"Okay, boys. We've been working on this number for three hours now. Let's take it from the top, all right?" Sam Perlus rubbed his temples and then loosened his tie, slumping back down into his comfy aeron chair. Honestly, these guys had so much untapped potential..."Cue the music." o/~ *BLINK!* o/~ *BLINKBLINK!* o/~ *BLINK! BLINK!* "Yeah, Mike? It's Sam..." he spoke into his cellphone, struggling to be heard over the mass of musical clicks. "Yeah. I think we'll skip the album and go straight to video." "Why?" "Well...let's just say they kind of need the visual aspect." He glanced to the headphone-wearing lamps and facepalmed. "Make that definitely need it." O_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o O_O Project Chibification Snagged from the maelstrom of creation by Lady Brick This part formatted poorly by James Bard Chapter 21: SHINY!!! O_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o O_O "So...what now?" Josh-chan said, after she, Eugene, and Rosa had stood in place for a few minutes. They took turns looking back and forth, and all three gave a shrug. "ATTENTION, JOSH, ROSA, AND EUGENE! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED ABOUT COMING OUT QUIETLY! NOW COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO DO SOMETHING VERY MEAN TO ALL THREE OF YOU!" Said three otaku all grinned and turned towards the smashed window, watching the hovering helicopter. They looked back and forth again and then burst out the window (incidentally, Rosa left a hole in the wall due to lack of window width). "HEY! STOP THAT! GET AWAY FROM THE HELI--" the megaphone user abruptly cut off, namely because a tidal wave of ki, three pink rockets, and a green, scaly fist all slammed into his helicopter at once. The remaining heli-dwellers watched for a moment as several uniformed task force members made craters in the beautiful grass of Eugene's backyard. "They had our only megaphone," the pilot said nervously. "WHAT? How're we supposed to properly negotiate without it?" cried the Random Otaku With No Real Purpose. "Why didn't they put one in each 'copter?" "...they said something about the Cowboy Bebop DVD set," mumbled the co-pilot. There was a moment of silence before all three shrugged; who could deny the HEAD COUNCIL such a reasonable purchase? .................................. "Now the _air conditioning_ doesn't work?!" "I couldn't afford the bill because SOMEONE spent too much at Suncoast..." All in the COMMAND ROOM OF DEATH glared at one specific HEAD COUNCIL member, who was swooning at the TV. "Vicious-samaaaaa..." she cooed. .................................. Rosa grinned ferally towards the second helicopter, boosters flaring to life on her back. Granted, sparklies came out with every jet burst, but that wasn't something she was going to worry about. She flitted like a metallic and pink bee towards the vehicle, luxuriating in the terror-stricken expressions on the pilot and co-pilot's faces. This was what she lived for. Vengeance against the organization that had turned her into this monster, that had forced her to become one of those GAP people, that had--- ---jammed a gigantic tazer out the side of the heli and caught her smack in the chest with the electric bit. She had a moment to curse to herself before she fell towards the earth and thumped beside one of the AEIOU task force members, electricity spewing off of her in random, jagged bolts. Groaning, she rolled onto her back and de-transformed, eyes drifting closed. "Rosa!" both SUPERYOUMAGENERAL and DBZ/Ranma shouted at once, before giving deathglares towards the 'copter. "We're dead, aren't we?" said the panic-stricken boy holding the tazer. "Hai, sou desu," the pilot said sagely, moments before he turned the helicopter around and jammed the sticks forward. The ground blurred underneath them as they made their escape, and Josh and Eugene were left blinking in the background. Or at least, that's what WOULD have happened, had the ultra-cheap components the HEAD COUNCIL bought chosen that moment to prove just how lousy they were. The helicopter turned ponderously slowly, a pathetic tiny puff of smoke spewing from the back rotors, and began to lower towards the earth. As its rails touched the already-battered grass of the back yard, so did two pairs of feet (one of which was green and scaly). Stumbling out of the helicopter, the three A.E.I.O.U. soldiers (if they could be called that) readied their tazers, watching the two approaching otaku fearfully. Eugene raised a claw, Josh a fist, the trio tazers. And it would have made quite a battle sequence, had Eugene's mother not chosen that moment to storm outside, husband in tow. ............................................................................ 'What was that for, you little hell-cat?' 'You were eavesdroppin' on me!' 'Hey, I can't help overhearin' when ya start moanin' like a moose in labor, darlin'!' Every otaku present cringed at the screech Kei's voice as she and Carson argued, and only Anna managed to find the strength to glance towards the box atop a stack of unplayed videos beside the bigscreen TV. "Streamline...presents...Dirty Pair...Project...Eden..." she rasped, before a watchful attendant came in and forced her to look at the television once more. ............................................................................ Jennifer flipped boredly through her yaoi doujinshi, regretting she'd only had enough cash to buy thirty books from that vendor at ACen. If only she hadn't wandered into the arcade room and seen that DDR machine first... "I hate this job," she muttered to her Pen-Pen plushie, seated next to her computer at the front desk. Honestly, just because she hadn't cosplayed as one of the Shinesman members at A-Kon, the HEAD COUNCIL had decreed she had to start again from the bottom of the employment ladder. She sighed, tossing the doujin under her desk as she saw a person enter the building out of the corner of her eye. "Konbon wa," she said with fake cheer, standing up and nodding to the visitor. "May I help you?" "Um, yes, I was, uh, wondering..." the guy stuttered, blushing feircely as he looked her up and down. She scowled, cursing the Lum bikini they'd made her wear. Why did the cosplay requirement always seem to burn her when she had visitors? "...I'm kind of new to anime, and I heard you guys were really into it. So, I was hoping you could...uh...tell me stuff?" "What kind of stuff?" she said boredly. She heard a rustling behind her but paid no attention, blaming it on the personal fan she'd left running on the edge of her desk. "Well...uh..." the visitor scratched the back of his head nervously. "...don't you think Darien and Serena are wicked cool?" She stared at him, shook her head, and pulled open a drawer full of loaner videos. Producing a copy of Kiki's Delivery Service, she slid it forward across the desk and spoke. "This should fit well, since you're a beginner. Stop watching dubbed Sailor Moon NOW." The visitor seemed to lose focus for a moment, almost staring off at something behind her, and she started to turn; was one of the taskforce members ogling again? She'd malleted three already... "Wait!" cried the visitor, grabbing her shoulder and forcing her to face him again. She caught the glint of...batteries(?) on his waist as she looked at him again, and narrowed her eyes. He spoke hurriedly, letting her go. "Uh...um..." "WHAT?" she demanded. "I already gave you a video. Bring it back after you've watched it." Cecil (well, duh) searched for an explanation, as Commander Fuzz was trying desperately to yank the receptionist's key ring out of a Kuroneko plushie's mouth with little success. "I...um...was wondering, is all anime as awesome as that..." he said the first thing that came to mind. "...Gundam Wing show?" Jennifer's eyes widened, and she clasped the boy's hands with her own. "There IS hope for you!" she cried. "You like Gundam Wing?" "Oh, I'm a huge fan," Cecil said eagerly, warming to the subject. "Not only are the battle scenes intense and well-done, but the message behind the whole thing is eloquently stated and beautiful. Granted, it may not have the same allure as some of the previous Gundam shows, but as one of the few shipped onto mainstream U.S. television, it's very well-done." "Yeah," Jennifer said dreamily. "Plus, with all the shounen-ai elements so blatantly obvious in the show..." "Huh?" Cecil began to edge backward. This girl reminded him entirely too much of Anna on full drool mode. "Well, think about it. Duo and Heero are OBVIOUSLY in love with each other; why else wouldn't Duo shoot Heero the first time they met? And Wu Fei and Treize are another noticeable couple. Both hardened warriors with inner emotional sides they wish to avoid, both who obsess with their image---" Cecil would have replied, but he felt a set of sharp fangs chomp on his leg. He glanced down at Fuzz, who had the keys around his neck. "Come on, ya dumb git," he whispered, before trotting away. "...uhh, anyway, thanks, I must be going if I don't want to miss DBZ," he said nervously, grabbing the video and turning away. "Thanks for the help." Jennifer watched him go, then sighed dreamily, her head filled with yaoi visions. Glancing towards her computer, she started up Internet Explorer, resolving to find some nice Sephiroth/Vince fics to satisfy her appetite. ............................................................................ "WHAT HAVE YOU PEOPLE DONE TO MY LAWN?!" screamed Eugene's mother. "EUGENE, GO TO YOUR ROOM!" "Mom, I'm kind of fighting a group of evil henchmen at the moment," Eugene said, pointing towards the A.E.I.O.U. trio. "Can't it wait?" "You three," barked Dad, waving his newspaper threateningly, "off my property!" the pilot, co-pilot, and Random Otaku With No Real Purpose blinked at one another, shrugged, and ran like hell. "You have not seen the last of the A.E.I.O.U.! WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!" shouted the pilot. "That was really lame," chided the co-pilot. "Josie, Eugene, I am QUITE disappointed in both of you!" said Eugene's mom, waving a finger. "Both of you, inside, this instant!" Josh and Eugene glanced at each other, and their shoulders slumped. Eugene bent and hefted Rosa over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and the group marched into the house, leaving the remaining A.E.I.O.U. members groaning on the lawn. ............................................................................ A guard blinked as the door behind him crept open. "'Ey, you!" he stared at the open doorway for a moment, trying to spot the speaker. "What?" "Down 'ere!" he glanced down to see a cute talking cat sitting at his feet and resolved he'd gone temporarily insane. "What in the hell---" the nameless and depthless guard was silenced as his own tazer came down on the back of his head. Cecil twirled it skill- fully and stripped the unconscious boy down, slipping on the uniform over his repairman garb. "Very bloody subtle," groused Fuzz as Cecil placed the cat on his left shoulder, "aren't you goin' ta even hide the body?" "Shut up!" Cecil whispered, starting down the hallway. "Look, we don't have time to do anything about him, and besides, no one ever checks these--" he cut off as he ran into a forest of tazers. "--Aw, kusotarre." ............................................................................. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT TIME IN PROJECT CHIBIFICATION #22? WILL ANY PLOT DEVELOPMENT TAKE PLACE? WILL THE TITLE HAVE ANY RELEVANCE TO THE STORY? WILL CECIL DEFEAT THE MASS OF GUARDS? Who knows? It's up to the next author. O_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o O_O Well, for the first time since I started writing here, I feel like I've been caught with my trousers down. I don't feel too great about submitting this chapter, but I don't have much of a choice; I'm not gonna queue-skip again, so I might as well give you loyal readers something to enjoy. Once again, I apologize for not having any prereaders; I had, as usual, no time. Hopefully if I write PC again I won't procrastinate as much. Thanks go to Monica, whom none of you know, for inspiring the dual roles of the random HEAD COUNCIL member and Jennifer; LB, for creating a lovely impro; all the other authors; and Spiritual Tazer, whose techno/trance beats kept me going during the final hours. Ja! -Bard