Lack of Common Sensei Chapter 25: Cold Shot! The Troublesome Potion of Love Written by Nathan Housley Lack of Common Sensei created by Winston Smith Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi <> denotes English speech. In the beginning was the dream. And the dream was formless and void, until color and water cascaded into a montage of anime characters partying in the Grand Canyon. And it was good. Then a bass rumble interrupted the noisy but peaceful din. Starting out as an incomprehensible sound, it crescendoed in volume and clarity. The rumble was actually a voice, familiar and annoying. And lo, the annoying voice did say, "Kira, wake up." Kira groaned as she woke up. She looked at Shiro, blinking rapidly before setting her head on her pillow. "Kira, you've got your tutoring sessions today," Shiro said. He shook his cousin's shoulders. she yawned as she swatted Shiro's hands away. She rolled over, intent on sleeping. Shiro sighed then shook his head. Kira basked in the warm inviting silence until she heard footsteps as Shiro left the room. Soon afterwards, the sounds of churning and clanking impeded Kira's attempts at blissful unconsciousness. The noise stopped, and she eased into sleep, unprepared for the ice cubes soon to slide down her shoulders. she shrieked as she bolted upright in her bed. Shiro tossed her a towel. "You've got an hour before we leave. And, Kira, Japanese please." Kira tore the covers off of her and stormed out of the living room, muttering incoherent plans of revenge along the way to the bathroom. Much to Shiro's surprise, Kira's diatribe was in Japanese. Her Japanese was improving, although Shiro speculated where Kira had learned the various synonyms for the word "torture." Ten minutes later, Kira emerged, towel-drying her hair, from the bathroom ready to face the day. She walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table, scowling at the lack of breakfast upon her plate. At least Shiro was in the process of finding breakfast. Since she had nothing else to do, Kira thumbed through the various stacks of mail and papers that spread by fission throughout the apartment. She pulled a thick book from the bottom of a stack of bills. "Hey, Shiro? What's this?" Kira called out. Shiro rummaged inside the refrigerator, pulling various foods out of their hidden recesses. "Say it in English and I'll tell you the Japanese word for it." "I don't mean that, idiot. Something came in the mail yesterday." Kira examined the cover. A pleasant photomontage stared back at her, complete with a "Sabishii University" label. "What is it?" A small pile of ingredients grew on the counter next to the refrigerator, some of which Kira would have struggled to identify due to variety and mold. "When you catalog send?" Kira stopped, then took a deep breath. She hated the inevitable problems resulting from learning a new language. She spoke again. "I just wanted to check out their graduate program." Shiro migrated from the refrigerator to the pantry. "I'm going to need at least a master's degree to teach in America." Kira crossed her arms and glared at her cousin, who had his back turned. All her plans would come to nothing. There were still stores to pillage, savings to deplete, and anime to watch. She had also finally found someone that would be good for Shiro, if Kira could ever get him to see Sakura as something more than a co-worker. Shiro frowned. He knew for certain that there was half a loaf of bread somewhere in his apartment. "Not right away. Maybe not ever, but I know I can get a good job there. Besides, if I want a job here, I'll need the degree." She leafed through the catalog, stopping occasionally when a picture or an article caught her interest. "For how long? Furinkan hired me because no one was else willing to work here. Principal Kuno's not going to be here forever. What happens when he retires?" he asked. "That's where that went," he said softly as he pulled the bread out from behind the solid wall of snack foods Kira hoarded in the pantry. Kira said as she read an article on Sabishii University's Study Abroad program. "Perhaps. But someone with a better education could replace me. And if that doesn't happen, I won't be able to transfer to another school." Shiro smiled. "Besides, a graduate degree means better pay and something better to eat than Kira's Mystery Meals." Shiro hid behind the pantry door as Kira threw a crumpled napkin. "I don't know. I guess I could take night classes, or skip a semester and teach before becoming a student again." He peered out from behind the door, only deeming it safe when Kira resumed her reading. Kira set aside the catalog and opened the first letter in the most recent stack of mail next to her. She might have a future as a police interrogator, Shiro thought. "Soon. Before I graduate university in a few weeks. So, what'll it be for breakfast? French toast or miso soup?" Kira said, eyeing the produce pile with distaste. It was Kira's turn to duck. ************* "Hi, Shiro!" Mariko said as both teachers walked into the school's main office. "Good morning, Mariko," Shiro replied. "How are you doing today?" "Could be better." Mariko winced as she walked to her mailbox. Her fall during the so-called date days earlier had bruised her lower back. "Have you seen Mr. Yamada lately?" Shiro thought for a moment. "No. Come to think of it, I overheard some of the other teachers say something about that." He reached into his mailbox. "What's this?" Shiro wondered. He pulled a handwritten letter from his mailbox. "What's what?" Mariko asked. She leafed through the pile of papers in her hand. "I got one too." Shiro opened the letter and read aloud. "'Dear Mr. Smith As of last week, Mr. Yamada has been transferred to Yotsubadai High School. Since he mentored both you and Ms. Kawai, I will choose a new mentor for you soon. I will also need you to take over some of Mr. Yamada's classes. Please teach his upper level English classes today. I will send a copy of your new schedule to you tomorrow. Principal Kuno' "I'm surprised. That was too coherent. Principal Kuno's secretary must have translated his orders when he wasn't looking. Oh well, at least Yamada's gone. I think he'll be happier this way. I know I'm glad he's not breathing down my neck." Shiro sighed in relief. Mr. Yamada had a chip on his shoulder during his dealings with Shiro. Shiro had chalked it up to the cynical realist having to deal with idealism. "So what do you think, Mariko?" Mariko stared at her letter. "I didn't get a chance to say good-bye. He inspired me to be a teacher, Shiro." A tear rolled down her cheek. "Mariko, I hate to say it, but he avoided you like the plague." Shiro whispered, hoping not to hurt Mariko's feelings. "He wasn't always like that. I wish I had a chance to see him before he left," Mariko said. More tears fell. Shiro thought for a moment. "You know, I think his new school's not that far by train. You could visit him sometime." Mariko beamed. "Thank you, Shiro, for the idea. I'm going to do that right now." She gave him a quick hug before running out the door. "Wait, Mariko! I didn't mean right now!" he shouted. He shook his head, then looked at his watch. Kira would be out of her English tutoring sessions by now. Might as well see how she was doing. ************ "Hi, Sakura," Kira said as she entered the chemistry lab. It had been a long period full of mispronounced words. Kira had, at Shiro's request, begun tutoring various Furinkan students in English, and both tutor and student stumbled over the other's native language. She needed to talk to Sakura, just to air her frustrations before they consumed her. A bespectacled Sakura hovered over an ice bath. The science teacher scribbled in a lab. In one fluid motion, without looking up from her notebook, she tossed a pair of goggles at Kira. "Here. Put these on." "What's going on?" she asked, placing the goggles over her eyes. She winced as the goggles were too tight. "I'm running an experiment." "Okay." Kira shrugged. If Sakura wanted to play Little Miss Obvious, fine by her. "Isn't this your off-period? Shouldn't we be using this time to get together you and Shiro? 'All play and no work.'" Kira scowled. "What a minute, that sounded incorrect." She walked over to the table where Sakura worked. Sakura sighed, and held out for Kira's examination an unmarked beaker filled with a mixture of ice cubes and diluted green syrup. "One of the students bought a love charm and dropped it into her experiment today. You wouldn't believe how common that is here. I've got a refrigerator full of accidental magic potions from one student alone." She held the beaker gingerly, keeping it away from herself. "So, what's the big deal?" Kira reached for the glass on a whim. Sakura moved the beaker out of Kira's grasp. "I have to dispose of it properly, which means I have to run a full battery of tests on this slush. Magic and chemistry interact in random ways. This mixture could theoretically do anything from blowing up the school to having the same effects as a love potion." "Right," Kira drawled. "So, transmute yet any elements, or is that the class's final?" Sakura held the beaker up to the light. She squinted to discern any pattern to the glimmering sparkles in the solution. "You don't believe me." Kira pointed out the window. "I'd believe you if that duck on the windowsill turned out to a man." Sakura looked outside. "You mean the one wearing glasses?" Kira nodded. Sakura smiled wryly. "You'll learn." "Yeah, sure, whatever," Kira laughed. "Miss Takahashi, please report to the infirmary," the intercom interrupted. "What do they want now?" Sakura sighed. "Could you hold this. I'll be back in a few minutes." She forced the beaker into Kira's hands. "What am I supposed to do with this?" Kira said, holding the chilled beaker. She followed Sakura out the door only to see her friend vanish around a corner. After a moment of indecision, Kira tossed her goggles into the lab room. She would rather wait for Shiro and Sakura in her makeshift office. ************ "What's the matter?" Sakura asked as she walked into the infirmary. To her surprise, the often-crowded infirmary was empty except for the chronically fatigued Nurse Karou. "So, how did it go?" Nurse Karou said, pulling Sakura into the nurse's office. "How'd what go?" Sakura said. She pulled away, staring in confusion at Nurse Karou. "The date." The two words filled Sakura with dread. A grilling was coming, and she was in the hot seat. "You called me in here by intercom to ask me about a date?" Sakura added a hint of incredulity to her voice. Karou was a coworker, not a close friend, and Sakura's private life was none of her business. Karou nodded. "Right. That 1000 yen in Nabiki's betting pool," Sakura groaned. "Five thousand now. So, how was the date?" Karou said, pressing the issue. "What date?" Sakura shrugged. "Don't play innocent with me," Nurse Karou warned. "Honest. It wasn't a date. It was a teacher's conference," Sakura said, disappointed. "Right," Karou said slyly. "That outfit you wore on Saturday says otherwise." "It was nothing, I tell you," Sakura protested, resigning herself to a merciless interrogation. She shrank at the constant bombardment of questions. The door looked more and more inviting as time passed. ************ Kira sat at her desk in the former counselor's office. At Shiro's request, the room had been converted into a spartan tutoring center, decorated with two American movie posters Kira overpaid for and a poster-sized novelty copy of Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew" script. "I guess I'm not supposed to be a teacher," she said, laying her head down on the desk. She swirled the beaker she took from Sakura's lab, watching the sparkles of light reflecting off something in the solution. Unopened Japanese to English dictionaries and a lukewarm cup of coffee sat next to the beaker. "How did it go, Kira?" Shiro said as he walked in. Kira mimed a crashing airplane, complete with sound effects. "I see," he winced. "Well, why don't you tell me about it and I can give you some pointers," he offered, sitting down in the empty chair. Kira shook her head. "Nope, I'm not doing this anymore. Teaching is not for me." "Well," Shiro said, composing his thoughts. "But you did learn some Japanese in the process?" "Nothing suitable for polite conversation." "Maybe you're being too formal in your approach. Maybe if you try to befriend them?" "Shiro, you should know Japan better than I. These students want someone speak English with, not a new friend," Kira said as she sat up. "Okay, I'll talk with Principal Kuno again. But, please, give it a full week before you quit?" Kira sighed and put her head on the table. "Sure, whatever. But I cannot handle another day like this." She closed her eyes. "Are you going to drink that?" Shiro said. "No," Kira yawned, thinking Shiro wanted the coffee. Then, as Shiro pulled the glass beaker out of her hands, Kira sat up. "Wait, Shiro, you don't want to do that!" Shiro stared at his cousin before swallowing the solution in one gulp. Kira said. She yanked the now empty beaker out of his hands. Shiro asked in surprise. Kira groaned. She dragged a protesting Shiro out of the room. ************ Tick. The classroom clock's minute hand moved, audibly marking off another minute lost. Tick. Tick. Tonomi Kanzaki grew more apprehensive with each new click. Where is Smith- sensei, she wondered, twisting her long black ponytail around her fingers. Indeed, that seemed to be the question of the hour. Tonomi's class endured two days of Hawaiian-English creole while Principal Kuno covered for the now transferred Mr. Yamada. The principal informed the class the day before that Shiro would take over their English class. However, the class period had started three minutes earlier without any sign of Tonomi's favorite teacher. Tonomi sneaked a peak at a small Polaroid of Shiro obtained from Nabiki. "I hope nothing happened to Smith-sensei," she whispered. He was so charming and sweet and handsome, and graduation was only two months away. Earlier in the school year, Shiro told Tonomi that he would not under any circumstances date a student. He had not, however, said that he was not interested in her. Tonomi would wait until she was not a high school student anymore. Then things would change. "Still pining away for that teacher, are we?" a soprano voice asked her. "It's not like that, Aiko." Tonomi said, trying to hide the picture in her folder. "Come one, Tonomi, you know you can't fool anyone. Half the rumors about Smith- sensei involve you in some manner," Aiko, a casual friend, said. "I wish some of them weren't rumors," Tonomi sighed. "Including the ones about you carrying his love child?" Aiko said, baiting Tonomi. Tonomi's face grew red and she sputtered. "Not, not that one! Do they really think that I'd, we'd, Smith-sensei'd, you know..." Tonomi looked away from her friend, wiggling her fingers nervously. "I know what?" Aiko asked innocently. "Don't make me say it. Not here, where people can overhear." The dancer slumped in her chair, hoping the desk would hide her. "You're such a romantic, Tonomi." Aiko laughed at Tonomi's discomfort. "There's a couple freshmen that beat up anyone who dares suggest that their beloved Kanzaki-sempai would do anything so impure. A silent few might think you and Mr. Smith know each other that way, but most people think Miss Kawai will end up with Mr. Smith. Although with the way Miss Takahashi dressed a few days ago, you'd think she's trying to catch more than Mr. Smith's eye." "Can we please change the subject?" Tonomi said miserably. Aiko thought for a moment. Her eyes fell upon her study guide for her entrance exams. "So, Tonomi, hear from any universities yet?" "A few, but I haven't made my decision yet." Tonomi sighed, visibly relaxing. "So, if you had to pick today, which one would it be? I'm thinking Todai myself," Aiko said. "I'm leaning towards Sabishii. It has an excellent performing arts program that I can still be involved in if I'm majoring in another subject." Tonomi enjoyed the change in topic. "And it's close to Nerima, too." "I don't want to be too far from home." "You mean you don't want to be too far from Furinkan." Aiko laughed. "Could you leave it alone, just for a minute," Tonomi groaned, sinking back down in her chair. Aiko answered with a pleasant "No." The door opened. The entire class stopped their games and gossip, snapping to attention. Tonomi's heart leapt. At last she would be reunited with Mr. Smith in class. The class, save one, was relieved when the school gossipmonger walked in. "Didya hear? Mr. Smith's in the nurse's office," she said, only to face a battery of questions and conjectures from Tonomi's classmates. "Really? You know what happened?" "Rumor has it that he passed out or something." "Is he dead?" "No, but you'll wish you were if Principal Kuno teaches us today." "Miss Kawai'll probably cover for Mr. Smith," one of the more hentai-minded boys shouted from the back. "Nope. No one's seen her since second period today," the gossip queen said proudly. "She ran out of the school." "Can I be faulted for hoping that she never comes back?" Tonomi muttered. And the uninformed conjecture continued. "Wow, two teachers missing and one in a coma, and it's not even halfway through the week. Maybe the school'll blow up tomorrow." "I hope so, I hate this pineapple decor." Tonomi stood up. "Aiko, please take notes for me," she said before scooping her books into her bag and disappearing out the door. "Sure, I guess," Aiko said. A minute later, she groaned as Principal Kuno entered the classroom. ************ "You did what?!" an astonished Sakura said. Shiro sat on an examining table, sans shirt while Nurse Karou monitored his vital signs. Sakura and Kira clustered around the table, waiting for an announcement of Shiro's condition. "I can't believe you took the beaker out of the lab!" "Excuse me, I wasn't ever in chemistry. How should I know that Shiro'd mistake it for soda?" Kira shouted. Nurse Karou clenched her teeth, trying to block out Kira and Sakura's arguing. She had a patient to treat, one crazy enough to drink Sakura's concoctions. Hope he does not suffer too much for it, she thought. "Hmm, he doesn't seem to have any symptoms yet. Sakura, what was in that beaker he drank?" As she spoke, Karou's hands danced over Shiro's chest and abdomen in an indiscernible pattern. "I don't know. I couldn't tell you what was in the beaker before the love charm fell in," Sakura said. She looked over at Kira and said haughtily, "Of course, I was in the process of figuring that out before someone tried to poison her cousin." She glared at a bristling Kira. "Cut it out," Karou commanded. "It was an accident. Sakura, could you get me that tray? Kira, is it? Grab the mop from the janitor's closet. Move, ladies!" The girls still glared at each other. "If you aren't going to help, get out!" Kira and Sakura jumped to fulfill Karou's commands. "Okay, Shiro, sit up straight," Karou said. She placed the tray on a cart, the positioned the cart at his knees. She then traced Shiro's rib cage until she reached his sternum. Then, using her fingers, she measured downward until she found the correct spot. She marked the location with a pen. "Now, relax and exhale." Shiro breathed out. Karou slugged him precisely at the point she had marked. Shiro doubled over, clutching his stomach. "What do you think you are doing?" Sakura shouted. Enraged, she walked over to the nurse. Shiro gasped for air, gagged, then filled the tray with a bright green fluid. "Inducing vomiting," Karou replied calmly. "Couldn't you have been more gentle?" "Time is of the essence, especially since some sort of magical field is in laced that chemical cocktail. The sooner he expelled the solution, the less exposure he received." Sakura relented at Karou's logic. Shiro sat up. He took a moment to look at his stomach. No signs of swelling or bruising appeared. The pain had vanished, too. "Hey, I'm fine." "That's nice, but I'm not done yet. I think I can neutralize this aura. From what I can tell, the potion only amplifies romantic feelings a person already has," Karou said. "That's the problem. We're not sure he has romantic feelings for anyone," Kira muttered. Karou continued her treatment. She traced complicated patterns over Shiro's heart with both hands. "Here it is." She pulled her right hand away, leaving her left hand over the desired point. Her hand stabbed down. "Nurse Karou!" Tonomi called from out in the hall. Karou flinched, and looked towards to door. This pulled her hand a few centimeters away from her desired point. "Just one moment." She looked back at Shiro. Her cheeks paled and she muttered under her breath. "What was that?" Kira said. "Quick, hand me that book on my desk." Sakura handed the book to the nurse. As she did, she noticed the cover read, "The Complete and Unabridged Map of Pressure Points." Karou leafed through the thick book with her left hand. Her right hand remained where it had landed on Shiro's back. She found a page, looked at Shiro, looked at the book, and blushed. "I think I made it worse." "What?!" Kira, Shiro, and Sakura said in unison. Shiro tried to turn around, but Karou stopped him. "According to this book, I hit the 'Love at First Sight' point. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" "Gimme the good news first," Shiro said, an optimist to the end. He put his shirt back on. "This'll wear off in a few hours. The bad news is, well, you'll want to wear a blindfold for that time." Karou wrapped a bolt of cloth around Shiro's eyes, then paused to think. Her brow furled. "Let's see, those were love charms... You might want to wear the blindfold longer than that." "'Love at first sight point?' You can't be serious," Kira laughed. Of all the craziest notions... "You're new here, aren't you," Karou said. Her eyes narrowed in disapproval. "She'll learn," Sakura said. "Um, excuse me, what's this 'Love at First Sight' point do?" Shiro asked as he tried to remove the cloth from his eyes. "You'll fall in love with the first girl you see forever," Karou said. "I knew I needed more rest today." Nurse Karou's competency had been proven time and again, but accidents had been known to happen when she was exhausted, which she frequently was. Furinkan rumor had it that Principal Kuno's obsession with the trappings of Hawaiian culture was the result of one of Karou's botched migraine cures. Then again, Furinkan students would believe anything. His hands froze. "Please tell me this is a joke." Karou sighed. "Why is it whenever I tell anyone something, I always get some variation of 'you must be joking?' Look, I'm serious, and if you don't believe me, you can go to Dr. Tofu's to get a second opinion if you wish. In fact, why don't you go there? Maybe then I'll be vindicated for a change. Now, if you excuse me, I've got other things to do." She stormed out of the room, leaving two out of three occupants staring at each other in amazement. "Guess we better get going then," Shiro said, clapping his hands. He hopped down from the table. Kira stood next to him, ready to act as his guide. Sakura bit her lip. She had classes to teach, but wanted to stay next to Shiro. "Oh, and Sakura, could you please cover my classes?" Shiro asking, not hearing Kira's groan of disgust. Sakura sighed. "Sure." Kira and Shiro walked out of the office. Tonomi entered the room. "Why did Nurse Karou leave in such a hurry?" she asked. "She said that she'd be back soon. Why don't you wait for her?" Sakura said. "I'll come back later," Tonomi said as she left. ************ "This way, Shiro," Kira said, leading her cousin down the sidewalk a block away from Dr. Tofu's practice. "We're almost there." Shiro clawed at the blindfold. "This is scratching me. Can I take it off? I'll keep my eyes closed, I promise." "No." "You don't believe what Karou said?" Shiro asked. Sweat glistened on his brow. Kira shook her head before realizing that Shiro could not see her movement. "She's not that bad, Kira. There's worse than Tonomi," Shiro answered. He remembered his encounter with Kodachi and shuddered. As the pair waited at the intersection, they were surprised by a loud shout of "Shampoo!" Kira said, before getting crushed by a rampaging Mousse. The impact broke her hold on Shiro's arm, allowing him to wander away from his cousin and out into the street. "Uh, Kira? Kira? You there?" Panic welled in Shiro's voice. "My darling Shampoo!" Mousse said, embracing Kira tighter in his affection joy. "I not Shampoo," Kira gasped. "Kira, where are you?" Seconds later, a cacophony of tire screeches, metal crumpling and profanity filled the air. Kira shouted. She craned her neck to see if he was okay, but Mousse's smothering embrace blocked her view. "Shampoo? Are you feeling well? You don't sound like yourself. Let's go back to the old ghoul. She'll make sure you aren't sick," Mousse said, pulling a struggling Kira away from her cousin left stranded in the intersection. Kira did not like the sound of that one bit. ************ Tonomi sat in Dr. Tofu's office. Per the doctor's instructions, she waited outside the examining room, but that did not prevent her from sitting right outside the door. While Dr. Tofu searched for a diagnosis and treatment for Shiro's ailment, Tonomi absorbed herself in her English homework, although not far enough that she missed the snatches of conversation that leaked out of the room. She knew, from waiting outside Nurse Karou's office earlier, that Shiro swallowed one of Miss Takahashi's solutions. In the course of treating Shiro, Nurse Karou missed the pressure point she intended, hitting the "Love at First Sight" point instead. Tonomi had followed Shiro. She would not allow him to make the mistake of looking at the wrong woman, since Nurse Karou claimed that Shiro would fall in love with the first woman he saw. Fortunately for Shiro, his self-appointed guardian angel found him wandering in circles through the middle of a busy intersection and led him to the doctor's office. She chatted idly with Shiro during the short walk, hiding that she knew about his condition. Shiro knew of her feelings for him, and Tonomi did not want him to think that she was trying to take advantage of the love point's effects. When she asked him about the blindfold, he claimed to have an eye-infection. The door slammed open. Shiro's cousin, one Kira Langoleer, if Tonomi rmembered correctly, rushed in panting. "Anyone know where you can find pepper spray in Japan?" she asked between breaths. Her eyes narrowed when she recognized Tonomi. "What are you doing here?" Kira demanded. Tonomi looked up from her poetry book. "I brought Shiro here after I found him in the middle of the road. What was he doing out there by himself?" she asked with an air of pure innocence. "Aren't you supposed to be at school?" Kira growled. She walked until she towered over Tonomi, using every bit of her height to intimidate the dancer. Tonomi shrugged. She grew used to most forms of intimidation during the long string of competitions and meets she had performed in. Kira sighed. "I guess I should thank you," she said before walking into the examining room. "I'm sorry, Miss, but you'll have to wait outside," Dr. Tofu said as he blocked the doorway. Kira glared at him for a moment, then sat down a fair distance away from Tonomi. Tonomi sized up Kira out of the corner of her eye. This was Tonomi's chance to examine a Western woman in person. Under the pretense of reading her poems, Tonomi noticed how Kira carried herself, how she dressed, and how she reacted to everything. Tonomi stored away every nuance with the skill that came from analyzing hundreds of dances. If Shiro wanted a more Western woman, Tonomi would adapt. It would be another dance routine to her. Unfortunately, Tonomi had no clue to Shiro's preferences in women. She had guesses, but if she could talk with Kira, maybe Tonomi could find out for certain. Let Nabiki scheme, Tonomi would get the inside track from the one in Japan who knew Shiro best. "Well, Karou was right. She did hit the 'love at first sight' point. I keep on telling her that she needs to get rest, but she never listens," Dr. Tofu said from inside the room. Both Tonomi and Kira's ears perked at the sound of his voice. "And there is a magical field of some sort intertwined with your aura. However, that's fading rapidly and should be out of your system within an hour." Tonomi held her breath, hoping that Dr. Tofu would say he could nullify the results of the love point. "Well, I can fix this," Dr. Tofu said. The phone rang. "If you would excuse me for one moment?" As Dr. Tofu opened the examining room door, Tonomi scurried away. She did not want him to suspect she had been eavesdropping. The doctor headed over to the phone, ignoring her. "Hello, Dr. Tofu's office. Ka, Kasumi!" he answered the phone. Tonomi's eyes snapped open and she shivered. One look at towards the telephone confirmed her worst fears. Dr. Tofu's eyes had glazed over, and he danced some silly jig. She dashed into the examining room, both relieved and disappointed that Shiro still wore his makeshift blindfold. "Come on, I'm getting you out of here," she said, grabbing her teacher's hand. Shiro tried pulling his hand free. "No, Dr. Tofu's going to cure me." "No, he isn't," Tonomi hissed. "He's out of his mind." "Shiro, let's go," Kira said, running into the room. "The doctor just lost it." "What's going on?" Shiro asked. "Dr. Tofu just talked to Kasumi, and it sent him into a euphoric fog. Right now, he's more likely to fold your spine into a pretty bow than anything else," Tonomi said, tugging on Shiro's arm. The three walked out the door, trying not to attract the notice of Dr. Tofu as they left the building. ************ Nabiki sighed as the teacher droned on. Another class, another waste of time. At least it gave her a chance to think while her classmates debated the various imagined symbols in whatever uninspired work the literature teacher had selected. She sighed again, shaking her head. How could she have been so stupid? When Nabiki learned of the love polygon developing around Shiro Smith, she seized the opportunity to repay him for his rudeness. She had tried to help him on occasion, only to be tactlessly rebuffed. Mariko's innocent dinner invitation offered Nabiki the perfect situation to make Mr. Smith's life more uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the dinner date fiasco turned the tables on Nabiki. First, her listening device combusted when splashed with water. That incident should have been avoidable. Then, contrary to her advice, Shiro did not choose one of his suitors, leaving Nabiki in the position of having to make good on a threat. Finally, a new factor had been introduced, one Kira Langoleer, Mr. Smith's cousin. Kira was American, and, to Nabiki's mind, unpredictable. To top it all, Nabiki had extracted a favor from Tonomi Kanzaki pending Nabiki's removal of both Sakura Takahashi and Kira from the playing field. Mistakes piled up higher each time Nabiki reviewed the weekend's events. Nabiki swore at herself. She had lost her detachment in the situation, making a series of rash promises she was bound by businesswoman's honor to keep. Now she had to salvage her reputation. First, she would mail copies of the pictures of Mariko and Shiro in compromising situations to Shiro as a reminder. Then, she needed to find out more information about his cousin. Kira tutored for Shiro's English classes, presenting an unparalleled opportunity for Nabiki to size up her opposition. That left removing Ms. Takahashi from the love polygon... "Miss Tendo, please pay attention!" her teacher scolding, bringing Nabiki out of her thoughts. There would be time later to plot. ************* "So, is Hurricane Kasumi over yet?" Tonomi asked Kira. Both young women leaned against the wall outside Dr. Tofu's office. Shiro sat on the ground, reclining against the building. His eyes were closed and a peaceful look illuminated his face. Kira peered inside a nearby window and shook her head. "He's still dancing with the skeleton." "It's been over an hour," Shiro said. "How much longer?" Tonomi jumped. "I, I thought you were asleep," she stammered. "Just thinking. Not much else I can do." "And what did with you come up?" Kira said. She looked away from the window. Shiro sighed. "Don't mind me, I'm just going to sleep." He closed his eyes again. Kira waited until Shiro's breathing had settled into a slow rhythmic pattern for a while. "You knew, didn't you?" she asked Tonomi. She faced the dancer with her arms crossed. Tonomi nodded. "And you didn't try to take off the blindfold." Tonomi sighed, leaning against the wall. "The thought crossed my mind often. I've had to watch as Mariko, I mean Miss Kawai, and Miss Takahashi got more attention from Shiro than me," she said. A slight smile crossed her lips. "I could have ended that, but I didn't. It wouldn't have been fair to him. I want him to choose to love me, not because he is forced to by some spell." "If he doesn't love you?" Kira cursed her difficulty with the Japanese language. "He doesn't even know me," Tonomi sighed. "All he sees me as is his student. I wish he could get to know me, see me for who I really am. I want to be seen as Tonomi, not Miss Kanzaki in room 2-F, third row, desk 3. Maybe then he'll take me seriously." Unbeknownst to Tonomi, Shiro's face reddened as she spoke. Kira noticed and stepped in between Tonomi and Shiro. "Thank you, Kira," Tonomi said. "What for?" "I know you're suspicious of me. Thank you for being civil in front of Shiro," Tonomi said. "I, I better go now. As you said, I should be in class. Tell Shiro I hope Dr. Tofu can, well, you know." Tonomi smiled ruefully, then ran away. Kira stared at Tonomi's retreating form in subdued silence. Shiro said. Kira stared straight ahead as she spoke. This time, it was an honest question, not the previous accusations of a girl helping her friend. She was answered by silence. Then, in quiet contemplation, Shiro spoke. Kira pressed her questioning. "Is Dr. Tofu ready to see me now?" Shiro asked. Kira looked through the window. The skeleton stood propped against the wall while Dr. Tofu swept the debris caused by his leave of sanity. She reached down to guide Shiro to his feet. Kira lied as they entered the doctor's office for the second time. ************ Sakura stood outside Dr. Tofu's practice. With short precise movements, she straightened her outfit to look her best. She knew doing so was silly, Shiro would probably still be wearing the blindfold when she walked in, but the unpredictable emotional side told her rational side to take a coffee break. She took a deep breath, then another until her nerves quieted. She opened the door with a smooth deliberate motion. "Hi, Sakura," Kira said, looking up from one of the office's tattered year-old magazines. "On lunch break?" "Yep. Sorry about yelling at you earlier," Sakura said. Kira shrugged it off. "Don't worry about it. We were both worried about Shiro. It's water under the bridge." Sakura took a moment to think. What was so special about water under a bridge? Must be one of those American sayings that have no literal translation in other languages. "How's Shiro?" Sakura was eager to find out. "Dr. Tofu just stepped out of the room. I'm sure he won't mind if you talked with Shiro for a moment." Kira leafed through the magazine. "Wow. I didn't think Japan had get-rich-quick schemes." She looked up from her magazine. "What are you still doing here? Go in, go in." Kira made shoo-ing motions with her free hand. A loud chime echoed down the hall. Sakura guessed that the sound originated from one of the examining rooms. She shrugged, and walked on until she found Shiro's room. Sakura rapped her knuckles against the door. "Uh, Shiro, how are you doing?" She stepped into the room, recognizing it as the same one that Mariko had been treated in. Shiro sat with his back toward the door. He turned around at the sound of Sakura's voice. "Sakura, it's good to see you," he said with a great big smile and a twinkle in his eye. Sakura froze. His eyes. A cursory examination of the room found his blindfold discarded on the floor, no longer covering his eyes like it was supposed to. She was the first woman he had seen, the first not bound by blood ties to him at least, and that meant- Her heart raced, and she stared at Shiro, blinking occasionally as her mind struggled to deal with the implications. She did not want Shiro, no, of course she wanted Shiro's affection, but not like this. "You okay?" Shiro said. He stood up and walked toward Sakura. A small squeal of shock escaped Sakura's lips as he approached. "I, I'm fine. Are you okay? I mean, with the, the, and your eyes, and," Sakura stammered. Shiro rested his hand on her arm to comfort her. She almost fainted at the electric touch. "Are you talking about that love at first sight point or whatever it was? I've been cured for about five minutes, thanks to Dr. Tofu," Shiro said. Sakura gave a soft sigh and smiled, shaking her head. She breathed deep to settle her nerves. "What is it?" Shiro asked. "Oh, nothing." To Sakura's surprise, a small part of her was disappointed that he had been cured. "Just thinking about how relieved I am not to have to teach English today." "Only if you teach my math classes instead." Shiro smiled. "Not a chance," Sakura laughed as she pulled him out into the hall. Shiro snapped his fingers and shook his head. "It was worth a try." "So, ready to go?" Sakura asked. Shiro nodded. "I've not-seen enough of doctors to last me quite a while." He walked up to the desk and signed the requisite papers, scrawling Japanese characters underneath accidental English signatures. "At last, its over," he sighed under his breath. ************ Between classes the next day, Shiro walked down the halls of Furinkan High, still grateful for the chance to see again. He had gone along with the pressure point madness the day before to appease everyone else, although part of him entertained the possibility that there was truth behind Nurse Karou's claims. The idea of a 'love at first sight' point seemed so ludicrous to Shiro's Western influenced mind, yet he had worked in Nerima long enough not to discount the possibility. Better to be safe than sorry, even if the relative helplessness grated against his nerves. Considering the horror stories Karou and Sakura showered him with earlier in the year, Shiro considered himself lucky to come out of the situation with only a few skipped classes. "Hi, Mr. Smith," a familiar voice greeted him as he walked by. Shiro turned around. Tonomi stood right behind him. "Good morning, Miss Kanzaki," he said. She smiled. "See you in English class." She no longer spoke in the high soprano favored by Japanese culture, but in lower tones, as if she was trying for, but not quite achieving, a seductive air. She checked her watch, waved, and walked away. He watched as Tonomi rounded the corner. She seemed to possess an uncanny ability to predict Shiro's path. Whenever he walked from class to class, he saw the young women at least once along his way. It had started a couple days ago, but this day had been different. Something had changed in the way she carried herself. Somehow she looked older than he remembered, as if the cultivated air of innocence and youth that most Japanese girls pursued had vanished, replaced by something more mature. She looked good, he realized, much to his surprise and concern. Kira's words from before echoed in his head followed by his answer. "Who I date will be my decision and you have to trust that I'll make the right choice at the right time." "I wish I knew that decision," he said to himself. He considered the choices. There was Tonomi, with her graceful movements and determination. Her pursuit would end if he dated another, or so he hoped. Then there was Mariko, full of exuberance and life. Unfortunately, he could not tell if Mariko was interested or just friendly. He could not forget Sakura. She had helped him out of more embarrassing situations than he had cared to be in. Shiro found himself looking forward to his daily encounters with her. He had even thought about Karou once, for a minute before the madness truly set in. "Hey, Shiro, wait up!" Mariko called from behind. Such thoughts can wait, Shiro thought. He turned around to see her run towards him. He was pleased to note that she did not wince as she moved. "You're back! So, how was your trip?" Shiro asked. "He seemed much happier, almost like how I remembered him." "Almost?" "Well, he is older now," Mariko giggled. "When I'm Yamada's age, will anyone look to me as his or her inspiration?" Shiro said under his breath. "He said the stress was too much for him to bear. And he also said to tell you he was sorry about, what did he call it, 'Green Eggs and Ham.' I wonder what he meant by that?" Mariko said. Shiro knew. He scoured Tokyo looking for a replacement for the copy Mr. Yamada destroyed. "It's nothing, Mariko. Just an object lesson from before you started teaching here." "So, Shiro, what happened while I was gone?" Mariko asked. Shiro rolled his eyes. "It's a long story." "Really? Well, do you want to tell it over a cup of coffee after school?" Mariko asked. Her large expressive eyes gazed expectantly at him. "Sure," Shiro replied, hoping that the rumor mill would not turn this into Mariko asking Shiro on another date. Which was precisely what the rumor mill made it out to be. ************* Author's comments- I had originally set out to write a fun and light-hearted mixed up love potion story in the vein of the three love pill story in Ranma 1/2, not the largest part to date. Certain things, such as Karou's outburst and Tonomi's growing fascination with Western culture, seemed to come out of nowhere. There's more I could have done, and I probably should have done less at the same time. Hopefully, you found the part acceptable and up to my usual standard. I know Yamada was written out in LoCS #23, but I had to write the Mariko parts to see how she'd react to the news and as part apology. I had tried to do something with Yamada back in LoCS #11, but it never materialized due to various reasons. Cold Shot is taken from the Stevie Ray Vaughn song of the same name. As I have no guarantees of getting the final spot on the LoCS queue, let me just say it was a pleasure working on the story and with everyone else who has contributed. Thank you, and thank you to the readers for sticking with us for the over 30 parts Lack of Common Sensei will run. As always, you can contact me with comments or opinions at Achariyth@aol.com. How else am I going to get better? Nathan