't think it would matter," Deedee protested, "Besides, I _did_ find that shortcut for us." "And I'm still picking chicken feathers out of my hair! Honestly, Deedee, you really stink at doing this kind of thing," Anna grumbled. "I say, Anna, don't get your knickers in a knot. We're here, aren't we?" Commander Fuzz said from his perch atop Anna's shoulder. Anna was about to reply, when the trio came upon a castle. As if to make it more intimidating, a bolt of lightning flashed behind the castle, illuminating the castle itself, the small hill it stood on, and the sea green van parked in front. "That must be them!" Deedee said excitedly. She broke into a run, hoping to catch the boys before they went inside, if they hadn't already. "Let's go," Anna said, sighing, to Commander Fuzz. She began to walk briskly toward the castle. Commander Fuzz settled into Anna's shoulder, happy he didn't have to get his paws all muddy. Reaching the van, Deedee didn't see anyone inside. She tried the passenger side door, it was unlocked. Yanking it open, Deedee was hit by a falling body. She landed on the cold, damp ground, with a person's head in her lap. It was Brett, Deedee realised as he opened his eyes. "Deedee, are you trying to take advantage of me?" Brett asked, "I'd never have expected it from you." Deedee turned bright red and jumped to her feet, letting Brett's head fall to the ground with a wet thunk. It was then that Anna reached the van. Eyeing Brett and Deedee critically, she opened the driver's side door, to see Cecil sprawled across the front seat. Leaning over, Anna slapped him. Hard. Cecil woke up sputtering. He stared at Anna with a mix of anger and confusion. Anna smiled mischievously. "I had to wake you up somehow," she said, shrugging. She walked over to where Deedee and Brett were standing; Cecil got up woozily and joined them. "Now, we have to go re-capture Eugene and possibly Katie," Anna began. "Katie?" Cecil asked, confused. "I'll explain later. Anyway, we're going to need tazers, lots of them. At least eight. Cecil, can you go get them from the van?" Anna noticed Cecil had a nervous expression on his face, "Cecil, what is it?" "Um, we only brought two tazers... and I think that's them." Everyone looked in the direction that Cecil was pointing in, to see two small piles of metal debris. "How did that happen?" Deedee asked nervously, "Did someone... or something, do that?" "Well, uh, Josh kind of... knocked us out and left to go kill Eugene. He must have crushed the tazers before he went to the castle," said Cecil, sheepishly. "Oh, well that's just perfect, isn't it?... I suppose we'll have to change this to a reconnaissance mission," Anna said, grumbling. "You mean we have to go in that spooky castle in the dark with no tazers? No way! There could be youma or daemon, or ghosts!" Deedee cried, crossing her arms defiantly. Commander Fuzz shook his head as well. "Not on your Nellie! There's no way I'm setting paw in there," he agreed, flicking his tail in annoyance. "Come on, you fraidy cats!" Cecil said, adjusting his glasses. Deedee and Fuzz shook their heads. Anna, suddenly, had an idea. "Would you do it for a copy of the Sailor Moon SuperS uncut subtitled movie?" Anna said, smiling slyly at Deedee. She turned to Commander Fuzz, "And, uh... a can of tuna?" The pair's eyes lit up. They both nodded happily. With that settled, the foursome (and a cat) set foot toward the castle. "We should split up to cover more ground. Deedee, you go with Cecil and I'll go with... no, wait, I don't think I like that plan much. No, no, I'll go with Cecil and Deedee, you... that doesn't work either," Anna was perplexed, but in a burst of genius, it suddenly came to her, "Okay! I'll go with Cecil and Brett, Deedee, you and Commander Fuzz go together. That works, ne?" Deedee started to protest, then closed her mouth, realising it was no use arguing, once Anna made up her mind. She picked up Commander Fuzz, who quickly scrambled out of her arms and onto the comfortable seat on her shoulder. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* Frank felt like he had been wandering for hours. Checking his watch, he realised it had really only been about 15 minutes. Well, that was still 1/4 of an hour. He wished he would find a way out, or Katie, or be attacked by another lamp minion... _anything_ to end the boredom. His wish was promptly granted when a large, very muscled arm reached from behind him, grabbing Frank in a headlock. "Here's the deal. You lead me to Eugene and I won't hurt you. Okay?" A voice asked. Frank squirmed a little, but quickly discovered escape was not an option. "If I knew where he was I'd tell you, but I'm looking for him myself!" Frank answered, hoping he would be let go. He wasn't. "Are you _sure_ you're telling the truth?" said the owner of the arm, threateningly. He squeezed the headlock tighter. "I... swear!" Frank gasped. His captor obviously believed him, since he let him go quickly. Frank stumbled, leaning on the wall for support. "So, who are you, and what are you doing here?" asked the man. Frank looked up to see a spiky haired boy, with more muscles than the WWF. Frank gulped. "I'm Frank. I'm here to rescue my g- err, friend from Eugene. Why are you here? Um, if you don't mind me asking, that is." "Where evil lurks, threatening to destroy the world in one fell swoop, I'm there to stop it in its tracks. It is my duty to protect the earth from the evil that is Eugene. Oh, and my name's Josh," said Josh nobly. Frank looked at him strangely, then shrugged. "Hi Josh," Frank began, using Josh's name in a sentence in order to remember it better for the future (a skill that came in handy for his career as a reporter), "do you want to go find Eugene with me?" "That sounds nice. It can get pretty boring in here," Josh said, nodding, "Besides, I don't have a flashlight." The pair set off down the hallway. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* It took Brett quite some time to discover he had been separated from Cecil and Anna. When he finally did, he took it in stride (literally, he didn't even stop walking). Brett studied the darkness around him, wishing he had a flashlight. He didn't even know if the wall he was feeling along was brown, grey, or perhaps neon green flecked with gold. Brett paused when he heard a scream from up ahead. He ran toward it, hoping he had found Katie or Eugene. He heard another scream, this time coming from his left. It sounded somewhat muffled, so Brett felt along the wall for a door. Finding one, he grabbed the knob and pulled it open quietly. The dim light of a novelty wall sconce illuminated the situation unfolding before Brett. In the corner, a large, forest green and turquoise vase was standing over someone menacingly, with a knife in hand. Brett moved his head curiously to see around the vase, and saw that its victim was none other than Deedee. Not even pausing to consider what he was about to do, Brett leapt into action. Grabbing a decorative katana which hung on the wall beside him, he drew the sword and made a running leap that would put any duellist to shame. He pulled his sword back and up, then sliced downward and to the left, cutting a diagonal path through the vase. He landed in a crouch, then stood up, dusting himself off. The vase was neatly sliced in two pieces. Deedee watched in shock as the top half slid off the bottom, then fell to the ground, smashing into millions of porcelain shards. Standing behind the base of the vase was Brett, sword drawn. He stepped around the vase, and, when he reached Deedee, he extended a hand to her. She took it, standing up slowly. "Brett... thank you," Deedee said quietly, lifting her head to look into Brett's eyes. An expression of kindness flashed across his face, and he smiled briefly. But the look was quickly replaced my a mask of coolness. Brett turned his head away, sheathing his weapon. He moved to look at Deedee again, with a small smile on his face. "Well, I'm very good with my sword," said Brett, with a wink. Deedee frowned at him, then left the room without a word, Commander Fuzz in tow. Brett shrugged, and followed her. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* The door was only open a crack, but the light streaming out of it let Rosa see the hallway around her. As she approached the door, her back to the wall, she began to hear voices from inside. "...no Caramilk bars in the castle, but I did manage to find a couple of Coffee Crisp bars. _Now_ will you be my Dark Queen Katarina?" Rosa heard one voice say. Peering in the door, she could see Eugene was talking to Katie, who was sitting on a big, black leather couch, with a ball and chain on one foot. "Stop calling me that! And if you can't find any Caramilk bars in the castle, just go to the store, already." "But I just can't leave the castle now. I'm busy! Now, I _could_ send out some of my lamp minions to get your chocolate..." "No! I don't want you bossing around these poor lamps anymore! They have feelings too, you know." "But I _created_ those lamps, and they-" "_You_ may go." Katie said, turning away from Eugene, and crossing her arms cutely. Eugene started toward a nearby door. "Leave the chocolate." Katie finished, not even turning around. Eugene gave a defeated sigh and dropped the bars on the couch beside Katie. The moment he was out the door, Katie dove for the chocolate. "Wai! Chocolate!" she exclaimed, her eyes turning to little stars. Rosa waited a moment, to make sure Eugene wasn't coming back. She took off her shoes and crept silently into the room, confident that he was gone for a while. Putting a finger to her lips was Katie's signal to be very very quiet. "Rosa!!" Katie cried happily. She tried to run toward her friend, but was stopped by the chain attached to her leg. Katie did an involuntary face fault, and got a white bandage for her trouble. "Shhhh!" Rosa shushed, giving Katie a stern look. "Gomen." Katie said, eyes quivering. "I didn't mess everything up, did I?" "No, of course you didn't. We just need to be quiet." Rosa whispered, smiling reassuringly. Katie nodded and smiled hugely. As Katie was distracted by some shiny things, Rosa rolled her eyes in exasperation. Katie was starting to get _really_ annoying. She had seemed so normal at first... what had changed? Rosa pushed aside her irritation, instead concentrating on the task at hand: she had to get Katie free somehow. She began to tug on the chain, searching for a weak link. "Ano... Rosa, if you want to help me out of this ball and chain, the key's right over there..." Katie said, pointing to the far wall, where a hook held a set of keys. Rosa and Katie both sweatdropped, and Rosa started toward the keys. She froze when the door behind Katie creaked open. "Hello, what's this?" Eugene said, confused at seeing a short girl (though not as short as Katie) dressed completely in black. Rosa looked shocked for a moment, then quickly slipped into a fairly amateur fighting stance. "I can take you down with one blow, so don't try anything, slime face!" she said, glaring at Eugene. Who took one look at her and began to laugh hysterically. "You... take on... me?" he said, wiping a tear from his eye, "That's priceless. You're, what, five foot two? I could take you one with- oof!" Of course, Eugene hadn't meant to say oof. He had meant to continue taunting Rosa, but was interrupted by a kick to the midsection. Rosa fell back into her fighting stance, and Eugene stopped laughing. Rosa looked around frantically for something pink. Unfortunately, the entire room seemed to be decorated in grey, silver and black, with a little green here and there. She gasped, realising that Eugene had recovered from her kick very very quickly, and was proceeding to walk toward her menacingly. Suddenly, she spotted it. Cowering in the corner was a Victorian style table lamp, coloured black, green and pink. Rosa ran at Eugene, pulling her fist back as though to punch him in the torso (it wasn't like she could reach any higher). Eugene smugly held one green, clawed hand forward to stop the blow, but Rosa had other plans. The teen-turned-mecha shifted at the last minute, sliding under Eugene, and ending up directly in front of the precious lamp. Grabbing the lamp triumphantly, Rosa went through a complicated and maho shoujo-like transformation sequence, which shall not be described here. Suffice it to say, she ended up as a pink mech blowing a kiss, with a giant, smiling heart behind her (this transformation had, no doubt, something to do with the fact that Deedee worked on the experiments which gave Rosa her powers). Not wasting a minute, Rosa jumped toward Eugene, mirroring her earlier flying punch. Only this time, she had something else planned. "Super PUNCH!" yelled Rosa, her hand turning into a big, pink boxing glove. This time, when the blow connected, Eugene was more than just surprised. He stumbled back, clutching his hand, which he had been using to block the punch. "Owww... Hey! Wait a minute, I remember you! You're the one that ambushed me on the bus!" Eugene cried, pointing accusingly at Rosa. "That's right, and this time I won't let you get away!" she said cockily, "Now for my final attack! MISSLE SHOWER!" Two racks of pink missiles (with, of course, adorable little smiley faces on them) popped out of her shoulders and went shooting into the air. Eugene just grinned, showing his rows of shiny, sharp teeth. Rosa stared in shock as Eugene snapped his fingers and each of the missiles dropped slowly and harmlessly to the floor. "I had thought the first people I'd destroy were Josh and the members of Otaku Force... but my revenge on them will just have to come second." Eugene said, starting toward Rosa. Who hadn't been listening to a word he just said. Instead she was standing completely still, shaking. "I promised myself I'd get revenge on Otaku Force and the A.E.I.O.U. if it was the last thing I did... and I won't let you STOP ME!" Throughout the speech, Rosa had been slowly starting to glow pink. She looked up at Eugene, the pink glow almost blinding now, and both combatants leapt toward each other. Then they processed what they had each just heard. "Huh?" said the pair in unison. Both stopped in mid-lunge. "Wait wait wait. Did I just hear you say you wanted revenge on Otaku Force too?" Eugene said, looking confused. "I... did. And, what did you just say?" Rosa replied, an uncertain tone in her voice. "The same thing." Eugene said, slowly beginning to smile. Katie's facefault echoed around the world. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* Anna and Cecil strolled through the passageway, each keeping a hand on the right wall and walking in single file. "I hope Brett's alright," Cecil said quietly, breaking the silence. Anna nodded, but, realising Cecil couldn't see her, said a quiet "Yeah." The pair continued without speaking for a few moments, until Cecil spoke again. "Maybe he ran into Deedee," he commented thoughtfully. "I hope not," Anna said, remembering the earlier encounter at the van, "Deedee really hates him, doesn't she?" "Brett's not too fond of Deedee, either," Cecil murmured, "Wouldn't it be funny if they fell in love? Kind of like... Hilde and Duo. Or Asuka and Shinji." Anna gave a derisive snort. "I doubt it. First of all, those aren't even real couples: Duo belongs with Heero, and Shinji belongs with Kaoru... duh. Third, Deedee and Brett? That's crazy! That's like... Utena and Saiyonji!" Anna smirked at the thought of Deedee and Brett, going to the movies... having dinner together... she finally burst into laughter imagining their wedding. "Its not that impossible. Remember how they used to get along at first?" Cecil asked, "The two of them were such good friends, before..." He trailed off. The silence of before returned, now uncomfortable, as both otaku were left with their thoughts. Suddenly, Anna noticed a faint glow up ahead, slowly growing brighter. She searched frantically around the hallway, looking for an escape, or at least somewhere to hide until the lamp minions passed. The dim light illuminated a nearby door, and Anna ran toward it, careful not to make a noise. Cecil followed suit, and the pair jumped through the door, closing it gently in the nick of time. They watched the light get brighter and brighter, until it started to fade, along with the gentle clacking noise of lamps moving through the corridor. Finally, the light was completely out, and Anna breathed a sigh of relief. She grabbed the door handle, twisting it... but it wouldn't turn. She jiggled the knob, but it was no use. The door was locked. "I think we have a problem," she whispered. "Anna?" a female voice asked. A high-pitched female voice. "Deedee?" Anna said, recognizing the voice. "This certainly is... interesting," Brett said quietly, in a tone that implied he meant much more than "interesting." "Wait a minute, are we all in here?" Cecil asked incredulously. "I'd wager so." Commander Fuzz, less than thrilled, added. "When did you three get here?" Anna inquired. "We ducked in here to avoid some lamps, and when we tried to leave, the door was locked. You probably saw the same lamps we did: they've been pacing up and down this hall regularly since we got here." Deedee explained. "My, its awfully cramped in this closet," Brett commented, "Now, if we only had some sunflower oil and a children's wading pool, it would be fairly simple to-" "Enough of that, Brett. We have to find a way out of here, and even if we did have time to listen to your hentai fantasies, we wouldn't, okay?" Anna said, stopping Brett's description short, "Now I want everyone to feel around for a key, a secret passage, anything that might help us... On second thought, I want everyone except Brett to feel around for an escape. Brett, you can sit there and... well, not talk... just think unsexy thoughts, okay?" Brett muttered something that sounded like a yes, and the group got to work looking for an escape route. "Oh, I found the light switch!" Deedee said happily. She proceeded to flick it, but no light came on. However, a clicking sound came from the wall, and suddenly the floor opened up beneath them. The Otaku Force Officers fell through the trap door into a well-lit room below. Brett landed gracefully on his feet, as did Anna, although she stumbled a little. Cecil fell between the two, rolling as he landed, to soften the blow. Deedee barrelled head first into Brett. The pair collapsed in a rather comedic heap. Commander Fuzz, of course, landed on his feet. On Deedee and Brett, as well. "Get off me!" Deedee cried, thrashing around. Brett disentangled himself and stood up, obviously too shaken to cop a feel while to copping was good. Deedee brushed herself off and got to her feet. It was then that the group noticed they weren't alone. "Hiya Deedee! What are you guys doing here?" Katie said, glomping on to the one person within arms reach. Deedee looked down at Katie, then at Anna and nodded nervously. She bent over to look Katie in the face. "Katie, we need to get you back to the lab again. There's some procedures that need to be done, in order for you to regain your normal capacity." Deedee explained. At the mention of a lab, Katie unglomped herself at lightning speed. "Nonononononono! Pleeeeeease don't make me go back for more tests, they were mean mean mean! I don't wanna and you can't make me, so biiiiida!" Katie said, doing the stick-out-tongue-pull-down-bottom-eyelid face. Deedee groaned in exasperation. This was going to be harder than she thought. "Otaku Force. So nice of you to... drop in," Rosa said menacingly. The group turned around, to face the door where Rosa had just entered, with Eugene behind her. Brett drew his sword menacingly, as Anna fell into a fighting stance (like all good little otaku, Anna knows her martial arts). "Oh, now _this_ is going to be fun. Don't you think, Rosa?" Eugene said with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. "I've waited for this moment for a long, long time," Rosa agreed, cracking her knuckles. *%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%* Author's Notes: Sorry this took me so long... school is very stressful right now! And I'm a pretty slow writer, as well. I hope this part actually gets posted, my power went out the night of the deadline, so I was marked down as a skip. Because of that, I didn't have a chance to get any prereaders, although I did do a spellcheck, so sorry if the writing sucks. And I hope no-one's too out of character. If there are any _major_ problems, I can do a re-write. I hope you all liked the part! You *know* you wanna post a review.